Post by Danny Vice on Oct 3, 2007 18:05:36 GMT -6
Televisions across America come back from commercial to another exciting episode of “LIVE! With Regis and Kelly”. Seated on their famed set is morning show superpowers Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa, who are prepared for their next segment of Friday’s all important television broadcast.
Regis: Wow! That was impressive. I didn’t think you could POSSIBLY GET A SNAKE THAT BIG!
Kelly: Yes, that 94 foot yellow python was rather intimidating.
Regis: YOU’RE TELLING ME!
Kelly: Settle Reeg, you know you might have a coronary if you scream like that.
Regis: SCREAM LIKE WHAT!
Kelly: Alllllllllright…well our next guest is new to the show, but the sport he represents is certainly nothing new to the Live set here in New York City.
Regis: That’s right Kelly. Back when Kathy Lee was here with me, we had sensational superstars such as Hulk Hogan, Lex Luger, and Yokozuna here to talk about the famed world of professional wrestling.
Kelly: That Lex Luger used to make a high school Kelly all hot and bothered.
Regis: Kelly! I will be sure to let Mark know about this.
Kelly: He knows I love big strong men, that’s why I married him.
Regis: Well then this next guest is right up your alley young lady. He is a former champion and hell of a performer. He’s been known to really step it up and come through when the lights are on bright. Ladies and Gentleman, the future nCw Xtreme Champion….DANNY VICE!
The crowd on the set of Live explodes with cheers. The loudest demographic being middle aged women, who love Danny’s unique style, but more importantly, his chiseled good looks. Danny hits the stage and bows graciously before heading over and grabbing a seat next to Regis and Kelly.
Kelly: Yes, and all of that takes place in just a few days at their pay-per view known as Mindgames.
Regis: What do you think Mindgames means?
Kelly: Umm, I’m going to go out on a limb and say it has to do with someone messing with the mind of another person in order to form an advantage.
Regis: EXTRAORDINARY!
The crowd chuckles at the old man’s senility.
Kelly: Let me start off by saying my kids started watching nCw instead of those other wrestling companies when they heard you were the latest addition to their roster.
Regis: THE LITTLE RASCALS LOVE YA!
Kelly: Danny, please, tell us and our audience a little bit about yourself…
Danny looks a little nervous, but shrugs it off and smiles as he talks about his accomplishments.
Danny: Well, I came to the nCw because I felt like I needed a new challenge to really spicen up my career. In the past I’ve been relatively successful in each of the obstacles presented before me, and without a real challenge….
Regis: Kid, you don’t have to give us the cookie cutter response, tell us your real reason.
Danny: Well…(pause)…the real reason is to find truth. To find out what happened to my beloved Tiffany, who’s been missing for about a month now. I suspect someone inside the nCw is behind it, and I feel like the best way for me to find that truth is to investigate myself. This weekend, at Mindgames, I will be given an opportunity to not only display my abilities and willingness to compete, but also gain another piece of the puzzle that is the truth of Tiffany’s absence.
Kelly: That person being, Johnny Craven?
Danny: That’s for another time. Right now, I want to do a little dissecting on my first opponent, Reckoning.
Kelly: Of course, tell us a little bit about this man.
Danny: He’s less of a man than a monster. The guy is from what he claims are the mean streets of Chicago. Now, I respect Chicago. There’s been a lot of tough men to come out of there. Johnny No Nose. The Vice Lords. Anthony Spiltoro. Al Capone. It isn’t a place to be taken lightly, nor are the people who come from it. Except Reckoning. This wannabe white rapper comes into the nCw hipping and hopping about him repping up Chicago like he’s a somebody. The guy’s trying to put everyone else in the nCw on watch because he runs with Bizarre. Do you know who Bizarre is?
Regis: The Superman character?
Kelly: I have no idea.
Danny: Bizarre is the fat guy in D12. You know, the crew from Detroit that Eminem is the face of?
Kelly: I love Marshall, he’s a sweetheart.
Danny: Well yeah, so anyways. Reckoning is trying to put everyone on watch because he is friends with Bizarre and that he has some groupies who want to follow him. Reckonin, if you’re out there paying attention to me right now, listen carefully. No one wants to buy your record. Your music is terrible. Your lyrics…bland. You don’t scare anybody because you have a 300 pound gorilla as your “boy”. You’re not “down” with all the “homies and playas” making all us “whack pimps” shake in our little boots. And stop dropping names of wrestlers like Scotty 2 Hotty and Delirious like it’s going to add to your in ring repertoire and ability. We don’t fear you. We don’t even care to know you or learn anything about you. All of us. Me. Regis Philbin. The guy in row 3. The guy in row 3’s daddy. His mama, and his Grandma Jezebelle. Dr. Pepper doesn’t care who you are, Leonard Fox doesn’t care who you are, and Reckless Jack doesn’t care who you are. We all don’t care who you call friends and who you call foes. We don’t care that you can rhyme big words like…“king”. This business isn't about unimportant junk like that. This business is about competition. Athleticism. Drive. Motivation. I have stood in that ring with the best and left everythign inside. My abilities and talents are second to none in this very company they call nCw. There is no stopping me from getting to my goals. And I have the support of thousands and thousands of the most rabid fans in the world pushing me. Which is why, at Mindgames, while you're texting on your iPhone to see where K-Fed's hanging for his afterparty, I will be snapping your other arm back with my Vicelock. And their is NOTHING you can do about it.
Regis: I LOVE IT!
Kelly: Danny, thank you so much for coming! We'll be back after this commercial break with Taylor Hicks.
Regis: Wow! That was impressive. I didn’t think you could POSSIBLY GET A SNAKE THAT BIG!
Kelly: Yes, that 94 foot yellow python was rather intimidating.
Regis: YOU’RE TELLING ME!
Kelly: Settle Reeg, you know you might have a coronary if you scream like that.
Regis: SCREAM LIKE WHAT!
Kelly: Alllllllllright…well our next guest is new to the show, but the sport he represents is certainly nothing new to the Live set here in New York City.
Regis: That’s right Kelly. Back when Kathy Lee was here with me, we had sensational superstars such as Hulk Hogan, Lex Luger, and Yokozuna here to talk about the famed world of professional wrestling.
Kelly: That Lex Luger used to make a high school Kelly all hot and bothered.
Regis: Kelly! I will be sure to let Mark know about this.
Kelly: He knows I love big strong men, that’s why I married him.
Regis: Well then this next guest is right up your alley young lady. He is a former champion and hell of a performer. He’s been known to really step it up and come through when the lights are on bright. Ladies and Gentleman, the future nCw Xtreme Champion….DANNY VICE!
The crowd on the set of Live explodes with cheers. The loudest demographic being middle aged women, who love Danny’s unique style, but more importantly, his chiseled good looks. Danny hits the stage and bows graciously before heading over and grabbing a seat next to Regis and Kelly.
Kelly: Yes, and all of that takes place in just a few days at their pay-per view known as Mindgames.
Regis: What do you think Mindgames means?
Kelly: Umm, I’m going to go out on a limb and say it has to do with someone messing with the mind of another person in order to form an advantage.
Regis: EXTRAORDINARY!
The crowd chuckles at the old man’s senility.
Kelly: Let me start off by saying my kids started watching nCw instead of those other wrestling companies when they heard you were the latest addition to their roster.
Regis: THE LITTLE RASCALS LOVE YA!
Kelly: Danny, please, tell us and our audience a little bit about yourself…
Danny looks a little nervous, but shrugs it off and smiles as he talks about his accomplishments.
Danny: Well, I came to the nCw because I felt like I needed a new challenge to really spicen up my career. In the past I’ve been relatively successful in each of the obstacles presented before me, and without a real challenge….
Regis: Kid, you don’t have to give us the cookie cutter response, tell us your real reason.
Danny: Well…(pause)…the real reason is to find truth. To find out what happened to my beloved Tiffany, who’s been missing for about a month now. I suspect someone inside the nCw is behind it, and I feel like the best way for me to find that truth is to investigate myself. This weekend, at Mindgames, I will be given an opportunity to not only display my abilities and willingness to compete, but also gain another piece of the puzzle that is the truth of Tiffany’s absence.
Kelly: That person being, Johnny Craven?
Danny: That’s for another time. Right now, I want to do a little dissecting on my first opponent, Reckoning.
Kelly: Of course, tell us a little bit about this man.
Danny: He’s less of a man than a monster. The guy is from what he claims are the mean streets of Chicago. Now, I respect Chicago. There’s been a lot of tough men to come out of there. Johnny No Nose. The Vice Lords. Anthony Spiltoro. Al Capone. It isn’t a place to be taken lightly, nor are the people who come from it. Except Reckoning. This wannabe white rapper comes into the nCw hipping and hopping about him repping up Chicago like he’s a somebody. The guy’s trying to put everyone else in the nCw on watch because he runs with Bizarre. Do you know who Bizarre is?
Regis: The Superman character?
Kelly: I have no idea.
Danny: Bizarre is the fat guy in D12. You know, the crew from Detroit that Eminem is the face of?
Kelly: I love Marshall, he’s a sweetheart.
Danny: Well yeah, so anyways. Reckoning is trying to put everyone on watch because he is friends with Bizarre and that he has some groupies who want to follow him. Reckonin, if you’re out there paying attention to me right now, listen carefully. No one wants to buy your record. Your music is terrible. Your lyrics…bland. You don’t scare anybody because you have a 300 pound gorilla as your “boy”. You’re not “down” with all the “homies and playas” making all us “whack pimps” shake in our little boots. And stop dropping names of wrestlers like Scotty 2 Hotty and Delirious like it’s going to add to your in ring repertoire and ability. We don’t fear you. We don’t even care to know you or learn anything about you. All of us. Me. Regis Philbin. The guy in row 3. The guy in row 3’s daddy. His mama, and his Grandma Jezebelle. Dr. Pepper doesn’t care who you are, Leonard Fox doesn’t care who you are, and Reckless Jack doesn’t care who you are. We all don’t care who you call friends and who you call foes. We don’t care that you can rhyme big words like…“king”. This business isn't about unimportant junk like that. This business is about competition. Athleticism. Drive. Motivation. I have stood in that ring with the best and left everythign inside. My abilities and talents are second to none in this very company they call nCw. There is no stopping me from getting to my goals. And I have the support of thousands and thousands of the most rabid fans in the world pushing me. Which is why, at Mindgames, while you're texting on your iPhone to see where K-Fed's hanging for his afterparty, I will be snapping your other arm back with my Vicelock. And their is NOTHING you can do about it.
Regis: I LOVE IT!
Kelly: Danny, thank you so much for coming! We'll be back after this commercial break with Taylor Hicks.