Post by Rob Diamond on Mar 19, 2013 9:59:27 GMT -6
OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ROB MOTHER TRUCKING DIAMOND IS BACK BABY AND HE IS BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!
BADDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND SEXIER THAN EVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This time last week I was nailing a hooker in Vegas thinking "Man o'man I wish I was rocking some jaws back in nCw" and little did I know my good friend and former Dark Master, Trent Helms was looking to get me back to doing what I do best....
ROCKING ****ING JAWS IN NCW!!!!!!!!!!!!
So here I am, roaring and ready to go. Ready to get back inside that squared circle and run that bitch like I never left. Get in there, slap that ass, make it my bitch and then run buck wild all over the damn place!!!!!
And I ask, who does nCw give me as my return opponent, Mike Laszlo.
Am I mad?
Disappointed?
A little turned off?
Nope. My junk is as rock hard as ever baby because I'm just pumped to get between those ropes and rip some **** up. Hell, you could of put me against Joe Everyman in my return match and I'd still be pumped. Cuz I mean, what kind of asshole wouldn't be happy with an easy win like a match against Joe Everyman?
......
Oh ****, sorry Mike. Hope I didn't insult you, after all that isn't really my thing...
I honestly feel bad for you brother. I know what it feels like to lose to a guy you should of had a guaranteed win against. Hell, my last title reign in nCw was probably one of the most embarrassing losses of my entire life and I entirely blame Andrew Jacobsen for it.
ENTIRELY.
But hey brother, don't feel bad. Everyone has a bad day and your's just happened to be on Joe's luckiest. I've done my research and I'm sure 9.9 times out of 10 you could beat Joe Everyman into a sniveling pile of baby ****. Last week just wasn't your week...
But uhh... This week ain't gonna be either man. Sorry. I hate to burst that idealistic bubble I'm sure you've got floating over your head right now but if you think for a second that your going to pin me, Rob Diamond, in my return match?
You must be retarded!
Cuz see, I don't play fair. I'm not stepping between those ropes to have an honorable match and see who the better man is all so I can earn a shot to maybe be in the Coliseum or a title picture or something in the near future.
I'm here to win, baby.
I'm here to make grown mother trucking men my bitches in the center of the ring by either laying their punk asses out with a Diamond Cutter or making them beg for mercy with the Sweet Dreams. Either which way, my penis still gets mad hard and I still walk away with a certified win. Don't take it personally Mike, I'd cripple anyone nCw put across from me right now. Cuz see, assuming you're able to walk come the end of the night and that your balls are still firmly between your legs, I'd love to shake hands and be Thunder Buddies for life...
After the match.
After I make you scream.
Cry.
And pin your shoulders to the mat.
After all that, thunder buddies, I swear.
Say what ya want Mike, anything to make yourself feel better. But between now and Sunday I want you to do me a favor and look into my history a little bit. Read the long list of friends and enemies I've utterly humiliated and desecrated in the middle of that ring just hear my name announced the winner at the end of the match and ask yourself...
Are you ready?
It was a day like any other....
EXCEPT IT WASN'T!
ROB DIAMOND IS BACK IN NCW AND EVERYBODY IS TOTALLY FREAKING OUT!!!!!
It's Sunday night, Collision is over and a shrill girly voice lets out a shriek as our scene opens on the Infamous One himself, Rob Diamond and his on again, off again partner in crime, Steve Awesome sprinting down the hall way. Before Rob has even a chance to brace himself, Steve tackles him into the wall.
Steve: ROB!!!!!
Rob: STEVE!!!!!
Steve: HOLY **** YOUR BACK!!!!
For like a quick second they hug, then realize the error of their ways, and the camera, pull back and do a sweet ass and totally manly fist bump.
Steve: Sup.
Rob: Yo.
Steve: Man, I knew Trent was going to give you a call but damn, I didn't expect to see you back like that same day.
Rob: What can I say? He has powerful friends.
Steve: Yeah, tell me about it. So what's up, lets grab a drink and talk about how awesome we are.
Rob: Hells to the yeah, lets...
Rob trails off for a second as he sees someone just behind Steve.
Steve: Earth to Rob, hey man-
Steve cocks and eyebrow and begins to slowly twist around to follow Rob's eye line.
Steve: What do ya... See... Ahhh... I'm going to give you guys a few seconds.
Steve pats Rob on the shoulder as he slinks away. Across from Rob now stands the ravishing Zelda Knite. The two of them haven't spoken a word since their pretty awful break up last year. Several long moments go by before either of them say anything to each other.
Rob: Uhhhh... Hey?
Zelda: Hey.
Rob: Long time no see.
Zelda: Back at ya.
AWKWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zelda: So you're back?
Rob: Seems that way.
Zelda: Cool... Heard you had a kid or something?
Rob: Yeah... Losing the custody thing though...
Zelda: That sucks.
Rob: Tell me about it...
Zelda clasps her hands in front of her and bites her lip a little as Rob begins rubbing the back of his neck. It's that weird moment where two exes aren't really sure what else to say to each other but aren't quite ready to walk away from this weird ass conversation. Finally Rob breaks the silence.
Rob: So... Wanna grab a coffee or something sometime?
Zelda: Yeah, sure, I'd like that.
Rob: Cool... Guess I'll see you around.
Zelda: Perhaps.
Zelda shoots Rob a little smile and continues on her way down the hall way of the arena. Rob just stands there for a few moments and watches her go, remembering how awesome things were before they got REALLY REALLY bad.
Rob: Allright...
He snaps out of his day dream.
Rob: Time to party.
Fade.
It's been a real long time since I've been able to say this inside an nCw promo but I'd be lying if I said this wasn't my favorite part.
Mike...
New Championship Wrestling...
Anyone who decides to get in between me and the top of the damn mountain...
..............
SUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ROB MOTHER TRUCKING DIAMOND IS BACK BABY AND HE IS BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!
BADDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND SEXIER THAN EVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This time last week I was nailing a hooker in Vegas thinking "Man o'man I wish I was rocking some jaws back in nCw" and little did I know my good friend and former Dark Master, Trent Helms was looking to get me back to doing what I do best....
ROCKING ****ING JAWS IN NCW!!!!!!!!!!!!
So here I am, roaring and ready to go. Ready to get back inside that squared circle and run that bitch like I never left. Get in there, slap that ass, make it my bitch and then run buck wild all over the damn place!!!!!
And I ask, who does nCw give me as my return opponent, Mike Laszlo.
Am I mad?
Disappointed?
A little turned off?
Nope. My junk is as rock hard as ever baby because I'm just pumped to get between those ropes and rip some **** up. Hell, you could of put me against Joe Everyman in my return match and I'd still be pumped. Cuz I mean, what kind of asshole wouldn't be happy with an easy win like a match against Joe Everyman?
......
Oh ****, sorry Mike. Hope I didn't insult you, after all that isn't really my thing...
I honestly feel bad for you brother. I know what it feels like to lose to a guy you should of had a guaranteed win against. Hell, my last title reign in nCw was probably one of the most embarrassing losses of my entire life and I entirely blame Andrew Jacobsen for it.
ENTIRELY.
But hey brother, don't feel bad. Everyone has a bad day and your's just happened to be on Joe's luckiest. I've done my research and I'm sure 9.9 times out of 10 you could beat Joe Everyman into a sniveling pile of baby ****. Last week just wasn't your week...
But uhh... This week ain't gonna be either man. Sorry. I hate to burst that idealistic bubble I'm sure you've got floating over your head right now but if you think for a second that your going to pin me, Rob Diamond, in my return match?
You must be retarded!
Cuz see, I don't play fair. I'm not stepping between those ropes to have an honorable match and see who the better man is all so I can earn a shot to maybe be in the Coliseum or a title picture or something in the near future.
I'm here to win, baby.
I'm here to make grown mother trucking men my bitches in the center of the ring by either laying their punk asses out with a Diamond Cutter or making them beg for mercy with the Sweet Dreams. Either which way, my penis still gets mad hard and I still walk away with a certified win. Don't take it personally Mike, I'd cripple anyone nCw put across from me right now. Cuz see, assuming you're able to walk come the end of the night and that your balls are still firmly between your legs, I'd love to shake hands and be Thunder Buddies for life...
After the match.
After I make you scream.
Cry.
And pin your shoulders to the mat.
After all that, thunder buddies, I swear.
Say what ya want Mike, anything to make yourself feel better. But between now and Sunday I want you to do me a favor and look into my history a little bit. Read the long list of friends and enemies I've utterly humiliated and desecrated in the middle of that ring just hear my name announced the winner at the end of the match and ask yourself...
Are you ready?
It was a day like any other....
EXCEPT IT WASN'T!
ROB DIAMOND IS BACK IN NCW AND EVERYBODY IS TOTALLY FREAKING OUT!!!!!
It's Sunday night, Collision is over and a shrill girly voice lets out a shriek as our scene opens on the Infamous One himself, Rob Diamond and his on again, off again partner in crime, Steve Awesome sprinting down the hall way. Before Rob has even a chance to brace himself, Steve tackles him into the wall.
Steve: ROB!!!!!
Rob: STEVE!!!!!
Steve: HOLY **** YOUR BACK!!!!
For like a quick second they hug, then realize the error of their ways, and the camera, pull back and do a sweet ass and totally manly fist bump.
Steve: Sup.
Rob: Yo.
Steve: Man, I knew Trent was going to give you a call but damn, I didn't expect to see you back like that same day.
Rob: What can I say? He has powerful friends.
Steve: Yeah, tell me about it. So what's up, lets grab a drink and talk about how awesome we are.
Rob: Hells to the yeah, lets...
Rob trails off for a second as he sees someone just behind Steve.
Steve: Earth to Rob, hey man-
Steve cocks and eyebrow and begins to slowly twist around to follow Rob's eye line.
Steve: What do ya... See... Ahhh... I'm going to give you guys a few seconds.
Steve pats Rob on the shoulder as he slinks away. Across from Rob now stands the ravishing Zelda Knite. The two of them haven't spoken a word since their pretty awful break up last year. Several long moments go by before either of them say anything to each other.
Rob: Uhhhh... Hey?
Zelda: Hey.
Rob: Long time no see.
Zelda: Back at ya.
AWKWARD!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zelda: So you're back?
Rob: Seems that way.
Zelda: Cool... Heard you had a kid or something?
Rob: Yeah... Losing the custody thing though...
Zelda: That sucks.
Rob: Tell me about it...
Zelda clasps her hands in front of her and bites her lip a little as Rob begins rubbing the back of his neck. It's that weird moment where two exes aren't really sure what else to say to each other but aren't quite ready to walk away from this weird ass conversation. Finally Rob breaks the silence.
Rob: So... Wanna grab a coffee or something sometime?
Zelda: Yeah, sure, I'd like that.
Rob: Cool... Guess I'll see you around.
Zelda: Perhaps.
Zelda shoots Rob a little smile and continues on her way down the hall way of the arena. Rob just stands there for a few moments and watches her go, remembering how awesome things were before they got REALLY REALLY bad.
Rob: Allright...
He snaps out of his day dream.
Rob: Time to party.
Fade.
It's been a real long time since I've been able to say this inside an nCw promo but I'd be lying if I said this wasn't my favorite part.
Mike...
New Championship Wrestling...
Anyone who decides to get in between me and the top of the damn mountain...
..............
SUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!