Post by Philip Burns on Apr 6, 2013 20:56:59 GMT -6
“What are those retarded looking things on your feet?”
{A confused Burns leans against his black 1967 Impala in a driveway. He stares at the feet of the legend simply known as Mike Honcho. His odd shoes cause him to have a noticeably odd walk.}
Honcho: You like these broham? These shoes are vertical leap trainers. I’m gonna be able to jump over Kareem Abdul Jabar like a boss.
Philip Burns: Why would you need to jump over him?
Honcho: Why wouldn’t I?
Philip Burns: I guess...
Honcho: Also, because I like to party.
Philip Burns: I know for a fact that you don’t. ANYWAY. I agreed to give you a ride to the Dentist so lets go.
Honcho: you’re the best Phil. Not including the time you turned on me for no reason.
Philip Burns: Just get in.
{Burns settles into the waiting room as Honcho is led back to have his work done. He picks up a magazine only to realize its a XXX magazine. He quickly trades it out for another but they are all nudie mags. He looks around to confirm he is alone and picks up a copy of “Busty Beauties from the Philippines”}
Philip Burns: Ah my two favorite things!
Excuse me?
{Burns is startled and throws the magazine on the ground as he looks up to see the receptionist had just walked by.}
Philip Burns: Oh I’m sorry I didn’t see you there! I was just uh reading the articles!
Receptionist: Its OK sir. We put those out there so people can be as comfortable as possible.
Philip Burns: Not sure its working. My jeans are very uncomfortable all of a sudden.
{the receptionist giggles}
Receptionist: you’re funny. I was just about to step out for lunch. Your friend will be a little bit, would you like to go?
Philip Burns: Sure, I could use a nipple. NIBBLE
{Burns' face turns red as they leave.}
TWO HOURS LATER
{Burns pulls back up to the dentist's office in his car and lets the girl out. Honcho has been waiting outside for him. His mouth is packed with gauze. And he is woozy for the painkillers. He mumbles out some very jumbled words that are barely understandable.}
Honcho: Wew hab u bin?
Philip Burns: Out to lunch with the hot receptionist.
Honcho: O no dud u slep wif hew?
Philip Burns: A gentelman doesn’t kiss and tell.
Honcho: Gud dan it Phiwep. I sweaw u hab no lespekt.
Philip Burns: What were you gonna do? You look like a special needs guy with those shoes and now you sound like one. Speaking of that! I just got and idea. Lets go see if we can get in the theatre at a discount. Ill pass you off as my older, mentally challenged brother.
Honcho: I het u. But oK. Lets see The Cwoods
Philip Burns: I was thinking, maybe if you don’t have anything going on this weekend you could come see Collision. With nCw going out of business you wont have many more chances. I’m fighting Joe Everyman so should be a good show.
{They get in the car. And drive off.}
Joe, we go way back. Its sad that we meet again under these circumstances, with nCw closing and everything. But I came back to fight quality opponents and end this run on a high note. And when I look across the ring at a guy like Joe Everyman, a quality opponent is exactly what I see. I don’t know the reasoning behind your personal opinion of me but What I can tell you is that I have a deep respect for everything you've accomplished here. I hope when the “Best Of” DVDs starting making their rounds that they are full of your matches.
But just because I’m not as hostile as you doesn’t mean I will show up any less ready to fight. I’ve already held the biggest prize, and titles no longer mean anything to me. So if that is your end game then by all means, go ahead. You wont catch me standing in your way. I just want a good fight every week so don’t disappoint me Joe. Don’t disappoint me like you do the fans, the company, and yourself.
{A confused Burns leans against his black 1967 Impala in a driveway. He stares at the feet of the legend simply known as Mike Honcho. His odd shoes cause him to have a noticeably odd walk.}
Honcho: You like these broham? These shoes are vertical leap trainers. I’m gonna be able to jump over Kareem Abdul Jabar like a boss.
Philip Burns: Why would you need to jump over him?
Honcho: Why wouldn’t I?
Philip Burns: I guess...
Honcho: Also, because I like to party.
Philip Burns: I know for a fact that you don’t. ANYWAY. I agreed to give you a ride to the Dentist so lets go.
Honcho: you’re the best Phil. Not including the time you turned on me for no reason.
Philip Burns: Just get in.
{Burns settles into the waiting room as Honcho is led back to have his work done. He picks up a magazine only to realize its a XXX magazine. He quickly trades it out for another but they are all nudie mags. He looks around to confirm he is alone and picks up a copy of “Busty Beauties from the Philippines”}
Philip Burns: Ah my two favorite things!
Excuse me?
{Burns is startled and throws the magazine on the ground as he looks up to see the receptionist had just walked by.}
Philip Burns: Oh I’m sorry I didn’t see you there! I was just uh reading the articles!
Receptionist: Its OK sir. We put those out there so people can be as comfortable as possible.
Philip Burns: Not sure its working. My jeans are very uncomfortable all of a sudden.
{the receptionist giggles}
Receptionist: you’re funny. I was just about to step out for lunch. Your friend will be a little bit, would you like to go?
Philip Burns: Sure, I could use a nipple. NIBBLE
{Burns' face turns red as they leave.}
TWO HOURS LATER
{Burns pulls back up to the dentist's office in his car and lets the girl out. Honcho has been waiting outside for him. His mouth is packed with gauze. And he is woozy for the painkillers. He mumbles out some very jumbled words that are barely understandable.}
Honcho: Wew hab u bin?
Philip Burns: Out to lunch with the hot receptionist.
Honcho: O no dud u slep wif hew?
Philip Burns: A gentelman doesn’t kiss and tell.
Honcho: Gud dan it Phiwep. I sweaw u hab no lespekt.
Philip Burns: What were you gonna do? You look like a special needs guy with those shoes and now you sound like one. Speaking of that! I just got and idea. Lets go see if we can get in the theatre at a discount. Ill pass you off as my older, mentally challenged brother.
Honcho: I het u. But oK. Lets see The Cwoods
Philip Burns: I was thinking, maybe if you don’t have anything going on this weekend you could come see Collision. With nCw going out of business you wont have many more chances. I’m fighting Joe Everyman so should be a good show.
{They get in the car. And drive off.}
Joe, we go way back. Its sad that we meet again under these circumstances, with nCw closing and everything. But I came back to fight quality opponents and end this run on a high note. And when I look across the ring at a guy like Joe Everyman, a quality opponent is exactly what I see. I don’t know the reasoning behind your personal opinion of me but What I can tell you is that I have a deep respect for everything you've accomplished here. I hope when the “Best Of” DVDs starting making their rounds that they are full of your matches.
But just because I’m not as hostile as you doesn’t mean I will show up any less ready to fight. I’ve already held the biggest prize, and titles no longer mean anything to me. So if that is your end game then by all means, go ahead. You wont catch me standing in your way. I just want a good fight every week so don’t disappoint me Joe. Don’t disappoint me like you do the fans, the company, and yourself.