Post by Zelda Knite on Mar 9, 2013 23:56:57 GMT -6
[Adam Knite comes rushing into of our screens as he heads towards Crystal Hilton who is standing in front of a door with her cell phone at her ear. Adam comes right up to her and holds out his arms confused and she puts up her index finger to tell him just a second.]
Crystal: Alright, Adam is here so I gotta go. Talk to you later.
[Crystal turns to Adam who is still very much confused and concerned.]
Crystal: Adam! Thank you! How did you get here so fast?
Adam: You said something was wrong with Z, I hauled ass as fast as I could.
Crystal: Oh right... Adam there is something wrong with Z.
Adam: ...
Crystal: She locked herself in her room. She won’t answers, she won’t come out, she’s just in there laying in bed.
Adam: For how long?
Crystal: A few hours. I can’t get her to do anything, I even told her that I was going to smash her Xbox with a hammer if she didn’t come out.... and she’s still there.
Adam: Well that’s because she has like 6 of them... I mean what’s losing just one Xbox to her?
Crystal: Wait.. why does she have that many?
Adam: Collectors ed... It’s not important! What’s wrong? “Why” is she in there?! What is going on?
Crystal: I don’t know... Simon said something about Gib making an announcement about how much he cared about Xander and Z and then said he was going to try and find them a new mommy....
[Adam’s eyes go wide, he reaches forward and grabs Crystal by the shoulders with an intense and worried look on his face. He shakes her slightly as his voice elevates and the situation seems to become even more dire.]
Adam: What is he, ****ing crazy!? That idiot! That moron! That pedantic old bastard! What is wrong with him!?
Crystal: Why are you still shaking me?
[Adam looks down at the concerned expression on Crystal’s face and then his hands on her shoulders. He pulls away and nods his head, apologizing to his sister’s best friend and his former lover.]
Adam: Sorry. Look, that is the worst possible thing for Zelda... ever.
Crystal: Why? It’s just Gib going on a date...
Adam: Yeah well, you remember how she reacted when she found out Gib was her dad?
Crystal: Yeah...
Adam: Imagine that, but ten times worse. She doesn’t take these things well.
[Adam turns his attention to the door and begins to knock on it.]
Adam: Z, it’s me. Come on, open up and talk to me.
[The scene shifts to Zelda sitting in her room, all the lights are off and she sits on the edge of the bed, staring off blankly at nothing while simultaneously looking angry. She turns slightly to look a the door, falls back onto her back and looks at the ceiling.]
Zelda: Go away.
Adam: Sydney Zelda Marie Knight... Don’t make me count to three.. 1...2....
Zelda: **sigh**
[Zelda rolls out of bed and shambles over to the door where she unlocks it and pulls it open to glare angrily at her brother standing there. Adam pushes the door open and slides into the room and Crystal happily looks to follow him but Zelda quickly shuts the door in her face, leaving Crystal standing there with her arms out applaud and insulted.]
Crystal: HEY! I’ve been here for hours trying to get in... That’s so not fair.
[Fade out.]
-------
Seriously?
WTH?
Kathy Conway.. my question for you is: Do you even listen to yourself? Do you even bother to just write down what you’re going to say and just read it and make sure that you don’t sound like a rambling moron? Well scratch that, because after what you said it’s pretty clear that you probably don’t. I’m just going to be honest with you, I would be all kinds of annoyed at the things you said, if it wasn’t just the promo I did against you two weeks ago... said right back to me. Another fantastic trait that you must have inherited through The Ace. How you can have so many of the mannerisms and traits of a person that you simply sleep with, I don’t know, but you sure do.
You know the reason I don’t have a care in the world when it comes to you? It’s because I know that you’re nothing special. So many times people talk about how you and Kelly were the first true Starlets in this company, how you battled it out tooth and nail against each other long before there was an actual title to fight for, long before there was a huge reason to fight. Yet, every time I look at those records, I see Kelly and Adam coming out on top over you and Ace. I see you two on the losing end of every single contest and I stop and I think to myself, is this really something that I should care about? Are these really people that I should consider the top of the company? You seem to keep thinking that you’re M. Bison in the fact that you’re the bad guy, but that doesn’t make you a pushover, but in reality you’re way closer to a Dr. Wiley. You keep coming up with these grand schemes these big plans just to get knocked down again and again. It’s nice to see you get back up and try again after each and every colossal failure... but come one... just give it up already.
Then of course, you pull a total derp moment and totally ignore everything I’ve been saying the past month. No, i’m not, not fighting for anything. I’m not just content with everything, I’m just not actively pursuing the World title. I certainly could if I wanted to, heck it’s not like I don’t have a good claim, I held the belt twice and have never actually been pinned to lose the belt. It’s just that unlike you I don’t have to measure my success by accomplishments. I don’t have to have the world title to be considered relevant. You and Emma, people who really don’t sell a ton of merchandise, who really don’t have a huge amount of fans, who really don’t get a lot of wins have to have belts to justify their existence in this business, have to have something to prove that they belong... the fact that you HAVE to have a reason to exist and I don’t, Isn’t a knock on me. Sorry. I’m just above all that, I’m not saying I’m too good for the World title belt... I’m just saying that... if I was pursuing some kind of imaginary goal that holding the world title would give me, I’d only be chasing myself, and what’s the fun in that?
My reason for fighting is for this division I made. I named, I turned relevant. I don’t want to see you and Manbeast trample all over it. I don’t want to see people who don’t deserve the spotlight get it, I don’t want to watch as you make a mockery of everything I fought for. That’s what I’m saying, that’s what I’ve said, that’s what you have conveniently forgotten to mention because it doesn’t meet the agenda of your rant against me.
I’m Zelda Knite. I don’t have to do, well, anything. I walk into a room and people instantly know who I am, people say my name and they jump up and start cheering their heads off. I am me, I am already at the top of the leaderboard. I simply stood up to stop you and your silly ways and seeing as I am “THE” Zelda Knite... I really don’t need another other excuse than that... because well...
This is my Legend.
-------
[Zelda grabs her 3DS XL and flops back on the bed and begins playing what appears to be Pokemon as Adam walks in sits at the edge of her bed. He reaches over and pulls the 3DS out of her hands so they can talk.]
Adam: Zelda...
[She reaches beneath her pillow and pulls out another 3DS, this one a nice pink color and begins playing it now. Adam’s eyes thin to slits as he’s clearly not amused.]
Adam: ZELDA!
[She rolls her eyes and closes the clam-shell lid.]
Zelda: WHAT?!
Adam: What has gotten into you? Crystal says you’ve been locked in here for almost a whole day.
Zelda: Nothing. I just want to be alone.
Adam: She told me about Gib going on a date Z.
Zelda: So? Why should I care?
Adam: Because you did this same thing when my out dad had girlfriends.
Zelda: YOUR dad.
Adam: You know what I mean. You get all mopey and depressed and refuse to talk to anybody because you don’t want anybody but mom.
Zelda: I never knew her... How would I know if I wanted her?
Adam: Because I know you and I know it still hurts that you never got a chance to be with her, but you have to move on Z.
Zelda: NO I DON’T! I don’t want “a mom” I don’t want somebody else, I want “my mom”! If I can’t have her I don’t want anybody.
[Adam puts his hand on Zelda’s knee to try and comfort her, but she quickly bats it away as she pulls up in the bed, rests against the backboard and curls herself in a tight ball, obviously trying not to tear up.]
Adam: You’re 22 years old, and I think it’s time you grew out of this. Don’t you? Besides, it’s just a date...
Zelda: He never dated mom, he shouldn’t be allowed to date anybody else either!
Adam: Zelda that’s unfair and you know it. He’s made a lot of mistakes, he’s just trying to fix those the best he cant, but it doesn’t mean he isn’t allowed to go out, enjoy himself and be happy for just one night.
Zelda: He said he was looking for a wife! He said he wanted to give us a new mommy! NO NO NO NO!
Adam: Look at it this way... you know Gib, how charming could he be? Do you really think a well off successful doctor is going to fall for an oafish brute who turns every conversation into erotic penis innuendo?
Zelda: It worked with mom
Adam: hmm... touche...
[Adam nods his head at this, as she’s made a pretty good point.]
Adam: regardless, for all you know this date could lead to nowhere if something went wrong... so there is no point in worrying yet.
Zelda: Something could go wrong......
Adam: Yeaaah.... Why did you say it like that?
Zelda: Hmm... ok, I’m better.
Adam: What?
Zelda: Get out, I’m good now, I’ve over it, now I just want to get dressed so you have to go.
[Zelda jumps out of bed, grabs Adam by the arm and pulls him towards the door. She opens it and pushes him from behind to try and get him to leave, but he stops as he holds the door open.]
Adam: Are you sure you’re ok?
Zelda: Never better... thanks to you.
Adam: Alright... wanna grab something to eat? I did come all this way...
Zelda: Later. Go... I need some peace.
[Zelda pushes Adam through the door and shuts it behind him as Crystal again tries to get in but is rejected. Zelda smiles devilishly from ear to ear as the camera pans into her face and we fade to black.]
-------
Jenny...
Why are you so weird? I swear if you weren’t marrying my half brother I’d slap you so hard and just scream at you to quit being such a two faced jerk who can’t make up her own dang mind about who she wants to be. Every week you seem to change from wanting to be the stuck up princess to being the innocent girl next door and back again over and over and over and over. It’s so freaking frustrating that I don’t ever know which Jenny is at the house every week when you come over. Make up your mind already! Do you want to be a top down adventure game like Zelda 1 or a 2d side scroller like The Adventures of Link? Do you want to be liked by all those Zombies, or do you want to be against them? JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND!
But other than that... Have fun with the belt that I’ve never lost. Congratulations on the second title reign by the way, it’s good that you added another name to that list. It’s what the Starlets division needs. A good strong figure to hold that belt to the same standards as I did. If you can do that, without Shrek and Miss Meow doing all your dirty work, then I have no problems with you. If you can chase my high score without resorting to any dirty means, without trying to get an unfair advantage, then by all means go for it.
Best of luck to you in all that though... because I can see the influence they are having on you, the pressure that is being put on you by Jake and I can see your armor cracking, it’s degrading, it’s opening you up for attack. If this were an RPG I’d tell you to go get it repaired. Tell you to watch it because you’re about to go into a boss battle without any defense... but since this isn’t an RPG and if you are leaning on Jake as a crutch to get to the top... then I hope you fail and I hope you don’t notice and I hope you get to see that game over screen several times... oh and I hope your last save is four hours back in that last town.... I’m kinda rambling there... shut up.
Anyway... we’re going to be sisters soon. So I don’t want to have to fight you. I don’t want to have to stand against Xander after how he stood with me during me whole Homeless Herald period... but I will. I’m not scared of taking on anybody, I not afraid of fighting for what I believe in. I once stood toe to toe against my own brother without backing down. I once ran down to the ring and challenged Dave Holland for a world title match... I’m not scared of anything, so don’t think just because Xander has your back... that I won’t come for you if you give me a good enough reason.
Just give me that one good reason, and see what I can do.
Just ask Emma, if you need a preview of what I’m capable of.
-------
[Zelda stares through a pair of binoculars at perhaps one of the fanciest restaurants you’ve ever seen and when the camera turns slightly to the right with see boyfriend Simon Daye along for the ride.]
Simon: Zelda... really?
Zelda: The first stage of operation parent trap is underway... I’m going to ruin this date...
Simon: You do realize that Parent Trap was about getting two people together right?
Zelda: Mmmm... shut up. Look, here we go.
[Gib is walking in through the front doors and the host behind the pedestal there begins looking through his reservation log book.]
Zelda: Heehee, I called and canceled the reservations. Now he’s going to be forced to take her to the next best place for him... the McDonalds across the street where that creepy foreign guy with four girlfriends works.
Simon: What makes you so sure?
Zelda: He’s way too cheap for anything else.
[We zoom back in and see Gib look confused, before he makes the guy lean in and then slips him a fifty. Zelda’s jaw drops as a waiter quickly escorts Gib and his date towards a table.]
Zelda: Are you kidding me!? He’s never not been cheap... what in the... no no, no bother. I came prepared, lets hit plan B Simon. Give me the phone.
[We cut to the inside where a nice waiter just doing his job walks towards Gib with a pad of paper in his hands. He walks right past Gib and towards a table positioned behind Gib and his date and taps the man on his shoulder.]
Waiter: Excuse me, Mr. Tibford Hamularo... the pharmacy called and said your AIDS medication is ready.
[The woman who is with Tibrod stands up from her chair and begins screaming and slaps poor Tibford across the face. Gib and his date look at the couple and begin snickering to each other as they watch the scene, smiling and seemingly very happy at this moment breaking the ice for him.]
Gib: You should get him one good time in the breadbasket too.
[The two laugh and we head back to Zelda who looks like she’s about to snap the binoculars in half.]
Zelda: What the... Tibford’s not even a real name!
Simon: I’m not even sure Gibford is....
Zelda: HUSH! That’s it... desperate measures are in order. Time to Mrs. Doubtfire this beotch.
[Zelda stands up from her hiding spot and begins heading towards the door.]
SImon: Zelda... Zelda wait... Zelda I don’t even know what the means. ZELDA.
[We cut away briefly to cut back and see Zelda and Simon inside the restaurant kitchen wearing chef hats and aprons. Zelda walks over to the plates that obviously belong to Gib and his date and comically pulls out a large thing of dried Habanero pepper flakes.]
Zelda: You know what this does to his stomach....
Simon: Way too well.
Zelda: If this doesn’t send her running away as fast as she can, nothing will.
[Zelda takes the thing, and dumps what has to be at least half the bottle into the food before pocketing the rest. Her and Simon turn around to try and exit the kitchen from the way they came. The dodge through the crowd of people and make their way into a safe position inside the restaurant to view the action. The plates are delivered and Gib takes his fork and gets a big forkful of his dinner.]
Gib: This better be good for those kind of ridiculous french prices.
[He takes a bite, suddenly grabs at his throat and begins beating his chest with his other hand. Zelda looks shocked as she jumps from her hiding space and her and Simon look to run towards Gib, but just as they do. His date jumps up, rushes behind him and quickly gives him the heimlich maneuver, causing him to spit out the food. Gib looks at her in shock.. and then smiles as he turns his head to the side.]
Gib: Nobody has ever touched me in that way before...
Date: Well you know... I’m a doctor, I have to know these things.
Gib: That was amazing....I don’t know what to... Zelda?! What are you doing here? You two on a date too!?
Zelda: **stammers** uh, uh, uh... yea....
Gib: Well why don’t you two pull up some chairs. I almost died, did you see that? That must have been pretty damn cool... but she, saved me.
Zelda: I don’t think so.
Gib: I’m buying.
Zelda: No thanks.
Gib: Come on, you can meet my date....
Zelda: I’M NOT TALKING TO THAT HOME WRECKER! LEAVE ME ALONE!
[Zelda turns around and storms out of the restaurant leaving Simon behind. He waves uneasily and then just turns and heads after her, the two making quite the scene. Gib stands back up to his feet and his date looks at him confused.]
Date: Is she ok? What’s wrong?
Gib: Yeah, I think she’s on her period.
[Fade to black.]
So...
Emma.
Why do we go through this every single time we face? Why do we always have to go on the big monologue about how much you don’t fear me and how you’ll never back down? I get it. I really do. You’re my Bowser, no matter how many times I beat you no matter how many times I walk into your castle and drop you on your head you’re going to get up, dust yourself off and keep coming unfazed. I got it. Ok? I know what you can do in the ring, I know that you’re a big tough man beast of a competitor and all that good stuff... it’s just.. my poor ears are just so sick of hearing about it, EVERY time. Please. spare. me.
Look. I’m Zelda Knite. I admit... I lost my way at one point, I took the wrong path and now I have to work myself back to where I was, just to get the respect I once had from the everybody, but in the end I’m still me. That’s been my whole campaign since I took off that mask, since I finally stopped feeling sorry for myself, it’s that I was getting back up and I was putting an end to all the marriage, baby, CEO, business woman crap that I was trying to do. I was going to be more like the Zelda everybody fell in love with and I think for the most part I’ve done that. I haven’t gotten back into the title picture... but I haven’t tried at all since that Road to Gold tournament.
Emma, I’ve told you this time and time again. Simply put, the difference between you and I since that very first starlets match has come down to simply one thing.... me being better than you.
What other way can I put it? I’m Ocarina of TIme and you’re Superman 64. I’m Super Metroid and you’re Shaq-Fu. I am the Empire Strikes Back and you’re The Phantom Menace.
It’s time you just accepted it...
life is a game...
and I will always have the high score.... and you will just always going to be chasing me.
Just accept it already.
This is my legend.
Crystal: Alright, Adam is here so I gotta go. Talk to you later.
[Crystal turns to Adam who is still very much confused and concerned.]
Crystal: Adam! Thank you! How did you get here so fast?
Adam: You said something was wrong with Z, I hauled ass as fast as I could.
Crystal: Oh right... Adam there is something wrong with Z.
Adam: ...
Crystal: She locked herself in her room. She won’t answers, she won’t come out, she’s just in there laying in bed.
Adam: For how long?
Crystal: A few hours. I can’t get her to do anything, I even told her that I was going to smash her Xbox with a hammer if she didn’t come out.... and she’s still there.
Adam: Well that’s because she has like 6 of them... I mean what’s losing just one Xbox to her?
Crystal: Wait.. why does she have that many?
Adam: Collectors ed... It’s not important! What’s wrong? “Why” is she in there?! What is going on?
Crystal: I don’t know... Simon said something about Gib making an announcement about how much he cared about Xander and Z and then said he was going to try and find them a new mommy....
[Adam’s eyes go wide, he reaches forward and grabs Crystal by the shoulders with an intense and worried look on his face. He shakes her slightly as his voice elevates and the situation seems to become even more dire.]
Adam: What is he, ****ing crazy!? That idiot! That moron! That pedantic old bastard! What is wrong with him!?
Crystal: Why are you still shaking me?
[Adam looks down at the concerned expression on Crystal’s face and then his hands on her shoulders. He pulls away and nods his head, apologizing to his sister’s best friend and his former lover.]
Adam: Sorry. Look, that is the worst possible thing for Zelda... ever.
Crystal: Why? It’s just Gib going on a date...
Adam: Yeah well, you remember how she reacted when she found out Gib was her dad?
Crystal: Yeah...
Adam: Imagine that, but ten times worse. She doesn’t take these things well.
[Adam turns his attention to the door and begins to knock on it.]
Adam: Z, it’s me. Come on, open up and talk to me.
[The scene shifts to Zelda sitting in her room, all the lights are off and she sits on the edge of the bed, staring off blankly at nothing while simultaneously looking angry. She turns slightly to look a the door, falls back onto her back and looks at the ceiling.]
Zelda: Go away.
Adam: Sydney Zelda Marie Knight... Don’t make me count to three.. 1...2....
Zelda: **sigh**
[Zelda rolls out of bed and shambles over to the door where she unlocks it and pulls it open to glare angrily at her brother standing there. Adam pushes the door open and slides into the room and Crystal happily looks to follow him but Zelda quickly shuts the door in her face, leaving Crystal standing there with her arms out applaud and insulted.]
Crystal: HEY! I’ve been here for hours trying to get in... That’s so not fair.
[Fade out.]
-------
Seriously?
WTH?
Kathy Conway.. my question for you is: Do you even listen to yourself? Do you even bother to just write down what you’re going to say and just read it and make sure that you don’t sound like a rambling moron? Well scratch that, because after what you said it’s pretty clear that you probably don’t. I’m just going to be honest with you, I would be all kinds of annoyed at the things you said, if it wasn’t just the promo I did against you two weeks ago... said right back to me. Another fantastic trait that you must have inherited through The Ace. How you can have so many of the mannerisms and traits of a person that you simply sleep with, I don’t know, but you sure do.
You know the reason I don’t have a care in the world when it comes to you? It’s because I know that you’re nothing special. So many times people talk about how you and Kelly were the first true Starlets in this company, how you battled it out tooth and nail against each other long before there was an actual title to fight for, long before there was a huge reason to fight. Yet, every time I look at those records, I see Kelly and Adam coming out on top over you and Ace. I see you two on the losing end of every single contest and I stop and I think to myself, is this really something that I should care about? Are these really people that I should consider the top of the company? You seem to keep thinking that you’re M. Bison in the fact that you’re the bad guy, but that doesn’t make you a pushover, but in reality you’re way closer to a Dr. Wiley. You keep coming up with these grand schemes these big plans just to get knocked down again and again. It’s nice to see you get back up and try again after each and every colossal failure... but come one... just give it up already.
Then of course, you pull a total derp moment and totally ignore everything I’ve been saying the past month. No, i’m not, not fighting for anything. I’m not just content with everything, I’m just not actively pursuing the World title. I certainly could if I wanted to, heck it’s not like I don’t have a good claim, I held the belt twice and have never actually been pinned to lose the belt. It’s just that unlike you I don’t have to measure my success by accomplishments. I don’t have to have the world title to be considered relevant. You and Emma, people who really don’t sell a ton of merchandise, who really don’t have a huge amount of fans, who really don’t get a lot of wins have to have belts to justify their existence in this business, have to have something to prove that they belong... the fact that you HAVE to have a reason to exist and I don’t, Isn’t a knock on me. Sorry. I’m just above all that, I’m not saying I’m too good for the World title belt... I’m just saying that... if I was pursuing some kind of imaginary goal that holding the world title would give me, I’d only be chasing myself, and what’s the fun in that?
My reason for fighting is for this division I made. I named, I turned relevant. I don’t want to see you and Manbeast trample all over it. I don’t want to see people who don’t deserve the spotlight get it, I don’t want to watch as you make a mockery of everything I fought for. That’s what I’m saying, that’s what I’ve said, that’s what you have conveniently forgotten to mention because it doesn’t meet the agenda of your rant against me.
I’m Zelda Knite. I don’t have to do, well, anything. I walk into a room and people instantly know who I am, people say my name and they jump up and start cheering their heads off. I am me, I am already at the top of the leaderboard. I simply stood up to stop you and your silly ways and seeing as I am “THE” Zelda Knite... I really don’t need another other excuse than that... because well...
This is my Legend.
-------
[Zelda grabs her 3DS XL and flops back on the bed and begins playing what appears to be Pokemon as Adam walks in sits at the edge of her bed. He reaches over and pulls the 3DS out of her hands so they can talk.]
Adam: Zelda...
[She reaches beneath her pillow and pulls out another 3DS, this one a nice pink color and begins playing it now. Adam’s eyes thin to slits as he’s clearly not amused.]
Adam: ZELDA!
[She rolls her eyes and closes the clam-shell lid.]
Zelda: WHAT?!
Adam: What has gotten into you? Crystal says you’ve been locked in here for almost a whole day.
Zelda: Nothing. I just want to be alone.
Adam: She told me about Gib going on a date Z.
Zelda: So? Why should I care?
Adam: Because you did this same thing when my out dad had girlfriends.
Zelda: YOUR dad.
Adam: You know what I mean. You get all mopey and depressed and refuse to talk to anybody because you don’t want anybody but mom.
Zelda: I never knew her... How would I know if I wanted her?
Adam: Because I know you and I know it still hurts that you never got a chance to be with her, but you have to move on Z.
Zelda: NO I DON’T! I don’t want “a mom” I don’t want somebody else, I want “my mom”! If I can’t have her I don’t want anybody.
[Adam puts his hand on Zelda’s knee to try and comfort her, but she quickly bats it away as she pulls up in the bed, rests against the backboard and curls herself in a tight ball, obviously trying not to tear up.]
Adam: You’re 22 years old, and I think it’s time you grew out of this. Don’t you? Besides, it’s just a date...
Zelda: He never dated mom, he shouldn’t be allowed to date anybody else either!
Adam: Zelda that’s unfair and you know it. He’s made a lot of mistakes, he’s just trying to fix those the best he cant, but it doesn’t mean he isn’t allowed to go out, enjoy himself and be happy for just one night.
Zelda: He said he was looking for a wife! He said he wanted to give us a new mommy! NO NO NO NO!
Adam: Look at it this way... you know Gib, how charming could he be? Do you really think a well off successful doctor is going to fall for an oafish brute who turns every conversation into erotic penis innuendo?
Zelda: It worked with mom
Adam: hmm... touche...
[Adam nods his head at this, as she’s made a pretty good point.]
Adam: regardless, for all you know this date could lead to nowhere if something went wrong... so there is no point in worrying yet.
Zelda: Something could go wrong......
Adam: Yeaaah.... Why did you say it like that?
Zelda: Hmm... ok, I’m better.
Adam: What?
Zelda: Get out, I’m good now, I’ve over it, now I just want to get dressed so you have to go.
[Zelda jumps out of bed, grabs Adam by the arm and pulls him towards the door. She opens it and pushes him from behind to try and get him to leave, but he stops as he holds the door open.]
Adam: Are you sure you’re ok?
Zelda: Never better... thanks to you.
Adam: Alright... wanna grab something to eat? I did come all this way...
Zelda: Later. Go... I need some peace.
[Zelda pushes Adam through the door and shuts it behind him as Crystal again tries to get in but is rejected. Zelda smiles devilishly from ear to ear as the camera pans into her face and we fade to black.]
-------
Jenny...
Why are you so weird? I swear if you weren’t marrying my half brother I’d slap you so hard and just scream at you to quit being such a two faced jerk who can’t make up her own dang mind about who she wants to be. Every week you seem to change from wanting to be the stuck up princess to being the innocent girl next door and back again over and over and over and over. It’s so freaking frustrating that I don’t ever know which Jenny is at the house every week when you come over. Make up your mind already! Do you want to be a top down adventure game like Zelda 1 or a 2d side scroller like The Adventures of Link? Do you want to be liked by all those Zombies, or do you want to be against them? JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND!
But other than that... Have fun with the belt that I’ve never lost. Congratulations on the second title reign by the way, it’s good that you added another name to that list. It’s what the Starlets division needs. A good strong figure to hold that belt to the same standards as I did. If you can do that, without Shrek and Miss Meow doing all your dirty work, then I have no problems with you. If you can chase my high score without resorting to any dirty means, without trying to get an unfair advantage, then by all means go for it.
Best of luck to you in all that though... because I can see the influence they are having on you, the pressure that is being put on you by Jake and I can see your armor cracking, it’s degrading, it’s opening you up for attack. If this were an RPG I’d tell you to go get it repaired. Tell you to watch it because you’re about to go into a boss battle without any defense... but since this isn’t an RPG and if you are leaning on Jake as a crutch to get to the top... then I hope you fail and I hope you don’t notice and I hope you get to see that game over screen several times... oh and I hope your last save is four hours back in that last town.... I’m kinda rambling there... shut up.
Anyway... we’re going to be sisters soon. So I don’t want to have to fight you. I don’t want to have to stand against Xander after how he stood with me during me whole Homeless Herald period... but I will. I’m not scared of taking on anybody, I not afraid of fighting for what I believe in. I once stood toe to toe against my own brother without backing down. I once ran down to the ring and challenged Dave Holland for a world title match... I’m not scared of anything, so don’t think just because Xander has your back... that I won’t come for you if you give me a good enough reason.
Just give me that one good reason, and see what I can do.
Just ask Emma, if you need a preview of what I’m capable of.
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[Zelda stares through a pair of binoculars at perhaps one of the fanciest restaurants you’ve ever seen and when the camera turns slightly to the right with see boyfriend Simon Daye along for the ride.]
Simon: Zelda... really?
Zelda: The first stage of operation parent trap is underway... I’m going to ruin this date...
Simon: You do realize that Parent Trap was about getting two people together right?
Zelda: Mmmm... shut up. Look, here we go.
[Gib is walking in through the front doors and the host behind the pedestal there begins looking through his reservation log book.]
Zelda: Heehee, I called and canceled the reservations. Now he’s going to be forced to take her to the next best place for him... the McDonalds across the street where that creepy foreign guy with four girlfriends works.
Simon: What makes you so sure?
Zelda: He’s way too cheap for anything else.
[We zoom back in and see Gib look confused, before he makes the guy lean in and then slips him a fifty. Zelda’s jaw drops as a waiter quickly escorts Gib and his date towards a table.]
Zelda: Are you kidding me!? He’s never not been cheap... what in the... no no, no bother. I came prepared, lets hit plan B Simon. Give me the phone.
[We cut to the inside where a nice waiter just doing his job walks towards Gib with a pad of paper in his hands. He walks right past Gib and towards a table positioned behind Gib and his date and taps the man on his shoulder.]
Waiter: Excuse me, Mr. Tibford Hamularo... the pharmacy called and said your AIDS medication is ready.
[The woman who is with Tibrod stands up from her chair and begins screaming and slaps poor Tibford across the face. Gib and his date look at the couple and begin snickering to each other as they watch the scene, smiling and seemingly very happy at this moment breaking the ice for him.]
Gib: You should get him one good time in the breadbasket too.
[The two laugh and we head back to Zelda who looks like she’s about to snap the binoculars in half.]
Zelda: What the... Tibford’s not even a real name!
Simon: I’m not even sure Gibford is....
Zelda: HUSH! That’s it... desperate measures are in order. Time to Mrs. Doubtfire this beotch.
[Zelda stands up from her hiding spot and begins heading towards the door.]
SImon: Zelda... Zelda wait... Zelda I don’t even know what the means. ZELDA.
[We cut away briefly to cut back and see Zelda and Simon inside the restaurant kitchen wearing chef hats and aprons. Zelda walks over to the plates that obviously belong to Gib and his date and comically pulls out a large thing of dried Habanero pepper flakes.]
Zelda: You know what this does to his stomach....
Simon: Way too well.
Zelda: If this doesn’t send her running away as fast as she can, nothing will.
[Zelda takes the thing, and dumps what has to be at least half the bottle into the food before pocketing the rest. Her and Simon turn around to try and exit the kitchen from the way they came. The dodge through the crowd of people and make their way into a safe position inside the restaurant to view the action. The plates are delivered and Gib takes his fork and gets a big forkful of his dinner.]
Gib: This better be good for those kind of ridiculous french prices.
[He takes a bite, suddenly grabs at his throat and begins beating his chest with his other hand. Zelda looks shocked as she jumps from her hiding space and her and Simon look to run towards Gib, but just as they do. His date jumps up, rushes behind him and quickly gives him the heimlich maneuver, causing him to spit out the food. Gib looks at her in shock.. and then smiles as he turns his head to the side.]
Gib: Nobody has ever touched me in that way before...
Date: Well you know... I’m a doctor, I have to know these things.
Gib: That was amazing....I don’t know what to... Zelda?! What are you doing here? You two on a date too!?
Zelda: **stammers** uh, uh, uh... yea....
Gib: Well why don’t you two pull up some chairs. I almost died, did you see that? That must have been pretty damn cool... but she, saved me.
Zelda: I don’t think so.
Gib: I’m buying.
Zelda: No thanks.
Gib: Come on, you can meet my date....
Zelda: I’M NOT TALKING TO THAT HOME WRECKER! LEAVE ME ALONE!
[Zelda turns around and storms out of the restaurant leaving Simon behind. He waves uneasily and then just turns and heads after her, the two making quite the scene. Gib stands back up to his feet and his date looks at him confused.]
Date: Is she ok? What’s wrong?
Gib: Yeah, I think she’s on her period.
[Fade to black.]
So...
Emma.
Why do we go through this every single time we face? Why do we always have to go on the big monologue about how much you don’t fear me and how you’ll never back down? I get it. I really do. You’re my Bowser, no matter how many times I beat you no matter how many times I walk into your castle and drop you on your head you’re going to get up, dust yourself off and keep coming unfazed. I got it. Ok? I know what you can do in the ring, I know that you’re a big tough man beast of a competitor and all that good stuff... it’s just.. my poor ears are just so sick of hearing about it, EVERY time. Please. spare. me.
Look. I’m Zelda Knite. I admit... I lost my way at one point, I took the wrong path and now I have to work myself back to where I was, just to get the respect I once had from the everybody, but in the end I’m still me. That’s been my whole campaign since I took off that mask, since I finally stopped feeling sorry for myself, it’s that I was getting back up and I was putting an end to all the marriage, baby, CEO, business woman crap that I was trying to do. I was going to be more like the Zelda everybody fell in love with and I think for the most part I’ve done that. I haven’t gotten back into the title picture... but I haven’t tried at all since that Road to Gold tournament.
Emma, I’ve told you this time and time again. Simply put, the difference between you and I since that very first starlets match has come down to simply one thing.... me being better than you.
What other way can I put it? I’m Ocarina of TIme and you’re Superman 64. I’m Super Metroid and you’re Shaq-Fu. I am the Empire Strikes Back and you’re The Phantom Menace.
It’s time you just accepted it...
life is a game...
and I will always have the high score.... and you will just always going to be chasing me.
Just accept it already.
This is my legend.