Post by Rob Diamond on Mar 26, 2013 13:36:26 GMT -6
Your mother trucking hero Rob Diamond comes bursting through the curtain backstage after picking up his first win back with New Championship Wrestling! His smile goes literally from ear to ear like the Joker in the Dark Knight as he struts his trucking stuff backstage. He walks right up to some random chick and slaps her on the ass. He turns and sees a mom with a baby and kisses that sucker. He turns again and-[/color]
"Hello, Rob."
His smile fades. His eyes become tiny slits in his head and he begins to imagine how it would feel to take a life. Scratch that. He'd love it. He begins thinking about how to dump a body and wonders if Ron Gibson is still around somewhere to give him a hand.
Rob: How the **** did you get back here, Jack?
Pan around to Jack, short blonde hair, douche bag looking goatee, wife beater under a beat ass leather coat and pair of torn up jeans and work boots. A little background, Jack is the boyfriend of Rob's babies mama. Long story short, they ain't friends.
Jack: Well, you see, what with all that extra cash Kate and I have after winning that custody battle I decided to buy tickets to Collision... In fact, to EVERY Collision from here on out. Gotta keep an eye on my investment.
Rob: Wow.
Jack: Wow?
Rob: Yeah, wow. I'm actually a little shocked my money made it past you and the whores track mark covered arms. Figured my money would go from my pocket to your veins faster than Kate got down on her knees.
Bam, that one hit home. Score one for Rob.
Jack: Heh, nice one Rob. Can I tell you a little secret?
Rob: What? Your gay? Yeah I figured that already.
Jack: Not exactly.
Jack took a few steps closer to Rob, Rob on the other hand eyed up a near by ball pean hammer he was considering using to give this guy a new air hole.
Jack: You know that night with Kate, the one you're so damn proud of?
Rob: Oh you mean when I made her call me Papi in some seedy motel on the side of the interstate? Yeah, I remember.
Jack: It wasn't by chance she was there, moron.
Rob: Huh?
Jack: She was waiting for you. Or someone like you. Some drunk, rich idiot looking to drown his sorrows in a woman's pants for the night. Just imagine how ****ing happy I was when she told me who picked her up from the bar? Not only were you loaded, you're a damn wrestler which means the cash will never stop flowing.
The look of anger mixed with murderous intent is almost indescribable. Rob's about to kill a bitch.
Jack: Oh what's wrong Rob? You didn't think she actually liked you, did you? That she cared about you? You were a mark Rob. That's it.
Rob: I'm probably going to regret this.
Jack: Excu-
That low life piece of **** doesn't even get the whole word out before Rob nails his punk ass with a vicious right hook. Jack flies backward, slams his head against the wall and falls to the floor, instinctively rolling into the fetal position. Rob just smiles as he walks away.
Rob: Send me the ****ing bill. Asshole.
Fade.
HOLY ****!!!!!!!!!!
Did you guys see Collision? HUH HUH HUH!!?? Did you see my match? MY BIG ASS RETURN MATCH AGAINST MIKE LASZLO!??
You know the one where he was going to make me tap out and send me back to the past where I belong?
YOU DID?!
Awesome. I'm glad, because I actually missed it. See, I sorta fell asleep out in the ring because I got so damn tired of KICKING THAT ARROGANT PIECE OF ****S ASS! So what happened? Who won? Did I tap out? Is my return already over before it's really begun?
Uh huh... Oh really? Well you don't say...
Looks Laszlo gets to eat a nice large slice of humble pie this morning and say to himself "DAMN! That mother trucker Rob Diamond has still got it! That old ass 27 year old former world champion who has beaten more legends in more companies than I have pubic hairs can still hand with the mid card of nCw." Yup, thats what you get to say Laszlo. And if you could please record that and send it to me I'd really appreciate it because I'm going to enjoy listening to it over and over and over again.
Now that I'm done gloating about my not so epic win over the not so impressive Mike Laszlo, I'd like to move on to something else he said last week.
Last week, he called me the past of nCw. He said that my time had come and gone and he was a part of nCw's relatively short future. Well, this goes out to anyone, absolutely anyone who feels the same as Mike Laszlo.
You don't want me here? You think my time has come and gone?
First, I don't care what you mother truckers think.
Second, you want me gone? ****ing make me go because I'm here to stay.
However that is a perfect lead in to my opponent for this week. A man who Laszlo lumped in with the "past" of nCw without actually considering what the hell he was saying.
Evening Shane. How you been?
Honestly, I don't really care. See, I remember you from my rise to the top. One of the little people who I probably stepped on as I climbed rung after rung on my way to the nCw world championship. Yup, I remember you well. Breaking your neck just to get a glimpse of my picture perfect body on top of the mountain, living the dream every professional wrestler dreams.
I remember you...
And what I remember isn't so good, Shane. I remember you being kind of a bumbling, giant oaf. I remember you running around with this vanilla midget Paul Star who was dying to walk a half a yard in my shoes. I remember you being on par with no man because no man could quite sink so low on the ladder.
Yup, I remember. Clearly you don't, however, as you managed to drag yourself out of the rat infested hole you call a gym to give nCw one more go before your veins burst from the rampant steroid abuse. congrats on that oh so impressive loss to that guy I never heard of and whose name I have already forgotten. Really brought me back to the old days when you were laying face up to nobodies like the Ace and Paul Star.
Did it bring you back?
Was the view of the lights from the ring mat everything you remembered it to be?
Was it just as special as ever?
I sure hope so Shane, because last week sure as hell isn't going to be the last time you're left counting the lights. See, I don't mean to sit here and harp on your loss last week, I just wanted to use it as a jumping off point. Because while I was gone from nCw, I didn't just sit at home and nurse my injuries. I sure as hell didn't become addicted to drugs and suck a little d for a little c.
I wrestled.
Anywhere and everywhere that would take me. I wrestled some of the greatest ***damn wrestlers you have never heard of because believe it or not, nCw isn't the only sandbox to play in. See, while you were sitting at home, feeling sorry for yourself, doing a line with a stinky ass hobo in a bus depot bathroom I was honing my skills, becoming even better than I already was all so I could come back here and run rough shod over pompous little bitches like yourself, Shane.
See, when you been to the top of the mountain you're not allowed to have off days.
You're not allowed excuses.
You're not allowed to fail.
So you can come out here and run your mouth about better men this, ring rust that or whatever you gotta say to make yourself feel better. Fact is, you haven't experienced the top of this company because you just aren't good enough. You weren't two years ago. You sure as hell aren't now. Because the true main eventers, the legends of this business, WE don't get rusty. We don't lose a step. We live, breath and die professional wrestling and when WE make our return to the company WE love...
WE make an impact.
That's why I can step into the ring with guys like Mike Laszlo, guys whose star has done nothing but rise since the day I walked out of nCw, I can step in the ring with him, out wrestle, out class him and make him tap the **** out in the center of the ring.
What can you do?
You gonna throw me around like some sort of Incredible Hulk wannabe? Good luck with that game plan asshole. I've wrestled men twice your size with a hundred times your talent and beaten them fair and square in the center of that ring with everything on the line. So Sunday, when I step in there against Shane "The Drug Addict" Hunt with nothing more than something to prove you better ***damn believe I'm going to hit you with everything I've got until you're left barely breathing in the center of the ring.
It's simple Shane, so listen. People around here love to hate me because I make the impossible a possible. I make your dreams into nightmares and your nightmares into reality. I make grown ass men like yourself beg for mercy in front of thousands upon thousands of screaming fans and I ***damn LOVE it.
Love it.
Nothing makes me harder than a full grown man with some hair on his chest begging me to stop before he loses the ability to feel from the neck down. And in those moments Shane, when you're begging me to just let go, wishing you hadn't wasted a year of your life in some stank ass gym shotting up in the bathroom you're going to realize what me and everyone else already knows.
You're a loser.
Always was.
Always will be.
And Sunday night the only victim in that ring is going to be you when I gold you down by the throat, bet right in your face and tell you to...
SUCK IT!!!!!!!!
"Hello, Rob."
His smile fades. His eyes become tiny slits in his head and he begins to imagine how it would feel to take a life. Scratch that. He'd love it. He begins thinking about how to dump a body and wonders if Ron Gibson is still around somewhere to give him a hand.
Rob: How the **** did you get back here, Jack?
Pan around to Jack, short blonde hair, douche bag looking goatee, wife beater under a beat ass leather coat and pair of torn up jeans and work boots. A little background, Jack is the boyfriend of Rob's babies mama. Long story short, they ain't friends.
Jack: Well, you see, what with all that extra cash Kate and I have after winning that custody battle I decided to buy tickets to Collision... In fact, to EVERY Collision from here on out. Gotta keep an eye on my investment.
Rob: Wow.
Jack: Wow?
Rob: Yeah, wow. I'm actually a little shocked my money made it past you and the whores track mark covered arms. Figured my money would go from my pocket to your veins faster than Kate got down on her knees.
Bam, that one hit home. Score one for Rob.
Jack: Heh, nice one Rob. Can I tell you a little secret?
Rob: What? Your gay? Yeah I figured that already.
Jack: Not exactly.
Jack took a few steps closer to Rob, Rob on the other hand eyed up a near by ball pean hammer he was considering using to give this guy a new air hole.
Jack: You know that night with Kate, the one you're so damn proud of?
Rob: Oh you mean when I made her call me Papi in some seedy motel on the side of the interstate? Yeah, I remember.
Jack: It wasn't by chance she was there, moron.
Rob: Huh?
Jack: She was waiting for you. Or someone like you. Some drunk, rich idiot looking to drown his sorrows in a woman's pants for the night. Just imagine how ****ing happy I was when she told me who picked her up from the bar? Not only were you loaded, you're a damn wrestler which means the cash will never stop flowing.
The look of anger mixed with murderous intent is almost indescribable. Rob's about to kill a bitch.
Jack: Oh what's wrong Rob? You didn't think she actually liked you, did you? That she cared about you? You were a mark Rob. That's it.
Rob: I'm probably going to regret this.
Jack: Excu-
That low life piece of **** doesn't even get the whole word out before Rob nails his punk ass with a vicious right hook. Jack flies backward, slams his head against the wall and falls to the floor, instinctively rolling into the fetal position. Rob just smiles as he walks away.
Rob: Send me the ****ing bill. Asshole.
Fade.
HOLY ****!!!!!!!!!!
Did you guys see Collision? HUH HUH HUH!!?? Did you see my match? MY BIG ASS RETURN MATCH AGAINST MIKE LASZLO!??
You know the one where he was going to make me tap out and send me back to the past where I belong?
YOU DID?!
Awesome. I'm glad, because I actually missed it. See, I sorta fell asleep out in the ring because I got so damn tired of KICKING THAT ARROGANT PIECE OF ****S ASS! So what happened? Who won? Did I tap out? Is my return already over before it's really begun?
Uh huh... Oh really? Well you don't say...
Looks Laszlo gets to eat a nice large slice of humble pie this morning and say to himself "DAMN! That mother trucker Rob Diamond has still got it! That old ass 27 year old former world champion who has beaten more legends in more companies than I have pubic hairs can still hand with the mid card of nCw." Yup, thats what you get to say Laszlo. And if you could please record that and send it to me I'd really appreciate it because I'm going to enjoy listening to it over and over and over again.
Now that I'm done gloating about my not so epic win over the not so impressive Mike Laszlo, I'd like to move on to something else he said last week.
Last week, he called me the past of nCw. He said that my time had come and gone and he was a part of nCw's relatively short future. Well, this goes out to anyone, absolutely anyone who feels the same as Mike Laszlo.
You don't want me here? You think my time has come and gone?
First, I don't care what you mother truckers think.
Second, you want me gone? ****ing make me go because I'm here to stay.
However that is a perfect lead in to my opponent for this week. A man who Laszlo lumped in with the "past" of nCw without actually considering what the hell he was saying.
Evening Shane. How you been?
Honestly, I don't really care. See, I remember you from my rise to the top. One of the little people who I probably stepped on as I climbed rung after rung on my way to the nCw world championship. Yup, I remember you well. Breaking your neck just to get a glimpse of my picture perfect body on top of the mountain, living the dream every professional wrestler dreams.
I remember you...
And what I remember isn't so good, Shane. I remember you being kind of a bumbling, giant oaf. I remember you running around with this vanilla midget Paul Star who was dying to walk a half a yard in my shoes. I remember you being on par with no man because no man could quite sink so low on the ladder.
Yup, I remember. Clearly you don't, however, as you managed to drag yourself out of the rat infested hole you call a gym to give nCw one more go before your veins burst from the rampant steroid abuse. congrats on that oh so impressive loss to that guy I never heard of and whose name I have already forgotten. Really brought me back to the old days when you were laying face up to nobodies like the Ace and Paul Star.
Did it bring you back?
Was the view of the lights from the ring mat everything you remembered it to be?
Was it just as special as ever?
I sure hope so Shane, because last week sure as hell isn't going to be the last time you're left counting the lights. See, I don't mean to sit here and harp on your loss last week, I just wanted to use it as a jumping off point. Because while I was gone from nCw, I didn't just sit at home and nurse my injuries. I sure as hell didn't become addicted to drugs and suck a little d for a little c.
I wrestled.
Anywhere and everywhere that would take me. I wrestled some of the greatest ***damn wrestlers you have never heard of because believe it or not, nCw isn't the only sandbox to play in. See, while you were sitting at home, feeling sorry for yourself, doing a line with a stinky ass hobo in a bus depot bathroom I was honing my skills, becoming even better than I already was all so I could come back here and run rough shod over pompous little bitches like yourself, Shane.
See, when you been to the top of the mountain you're not allowed to have off days.
You're not allowed excuses.
You're not allowed to fail.
So you can come out here and run your mouth about better men this, ring rust that or whatever you gotta say to make yourself feel better. Fact is, you haven't experienced the top of this company because you just aren't good enough. You weren't two years ago. You sure as hell aren't now. Because the true main eventers, the legends of this business, WE don't get rusty. We don't lose a step. We live, breath and die professional wrestling and when WE make our return to the company WE love...
WE make an impact.
That's why I can step into the ring with guys like Mike Laszlo, guys whose star has done nothing but rise since the day I walked out of nCw, I can step in the ring with him, out wrestle, out class him and make him tap the **** out in the center of the ring.
What can you do?
You gonna throw me around like some sort of Incredible Hulk wannabe? Good luck with that game plan asshole. I've wrestled men twice your size with a hundred times your talent and beaten them fair and square in the center of that ring with everything on the line. So Sunday, when I step in there against Shane "The Drug Addict" Hunt with nothing more than something to prove you better ***damn believe I'm going to hit you with everything I've got until you're left barely breathing in the center of the ring.
It's simple Shane, so listen. People around here love to hate me because I make the impossible a possible. I make your dreams into nightmares and your nightmares into reality. I make grown ass men like yourself beg for mercy in front of thousands upon thousands of screaming fans and I ***damn LOVE it.
Love it.
Nothing makes me harder than a full grown man with some hair on his chest begging me to stop before he loses the ability to feel from the neck down. And in those moments Shane, when you're begging me to just let go, wishing you hadn't wasted a year of your life in some stank ass gym shotting up in the bathroom you're going to realize what me and everyone else already knows.
You're a loser.
Always was.
Always will be.
And Sunday night the only victim in that ring is going to be you when I gold you down by the throat, bet right in your face and tell you to...
SUCK IT!!!!!!!!