Post by Rob Diamond on Apr 22, 2013 8:20:13 GMT -6
Is that how it's gonna be you ball-less little prick?
IS THAT HOW IT'S GONNA BE SIMON!?
Alright, we can do it that way. We can do it your way, you know, LIKE A PUSSY. I mean why punch me square in the jaw like a man because Zelda walked off with your balls when you could try to run in on my match like an angry little bitch.
Why have nuts when a puss suits you so much better?
Right?
DICK LESS?
Right?
Right.
So lets do it that way. Lets play the game Simon. But let me tell you something before the game gets a little too real for you, brother. I'm a ****ing pro at making peoples lives a living hell. I know you like to think your some hot little smart ass bitch, but the reality is your just a pissed off little punk.
You're a nothing.
Gib's hand bag.
HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!
Now I see why that was so funny to say to Jacobsen.
But look at it this way Simon, once upon a time you were banging the hottest girl here. Once upon a time you were a true rising star. Once upon a time you were a champion. And then you decided to blame all your troubles on the biggest asshole on the face of the planet weeks before the company we worked for closes their doors...
Which means I can do anything Iw ant to you with absolutely no repercussions.
I'll call Angel, have him fit you for a casket.
{ Open on a pretty disgruntled Rob Diamond. Why disgruntled you ask? Well he's currently sitting in the waiting room of a clinic waiting to head into his first court ordered anger management class. He looks around at some of the other derelicts who will be joining him today, there's this one hot chick with tats all down her arms and cleavage, kinda small boobs but hey, he'd still bang her. There's this one big guy with grey hair who looks like he just polished off a bottle of jack. There's a black guy, joint freshly put out as Rob is catching a contact high and a few other stereotypical angry people spread out around him. The door to his left opens, a hot broad with some DD's under her sweater stands there. }
Amy: Amy's group for 3:00?
{ Tat girl, drunk guy, pot head man and a few others get up and head in. Rob sits there for a second. }
Amy: Are you coming Mr. Diamond?
Rob: I'd love to on your chest...
Amy: Excuse me?
Rob: I said I'd be there in a sec...
{ Rob drags himself out of the chair and heads inside the hall way and to the room where everyone is now sitting. He plops down across from the tat girl and next to the drunk guy. The black dude starts shaking everyone's hands. }
Jacoby: Sup bro, names Jacoby, good to see you here.
Rob: Yup...
{ Amy takes a seat at the head of the group. }
Amy: Good afternoon everyone. As I'm sure you can see we've got a few new people here so I'd like to go around the room and have everyone say their name and why their here. }
{ Amy looks to her left at the tat girl. }
Jaimie: Names Jaimie. I'm here cuz some bitch spit in my face so I broke her jaw. Guess that makes me angry.
{ Next up is the black dude. }
Jacoby: I'm Jacoby and I shouldn't even here man. I'm not angry or nothing. I don't know what people's problems are.
Amy :Well how did you end up here?
Jacoby: Court man.
Amy: The court doesn't just send people to me, Jacoby.
Jacoby: I don't know. Probably cause I had to correct some guys attitude one night. But it's all good.
{ Amy nods as we move on to the drunk. }
Carl: I'm not angry, people are just assholes and piss me off... I'm Carl by the way.
{ We get to Rob. }
Rob: Wow... I don't know what to say.
Amy: Start with your name and why you're here?
Rob: My name is Rob Diamond and I'm here because some asshole and his slut girl friend have my kid.
Amy: That's why you're here?
Rob: I'm here because I knocked the dick out. See they think they can sit back and ride my ass to easy street, all the while holding my kid over my head but that's not how it's going to work because I'm going to take this stupid class, I'm going to pass and then I'm going to get my daughter back.
Amy: That's not exactly how this works.
Rob: Well that's how it's going to wkr because there is no way I'm going to let that sack of **** raise my kid.
Amy: Yes but what I'm saying is you don't pass anger management, you learn to vent your anger in a healthy way.
Rob: In a healthy way? I'm a professional ***damn wrestler. I get paid to vent my anger in a healthy way by caving in people's freaking skulls for money.
Carl: That's like my dream job.
Rob: Mine too. And I'm damn good at it .But I didn't bust my ass for last ten years just so a couple of scum bags could pop in and take all my hard earned money and my kid.
Amy: Well I'm here to help you in any way I can.
Rob: Awesome, you can start by telling the court I'm good.
{ Rob smugly smiles at her like he's won something. }
Amy: As soon as I feel you are, I will.
{ And the smug smiles turns to a great deal of anger. }
Amy: Now that we are all introduced let's discuss some things that make us angry and perhaps a better way to handle those things than how we are used to.
Rob: ****...
Who in the blue hell is Criminal Intent and why the hell are Spike and I reuniting to face them?
No seriously, I want an answer right this very second.
.......
Oh, you want me to cut a promo about two guys I know nothing about because you couldn't find anyone better for Spike and I to face in the last days of nCw? Awesome, well you can suck my big fat left nut because I'm not going to waste my time standing here talking about Cyrus the Virus or his partner Jim Beam.
Spike Kane and I ARE LEGENDS!
LEGENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are former World Champions, HALL OF FAME MEMBERS!!!!!!
We are the inspiration for WET DREAMS ALL OVER THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!
And you waste our talent this way? You waste our charm, charisma and ***damn good looks on the likes of Criminal Intent? What? Were NAZI busy? Mr. Happy couldn't find a partner. I've got a better idea, since there are only like three weeks left before NCW closes it's doors forever why not give the fans something to remember instead of pissing in their face with this **** fest of a match.
Something like Spike Kane and Rob Diamond back together to take on TEAM AMERICA!!!!
Or maybe the ghost of Trent Helms past and my darling best friend Steve Awesome?
Or Markus Reeves and that other guy he teamed with that beat Andrew Jacobsen and I?
Or what about just Spike Kane versus Rob Diamond because beating on my good buddy would still be a better use of my talents than this match. I mean, what am I supposed to say about these guys?
Hey, way to be ring side when Trent Helms had a heart attack?
Ummmm.... Congrats for removing the pistol from your temple this morning?
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??
I can't even stand here and pretend like I know a damn thing about this guys. I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE OF THEIR NAMES AND THE OTHER DUDE IS APPARENTLY JOHN MALKOVICH FROM CON AIR!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't work with that. I mean I'm good but damn, I need something to work with here. I need material. I need to know how these guys work so I can rip them apart and make light of their lives and then threaten them to the point of absolute and total fear, that way when I step inside the ring with them it's really damn easy for Spike and I to rip them a new asshole.
That's what I need.
Instead I get a couple of nobodies who haven't accomplished anything to face as a lead up to my final match in NCW. What a memorable way to go out.
Hey Spike, Rob, so who did you guys rape before NCW closed?
Oh, you know, Criminal Intent.
Who?
EX FREAKING ACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know, it's not even that I'm mad at you NCW. I mean I could be. It'd be easy to just lose my temper and go off on you and blame you for all my problems. But I won't. Honestly, I'm disappointed in you. I expected more from you NCW. I expected better. There was a time Spike Kane and I wouldn't even step into your ring unless it was for a world title and now you expect us to just get in there with two guys who I'm not even sure what their names are for a quarter of what you used to pay us?
That's cold, Dub, real cold.
But we are after all professionals. This is what we love to do. And besides, we don't get paid at all if we don't wrestle. So I guess the **** will continue to keep rolling down hill for Criminal Intent and Spike and I will chalk up another meaningless victory in a career JAM PACKED with meaningless victories....
That last part didn't really come out the way I wanted. I mean, Spike and I have had a lot of history making matches and junk, and we've also had a lot of throw away matches and...
You know what, whatever!
This is what we do. It's who we are. And whether I know your damn names or not doesn't matter because I'm still gonna use you and abuse you Sunday night just like I did your mothers! And I didn't know their names either.
Suck it.
{ We catch up with Rob a few hours after his group. He's just sitting at a Dunkin' Donuts grabbing an iced coffee when his phone rings. }
Rob: Hello?
Zelda: Hey Rob.
Rob: Hey Zee.
Zelda: I just wanted to say i'm sorry about Simon.
Rob: Don't be. He's dick-less bitch.
{ She giggles on the other end of the phone. }
Zelda: Figured somebody should apologize for him.
Rob: I'd rather his mom apologize about skipping that abortion appointment.
{ She laughs again and then they both go silent for a minute. }
Zelda: How was group?
Rob: Sucked.
Zelda: Stick through it, it'll be worth it.
Rob: I hope so.
Zelda: Rob...
Rob: Yeah?
Zelda: You're gonna make a great father, don't stop fighting for that kid.
{ For the first time this promo his disgruntled glare melts away into a genuine smile. }
Rob: Thanks Zee.
{ Fade. }
Cyrus.
Stephen.
I'm sure you guys think this match is your golden opportunity to make some noise before NCW closes but I've got to be honest with you.
I'm pissed.
Not at you, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm pissed at Simon Daye. I'm pissed at Roberto Verona. I'm pissed at NCW for closing it's ***damn doors before I got a chance to hold the world title again, or any title.
I'm pissed because this is the greatest ***damn wrestling company in the history of the world and no one, NO ONE will ever be able to repeat what we've done here. Anything after NCw will only be a pale reflection and that pisses me off.
Whats worse is we are literally less than a month away from the last show this company will ever have.
A Night to Remember will be the last night any of us will share an NCW ring together but before that happens I've got to step in the ring with a couple of jack offs whose only contribution to this company is buffing somebody else's stats, and that really pisses me off.
I want epic battles.
Career ending wars.
I want action and drama and blood and guts and I want it all in every single match until this company is dead and in the ground so I can say I WAS THERE! I was apart of NCW.
I was there when it ended...
So the way I see it you've got a choice. Step into this ring and give the greatest performance of your lives and HOPE! Beyond hope that somehow you manage to score the upset and add the biggest win of your career to your records before NCW is done...
Or pray that Spike and I leave enough of you left to try again next week.
I wouldn't hope to hard for that first thing though because Spike and I are definitely going to try and send you two assholes to the hospital just for the enjoyment of the fans. After all, this could be the last time Spike and I team together inside that ring, gotta give the fans something to remember...
Even if it's kind of a nightmare to behold.[/color]
IS THAT HOW IT'S GONNA BE SIMON!?
Alright, we can do it that way. We can do it your way, you know, LIKE A PUSSY. I mean why punch me square in the jaw like a man because Zelda walked off with your balls when you could try to run in on my match like an angry little bitch.
Why have nuts when a puss suits you so much better?
Right?
DICK LESS?
Right?
Right.
So lets do it that way. Lets play the game Simon. But let me tell you something before the game gets a little too real for you, brother. I'm a ****ing pro at making peoples lives a living hell. I know you like to think your some hot little smart ass bitch, but the reality is your just a pissed off little punk.
You're a nothing.
Gib's hand bag.
HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!
Now I see why that was so funny to say to Jacobsen.
But look at it this way Simon, once upon a time you were banging the hottest girl here. Once upon a time you were a true rising star. Once upon a time you were a champion. And then you decided to blame all your troubles on the biggest asshole on the face of the planet weeks before the company we worked for closes their doors...
Which means I can do anything Iw ant to you with absolutely no repercussions.
I'll call Angel, have him fit you for a casket.
{ Open on a pretty disgruntled Rob Diamond. Why disgruntled you ask? Well he's currently sitting in the waiting room of a clinic waiting to head into his first court ordered anger management class. He looks around at some of the other derelicts who will be joining him today, there's this one hot chick with tats all down her arms and cleavage, kinda small boobs but hey, he'd still bang her. There's this one big guy with grey hair who looks like he just polished off a bottle of jack. There's a black guy, joint freshly put out as Rob is catching a contact high and a few other stereotypical angry people spread out around him. The door to his left opens, a hot broad with some DD's under her sweater stands there. }
Amy: Amy's group for 3:00?
{ Tat girl, drunk guy, pot head man and a few others get up and head in. Rob sits there for a second. }
Amy: Are you coming Mr. Diamond?
Rob: I'd love to on your chest...
Amy: Excuse me?
Rob: I said I'd be there in a sec...
{ Rob drags himself out of the chair and heads inside the hall way and to the room where everyone is now sitting. He plops down across from the tat girl and next to the drunk guy. The black dude starts shaking everyone's hands. }
Jacoby: Sup bro, names Jacoby, good to see you here.
Rob: Yup...
{ Amy takes a seat at the head of the group. }
Amy: Good afternoon everyone. As I'm sure you can see we've got a few new people here so I'd like to go around the room and have everyone say their name and why their here. }
{ Amy looks to her left at the tat girl. }
Jaimie: Names Jaimie. I'm here cuz some bitch spit in my face so I broke her jaw. Guess that makes me angry.
{ Next up is the black dude. }
Jacoby: I'm Jacoby and I shouldn't even here man. I'm not angry or nothing. I don't know what people's problems are.
Amy :Well how did you end up here?
Jacoby: Court man.
Amy: The court doesn't just send people to me, Jacoby.
Jacoby: I don't know. Probably cause I had to correct some guys attitude one night. But it's all good.
{ Amy nods as we move on to the drunk. }
Carl: I'm not angry, people are just assholes and piss me off... I'm Carl by the way.
{ We get to Rob. }
Rob: Wow... I don't know what to say.
Amy: Start with your name and why you're here?
Rob: My name is Rob Diamond and I'm here because some asshole and his slut girl friend have my kid.
Amy: That's why you're here?
Rob: I'm here because I knocked the dick out. See they think they can sit back and ride my ass to easy street, all the while holding my kid over my head but that's not how it's going to work because I'm going to take this stupid class, I'm going to pass and then I'm going to get my daughter back.
Amy: That's not exactly how this works.
Rob: Well that's how it's going to wkr because there is no way I'm going to let that sack of **** raise my kid.
Amy: Yes but what I'm saying is you don't pass anger management, you learn to vent your anger in a healthy way.
Rob: In a healthy way? I'm a professional ***damn wrestler. I get paid to vent my anger in a healthy way by caving in people's freaking skulls for money.
Carl: That's like my dream job.
Rob: Mine too. And I'm damn good at it .But I didn't bust my ass for last ten years just so a couple of scum bags could pop in and take all my hard earned money and my kid.
Amy: Well I'm here to help you in any way I can.
Rob: Awesome, you can start by telling the court I'm good.
{ Rob smugly smiles at her like he's won something. }
Amy: As soon as I feel you are, I will.
{ And the smug smiles turns to a great deal of anger. }
Amy: Now that we are all introduced let's discuss some things that make us angry and perhaps a better way to handle those things than how we are used to.
Rob: ****...
Who in the blue hell is Criminal Intent and why the hell are Spike and I reuniting to face them?
No seriously, I want an answer right this very second.
.......
Oh, you want me to cut a promo about two guys I know nothing about because you couldn't find anyone better for Spike and I to face in the last days of nCw? Awesome, well you can suck my big fat left nut because I'm not going to waste my time standing here talking about Cyrus the Virus or his partner Jim Beam.
Spike Kane and I ARE LEGENDS!
LEGENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are former World Champions, HALL OF FAME MEMBERS!!!!!!
We are the inspiration for WET DREAMS ALL OVER THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!
And you waste our talent this way? You waste our charm, charisma and ***damn good looks on the likes of Criminal Intent? What? Were NAZI busy? Mr. Happy couldn't find a partner. I've got a better idea, since there are only like three weeks left before NCW closes it's doors forever why not give the fans something to remember instead of pissing in their face with this **** fest of a match.
Something like Spike Kane and Rob Diamond back together to take on TEAM AMERICA!!!!
Or maybe the ghost of Trent Helms past and my darling best friend Steve Awesome?
Or Markus Reeves and that other guy he teamed with that beat Andrew Jacobsen and I?
Or what about just Spike Kane versus Rob Diamond because beating on my good buddy would still be a better use of my talents than this match. I mean, what am I supposed to say about these guys?
Hey, way to be ring side when Trent Helms had a heart attack?
Ummmm.... Congrats for removing the pistol from your temple this morning?
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??
I can't even stand here and pretend like I know a damn thing about this guys. I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE OF THEIR NAMES AND THE OTHER DUDE IS APPARENTLY JOHN MALKOVICH FROM CON AIR!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't work with that. I mean I'm good but damn, I need something to work with here. I need material. I need to know how these guys work so I can rip them apart and make light of their lives and then threaten them to the point of absolute and total fear, that way when I step inside the ring with them it's really damn easy for Spike and I to rip them a new asshole.
That's what I need.
Instead I get a couple of nobodies who haven't accomplished anything to face as a lead up to my final match in NCW. What a memorable way to go out.
Hey Spike, Rob, so who did you guys rape before NCW closed?
Oh, you know, Criminal Intent.
Who?
EX FREAKING ACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You know, it's not even that I'm mad at you NCW. I mean I could be. It'd be easy to just lose my temper and go off on you and blame you for all my problems. But I won't. Honestly, I'm disappointed in you. I expected more from you NCW. I expected better. There was a time Spike Kane and I wouldn't even step into your ring unless it was for a world title and now you expect us to just get in there with two guys who I'm not even sure what their names are for a quarter of what you used to pay us?
That's cold, Dub, real cold.
But we are after all professionals. This is what we love to do. And besides, we don't get paid at all if we don't wrestle. So I guess the **** will continue to keep rolling down hill for Criminal Intent and Spike and I will chalk up another meaningless victory in a career JAM PACKED with meaningless victories....
That last part didn't really come out the way I wanted. I mean, Spike and I have had a lot of history making matches and junk, and we've also had a lot of throw away matches and...
You know what, whatever!
This is what we do. It's who we are. And whether I know your damn names or not doesn't matter because I'm still gonna use you and abuse you Sunday night just like I did your mothers! And I didn't know their names either.
Suck it.
{ We catch up with Rob a few hours after his group. He's just sitting at a Dunkin' Donuts grabbing an iced coffee when his phone rings. }
Rob: Hello?
Zelda: Hey Rob.
Rob: Hey Zee.
Zelda: I just wanted to say i'm sorry about Simon.
Rob: Don't be. He's dick-less bitch.
{ She giggles on the other end of the phone. }
Zelda: Figured somebody should apologize for him.
Rob: I'd rather his mom apologize about skipping that abortion appointment.
{ She laughs again and then they both go silent for a minute. }
Zelda: How was group?
Rob: Sucked.
Zelda: Stick through it, it'll be worth it.
Rob: I hope so.
Zelda: Rob...
Rob: Yeah?
Zelda: You're gonna make a great father, don't stop fighting for that kid.
{ For the first time this promo his disgruntled glare melts away into a genuine smile. }
Rob: Thanks Zee.
{ Fade. }
Cyrus.
Stephen.
I'm sure you guys think this match is your golden opportunity to make some noise before NCW closes but I've got to be honest with you.
I'm pissed.
Not at you, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm pissed at Simon Daye. I'm pissed at Roberto Verona. I'm pissed at NCW for closing it's ***damn doors before I got a chance to hold the world title again, or any title.
I'm pissed because this is the greatest ***damn wrestling company in the history of the world and no one, NO ONE will ever be able to repeat what we've done here. Anything after NCw will only be a pale reflection and that pisses me off.
Whats worse is we are literally less than a month away from the last show this company will ever have.
A Night to Remember will be the last night any of us will share an NCW ring together but before that happens I've got to step in the ring with a couple of jack offs whose only contribution to this company is buffing somebody else's stats, and that really pisses me off.
I want epic battles.
Career ending wars.
I want action and drama and blood and guts and I want it all in every single match until this company is dead and in the ground so I can say I WAS THERE! I was apart of NCW.
I was there when it ended...
So the way I see it you've got a choice. Step into this ring and give the greatest performance of your lives and HOPE! Beyond hope that somehow you manage to score the upset and add the biggest win of your career to your records before NCW is done...
Or pray that Spike and I leave enough of you left to try again next week.
I wouldn't hope to hard for that first thing though because Spike and I are definitely going to try and send you two assholes to the hospital just for the enjoyment of the fans. After all, this could be the last time Spike and I team together inside that ring, gotta give the fans something to remember...
Even if it's kind of a nightmare to behold.[/color]