Post by Rob Diamond on May 13, 2013 13:03:39 GMT -6
We open up to a close up of my sexy smile, filming this face from the outside of a local cinema. Pan back to reveal my sharp attire for the evening, a little something something I like to call the "K-Fed."
"The more things change the more they stay the same, ain't that right Daye? I mean, here we are in 2013 and you still fall back on the coveted old "NOBODY REALLY LIKES YOU ANYWAYS!!!!!" routine when you have nothing of any actual value to say. Wow, you really know how to cut me to the quick Daye, I mean I almost.... ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLMOST gave a ****. "
The hand full of people around me sense the sarcasm and aren't surprised that I didn't.
"No, seriously. It almost mattered to me what you thought. But here's the thing kid, your not god, you don't know what everybody thinks and the real kicker... I DON'T CARE!!!! I'm a bad guy numb nuts, a pure bred asshole with an attitude to match and what you or anyone else think about me or what I've done really means NOTHING TO ME! I'm a put it to you like my dad used to put it to me when I worked for him as a kid..."
Zoom in for my close up Mr. DeDouche.
"I ain't here to be your damn friend. I'm here to work. And my job is being the mother trucking best damn wrestler on the planet, Simon. Something you wouldn't know jack **** about because the only thing you've ever been the best at is being Gib's nut holder while he dominated a division that hasn't had a single real tag team in it since Dirty Deal broke up."
*Clap*Clap*
"Your cookie tray of medal shaped cookies is on it's way, Daye."
As if I'd back cookies for that fruit.
"See, while you were busy announcing Trauma and dreaming of being the best, I had a ***damn choke hold on the main event of NCW from 2009 all the way until 2011. So honestly it isn't a damn surprise to me that people were happy when I left because that means a GIGANTIC HOLE just opened up in the main event of this company. Tell me kid, did you reach up and grab that brass ring I left there or did you curl up into the fetal position and continue to not matter to anyone anywhere ever? Oh really? You continued to not matter? That's awesome Daye. Real awesome. So after I took my ball you failed to do anything except what you were already doing, being the blood sucking piss ant you already were. Congrats. I'm glad you're happy knowing that when this company closes it's going to close remembering you as being present for Gib's hall of fame induction."
He'll be the guy holding Gib's balls, FYI.
"See, while you were a stuttering little **** on trauma, I was making a name for myself. I was beating main event talent, hall of fame wrestlers, world champions and gladiators, I wasn't just pissing in people's corn flakes I was proving every damn word of everything I said right up until I became the world champion. And how people view my reign doesn't mean a damn thing to me, Daye, because it's one more NCW World Championship that I have that most of you muttering ass wipes don't. So while it may be cool to hang around the water cooler with Caleb Lockwood and Mike Laszlo and bitch about the politics of Steve Awesome and I running roughshod over this company for so long I'm just gonna go ahead and take what I dropped a year ago and finish off my NCW career the way I started it."
Smirk.
"As the best."
Hope Daye isn't too busy crying, this last thing is important.
"And this last part you gotta really pay attention to because I'm only going to say this once. I didn't ruin anything between you and Zelda. Hell, she didn't even wanna meet up for coffee until you became a possessive little worm. YOU RUINED IT. You ruined everything. That girl loved you and you threw it away like an insecure little prick, just like you threw away your tag team title reign the second you laid your hands on Steve and I. So good job Daye... You're your own worst enemy."
I'm sure the truth freaking hurts but he's gonna have to nut up and deal with it, we ain't got time for another one of his depressing ass promos. Depressing in the way watching an emo freak cut himself is, in that it's just sad that this person is allowed to live.
Now to the main attraction for the evening, the ravishing Zelda Knite comes a strutting my way from the parking lot. I flip the cam and get a quick scan of her delicious body in that "red shirt" and jeans. Girl makes any outfit look fantastic.
"Hey Rob."
"Sup Zee. So you ready to see Star Trek?"
"Hell yeah. How'd you get tickets a week early anyway?"
"I'm magic."
She laughs as I gently place my hand on her back and we head inside. Once in there I get the biggest damn tub of popcorn I can and just cover that thing in salt and butter. Zelda sticks out her tongue and makes a damn cute face.
"Gross."
"Just the way I like it."
She giggles. So do I. Not just because of her but because I think anyone who could let this girl get away is retarded. Myself included. We grab our seats in the theater and wait for the movie to start. I look over at her and smile.
"So..."
"Rob..."
"What?"
"Remember what we talked about the other day?"
Crap.
"Yeah..."
"I just wanted to be clear on that, we're friends."
"Yeah, yeah I know."
"Well it just seems like, I don't know, like maybe you want something more."
"What if I do?"
"I'm with Cross."
"And you were with Daye before, may not be forever."
"Rob, we had a pretty bad break up."
"I know, it's just..."
Dammit... She's got that look...
"I still care about you."
"I know Rob and I care about you, that's why we're trying to be friends and get passed what happened."
"Yeah well maybe I more than care about you."
"Rob..."
"Do you more than care about me still?"
"I don't know Rob, you hurt me. You walked out on me."
"You were going to help Adam and Kelly take over NCW!"
"I know."
"I couldn't be a part of that."
"That's why we didn't ask you to be."
Ouch, old wounds suddenly open.
"Rob, I care about you, we're friends, but that's it."
"I know... I'm sorry..."
"It's fine I just don't want you to get the wrong idea."
"I won't..."
Awkward silence ending in three, two, one.
"Let just try and enjoy the movie together, like friends, kay Zee?"
"Sure."
Well that was almost as fun as some asshole telling you JOHN HARRISON IS KHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! before you even see the movie.
spoiler warning....
Sucks doesn't it? Anyway, when the move wraps we both go our own ways. I hop in my POS rental for the evening a little sadder than where I started but still pumped I saw the movie first, bitches and start to head back to the roach motel. I mount my little iphone on the dash and press that little red button, got a few things I'd like to say to old Gibbers.
"Hello Gib. Look Gib, like me or hate me, I've got nothing against you right now. My problem is entirely with your blood sucking tag team partner. So I'm going to put it to you like this. When you and me are in that ring together, let's do it old school. No blood feuds. No death threats. No crazy ****. Just two men. David and Goliath. Fighting it out for the right to call themselves the best there is on the last show in the history of NCW. Because honestly, it's going to be nice to actually wrestle someone after I get done bashing in Simon's brains against the ring post."
Personally, as much I love the way gold accentuates my eyes, I'd rather end the night covered in another man's crimson.
"But can I ask you a question? How do you tolerate that worm? I mean honestly. How do you stand side by side with him and help him win this match after what he did to Zelda? I mean, I did EVERYTHING for that girl. I treated her like a Queen, bought her a house, was going to put my selfish needs aside to start a family with her. Simon called her a whore. And yet, back when I was hitting that you used to constantly get in between us because you didn't trust me and there I see you, at Simon's side. I mean, is gold REALLY that important to you? Is ending your career in NCW with a piece of gold around your waist really more important than your daughter's honor? I mean, I don't wanna sit here on my high horse and act like a white knight or anything but generally I thought more of you than that Gibbers. I used to think you were a man of honor who occasionally wore a hockey mask and raped people half his size for fun."
Sport my best sad face, the kind a parent gives their kid when their pretty disappointed in the messed up decision they just made.
"I used to think you were cool. Well, if that be the case then I'm sorry to hear being that scum sucking bag of piss and moaner's partner is more important than standing up for your daughter. Sorry if that was a low blow but you can imagine after the last couple of weeks I'm not in a particularly good mood anymore. I mean, when I came back to NCW I was really hoping to finish out my time here on a high note. Wash the bad taste I left in every bodies mouths out and just really do the right thing for a change. Then Simon cost me a match or two. Jumped me from behind like a vagina cavity. And now all I really care about is seeing what color his insides are. I mean, I'm not usually a dark and sadistic person. Generally I like to try and have as much fun at someone else's expense as possible but after the last couple of weeks I'm thinking about taking a page out of my former brother in law Angel's book and cutting that little ****'s throat."
Don't have to wear a mask to get a little crazy...
"So excuse my bad attitude and possibly underhanded shots at your manhood but I think you can understand. You've been in this business a long time. You know what it's all about. I'm sure you've been through my exact situation at least thirty times since the 80's and I'm sure you handled it like a gentlemen. I'm not a gentlemen. I'm an asshole. I'm not a "good" guy. I'm everything you ever said I was Gib. There isn't a person in this business who means more to me than myself and I will do anything to see myself in the spot light. So lets do each other a favor and try not to make it personal between you and me. When it comes to us, we wrestle, we see whose better and then we carry on with our lives because I promise you Gib... Promise you... Look me in the eye when I say this..."
I lean in real close to the cam and pretty much hiss.
"I will END Simon Daye at A Night to Remember and there isn't a ***damn thing you can do about it. So PLEASE, for Zelda's sake, just get the hell out of my way. I'd prefer if her father didn't become a casualty of this war. Kay?"
I lean back and smile.
"Glad we're clear on that. See ya Sunday."
Now that I'm finished I can finally get some rest. I'm pretty tired so I don't even notice the door to my room is open when I step in, I do however notice the douchebag sitting in the chair in the corner of my room...
"Evening Rob."
Jack... That spine less son of a bitch who thinks he's raising my kid.
"Jack."
"Have a good time tonight?"
"The hell do you want?"
The blonde haired Ryan Gosling looking dick gets up and walks over to me.
"I wanted to wish you luck for this Sunday."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. See, I caught wind of how much you stand to make if you capture those tag team titles and well you're going to have to excuse me if six digits catches my attention."
"Don't matter how much I make, I read the damn support papers, you'r not getting a cent."
"Actually that's where you're wrong Rob."
Think if I kill him near the boarder they'd assume Mexicans did it?
"I'm going to get every last cent..."
"Or what?"
"Or you will be paying for a very, very, very tiny casket."
That's it. I jaw jack this mother trucker like there's no tomorrow and pounce on his skinny ass on the floor.
"Go ahead, kick my ass, isn't going to stop me. I know where Hope is. I can see her whenever I want. You, on the other hand, can't! So hit me. Hit me all you want."
"You son of a bitch!"
"Maybe. Now get off!"
Choke him. Choke him to freaking death. Choke him and ditch him somewhere and then steal my kid and... I get off of him and drop down on the bed...
"Good boy. Now go win daddy some gold."
He leaves...
A few minutes go by before I pull my iphone out of my pocket. I look at it for a second, smirking before dropping my catch phrase like an atomic bomb.
"Suck it."
And stop the recording.
"The more things change the more they stay the same, ain't that right Daye? I mean, here we are in 2013 and you still fall back on the coveted old "NOBODY REALLY LIKES YOU ANYWAYS!!!!!" routine when you have nothing of any actual value to say. Wow, you really know how to cut me to the quick Daye, I mean I almost.... ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLMOST gave a ****. "
The hand full of people around me sense the sarcasm and aren't surprised that I didn't.
"No, seriously. It almost mattered to me what you thought. But here's the thing kid, your not god, you don't know what everybody thinks and the real kicker... I DON'T CARE!!!! I'm a bad guy numb nuts, a pure bred asshole with an attitude to match and what you or anyone else think about me or what I've done really means NOTHING TO ME! I'm a put it to you like my dad used to put it to me when I worked for him as a kid..."
Zoom in for my close up Mr. DeDouche.
"I ain't here to be your damn friend. I'm here to work. And my job is being the mother trucking best damn wrestler on the planet, Simon. Something you wouldn't know jack **** about because the only thing you've ever been the best at is being Gib's nut holder while he dominated a division that hasn't had a single real tag team in it since Dirty Deal broke up."
*Clap*Clap*
"Your cookie tray of medal shaped cookies is on it's way, Daye."
As if I'd back cookies for that fruit.
"See, while you were busy announcing Trauma and dreaming of being the best, I had a ***damn choke hold on the main event of NCW from 2009 all the way until 2011. So honestly it isn't a damn surprise to me that people were happy when I left because that means a GIGANTIC HOLE just opened up in the main event of this company. Tell me kid, did you reach up and grab that brass ring I left there or did you curl up into the fetal position and continue to not matter to anyone anywhere ever? Oh really? You continued to not matter? That's awesome Daye. Real awesome. So after I took my ball you failed to do anything except what you were already doing, being the blood sucking piss ant you already were. Congrats. I'm glad you're happy knowing that when this company closes it's going to close remembering you as being present for Gib's hall of fame induction."
He'll be the guy holding Gib's balls, FYI.
"See, while you were a stuttering little **** on trauma, I was making a name for myself. I was beating main event talent, hall of fame wrestlers, world champions and gladiators, I wasn't just pissing in people's corn flakes I was proving every damn word of everything I said right up until I became the world champion. And how people view my reign doesn't mean a damn thing to me, Daye, because it's one more NCW World Championship that I have that most of you muttering ass wipes don't. So while it may be cool to hang around the water cooler with Caleb Lockwood and Mike Laszlo and bitch about the politics of Steve Awesome and I running roughshod over this company for so long I'm just gonna go ahead and take what I dropped a year ago and finish off my NCW career the way I started it."
Smirk.
"As the best."
Hope Daye isn't too busy crying, this last thing is important.
"And this last part you gotta really pay attention to because I'm only going to say this once. I didn't ruin anything between you and Zelda. Hell, she didn't even wanna meet up for coffee until you became a possessive little worm. YOU RUINED IT. You ruined everything. That girl loved you and you threw it away like an insecure little prick, just like you threw away your tag team title reign the second you laid your hands on Steve and I. So good job Daye... You're your own worst enemy."
I'm sure the truth freaking hurts but he's gonna have to nut up and deal with it, we ain't got time for another one of his depressing ass promos. Depressing in the way watching an emo freak cut himself is, in that it's just sad that this person is allowed to live.
Now to the main attraction for the evening, the ravishing Zelda Knite comes a strutting my way from the parking lot. I flip the cam and get a quick scan of her delicious body in that "red shirt" and jeans. Girl makes any outfit look fantastic.
"Hey Rob."
"Sup Zee. So you ready to see Star Trek?"
"Hell yeah. How'd you get tickets a week early anyway?"
"I'm magic."
She laughs as I gently place my hand on her back and we head inside. Once in there I get the biggest damn tub of popcorn I can and just cover that thing in salt and butter. Zelda sticks out her tongue and makes a damn cute face.
"Gross."
"Just the way I like it."
She giggles. So do I. Not just because of her but because I think anyone who could let this girl get away is retarded. Myself included. We grab our seats in the theater and wait for the movie to start. I look over at her and smile.
"So..."
"Rob..."
"What?"
"Remember what we talked about the other day?"
Crap.
"Yeah..."
"I just wanted to be clear on that, we're friends."
"Yeah, yeah I know."
"Well it just seems like, I don't know, like maybe you want something more."
"What if I do?"
"I'm with Cross."
"And you were with Daye before, may not be forever."
"Rob, we had a pretty bad break up."
"I know, it's just..."
Dammit... She's got that look...
"I still care about you."
"I know Rob and I care about you, that's why we're trying to be friends and get passed what happened."
"Yeah well maybe I more than care about you."
"Rob..."
"Do you more than care about me still?"
"I don't know Rob, you hurt me. You walked out on me."
"You were going to help Adam and Kelly take over NCW!"
"I know."
"I couldn't be a part of that."
"That's why we didn't ask you to be."
Ouch, old wounds suddenly open.
"Rob, I care about you, we're friends, but that's it."
"I know... I'm sorry..."
"It's fine I just don't want you to get the wrong idea."
"I won't..."
Awkward silence ending in three, two, one.
"Let just try and enjoy the movie together, like friends, kay Zee?"
"Sure."
Well that was almost as fun as some asshole telling you JOHN HARRISON IS KHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! before you even see the movie.
spoiler warning....
Sucks doesn't it? Anyway, when the move wraps we both go our own ways. I hop in my POS rental for the evening a little sadder than where I started but still pumped I saw the movie first, bitches and start to head back to the roach motel. I mount my little iphone on the dash and press that little red button, got a few things I'd like to say to old Gibbers.
"Hello Gib. Look Gib, like me or hate me, I've got nothing against you right now. My problem is entirely with your blood sucking tag team partner. So I'm going to put it to you like this. When you and me are in that ring together, let's do it old school. No blood feuds. No death threats. No crazy ****. Just two men. David and Goliath. Fighting it out for the right to call themselves the best there is on the last show in the history of NCW. Because honestly, it's going to be nice to actually wrestle someone after I get done bashing in Simon's brains against the ring post."
Personally, as much I love the way gold accentuates my eyes, I'd rather end the night covered in another man's crimson.
"But can I ask you a question? How do you tolerate that worm? I mean honestly. How do you stand side by side with him and help him win this match after what he did to Zelda? I mean, I did EVERYTHING for that girl. I treated her like a Queen, bought her a house, was going to put my selfish needs aside to start a family with her. Simon called her a whore. And yet, back when I was hitting that you used to constantly get in between us because you didn't trust me and there I see you, at Simon's side. I mean, is gold REALLY that important to you? Is ending your career in NCW with a piece of gold around your waist really more important than your daughter's honor? I mean, I don't wanna sit here on my high horse and act like a white knight or anything but generally I thought more of you than that Gibbers. I used to think you were a man of honor who occasionally wore a hockey mask and raped people half his size for fun."
Sport my best sad face, the kind a parent gives their kid when their pretty disappointed in the messed up decision they just made.
"I used to think you were cool. Well, if that be the case then I'm sorry to hear being that scum sucking bag of piss and moaner's partner is more important than standing up for your daughter. Sorry if that was a low blow but you can imagine after the last couple of weeks I'm not in a particularly good mood anymore. I mean, when I came back to NCW I was really hoping to finish out my time here on a high note. Wash the bad taste I left in every bodies mouths out and just really do the right thing for a change. Then Simon cost me a match or two. Jumped me from behind like a vagina cavity. And now all I really care about is seeing what color his insides are. I mean, I'm not usually a dark and sadistic person. Generally I like to try and have as much fun at someone else's expense as possible but after the last couple of weeks I'm thinking about taking a page out of my former brother in law Angel's book and cutting that little ****'s throat."
Don't have to wear a mask to get a little crazy...
"So excuse my bad attitude and possibly underhanded shots at your manhood but I think you can understand. You've been in this business a long time. You know what it's all about. I'm sure you've been through my exact situation at least thirty times since the 80's and I'm sure you handled it like a gentlemen. I'm not a gentlemen. I'm an asshole. I'm not a "good" guy. I'm everything you ever said I was Gib. There isn't a person in this business who means more to me than myself and I will do anything to see myself in the spot light. So lets do each other a favor and try not to make it personal between you and me. When it comes to us, we wrestle, we see whose better and then we carry on with our lives because I promise you Gib... Promise you... Look me in the eye when I say this..."
I lean in real close to the cam and pretty much hiss.
"I will END Simon Daye at A Night to Remember and there isn't a ***damn thing you can do about it. So PLEASE, for Zelda's sake, just get the hell out of my way. I'd prefer if her father didn't become a casualty of this war. Kay?"
I lean back and smile.
"Glad we're clear on that. See ya Sunday."
Now that I'm finished I can finally get some rest. I'm pretty tired so I don't even notice the door to my room is open when I step in, I do however notice the douchebag sitting in the chair in the corner of my room...
"Evening Rob."
Jack... That spine less son of a bitch who thinks he's raising my kid.
"Jack."
"Have a good time tonight?"
"The hell do you want?"
The blonde haired Ryan Gosling looking dick gets up and walks over to me.
"I wanted to wish you luck for this Sunday."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah. See, I caught wind of how much you stand to make if you capture those tag team titles and well you're going to have to excuse me if six digits catches my attention."
"Don't matter how much I make, I read the damn support papers, you'r not getting a cent."
"Actually that's where you're wrong Rob."
Think if I kill him near the boarder they'd assume Mexicans did it?
"I'm going to get every last cent..."
"Or what?"
"Or you will be paying for a very, very, very tiny casket."
That's it. I jaw jack this mother trucker like there's no tomorrow and pounce on his skinny ass on the floor.
"Go ahead, kick my ass, isn't going to stop me. I know where Hope is. I can see her whenever I want. You, on the other hand, can't! So hit me. Hit me all you want."
"You son of a bitch!"
"Maybe. Now get off!"
Choke him. Choke him to freaking death. Choke him and ditch him somewhere and then steal my kid and... I get off of him and drop down on the bed...
"Good boy. Now go win daddy some gold."
He leaves...
A few minutes go by before I pull my iphone out of my pocket. I look at it for a second, smirking before dropping my catch phrase like an atomic bomb.
"Suck it."
And stop the recording.