Post by Philip Burns on Apr 27, 2013 21:56:42 GMT -6
LAST WEEK ON TRAUMA
{Philip Burns defeats Caleb Lockwood via pinfall with Mike Honcho at ringside. Shortly after the match Mike gets in the ring to hug his friend only to turn his back on him with a low blow, leaving the crowd stunned and speechless. While Burns is hurting, Mike nails him with the Magic Trick! Burns is laid out and Mike stand over him. Honcho pulls something out of his jumpsuit. Its a fake mustache and industrial super glue! He lays the glue covered 'stache over Burns' upper lip! Good god he just 'stached him!}
(BACKSTAGE)
“What I just did to my so called best friend was a tragedy. A tragedy in that it took me this long to realize how big of an ego-maniacal jerk he is. A tragedy that I let him string me along as a joke for so long. I am wrestling royalty, Philip. I am not Jim to your Marlon Perkins, with you as always is Honcho. I’m Mike F'n Honcho. Diamond Dallas Honcho. My father Chris Diamond may not have been there all my life but between him and my uncle Rob its apparent I have just enough fighting DNA to kick the ass of a former world champion who is too big for his britches!
You talked about how at A Night to Remember the company was surely going to have something for you. You couldn’t dare commit to a tag match with me because all the executives would kiss your ass. Well congrats Phil, you finally have you match set. You big moment at A Night to Remember will be ME, the Magic Man vs your sorry broken down ass. So throw up the confetti and put on your stupid party hat to celebrate you last moment in nCw. Unfortunately it will be against a common lackey, the comedic fodder, the man with the “ratty 'stache”. The last time you even set foot in an nCw ring you will leave with a boot in your ass!
Everyone thinks I'm a harmless jokester but the truth is that I'm no angel. No I'm no stranger to the street. I've got my label, and I wont crumble at your feet. I'll be seeing you soon Philip. Real soon.”
{Honcho pulls out a huge burrito, takes one bite and throws it down before hopping on a moped and speeding off at a blazing 23 miles per hour.}
{Fade}
“What the F*CK? That’s all I could think as I lay there looking up at the lights. I think this is the first time Mike Honcho has even hurt anybody. And it was me... How embarrassing. I know two things for sure. My head hurts and I'm high off paint fumes. I roll on to the next show to fight Alex Jones with this stupid mustache painted on my face. Its bad enough that Jones is going to be there. The stupid factor was already incredibly high. Now this...
Maybe I was too hard on Honch and should have taken him seriously. The guy nearly won the world title once upon a time. He comes from a family of greats. His estranged sperm donor father Chris Diamond is a real maniac, and his Uncle Rob is infamous in the ring. His Uncle on his mothers side, Agent Orange is a revered promoter. Maybe I should have seen through the pile of Tab cola cans and realized the untapped potential.
I try not to let it get to me but it does tug at the heart strings. I never knew I thought so highly of Mike until right after his foot made contact with my balls. Its funny how that works. As far as what he said later about fighting me at A Night to Remember... No. I wont do it. I know Mike doesn’t have the capacity to hate. His heart is too big to be doing this on his own. Even his promo was the weakest heel work I have ever seen! I cant fight a man who has made me laugh so many times. Maybe I didn’t show it enough but he is a brother to me. I wont raise a hand to him...
It felt good to get a win though. Burning Angels' loss was a slight blemish on these final days but that is behind me now. I focus on to the next challenge. I personally feel it is in poor taste to repeat one's self for several years straight unlike some other people who have never been World Champion. So I will leave this message short and sweet. I do not like you, Alex Jones. Regardless of who wins on Collision, some of your blood will be on the mat. I'm sick and tired of the whining. I’m looking for a fight.”
{The scene opens with Burns checking his phone. He still has paint residue on his lip. He has two new snapchats from Mike Honcho. The first photo Mike is pointing at his own eyes. The second photo he is pointing into the camera, or more likely, Burns' soul. Phil looks around his hotel room fearing he is being spied upon. Out on his balcony he sees a shadow but upon a double take it is gone. Lightning strikes in the distance as Philip turns his back to the sliding glass door. In the flash of light we see Mike Honcho standing outside on the balcony then he is gone in an instant. Burns swings around to check for him but the balcony is empty.}
“I'm losing my damn mind.”
{Burns walks over the the desk and picks up a magazine. Upon further inspection it is the sports illustrated swim suit edition.}
“Well I can think of one way to relax...”
{He flips through the pages only to discover in horror that all the beautiful women have crude mustaches drawn on their faces with a sharpie. He frantically flips to the very last page then throws the magazine in disgust, dropping to his knees and cursing the heavens with a Darth Vader-like}
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
{The scene fades as Burns attempts to regroup himself.}
{Philip Burns defeats Caleb Lockwood via pinfall with Mike Honcho at ringside. Shortly after the match Mike gets in the ring to hug his friend only to turn his back on him with a low blow, leaving the crowd stunned and speechless. While Burns is hurting, Mike nails him with the Magic Trick! Burns is laid out and Mike stand over him. Honcho pulls something out of his jumpsuit. Its a fake mustache and industrial super glue! He lays the glue covered 'stache over Burns' upper lip! Good god he just 'stached him!}
(BACKSTAGE)
“What I just did to my so called best friend was a tragedy. A tragedy in that it took me this long to realize how big of an ego-maniacal jerk he is. A tragedy that I let him string me along as a joke for so long. I am wrestling royalty, Philip. I am not Jim to your Marlon Perkins, with you as always is Honcho. I’m Mike F'n Honcho. Diamond Dallas Honcho. My father Chris Diamond may not have been there all my life but between him and my uncle Rob its apparent I have just enough fighting DNA to kick the ass of a former world champion who is too big for his britches!
You talked about how at A Night to Remember the company was surely going to have something for you. You couldn’t dare commit to a tag match with me because all the executives would kiss your ass. Well congrats Phil, you finally have you match set. You big moment at A Night to Remember will be ME, the Magic Man vs your sorry broken down ass. So throw up the confetti and put on your stupid party hat to celebrate you last moment in nCw. Unfortunately it will be against a common lackey, the comedic fodder, the man with the “ratty 'stache”. The last time you even set foot in an nCw ring you will leave with a boot in your ass!
Everyone thinks I'm a harmless jokester but the truth is that I'm no angel. No I'm no stranger to the street. I've got my label, and I wont crumble at your feet. I'll be seeing you soon Philip. Real soon.”
{Honcho pulls out a huge burrito, takes one bite and throws it down before hopping on a moped and speeding off at a blazing 23 miles per hour.}
{Fade}
“What the F*CK? That’s all I could think as I lay there looking up at the lights. I think this is the first time Mike Honcho has even hurt anybody. And it was me... How embarrassing. I know two things for sure. My head hurts and I'm high off paint fumes. I roll on to the next show to fight Alex Jones with this stupid mustache painted on my face. Its bad enough that Jones is going to be there. The stupid factor was already incredibly high. Now this...
Maybe I was too hard on Honch and should have taken him seriously. The guy nearly won the world title once upon a time. He comes from a family of greats. His estranged sperm donor father Chris Diamond is a real maniac, and his Uncle Rob is infamous in the ring. His Uncle on his mothers side, Agent Orange is a revered promoter. Maybe I should have seen through the pile of Tab cola cans and realized the untapped potential.
I try not to let it get to me but it does tug at the heart strings. I never knew I thought so highly of Mike until right after his foot made contact with my balls. Its funny how that works. As far as what he said later about fighting me at A Night to Remember... No. I wont do it. I know Mike doesn’t have the capacity to hate. His heart is too big to be doing this on his own. Even his promo was the weakest heel work I have ever seen! I cant fight a man who has made me laugh so many times. Maybe I didn’t show it enough but he is a brother to me. I wont raise a hand to him...
It felt good to get a win though. Burning Angels' loss was a slight blemish on these final days but that is behind me now. I focus on to the next challenge. I personally feel it is in poor taste to repeat one's self for several years straight unlike some other people who have never been World Champion. So I will leave this message short and sweet. I do not like you, Alex Jones. Regardless of who wins on Collision, some of your blood will be on the mat. I'm sick and tired of the whining. I’m looking for a fight.”
{The scene opens with Burns checking his phone. He still has paint residue on his lip. He has two new snapchats from Mike Honcho. The first photo Mike is pointing at his own eyes. The second photo he is pointing into the camera, or more likely, Burns' soul. Phil looks around his hotel room fearing he is being spied upon. Out on his balcony he sees a shadow but upon a double take it is gone. Lightning strikes in the distance as Philip turns his back to the sliding glass door. In the flash of light we see Mike Honcho standing outside on the balcony then he is gone in an instant. Burns swings around to check for him but the balcony is empty.}
“I'm losing my damn mind.”
{Burns walks over the the desk and picks up a magazine. Upon further inspection it is the sports illustrated swim suit edition.}
“Well I can think of one way to relax...”
{He flips through the pages only to discover in horror that all the beautiful women have crude mustaches drawn on their faces with a sharpie. He frantically flips to the very last page then throws the magazine in disgust, dropping to his knees and cursing the heavens with a Darth Vader-like}
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
{The scene fades as Burns attempts to regroup himself.}