Post by Steve Awesome on Apr 6, 2013 22:57:47 GMT -6
I want to start off by clearing up a common misconception.
When ever Trent and I make fun of an opponent and resort to childish immature jokes about our opponents, this week of course being Criminal Intent. Dark and brooding Mcdaniels and the Croc sucker Kingsley, we aren’t underestimating anyone.
I know, we make being world champions look easy. I did it twice. And I know we walk around acting all flippant and cocky all the time, but trust us, we always know what were getting into. I mean honestly, do people think Trent and I were able to attain hall of fame careers by just walking into fights thinking we’re unbeatable? Of course not. We’ve won our titles, we’ve had our big wins because we kept ourselves prepared.
The thing is…..
We just don’t give a crap.
It’s nothing personal. And we’re not underestimating anyone.
We just don’t give a crap. Not about what you’ve done, who you’ve beaten, what you’ve won or who you think you are. Why would we let anything like that matter to us? The true warrior believes he can win at all times.
And besides, childish immature jokes are still funny. I could say the word poop right now and I bet someone will laugh.
Poop.
``````````````````````````````````````````
Cut to Jayson Matthews sitting on a sofa watching TV and all of a sudden he just starts laughing. Mandi looks up from her novel.
Mandi: Whats so funny?
Jayson: Someone said poop.
```````````````````````````````````````````````
And that’s the attitude we’d give to a team actually worth something to someone. Not to some second rate filler tag team that’s lost every chance they’ve gotten. Cyrus wants to talk about underestimating him and his team……when have you ever proved at anytime that you are a team to even worry about? That time that you LOST a bunch? I’m sure you two were the cutest most popular couple in Prison and everything but this is Collision and you’re facing Close Encounters of the Awesome Kind. You two may have raped all the ladies in prison but rest assured when we get in that ring, we’re the ones doing the raping.
I mean I’m a big time movie star, and Trent Helms is like a cult classic hero like Bruce Campbell. You guys are just….henchmen. Your just extras in one of my movies with no lines and minimal camera time. In the credits, your characters don’t even have names. Just henchmen one and henchmen two. You guys are red shirts. Storm troopers. Foot soldiers. PUTTIES! Your role in life is to just run at us and fall down at our feet while the real challenges takes themselves and the princess to another castle.
So let me tell you guys what’s going to happen. You two Aussies can come to Collision tomorrow. Ride down to the rings in your Kangaroos, playing your didgery doo’s and drinking your Fosters beer, look all intimidating with your Prison backgrounds and proceed to get your ass kicked Awesome Style. And then once we do exactly that we will go on to face this so called unbeatable tag team named Team America and win the tag team titles like we should have done years ago. Tell them Booker T…..
Steve and Booker stare at each other awkwardly was we fade out.
We cut to Steve Awesome, Trent Helms, Rob Diamond and Jayson Matthews all hanging out. Nobody is really talking, there just sort of on there cell phones or reading a comic book when all of a sudden Jay-Mat breaks the silence.
JM: You know what a weird word is? Rural. I don’t get it man.
RD: You mean like….farm land?
JM: Yes. Like the opposite of urban. Rural….weird word. It just sounds weird when you say it out loud.
TH: Rural…..hmm that is a weird word.
SA: Yeah, I don’t like the way it rolls off my tongue. It’s like I’m not even saying a real word. Rural. Gah….feels weird to say too.
JM: I know! It’s like I’m speaking gibberish. Or saying noodle in a Scooby doo impression or something.
RD: Rural. Rural. Man, who comes up with words?
SA: I think his name is Webster dude. Or Merrimem.
RD: Well Webster is a dick for making such a stupid sounding word.
TH: Yeah seriously, we’re sitting here in this kitchen sounding like idiots trying to figure out the word rural while this Webster guy sits in his amazing tower just making up dumb words for no reason.
JM: Rural.
SA: Rural. Man, I sound like an Asian guy.
TH: Rural.
RD: Rural.
SA: Rural?
TH: Ru-ru-rual.
JM: Rurrrrrral.
RD: ROORAL?
They all four start clamoring together when Mandi Matthews walks into the room and see’s them all yelling and trying to talk over each other. She tries to get in on the conversation.
MM: You know what word I think is weird? Moist! Ugh…it just bugs me. Right guys?
Everybody just looks at her like she was a leper.
RD: That’s just stupid.
TH: Yeah, why are you talking?
JM: You comepletly ruined it Mandi.
All three guys get up from the kitchen and leave. Steve walks up to his fiancé and tries to console her after his dick friends and Jayson just treated her like crap.
SA: It’s okay babe, ……….
He sighs.
SA: But you really sounded like an idiot back there.
He hugs her and kisses her on the cheek.
SA: Don’t worry I still love you though…..
He slaps her ass and walks away. Leaving Mandi visibly annoyed.
Criminal Intent……
Cyrus.
Kingsley.
What more do I need to say…..
You guys lead a life that’s always going to be filled with regrets and failiures. You make bad decisions in life and you pay for them. You broke the law, you went to jail. You joined Kanyon’s cult, you look like idiots. You get in your match against the Close Encounters with a goal….you lose yet again.
That’s just your dumb luck.
Don’t expect it to change anytime soon.
Deuces.
When ever Trent and I make fun of an opponent and resort to childish immature jokes about our opponents, this week of course being Criminal Intent. Dark and brooding Mcdaniels and the Croc sucker Kingsley, we aren’t underestimating anyone.
I know, we make being world champions look easy. I did it twice. And I know we walk around acting all flippant and cocky all the time, but trust us, we always know what were getting into. I mean honestly, do people think Trent and I were able to attain hall of fame careers by just walking into fights thinking we’re unbeatable? Of course not. We’ve won our titles, we’ve had our big wins because we kept ourselves prepared.
The thing is…..
We just don’t give a crap.
It’s nothing personal. And we’re not underestimating anyone.
We just don’t give a crap. Not about what you’ve done, who you’ve beaten, what you’ve won or who you think you are. Why would we let anything like that matter to us? The true warrior believes he can win at all times.
And besides, childish immature jokes are still funny. I could say the word poop right now and I bet someone will laugh.
Poop.
``````````````````````````````````````````
Cut to Jayson Matthews sitting on a sofa watching TV and all of a sudden he just starts laughing. Mandi looks up from her novel.
Mandi: Whats so funny?
Jayson: Someone said poop.
```````````````````````````````````````````````
And that’s the attitude we’d give to a team actually worth something to someone. Not to some second rate filler tag team that’s lost every chance they’ve gotten. Cyrus wants to talk about underestimating him and his team……when have you ever proved at anytime that you are a team to even worry about? That time that you LOST a bunch? I’m sure you two were the cutest most popular couple in Prison and everything but this is Collision and you’re facing Close Encounters of the Awesome Kind. You two may have raped all the ladies in prison but rest assured when we get in that ring, we’re the ones doing the raping.
I mean I’m a big time movie star, and Trent Helms is like a cult classic hero like Bruce Campbell. You guys are just….henchmen. Your just extras in one of my movies with no lines and minimal camera time. In the credits, your characters don’t even have names. Just henchmen one and henchmen two. You guys are red shirts. Storm troopers. Foot soldiers. PUTTIES! Your role in life is to just run at us and fall down at our feet while the real challenges takes themselves and the princess to another castle.
So let me tell you guys what’s going to happen. You two Aussies can come to Collision tomorrow. Ride down to the rings in your Kangaroos, playing your didgery doo’s and drinking your Fosters beer, look all intimidating with your Prison backgrounds and proceed to get your ass kicked Awesome Style. And then once we do exactly that we will go on to face this so called unbeatable tag team named Team America and win the tag team titles like we should have done years ago. Tell them Booker T…..
Steve and Booker stare at each other awkwardly was we fade out.
We cut to Steve Awesome, Trent Helms, Rob Diamond and Jayson Matthews all hanging out. Nobody is really talking, there just sort of on there cell phones or reading a comic book when all of a sudden Jay-Mat breaks the silence.
JM: You know what a weird word is? Rural. I don’t get it man.
RD: You mean like….farm land?
JM: Yes. Like the opposite of urban. Rural….weird word. It just sounds weird when you say it out loud.
TH: Rural…..hmm that is a weird word.
SA: Yeah, I don’t like the way it rolls off my tongue. It’s like I’m not even saying a real word. Rural. Gah….feels weird to say too.
JM: I know! It’s like I’m speaking gibberish. Or saying noodle in a Scooby doo impression or something.
RD: Rural. Rural. Man, who comes up with words?
SA: I think his name is Webster dude. Or Merrimem.
RD: Well Webster is a dick for making such a stupid sounding word.
TH: Yeah seriously, we’re sitting here in this kitchen sounding like idiots trying to figure out the word rural while this Webster guy sits in his amazing tower just making up dumb words for no reason.
JM: Rural.
SA: Rural. Man, I sound like an Asian guy.
TH: Rural.
RD: Rural.
SA: Rural?
TH: Ru-ru-rual.
JM: Rurrrrrral.
RD: ROORAL?
They all four start clamoring together when Mandi Matthews walks into the room and see’s them all yelling and trying to talk over each other. She tries to get in on the conversation.
MM: You know what word I think is weird? Moist! Ugh…it just bugs me. Right guys?
Everybody just looks at her like she was a leper.
RD: That’s just stupid.
TH: Yeah, why are you talking?
JM: You comepletly ruined it Mandi.
All three guys get up from the kitchen and leave. Steve walks up to his fiancé and tries to console her after his dick friends and Jayson just treated her like crap.
SA: It’s okay babe, ……….
He sighs.
SA: But you really sounded like an idiot back there.
He hugs her and kisses her on the cheek.
SA: Don’t worry I still love you though…..
He slaps her ass and walks away. Leaving Mandi visibly annoyed.
Criminal Intent……
Cyrus.
Kingsley.
What more do I need to say…..
You guys lead a life that’s always going to be filled with regrets and failiures. You make bad decisions in life and you pay for them. You broke the law, you went to jail. You joined Kanyon’s cult, you look like idiots. You get in your match against the Close Encounters with a goal….you lose yet again.
That’s just your dumb luck.
Don’t expect it to change anytime soon.
Deuces.