Post by Rob Diamond on Apr 2, 2013 12:18:38 GMT -6
Hey Shane...
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Oh man, did you eat a fat sack of your own **** when I beat your ass in the middle of the ring Sunday night, now didn't you?
Tell me Shane, when Rob the "Runaway Failure" whipped your Hulk looking ass like the red headed pill popping, beer swelling sack of living **** that you are, HOW DID IT FEEL? Did it feel like the impact you were trying to make or did it feel like JUST ANOTHER DAY AT THE OFFICE!?
I'm guessing it felt like just another day for you Shane. I'm guessing you didn't even notice a damn difference from your days of shooting up in back allies while "drowning your sorrows" in a nice cheap bottle of piss gross whiskey. I bet it felt like any other day where Shane Hunt wakes up, looks in the mirror and sees that big ugly ****ing loser staring him right back in the face.
But hey Shane, don't be so hard on yourself. After all, I did spend the last year wrestling Spike Kane, Jake Keeton and Dexter Davis in some assholes backyard.
I mean, what the hell do I even know about wrestling?
What does on little old World title mean or all those wins over guys in the hall of fame or the longest X-Division title reign ever even mean anymore when compare to your MASSIVE ****ING ARMS!!! HOLY **** HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE THINGS!!!!
Like I said at the beginning Shane...
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
We open on Rob, sitting there in his usual dress, black v neck, jeans, leather jacket, just looking as sexy as all hell. I mean like especially sexy today. Sexy enough to turn straight men gayer than Shane Hunt on a weekend bender with that Hobo sitting outside of Deny's at 3 AM.
He's sitting in what appears to be the interrogation room from the TV sow Psych, across from a man who looks strikingly similar to Lassie. If you don't get the reference then don't even bother talking to me because you're not human. You're a zombie and Rick should have killed your ass when he had the chance. (TWO REFERENCES!!!!)
Lassie?: Do you know why you're here today, Mr. Diamond?
Rob: Ummmmm.... I'm guessing because I assaulted some asshole.
The Lassie looking guy jumps up from his chair looking all accusing like.
Lassie: YOU'RE HERE BECAUSE YOU ASSU.... Well yeah, because you assaulted someone. BUT IT'S MORE THAN THAT!
Rob: I'm listening.
Lassie: Your're here because Ms. Grey has issued a restraining order-
Rob: A RESTRAINING ORDER!? What about my kid??
Lassie: Mr. Diamond, if you'd please relax we'd get to that/ She has issued a restraining order against you as has Mr. Smith. I've also spoken with your Attorney, Mr. Happy and the judge who has been over seeing your case and as of this moment all your fatherly rights and privileges are being revoked.
Without even thinking Rob flips the mother trucking table over and scares the **** out of the guy who looks like Lassie from Psych. The Lassie look a like glares at Rob for a few moments while Rob's chest heaves with anger.
Rob: ****ing.... Kidding.... Me...
Lassie: I'm afraid not, Mr. Diamond. You're also being ordered by the judge to take anger management courses at least once a week as well as seek the help of a psychiatrist. Unfortunately Mr. Diamond, the world is not your own personal professional wrestling ring. You cannot solve every problem with a fist.
Rob: Sounds like what a pussy would say...
Lassie: Excuse me?
Rob: Nothing.
The Lassie look a like stands up from his chair and heads to the door. He looks back at the little tornado of rage and slightly grins as he steps out, however the door doesn't close right away and we can hear him speaking to someone.
Lassie: Are you sure you want to go in there ma'am?
: I'm sure.
The door swings back open and there stands the black haired, blue eyed Katy Grey, the one night stand who became the mother of Rob's kid.
Katy: Hey... Rob.
The contempt is clear.
Katy: I just wanted to say...
She looks at the floor, the rage etched across his face is nearly enough to kill someone.
Katy: I'm....
Rob: Don't bother. Just tell me her name.
She doesn't look up or even respond. She actually looks a little sad about all this as she heads back to the door. Rob glares daggers, knives and all sorts of munitions into the back of her skull as she stops in the open door way. Looking at the floor she says one word before she leaves.
Katy: Hope.
Fade.
HOLY EFF'IN ****!!!!!!!!!
Andrew "I'm more of a Boy Scout then Superman" Jacobsen...
Brother, I've missed you.
And I have got to say CONGRATU FREAKING LATIONS!!!! Former World Champion? That's awesome man. And I'm not evening messing around. That is something I always knew you were capable of but never ever expected to happen. I always assumed some dick head like myself would purposely end your career before you did something as sweet as win the World title.
I've gotta say, Andy, you made momma proud.
You know, before I left, you and I were trying to put our differences aside and make a man out of you. Steve and I took you under our wing and tried to mold you in our image. And in the end, after I left, you didn't become champion by listening to us try and change you, you did it by being yourself man. And that is something you shouldn't ever, and I mean EVER forget about.
**** Verona and Ace and any other smug ass piece of a crap that steps up to you and tells you to change. People like that, people like Steve and I? We're just pissed off that we couldn't do what you could. We couldn't climb the mountain without taking some short cuts. We couldn't get it done without a lead pipe or some outside assistance. We couldn't face every obstacle head on, take our losses like men and pick ourselves back up.
We couldn't do it like you.
I know, I know, you're all like "What?" and Huh?" and I'm a little surprised too Andy. I mean, when I came into nCw, I was just like you and I tried to do it your way. But I couldn't. I couldn't be the good guy. I couldn't smile and take my licks. It got to me and in the end I snapped and I broke every single body that got in between me and my dream until I was standing on top of the mountain. But it's like you always said Andy, you can't make those kinds of personal sacarifices and expect to walk away unscathed. My road to the top cost me. It's cost Steve. Ace. Anyone who walked the path of the villain knows what it's like to truly lose everything they have...
So that's why when I heard what you did, how you didn't change a ***damn thing, I smiled because you proved everyone, including myself wrong.
Forget what everyone else says, you want the truth?
Everyone wants to be Andrew Jacobsen.
No one enters this business planning on being an asshole who ruins lives. No one is prepared to step over friends and loved ones to accomplish their dreams. This business corrupts people. Ruins people. It takes people like you and chews them up and spits them out and turns them into twisted, evil little sadistic bastards with no concern for their fellow man.
But not you.
And that's awesome...
But here's the ****ty part Andy. The part you've been waiting this whole promo for...
I'm not you.
I couldn't and cant' do it your way...
I can't grin and bear the weight of the world...
I've got to lie and cheat and steal my way back to the top of this company because in the end being the best wrestler in the whole damn world means absolutely jack **** if you're not the world champion.
That's why I didn't bother making a big return. I didn't make a spectacle of myself. Because it doesn't matter. Who cares if Rob Diamond is back if I'm not right there in the main event fighting for the world title?
Not me.
Not you.
And as far as matches like this go or last week or even my re-debut with the company? The only way they mean a damn thing is if I walk away with the win and one step closer to everything I lost when I left this place.
See Andy, I've already admitted I can't do it your way. I can't just wrestle my best and be happy with the results or where this company decides to put me. Let's be honest here, I'm sure there are more than a few people unhappy to see me here and even more feeling like i'm aiming to take their place on the roster.
Well tough **** because I am.
I'm looking to take you on, take you out, take your spot and then keep moving on up. I'm looking to do it the only way I know how. The only way that has ever worked for me. By stepping on and over every single person I give a damn about until I hold the World Championship in my hands once again.
I love you Andy, you're one of my best friend even if I treat you like **** every time we hang out and make you pay the bill...
But Sunday...
Your're going to be standing between me and the top of this company.
That's a bad mother trucking place to be.
Don't take it personally Andy, this is what wrestling has made me. Cold. Calculating. Dangerous.
Besides, deep down, I know this is what you've always wanted, one more chance to show the world that you're better than me. One more chance to show the world that you don't need to be InFamous to be respected. One more chance to prove me wrong about every bad thing I've ever said about you.
So lets put any friendship we may have formed when we were tag champions aside and do this.
Let's rip each other to pieces out there...
Just don't be all surprised and **** when I crush your nuts...
Again...
Suck it.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Oh man, did you eat a fat sack of your own **** when I beat your ass in the middle of the ring Sunday night, now didn't you?
Tell me Shane, when Rob the "Runaway Failure" whipped your Hulk looking ass like the red headed pill popping, beer swelling sack of living **** that you are, HOW DID IT FEEL? Did it feel like the impact you were trying to make or did it feel like JUST ANOTHER DAY AT THE OFFICE!?
I'm guessing it felt like just another day for you Shane. I'm guessing you didn't even notice a damn difference from your days of shooting up in back allies while "drowning your sorrows" in a nice cheap bottle of piss gross whiskey. I bet it felt like any other day where Shane Hunt wakes up, looks in the mirror and sees that big ugly ****ing loser staring him right back in the face.
But hey Shane, don't be so hard on yourself. After all, I did spend the last year wrestling Spike Kane, Jake Keeton and Dexter Davis in some assholes backyard.
I mean, what the hell do I even know about wrestling?
What does on little old World title mean or all those wins over guys in the hall of fame or the longest X-Division title reign ever even mean anymore when compare to your MASSIVE ****ING ARMS!!! HOLY **** HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE THINGS!!!!
Like I said at the beginning Shane...
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
We open on Rob, sitting there in his usual dress, black v neck, jeans, leather jacket, just looking as sexy as all hell. I mean like especially sexy today. Sexy enough to turn straight men gayer than Shane Hunt on a weekend bender with that Hobo sitting outside of Deny's at 3 AM.
He's sitting in what appears to be the interrogation room from the TV sow Psych, across from a man who looks strikingly similar to Lassie. If you don't get the reference then don't even bother talking to me because you're not human. You're a zombie and Rick should have killed your ass when he had the chance. (TWO REFERENCES!!!!)
Lassie?: Do you know why you're here today, Mr. Diamond?
Rob: Ummmmm.... I'm guessing because I assaulted some asshole.
The Lassie looking guy jumps up from his chair looking all accusing like.
Lassie: YOU'RE HERE BECAUSE YOU ASSU.... Well yeah, because you assaulted someone. BUT IT'S MORE THAN THAT!
Rob: I'm listening.
Lassie: Your're here because Ms. Grey has issued a restraining order-
Rob: A RESTRAINING ORDER!? What about my kid??
Lassie: Mr. Diamond, if you'd please relax we'd get to that/ She has issued a restraining order against you as has Mr. Smith. I've also spoken with your Attorney, Mr. Happy and the judge who has been over seeing your case and as of this moment all your fatherly rights and privileges are being revoked.
Without even thinking Rob flips the mother trucking table over and scares the **** out of the guy who looks like Lassie from Psych. The Lassie look a like glares at Rob for a few moments while Rob's chest heaves with anger.
Rob: ****ing.... Kidding.... Me...
Lassie: I'm afraid not, Mr. Diamond. You're also being ordered by the judge to take anger management courses at least once a week as well as seek the help of a psychiatrist. Unfortunately Mr. Diamond, the world is not your own personal professional wrestling ring. You cannot solve every problem with a fist.
Rob: Sounds like what a pussy would say...
Lassie: Excuse me?
Rob: Nothing.
The Lassie look a like stands up from his chair and heads to the door. He looks back at the little tornado of rage and slightly grins as he steps out, however the door doesn't close right away and we can hear him speaking to someone.
Lassie: Are you sure you want to go in there ma'am?
: I'm sure.
The door swings back open and there stands the black haired, blue eyed Katy Grey, the one night stand who became the mother of Rob's kid.
Katy: Hey... Rob.
The contempt is clear.
Katy: I just wanted to say...
She looks at the floor, the rage etched across his face is nearly enough to kill someone.
Katy: I'm....
Rob: Don't bother. Just tell me her name.
She doesn't look up or even respond. She actually looks a little sad about all this as she heads back to the door. Rob glares daggers, knives and all sorts of munitions into the back of her skull as she stops in the open door way. Looking at the floor she says one word before she leaves.
Katy: Hope.
Fade.
HOLY EFF'IN ****!!!!!!!!!
Andrew "I'm more of a Boy Scout then Superman" Jacobsen...
Brother, I've missed you.
And I have got to say CONGRATU FREAKING LATIONS!!!! Former World Champion? That's awesome man. And I'm not evening messing around. That is something I always knew you were capable of but never ever expected to happen. I always assumed some dick head like myself would purposely end your career before you did something as sweet as win the World title.
I've gotta say, Andy, you made momma proud.
You know, before I left, you and I were trying to put our differences aside and make a man out of you. Steve and I took you under our wing and tried to mold you in our image. And in the end, after I left, you didn't become champion by listening to us try and change you, you did it by being yourself man. And that is something you shouldn't ever, and I mean EVER forget about.
**** Verona and Ace and any other smug ass piece of a crap that steps up to you and tells you to change. People like that, people like Steve and I? We're just pissed off that we couldn't do what you could. We couldn't climb the mountain without taking some short cuts. We couldn't get it done without a lead pipe or some outside assistance. We couldn't face every obstacle head on, take our losses like men and pick ourselves back up.
We couldn't do it like you.
I know, I know, you're all like "What?" and Huh?" and I'm a little surprised too Andy. I mean, when I came into nCw, I was just like you and I tried to do it your way. But I couldn't. I couldn't be the good guy. I couldn't smile and take my licks. It got to me and in the end I snapped and I broke every single body that got in between me and my dream until I was standing on top of the mountain. But it's like you always said Andy, you can't make those kinds of personal sacarifices and expect to walk away unscathed. My road to the top cost me. It's cost Steve. Ace. Anyone who walked the path of the villain knows what it's like to truly lose everything they have...
So that's why when I heard what you did, how you didn't change a ***damn thing, I smiled because you proved everyone, including myself wrong.
Forget what everyone else says, you want the truth?
Everyone wants to be Andrew Jacobsen.
No one enters this business planning on being an asshole who ruins lives. No one is prepared to step over friends and loved ones to accomplish their dreams. This business corrupts people. Ruins people. It takes people like you and chews them up and spits them out and turns them into twisted, evil little sadistic bastards with no concern for their fellow man.
But not you.
And that's awesome...
But here's the ****ty part Andy. The part you've been waiting this whole promo for...
I'm not you.
I couldn't and cant' do it your way...
I can't grin and bear the weight of the world...
I've got to lie and cheat and steal my way back to the top of this company because in the end being the best wrestler in the whole damn world means absolutely jack **** if you're not the world champion.
That's why I didn't bother making a big return. I didn't make a spectacle of myself. Because it doesn't matter. Who cares if Rob Diamond is back if I'm not right there in the main event fighting for the world title?
Not me.
Not you.
And as far as matches like this go or last week or even my re-debut with the company? The only way they mean a damn thing is if I walk away with the win and one step closer to everything I lost when I left this place.
See Andy, I've already admitted I can't do it your way. I can't just wrestle my best and be happy with the results or where this company decides to put me. Let's be honest here, I'm sure there are more than a few people unhappy to see me here and even more feeling like i'm aiming to take their place on the roster.
Well tough **** because I am.
I'm looking to take you on, take you out, take your spot and then keep moving on up. I'm looking to do it the only way I know how. The only way that has ever worked for me. By stepping on and over every single person I give a damn about until I hold the World Championship in my hands once again.
I love you Andy, you're one of my best friend even if I treat you like **** every time we hang out and make you pay the bill...
But Sunday...
Your're going to be standing between me and the top of this company.
That's a bad mother trucking place to be.
Don't take it personally Andy, this is what wrestling has made me. Cold. Calculating. Dangerous.
Besides, deep down, I know this is what you've always wanted, one more chance to show the world that you're better than me. One more chance to show the world that you don't need to be InFamous to be respected. One more chance to prove me wrong about every bad thing I've ever said about you.
So lets put any friendship we may have formed when we were tag champions aside and do this.
Let's rip each other to pieces out there...
Just don't be all surprised and **** when I crush your nuts...
Again...
Suck it.