Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Jan 27, 2021 21:12:05 GMT -6
*The scene opens with Curtis Kanyon asleep on the floor of a hallway. His eyes suddenly open.*
Curtis: Whoa! What the **** just happened. I was just talking about holding a sweet sweet trident, then there was some wake up dust… then… was now… which is here… where is here?
*Curtis stands up and dusts himself off.*
Curtis: Huh? This looks familiar.
*Curtis walks down the hallway for a bit. Then he comes across a door with a giant Burger King logo on it. It reads "Knitely Bangs locker room, presented by Burger King."*
Curtis: I knew that NCW was coming back, but this is too much. Who dares steal my old team name and sponsorship! Here comes Kanyon mutha ****as!
*Curtis kicks the door in and charges into the room. We see Adam Knite sitting at a table.*
Curtis: Adam? Adam! What’s up bro!?
Adam: Nothing much. No idea what I’m up to because you haven’t talked to me in years, but I can be doing whatever your coked up imagination wants me to do. Coked up on Coca-cola, from Burger King.
*Adam winks at the camera.*
Curtis: Hey hey hey! I’m the one who winks at the camera when endorsing! Like after I’ve eaten a delicious triple western whopper.
*Curtis winks at the camera.*
Adam: Yeah, after I bought you one, while also buying chicken fries.
*Adam winks at the camera.*
Curtis: They didn’t have chicken fries when they were endorsing us! But boy am I glad they do now!
*Curtis winks at the camera.*
Adam & Curtis: Ha ha ha ha!
*Adam stands up and the two hug.*
Adam: Good to psychadelically see you brotha! What the hell are you doing here?
Curtis: Well, I’m getting ready to destroying a false god and take his trident as a trophy. So to get prepared, I partied really hard at his house.
Adam: For anyone else, I’d ask what the hell, but for you, that tracks.
Curtis: Right, and now I’m here. As an NCW alumni, I want to see NCW make a comeback, but I thought it was new and improved.
Adam: Ah, well, you my friend are at the wrong NCW. That’s the problem. This is the old NCW, I got nothing to do with that… yet.
Curtis: I see, well, what can I--
*Suddenly, the door bursts open and GQ and Obsidian come waltzing in, looking, well, like they looked here in this NCW, which is ten years younger than what they looked like anywhere you’d seen them recently.*
GQ: CK my main man, what up! We ready to catch you on the flip side and turn up this joint jive turkey!
Curtis: Uh, what? You know I don’t speak LGBTQ.
GQ: I AM NOT GAY!
*Obsidian is eating nachos that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.*
Obsidian: Ha ha. Vintage. Well, I guess not vintage since it’s happening now.
Curtis: Yeah, this is really hard to follow along. Could be being drunk. Could be the nose candy.
Obsidian: Ooo, candy!
GQ: You don’t want that.
Adam: I might.
Curtis: You? Never!
Adam: Yeah, in this NCW, sure. But in your real timeline, who knows. I could be a hobo in a ditch. Because you never checked on me!
Curtis: I was busy being President! Oh, I should probably fill in the viewer if they’re a former NCW only devotee and just checking the channel if anything new popped up over the last seven years. Over on the XHF Network, Trump was murdered by a demon slash wrestler slash Asian wrestling promoter working out of Seattle, and due to Russian agents inside the government and robot doppelgangers, the Presidency fell to me as a former Governor of Puerto Rico. This was like, three years ago… or four years in your future. I know, sounds like another trip on top of this trip. Well, I lost my re-election to Joe Biden to please people who “want reality” in their promos. Which is pussy bitch cover up speech for “not my president.” I don’t know if Hyperion was one of those who voted against me, but I will be taking my anger out on him as if he were! Anyway, now your caught up, even through your probably reading this six months or more later, so add months and years accordingly.
GQ: What the what?
Obsidian: I got it.
Adam: Makes sense to me.
Curtis: I should probably head back now, I feel the buzz wearing off.
Adam: Well, it was good you seeing me.
Curtis: Yeah, it was. How is baby Ryleigh by the way?
Adam: I have no clue because I’m a figment of your trip.
Curtis: Right. Bye everybody!
Obsidian: Bye!
GQ: I’M STILL NOT GAY!
Adam: Bye bud, give ‘em hell!
*Curtis exit the Knitely Bangs locker room as the scene fades. as we head back to where Kanyon came from...*
Curtis: Whoa! What the **** just happened. I was just talking about holding a sweet sweet trident, then there was some wake up dust… then… was now… which is here… where is here?
*Curtis stands up and dusts himself off.*
Curtis: Huh? This looks familiar.
*Curtis walks down the hallway for a bit. Then he comes across a door with a giant Burger King logo on it. It reads "Knitely Bangs locker room, presented by Burger King."*
Curtis: I knew that NCW was coming back, but this is too much. Who dares steal my old team name and sponsorship! Here comes Kanyon mutha ****as!
*Curtis kicks the door in and charges into the room. We see Adam Knite sitting at a table.*
Curtis: Adam? Adam! What’s up bro!?
Adam: Nothing much. No idea what I’m up to because you haven’t talked to me in years, but I can be doing whatever your coked up imagination wants me to do. Coked up on Coca-cola, from Burger King.
*Adam winks at the camera.*
Curtis: Hey hey hey! I’m the one who winks at the camera when endorsing! Like after I’ve eaten a delicious triple western whopper.
*Curtis winks at the camera.*
Adam: Yeah, after I bought you one, while also buying chicken fries.
*Adam winks at the camera.*
Curtis: They didn’t have chicken fries when they were endorsing us! But boy am I glad they do now!
*Curtis winks at the camera.*
Adam & Curtis: Ha ha ha ha!
*Adam stands up and the two hug.*
Adam: Good to psychadelically see you brotha! What the hell are you doing here?
Curtis: Well, I’m getting ready to destroying a false god and take his trident as a trophy. So to get prepared, I partied really hard at his house.
Adam: For anyone else, I’d ask what the hell, but for you, that tracks.
Curtis: Right, and now I’m here. As an NCW alumni, I want to see NCW make a comeback, but I thought it was new and improved.
Adam: Ah, well, you my friend are at the wrong NCW. That’s the problem. This is the old NCW, I got nothing to do with that… yet.
Curtis: I see, well, what can I--
*Suddenly, the door bursts open and GQ and Obsidian come waltzing in, looking, well, like they looked here in this NCW, which is ten years younger than what they looked like anywhere you’d seen them recently.*
GQ: CK my main man, what up! We ready to catch you on the flip side and turn up this joint jive turkey!
Curtis: Uh, what? You know I don’t speak LGBTQ.
GQ: I AM NOT GAY!
*Obsidian is eating nachos that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.*
Obsidian: Ha ha. Vintage. Well, I guess not vintage since it’s happening now.
Curtis: Yeah, this is really hard to follow along. Could be being drunk. Could be the nose candy.
Obsidian: Ooo, candy!
GQ: You don’t want that.
Adam: I might.
Curtis: You? Never!
Adam: Yeah, in this NCW, sure. But in your real timeline, who knows. I could be a hobo in a ditch. Because you never checked on me!
Curtis: I was busy being President! Oh, I should probably fill in the viewer if they’re a former NCW only devotee and just checking the channel if anything new popped up over the last seven years. Over on the XHF Network, Trump was murdered by a demon slash wrestler slash Asian wrestling promoter working out of Seattle, and due to Russian agents inside the government and robot doppelgangers, the Presidency fell to me as a former Governor of Puerto Rico. This was like, three years ago… or four years in your future. I know, sounds like another trip on top of this trip. Well, I lost my re-election to Joe Biden to please people who “want reality” in their promos. Which is pussy bitch cover up speech for “not my president.” I don’t know if Hyperion was one of those who voted against me, but I will be taking my anger out on him as if he were! Anyway, now your caught up, even through your probably reading this six months or more later, so add months and years accordingly.
GQ: What the what?
Obsidian: I got it.
Adam: Makes sense to me.
Curtis: I should probably head back now, I feel the buzz wearing off.
Adam: Well, it was good you seeing me.
Curtis: Yeah, it was. How is baby Ryleigh by the way?
Adam: I have no clue because I’m a figment of your trip.
Curtis: Right. Bye everybody!
Obsidian: Bye!
GQ: I’M STILL NOT GAY!
Adam: Bye bud, give ‘em hell!
*Curtis exit the Knitely Bangs locker room as the scene fades. as we head back to where Kanyon came from...*