Post by Steve Awesome on Jan 23, 2008 12:36:04 GMT -6
Creak. Creak. Creak. The sound made by movement of this old lady the camera has decided to focus on. Even with the aid of her walker she still has a hard enough time getting from point A to point B. Don’t even ask about point C. That’s where the bus comes in. Everyday she walks the few blocks from her home to the bus stop to travel to her grandchildren’s house. And she is almost there. Just a few more steps. Man, this old lady is brave. It’s January. It’s cold and rainy. Things just aren’t looking good for this geriatric female. Oh but hey, at least she finally made it to the bus stop. You have got to give her that. She takes a seat on the bench, and now begins to patiently wait for the bus.
But the bus doesn’t come. Instead, a long black limo drives up into a puddle soaking the poor innocent old lady with rain water, “unbeknownst” to the occupants of the vehicle. Who are these occupants? Do you really need to guess? This limo contains only the hottest abs in the main event today and some quality TNA (if that even exists). The door swings open and out steps Steve Awesome. The blast of class himself. Dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a pink polo t-shirt. Collar popped of course. His hair is pulled back thanks to a black bandanna and as always he is sporting his trusty aviator shades. Before Awesome can even make it two steps the quality TNA calls out at him.
Layla: “Wait. What am I supposed to do?”
Awesome shrugs.
Awesome: “I don’t know. Go buy some shoes or something. Chicks like that stuff right?”
Layla develops a giant smile. She turns back in her seat so that she is facing forward as she yells to the driver.
Layla: “You heard the man. Drive!”
The limo driver obliges and the Limo speeds off and as Awesome turns around he notices the old lady who was sitting on the bench and all wet. He shudders at the thought.
Awesome: “I know I’m sexy but this is just ridiculous!”
He pops his collar again. Accepting the “compliment” regardless of the all kinds of wrong it represented. The old lady just sort of stares at him.
Awesome: “Well um…..I’m just gonna go in here now. Remind me to give you Trent Helm’s phone number on my way out.”
Old Lady: “You bet your ass I will.”
The old lady starts to lick her lips as she thinks about a naked Trent Helms. Apparently old ladies think Trent is sexy. Who knew? But I do know that an old lady doing DX cross chops and licking her lips suggestively is sign to run away, and Awesome does.
We fade back in as Steve Awesome is entering some kind of building. The floor was a tiled gray and the walls were a weird maroon color. Ugly. And the look on Steve’s face represents that opinion. Steve almost seemed to bounce out due to his personal bright style. But he shrugs and walks forward.
Awesome: “Wow. Long line.”
He says as he walks up to a young gentlemen standing behind another person who is standing behind another person who is standing behind another person who is stand…..you know what….I’m sure you get it. Steve taps the guy on the shoulder.
Awesome: “Hey pal. Is this the start of the line?”
Guy: “No. It’s the back of it chief.”
Oh. So that’s what sarcasm feels like. Ouch. The guy turns around.
Guy: “Oh hey, wait a minute! You’re Steve Awesome!”
Awesome: “Guilty.”
Guy: “You know, you really do have the best abs in the main event. You should do a work out DVD.”
Steve ponders the idea.
Guy: “Man. I know your supposed to be this big cocky guy. But behind all that I really enjoy your ring work. Your always finding new ways to pull off your moves.”
Awesome: They don’t call me the innovator of Awesomeness for nothing.
Guy: I’ve been a big fan of yours for awhile now. I’ve followed your career since CWA. Even XHF. US Champion for four months. Good stuff man.
Awesome: Yup. I’m pretty good, aren’t I.
Guy: Yeah. Your way good. What are you doing in a dump like this?
Awesome: “I’m proving a point.”
Guy: Well you can cut in front of me, dude. I’m sure these other people wouldn’t mind either.
Steve waves off the idea.
Awesome: “Nah. I’m good.”
The fan shrugs his shoulders.
Guy: Okay then. Suit yourself.
Guy turns back to face forward as everybody in the line moves up some. Awesome moves up in the line as well and just starts to stand there with his hands in his pocket. That is until he notices the camera that had been filming him all this time. I know you folks watching at home would notice a camera had it been following you everywhere, but Steve Awesome is so used to cameras following him he sometimes forgets that they are there.
“Oh. Didn’t notice you there. I was just waiting patiently in line.”
He says and then gives his nose a scratch.
“I know what you’re thinking. You were expecting me to be all over the offer to jump ahead of the line, weren’t you? Hell, I bet you thought I would just sort of waltz in here, say something obnoxious and just cut in line without being offered. Just kick whatever chump in the front in the face and take his spot, just like I’ve been claiming I will do to Manson this Sunday. Normally I would. I mean violence does the trick sometimes, you know? Violence garners results. And in this game it’s the results that matter. Be sure to write that down folks.”
The line moves forward again as Awesome travels forward. His black DC’s with pink laces rip off the floor like Velcro as he does so.
“I could of used violence. But sometimes you don’t even need that. I mean you herd the guy in front of me. I’ve been around for awhile now. It may not seem like it to you nCw fans, but good old Steve Awesome is a prominent competitor. Known throughout a good chunk of the world for binging able to bring it in that ring. I’ve been a world champion before. I’ve main evented pay per views. Competed in big matches and came out on top. I held the XHF United States championship for almost four months. Pretty impressive I think. Much better than Manson and his National Title reign. Two of them and both add up to a measly one month a piece? And Manson is supposed to be tough competition at Cross Roads? Pfft…yeah and Roxi doesn’t have crabs.”
Steve chuckles to himself, as once again he moves up in the line.
“I know, I know. Any time anybody ever mentions past attributes you get the same old shpeal. What you do in other companies doesn’t matter here. But I sort of beg to differ on that. It’s not about what titles you’ve won or what matches you’ve won in, but you have to admit you do build a name for yourself. I’ve built a steady name for myself in XHF. I made one in TXA. I made one in CWA. OWC, EWO. All these companies will never forget my name. And that name that I made for myself will always travel faster than you do. When I was contacted about coming to nCw I could have got a pass right to the front of the line, because some boys in the back may have or may not have whispered good things about me. I could have used my name to get a great debut angle and showed up at the world champion’s doorstep looking for a fight. But I chose not to. I chose a different route.”
Perfect timing strikes again as Awesome steps forward during his pause.
“I chose to step in line. Much like the one I’m standing in now. I chose to start from the bottom and work my way up. And whether you love me or hate me, Jack, you can’t say that I haven’t earned my way here. I’ve beaten everybody that has been put in my way. I’m undefeated. The dragon of vengeance can only look forward. He never looks back at the path of destruction he leaves. I know you’ve probably herd that stuff a thousand times from me, but it’s true. I mean last Sunday I pinned Davey Ortega. Your little boyfriend, Jack. And I’ve already left you laying in a pool of your own blood Manson. Whose to say I can’t do it again? Better yet, whose going to stop me from doing it again? You? I don’t even have to pin you to take MY gold from you this Sunday. Just do something that I’ve already done in a match that you wanted. You pretty much screwed yourself there, buddy.”
Steve grins. The goose bumps line his body. As his mind wanders not to find more words to speak but the war he was set to partake in at Cross Roads. First blood against the Maniac? Some would say that’s career suicide, but then again, The Maniac hasn’t been very impressive lately. And Awesome has been on a roll.
“And so I waited in line. Waiting for my opportunity. It’s fast approaching Jack and I’m sure your counting the days. It’s been easy for you so far, but now, this Sunday you’ll be facing a real challenge. A real threat. A REAL National Champion. And if you think that after waiting for as long as I did for this opportunity that I’m just going to let it slip through my fingers? No, I won’t. I can’t. I have to make you bleed this Sunday, Jack. I want to make you bleed, Jack. I need to beat you within an inch of your life. Rip the flesh off your skin with barbed wire if I have too. There is no next time for me Jack.”
Awesome steps forward for perhaps the last time as it appears that he is the last in line.
“And that makes me VERY dangerous to you. Your title and your blood will be mine. And if you didn’t know that by now……prepare to be Awesomely Informed!”
Awesome glares into the camera. As if he had been staring at Manson this whole time.
“Next?”
Comes from off camera. Awesome steps forward once more.
Yes. I’ll have a McSkillet combo. Yeah, those bastards are delicious!”
Awesome turns around and notices the the camera is still pointing towards him and quickly goes back to the evil glare he had set for Jack Manson as the scene slowly goes to.....
Static
But the bus doesn’t come. Instead, a long black limo drives up into a puddle soaking the poor innocent old lady with rain water, “unbeknownst” to the occupants of the vehicle. Who are these occupants? Do you really need to guess? This limo contains only the hottest abs in the main event today and some quality TNA (if that even exists). The door swings open and out steps Steve Awesome. The blast of class himself. Dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a pink polo t-shirt. Collar popped of course. His hair is pulled back thanks to a black bandanna and as always he is sporting his trusty aviator shades. Before Awesome can even make it two steps the quality TNA calls out at him.
Layla: “Wait. What am I supposed to do?”
Awesome shrugs.
Awesome: “I don’t know. Go buy some shoes or something. Chicks like that stuff right?”
Layla develops a giant smile. She turns back in her seat so that she is facing forward as she yells to the driver.
Layla: “You heard the man. Drive!”
The limo driver obliges and the Limo speeds off and as Awesome turns around he notices the old lady who was sitting on the bench and all wet. He shudders at the thought.
Awesome: “I know I’m sexy but this is just ridiculous!”
He pops his collar again. Accepting the “compliment” regardless of the all kinds of wrong it represented. The old lady just sort of stares at him.
Awesome: “Well um…..I’m just gonna go in here now. Remind me to give you Trent Helm’s phone number on my way out.”
Old Lady: “You bet your ass I will.”
The old lady starts to lick her lips as she thinks about a naked Trent Helms. Apparently old ladies think Trent is sexy. Who knew? But I do know that an old lady doing DX cross chops and licking her lips suggestively is sign to run away, and Awesome does.
We fade back in as Steve Awesome is entering some kind of building. The floor was a tiled gray and the walls were a weird maroon color. Ugly. And the look on Steve’s face represents that opinion. Steve almost seemed to bounce out due to his personal bright style. But he shrugs and walks forward.
Awesome: “Wow. Long line.”
He says as he walks up to a young gentlemen standing behind another person who is standing behind another person who is standing behind another person who is stand…..you know what….I’m sure you get it. Steve taps the guy on the shoulder.
Awesome: “Hey pal. Is this the start of the line?”
Guy: “No. It’s the back of it chief.”
Oh. So that’s what sarcasm feels like. Ouch. The guy turns around.
Guy: “Oh hey, wait a minute! You’re Steve Awesome!”
Awesome: “Guilty.”
Guy: “You know, you really do have the best abs in the main event. You should do a work out DVD.”
Steve ponders the idea.
Guy: “Man. I know your supposed to be this big cocky guy. But behind all that I really enjoy your ring work. Your always finding new ways to pull off your moves.”
Awesome: They don’t call me the innovator of Awesomeness for nothing.
Guy: I’ve been a big fan of yours for awhile now. I’ve followed your career since CWA. Even XHF. US Champion for four months. Good stuff man.
Awesome: Yup. I’m pretty good, aren’t I.
Guy: Yeah. Your way good. What are you doing in a dump like this?
Awesome: “I’m proving a point.”
Guy: Well you can cut in front of me, dude. I’m sure these other people wouldn’t mind either.
Steve waves off the idea.
Awesome: “Nah. I’m good.”
The fan shrugs his shoulders.
Guy: Okay then. Suit yourself.
Guy turns back to face forward as everybody in the line moves up some. Awesome moves up in the line as well and just starts to stand there with his hands in his pocket. That is until he notices the camera that had been filming him all this time. I know you folks watching at home would notice a camera had it been following you everywhere, but Steve Awesome is so used to cameras following him he sometimes forgets that they are there.
“Oh. Didn’t notice you there. I was just waiting patiently in line.”
He says and then gives his nose a scratch.
“I know what you’re thinking. You were expecting me to be all over the offer to jump ahead of the line, weren’t you? Hell, I bet you thought I would just sort of waltz in here, say something obnoxious and just cut in line without being offered. Just kick whatever chump in the front in the face and take his spot, just like I’ve been claiming I will do to Manson this Sunday. Normally I would. I mean violence does the trick sometimes, you know? Violence garners results. And in this game it’s the results that matter. Be sure to write that down folks.”
The line moves forward again as Awesome travels forward. His black DC’s with pink laces rip off the floor like Velcro as he does so.
“I could of used violence. But sometimes you don’t even need that. I mean you herd the guy in front of me. I’ve been around for awhile now. It may not seem like it to you nCw fans, but good old Steve Awesome is a prominent competitor. Known throughout a good chunk of the world for binging able to bring it in that ring. I’ve been a world champion before. I’ve main evented pay per views. Competed in big matches and came out on top. I held the XHF United States championship for almost four months. Pretty impressive I think. Much better than Manson and his National Title reign. Two of them and both add up to a measly one month a piece? And Manson is supposed to be tough competition at Cross Roads? Pfft…yeah and Roxi doesn’t have crabs.”
Steve chuckles to himself, as once again he moves up in the line.
“I know, I know. Any time anybody ever mentions past attributes you get the same old shpeal. What you do in other companies doesn’t matter here. But I sort of beg to differ on that. It’s not about what titles you’ve won or what matches you’ve won in, but you have to admit you do build a name for yourself. I’ve built a steady name for myself in XHF. I made one in TXA. I made one in CWA. OWC, EWO. All these companies will never forget my name. And that name that I made for myself will always travel faster than you do. When I was contacted about coming to nCw I could have got a pass right to the front of the line, because some boys in the back may have or may not have whispered good things about me. I could have used my name to get a great debut angle and showed up at the world champion’s doorstep looking for a fight. But I chose not to. I chose a different route.”
Perfect timing strikes again as Awesome steps forward during his pause.
“I chose to step in line. Much like the one I’m standing in now. I chose to start from the bottom and work my way up. And whether you love me or hate me, Jack, you can’t say that I haven’t earned my way here. I’ve beaten everybody that has been put in my way. I’m undefeated. The dragon of vengeance can only look forward. He never looks back at the path of destruction he leaves. I know you’ve probably herd that stuff a thousand times from me, but it’s true. I mean last Sunday I pinned Davey Ortega. Your little boyfriend, Jack. And I’ve already left you laying in a pool of your own blood Manson. Whose to say I can’t do it again? Better yet, whose going to stop me from doing it again? You? I don’t even have to pin you to take MY gold from you this Sunday. Just do something that I’ve already done in a match that you wanted. You pretty much screwed yourself there, buddy.”
Steve grins. The goose bumps line his body. As his mind wanders not to find more words to speak but the war he was set to partake in at Cross Roads. First blood against the Maniac? Some would say that’s career suicide, but then again, The Maniac hasn’t been very impressive lately. And Awesome has been on a roll.
“And so I waited in line. Waiting for my opportunity. It’s fast approaching Jack and I’m sure your counting the days. It’s been easy for you so far, but now, this Sunday you’ll be facing a real challenge. A real threat. A REAL National Champion. And if you think that after waiting for as long as I did for this opportunity that I’m just going to let it slip through my fingers? No, I won’t. I can’t. I have to make you bleed this Sunday, Jack. I want to make you bleed, Jack. I need to beat you within an inch of your life. Rip the flesh off your skin with barbed wire if I have too. There is no next time for me Jack.”
Awesome steps forward for perhaps the last time as it appears that he is the last in line.
“And that makes me VERY dangerous to you. Your title and your blood will be mine. And if you didn’t know that by now……prepare to be Awesomely Informed!”
Awesome glares into the camera. As if he had been staring at Manson this whole time.
“Next?”
Comes from off camera. Awesome steps forward once more.
Yes. I’ll have a McSkillet combo. Yeah, those bastards are delicious!”
Awesome turns around and notices the the camera is still pointing towards him and quickly goes back to the evil glare he had set for Jack Manson as the scene slowly goes to.....
Static
