Post by destroyyou555 on Apr 4, 2008 17:46:08 GMT -6
The scene opens to total darkness, no lights, no picture, no static, just the sound of some crappy hip hop song, being remixed with a Techno theme….as the beat continues to pick up, a picture begins to show for a brief second, before going back to darkness, continuing to do so, as the beat picks up, until we get the full picture, all that is seen is a couch, with zebra print on it, You have properly seen something very similar in porno movies, you can also see the bottom section of some person, as the view shows a pair of pants, bright yellow with blue flames going along the sides, it such a horrible fashion statement, with a pair of pants like that, There is only one being in the universe that would want to be seen in public wearing them., unluckily for you, You now have to sit thru another Trent Helms promo that will make little sense, and will leaving you banging your head against a nearby inanimate object, hoping it ends soon.
I’m Trent Helms and I am not held down by the 4th wall, I will break thru and say anything and everything I want, as well as taking your pop culture media and making a mockery of it….That’s the Trent Helms way, but we’re get back to that.
A being wearing a ridiculous suit comes up to Trent Helms.
Sire…I think you going to want to see this.
What is it, unnamed henchman number 1?
Just come and see, right down there on a couch..
Helms gets up and look over the railing, looking down to reveal a club, where everyone and dancing to the music, as several under dressed bimbo move and groove, where drugs and alcohol are being consumed, Helms look down to see a nCw cameraman in the middle of a pack, falling to the ground, before scurrying to the side, that is when Trent Helms notices, Steve Awesome sitting on a nearby couch….
Awesome says Trent who is glaring down Steve….
Your day will be coming soon my friend, but first I’ll be taking care of your troublesome leader at a Night to Remember.
So here we are mammals, primates and demons, Another nCw show about to take place on pay per view, from the center of Boomer Sooner nation….please kill me if I ever repeat that line again…And the card is packed, like you expected anything else from a nCw pay per view. Joe Everyman will defend the National Championship in a triple threat match against the biggest disappointment nCw has ever had in John Anthony, as well as a JFK, who is hoping not to magically get struck with a magic bullet…people say Everyman reign comes to a end…but I think some how, The Primate will defy the odds to some how retain…
Then Ortega better half, in the Smokin Aces are set to defend the Tag Titles against Spike And Brad….I remember one time, they teamed together…everyone figured them to be so highly up on the food chain, and some guy…beat them….I wonder who that was….The sad part is…I should have been the one inside the tag match…Not The Ace…and not The Age Of The Revolution, as I still hold on to my rightful shot at a given point to challenge for those titles…I’ll address that later…I would figure you would want my opinion on this one….The less I say about the four men…The better, and I’ll be moving like the chorus to Sweet Dreams are made of this…
Then the match everyone is talking about….possibly Lance Ryan last match as he defends the nCw Championship against Dave Holland….You would think Lance would throw my name out there, to say Thank You…for helping me win my last match…Thank You for marking out for me…Thank You for not giving Herpes to Kelly Fox….He could of said Thank You for something, instead the primate seems to be trying to convince his fellow primates, He’s not a bad guy…maybe he’s hoping to hear a Thank You Lance chant as he leaves…We know how you primate are…They will be ready to chant…Hey..Hey…Good Bye in your general direction, Then I remember…You’re facing Dave Holland, guess we’re be seeing you around next month….where I hopefully get the chance to retire you, once and for all.
There are other matches, but not worthy of mention…well except one…the one match, that will steal the show, and cause people to forget…Lance Ryan is defending the nCw Championship, or that The Age Of The Revolution is trying to dethrone The Smokin Aces….What match is that…
Silly Faggots (I know…I just got fined,, and G.L.A.D will be sending me a nasty message, but who cares) what other match could that be…
How about the one where, Davey Ortega get’s turned into a member of the Viva Piñata cartoon cast, when I beat him until he decides to pop. The one that I instantly turn into the most violent and sadistic display of a primate getting beaten for a inch of his life, since the L.A.P.D nearly killed Rodney King, in a match where there are no rules other then….beat Ortega down, have him begging on his knees for me to give a decisive blow, sending him into a state of shock, while I go and touch four turnbuckle, and put him out of his misery, once and for all…
I can already hear what you’re wanting to say to me…You won’t back down…You have officially lost it….That Trent Helms is a little…DEE DEE DEE!
Everyone seems to think that, don’t they…How I can’t match wits with someone who borders insanity and genius, I have done so repeatly, I nearly took your so called Transformation you archived two months ago, and rendered it useless primate…It was only by a miscalculation on my part, you were able to survive…This time, with you attached to my wrist…I won’t make that same mistake…I know deep down, You would want to lure me, to take the same leap of fate that cost me our match two months ago, You would want to lure me into the same state of security, I was feeling when I launched myself in your general direction, before it became, take a intergalactic being home with you night, in the audience.
If that’s what you’re planning, then it’s a good one…Everyone know what the secret behind my offense is, I come at you hard and I come at you fast, without caring about the temporary pain I’m going to cause myself by doing a somersault over the top rope, or waiting for you to climb to your feet before jumping to the middle, the top rope, before blindly firing at you from the sky, I will admit however, since I came back, I have been a little hesitant to jump to the top rope to punish whoever was in front of me, which for the most part has been you, with Holland there slightly, but this strap match does play into your advantage despite I’m nearly one hundred percent, while you are struggling to still recover from our last few battles, with the scars I have left on your flesh, a token that, I absolutely own you, you filthy pickle sucking primate, but there are the scars of having to deal with the Age Of The Revolution, a fate that I was smart enough to avoid for myself…something you should of took notes from.
But you asked the question last week, what would become of Trent Helms, after the temporary union between myself and The Age Of The Revolution ended, that is indeed a great question primate, and one I would be happy to answer….
What is my fate?
To defeat you once again, like I did, just five days ago, to put a damaging blow on the ego of nCw favorite underachiever, First I want to destroy your pride, by defeating you on the biggest stage in nCw history, then I’m going to lead the empire…your empire as my vessel into the reaches of what only two men have been able to do in this promotion…carry the nCw championship, something you have had time and time again to do, and failed, It’s my time now, and I’m going to prove it this Sunday, as I punish you for your crimes of Treason and stupidity, your punishment….A severe lashing, extreme amounts of your blood being spilt at my feet, and a Close Encounter Of The 630 Kind…
I’m going to take it all from you, tell me what you cherish most in this world? Your face that is known to grace the cover of Forbes and G.Q? What is the one thing you hold closest to you, so I can have the satisfaction of taking it away from you!
You have everything to lose here, and nothing to gain, other then the fact, that if I were to suffer defeat once again, I would back away from you, and let you finish out what is left of your laughable career in peace, something that I know you would care to do, you would love it, If you could stop watching over your shoulder, looking to the skies, staring at the stars, and known, Trent Helms isn’t going to be coming to you broken into nothing, It would allow you to focus upon the Age Of The Revolution like you were hoping you would be able to do, before I returned, letting them be your meal ticket back into the main event…
Tell me Davey, How badly would you want that?
To have Trent Helms just allow you to be?
To Have Trent Helms helping you out in a war, he just clearly doesn’t care about, I mean why I should? Two Primate groups battling it out for months upon end, until I decide to step in and take over this planet all together, You can try to save nCw from The Age of The Revolution, They can try to purify all the helpless souls on this planet, I will continue not to care, all I want is the hostile takeover that is fore coming in the next few months, to enslave your species, to watch them dance from just the slightest sound of my lips, to watch them degrade myself for my pure amusement, why should I join your cause, or theirs when my plan for intergalactic domination is so much greater.
I have no reason to join, to fight your cause Ortega, but for my amusement, I will give you one chance, one chance under my terms as if I help nCw fight this plague you call The Age Of The Revolution, All it takes it one thing….You.
You’re properly looking at your pride and joy, that thing you mammals call a opposable thumb and asking, what do you have to do, for that to happen.
I’ll tell you, there is only one being in this promotion who should be able to call himself emperor, It isn’t you porch monkey, It’s Trent Helms, so you want my help, You hand your empire over to me immediately, I’ll even let you stick around, along with Jason to be my own personal pets, to watch after my prehistoric friend that you had a run in with, this past week, give me the keys to your empire or else.
Or else what you say?
Oh My God…It’s time for Trent Helms to start saying something that is stupid and pointless, and has no baring on the match what so ever, He’s about to pull a Ultimate Warrior.
So let me tell you a story Ortega, about a empire, well it was more like a village, but for storyline purposes, I will call it a empire.
There was this Empire (Which in reality was a village) that was hoping to expand and move on with the rest of the world, then one night, something came, and something called Trodgor came along.
What was this something, some say it was a Man, some other people say it was a Dragon Man, or maybe he was a Dragon,
But regardless he was known by one name….HE WAS TROGDOR!!!!
Anyways, one night, Trogdor came and unleashed burnination upon this empire, crippling it, killing all the Pleasants and everything else….
Point of this story (There’s a point in something so stupid?)
Give me control over your empire, or face Burnination from the hottest act in the universe, and the official president to the Freezepop Fan Club.
But this Sunday, I torment your flesh, and give you all the attention that you think you so rightfully deserve, I’m going to pay attention to each and every detail, ripping your flesh, whipping you like the damn dirty filthy primate you are, until you decide to leave my presence….
Why?
Because I’m Trent Helms
(Who)
And I’m Out Of This World
(What)
I’m Trent Helms
(Who)
And I’m finally going to finish you off.
I’m Trent Helms and I am not held down by the 4th wall, I will break thru and say anything and everything I want, as well as taking your pop culture media and making a mockery of it….That’s the Trent Helms way, but we’re get back to that.
A being wearing a ridiculous suit comes up to Trent Helms.
Sire…I think you going to want to see this.
What is it, unnamed henchman number 1?
Just come and see, right down there on a couch..
Helms gets up and look over the railing, looking down to reveal a club, where everyone and dancing to the music, as several under dressed bimbo move and groove, where drugs and alcohol are being consumed, Helms look down to see a nCw cameraman in the middle of a pack, falling to the ground, before scurrying to the side, that is when Trent Helms notices, Steve Awesome sitting on a nearby couch….
Awesome says Trent who is glaring down Steve….
Your day will be coming soon my friend, but first I’ll be taking care of your troublesome leader at a Night to Remember.
So here we are mammals, primates and demons, Another nCw show about to take place on pay per view, from the center of Boomer Sooner nation….please kill me if I ever repeat that line again…And the card is packed, like you expected anything else from a nCw pay per view. Joe Everyman will defend the National Championship in a triple threat match against the biggest disappointment nCw has ever had in John Anthony, as well as a JFK, who is hoping not to magically get struck with a magic bullet…people say Everyman reign comes to a end…but I think some how, The Primate will defy the odds to some how retain…
Then Ortega better half, in the Smokin Aces are set to defend the Tag Titles against Spike And Brad….I remember one time, they teamed together…everyone figured them to be so highly up on the food chain, and some guy…beat them….I wonder who that was….The sad part is…I should have been the one inside the tag match…Not The Ace…and not The Age Of The Revolution, as I still hold on to my rightful shot at a given point to challenge for those titles…I’ll address that later…I would figure you would want my opinion on this one….The less I say about the four men…The better, and I’ll be moving like the chorus to Sweet Dreams are made of this…
Then the match everyone is talking about….possibly Lance Ryan last match as he defends the nCw Championship against Dave Holland….You would think Lance would throw my name out there, to say Thank You…for helping me win my last match…Thank You for marking out for me…Thank You for not giving Herpes to Kelly Fox….He could of said Thank You for something, instead the primate seems to be trying to convince his fellow primates, He’s not a bad guy…maybe he’s hoping to hear a Thank You Lance chant as he leaves…We know how you primate are…They will be ready to chant…Hey..Hey…Good Bye in your general direction, Then I remember…You’re facing Dave Holland, guess we’re be seeing you around next month….where I hopefully get the chance to retire you, once and for all.
There are other matches, but not worthy of mention…well except one…the one match, that will steal the show, and cause people to forget…Lance Ryan is defending the nCw Championship, or that The Age Of The Revolution is trying to dethrone The Smokin Aces….What match is that…
Silly Faggots (I know…I just got fined,, and G.L.A.D will be sending me a nasty message, but who cares) what other match could that be…
How about the one where, Davey Ortega get’s turned into a member of the Viva Piñata cartoon cast, when I beat him until he decides to pop. The one that I instantly turn into the most violent and sadistic display of a primate getting beaten for a inch of his life, since the L.A.P.D nearly killed Rodney King, in a match where there are no rules other then….beat Ortega down, have him begging on his knees for me to give a decisive blow, sending him into a state of shock, while I go and touch four turnbuckle, and put him out of his misery, once and for all…
I can already hear what you’re wanting to say to me…You won’t back down…You have officially lost it….That Trent Helms is a little…DEE DEE DEE!
Everyone seems to think that, don’t they…How I can’t match wits with someone who borders insanity and genius, I have done so repeatly, I nearly took your so called Transformation you archived two months ago, and rendered it useless primate…It was only by a miscalculation on my part, you were able to survive…This time, with you attached to my wrist…I won’t make that same mistake…I know deep down, You would want to lure me, to take the same leap of fate that cost me our match two months ago, You would want to lure me into the same state of security, I was feeling when I launched myself in your general direction, before it became, take a intergalactic being home with you night, in the audience.
If that’s what you’re planning, then it’s a good one…Everyone know what the secret behind my offense is, I come at you hard and I come at you fast, without caring about the temporary pain I’m going to cause myself by doing a somersault over the top rope, or waiting for you to climb to your feet before jumping to the middle, the top rope, before blindly firing at you from the sky, I will admit however, since I came back, I have been a little hesitant to jump to the top rope to punish whoever was in front of me, which for the most part has been you, with Holland there slightly, but this strap match does play into your advantage despite I’m nearly one hundred percent, while you are struggling to still recover from our last few battles, with the scars I have left on your flesh, a token that, I absolutely own you, you filthy pickle sucking primate, but there are the scars of having to deal with the Age Of The Revolution, a fate that I was smart enough to avoid for myself…something you should of took notes from.
But you asked the question last week, what would become of Trent Helms, after the temporary union between myself and The Age Of The Revolution ended, that is indeed a great question primate, and one I would be happy to answer….
What is my fate?
To defeat you once again, like I did, just five days ago, to put a damaging blow on the ego of nCw favorite underachiever, First I want to destroy your pride, by defeating you on the biggest stage in nCw history, then I’m going to lead the empire…your empire as my vessel into the reaches of what only two men have been able to do in this promotion…carry the nCw championship, something you have had time and time again to do, and failed, It’s my time now, and I’m going to prove it this Sunday, as I punish you for your crimes of Treason and stupidity, your punishment….A severe lashing, extreme amounts of your blood being spilt at my feet, and a Close Encounter Of The 630 Kind…
I’m going to take it all from you, tell me what you cherish most in this world? Your face that is known to grace the cover of Forbes and G.Q? What is the one thing you hold closest to you, so I can have the satisfaction of taking it away from you!
You have everything to lose here, and nothing to gain, other then the fact, that if I were to suffer defeat once again, I would back away from you, and let you finish out what is left of your laughable career in peace, something that I know you would care to do, you would love it, If you could stop watching over your shoulder, looking to the skies, staring at the stars, and known, Trent Helms isn’t going to be coming to you broken into nothing, It would allow you to focus upon the Age Of The Revolution like you were hoping you would be able to do, before I returned, letting them be your meal ticket back into the main event…
Tell me Davey, How badly would you want that?
To have Trent Helms just allow you to be?
To Have Trent Helms helping you out in a war, he just clearly doesn’t care about, I mean why I should? Two Primate groups battling it out for months upon end, until I decide to step in and take over this planet all together, You can try to save nCw from The Age of The Revolution, They can try to purify all the helpless souls on this planet, I will continue not to care, all I want is the hostile takeover that is fore coming in the next few months, to enslave your species, to watch them dance from just the slightest sound of my lips, to watch them degrade myself for my pure amusement, why should I join your cause, or theirs when my plan for intergalactic domination is so much greater.
I have no reason to join, to fight your cause Ortega, but for my amusement, I will give you one chance, one chance under my terms as if I help nCw fight this plague you call The Age Of The Revolution, All it takes it one thing….You.
You’re properly looking at your pride and joy, that thing you mammals call a opposable thumb and asking, what do you have to do, for that to happen.
I’ll tell you, there is only one being in this promotion who should be able to call himself emperor, It isn’t you porch monkey, It’s Trent Helms, so you want my help, You hand your empire over to me immediately, I’ll even let you stick around, along with Jason to be my own personal pets, to watch after my prehistoric friend that you had a run in with, this past week, give me the keys to your empire or else.
Or else what you say?
Oh My God…It’s time for Trent Helms to start saying something that is stupid and pointless, and has no baring on the match what so ever, He’s about to pull a Ultimate Warrior.
So let me tell you a story Ortega, about a empire, well it was more like a village, but for storyline purposes, I will call it a empire.
There was this Empire (Which in reality was a village) that was hoping to expand and move on with the rest of the world, then one night, something came, and something called Trodgor came along.
What was this something, some say it was a Man, some other people say it was a Dragon Man, or maybe he was a Dragon,
But regardless he was known by one name….HE WAS TROGDOR!!!!
Anyways, one night, Trogdor came and unleashed burnination upon this empire, crippling it, killing all the Pleasants and everything else….
Point of this story (There’s a point in something so stupid?)
Give me control over your empire, or face Burnination from the hottest act in the universe, and the official president to the Freezepop Fan Club.
But this Sunday, I torment your flesh, and give you all the attention that you think you so rightfully deserve, I’m going to pay attention to each and every detail, ripping your flesh, whipping you like the damn dirty filthy primate you are, until you decide to leave my presence….
Why?
Because I’m Trent Helms
(Who)
And I’m Out Of This World
(What)
I’m Trent Helms
(Who)
And I’m finally going to finish you off.