|
Post by Joe Everyman on Mar 23, 2008 21:42:52 GMT -6
Just the same as the video game one, just with movies.
Garth Algar: Uhm, Wayne? What do you do if every time you see this one incredible woman, you think you're gonna hurl? Wayne Campbell: I say hurl. If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be. (Wayne's World)
Vincent: Have you ever given a foot massage? Jules: Don't be tellin' me about foot massages. I'm the foot ****in' master. Vincent: Given a lot of 'em? Jules: **** yeah. I got my technique down and everything, I don't be ticklin' or nothin'. Vincent: Would you give a guy a foot massage? Jules: **** you. Vincent: You give them a lot? Jules: **** you. Vincent: You know, I'm getting kinda tired. I could use a foot massage myself. Jules: Man, you best back off, I'm gittin' a little pissed here.
Vincent: And you know what they call a... a... a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris? Jules: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese? Vincent: No man, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what the **** a Quarter Pounder is. Jules: Then what do they call it? Vincent: They call it a Royale with cheese. Jules: A Royale with cheese. What do they call a Big Mac? Vincent: Well, a Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it le Big-Mac. Jules: Le Big-Mac. Ha ha ha ha. What do they call a Whopper? Vincent: I dunno, I didn't go into Burger King. (Both Pulp Fiction)
|
|
|
Post by recklessjack on Mar 23, 2008 21:52:09 GMT -6
(From Boondock Saints)
Rocco: ****in'..What the ****in' ****..Who the ****..**** this ****in'..How did you two ****in' ****s.. ****! Connor: Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.
Paul Smecker: This was a ****in bomb droppin on Beaver Cleaverville. For a few seconds, this place was Armageddon. There was a firefight!
(From Superbad)
McLovin: What's it like to have guns? Officer Michaels: It's like having two cocks... if one of your cocks could kill someone!
|
|
|
Post by bukkake on Mar 23, 2008 23:12:47 GMT -6
Hey Ricky, Remember when we got kicked out of Biology for playing with matchbox cars. Yeah. Well Who's retarded now!!!
Jean Girard: Hakuna Matata, bitches!
I saw the highlander movie...It was ****.
I like to imagine my jesus with a Tuxedo Shirt on, like I want to be formal but I'm here to party, because I like my jesus to party.
SHUP UP CHIP, Or I'll go ape **** on your ass.
I'm going to come at you like a Spider Monkey
I'm going to scissor kick you in the back of the head.
We go together like Cocaine and Waffles
|
|
|
Post by recklessjack on Mar 23, 2008 23:14:04 GMT -6
Awww Granny, not my prison shank!
|
|
|
Post by bukkake on Mar 23, 2008 23:17:30 GMT -6
I did a spread for Playgirl Magizine, I mean a spread, they made me pull my buttcheeks apart, it was all weird, you didn't hear about it, because I went on the name Mike Honcho, so I just wanted you to know, I spreaded my buttcheeks as Mike Honcho.
With all due respect and I am saying with all due respect, that idea isn't worth a velvet painting of a whale and a dolphin getting it on.
|
|
|
Post by Angel on Mar 24, 2008 5:35:21 GMT -6
Hitman, best line.
Niki?
Yeah?
If you don't stop talking I'll put you back in the trunk.
and from Clerks 2
Well my granny did use to call a broken bottle a nigger knife.
|
|
Falcon
Full Member
You haven't seen anything yet.
Posts: 636
|
Post by Falcon on Mar 24, 2008 7:58:32 GMT -6
"Hitman"
Hey, I got rid of the body!
Don't go anywhere. (GAT)
"Rounders"
So money can't buy happiness? Look at my smile. Ear to ****in ear baby..
"Sahara"
I realized something. -Pitt What? - Dr.. whatshername (I forgot) You do throw like a girl. -Pitt
|
|
|
Post by Angel on Mar 24, 2008 10:24:34 GMT -6
Porch Monkeys?
It's okay I'm bringing it back.
|
|
|
Post by Dante Cross on Mar 24, 2008 10:46:40 GMT -6
Dante: Well how many? Um. Well. Something like 37? 37?
|
|
|
Post by Adam on Mar 24, 2008 11:35:25 GMT -6
Worst: "I'm king of the world!"
|
|
|
Post by Markus E. Reeves on Mar 24, 2008 22:40:23 GMT -6
Jules: You, flock of seagulls, you know why we're here? Why don't you tell my man Vincent where you got the **** hid? Marvin: It's over there. Jules: I don't remember askin' you a ***damn thing! You were saying? Roger: It's in the cupboard. No, no, the one by your knees. Jules: We happy? Vincent! We happy? Vincent: Yeah, yeah, we happy. Brett: I'm sorry, I didn't get your name. I got your name, Vincent, right? But I didn't get... Jules: My name's Pith. And your ass ain't talkin' your way out of this ****. Brett: No, no, I just want you to know... I just want you to know how sorry we are that things got so ****ed up with us and Mr. Wallace. We got into this thing with the best intentions and I never... Jules: [Jules shoots the man on the couch] I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue, you were saying something about best intentions. What's the matter? Oh, you were finished. Well then, allow me to retort. What does Marsellus Wallace look like? Brett: What? Jules: What country are you from? Brett: What? Jules: What ain't no country I ever heard of. They speak English in What? Brett: What? Jules: English, mother****er, do you speak it? Brett: Yes. Jules: Then you know what I'm sayin'! Brett: Yes. Jules: Describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like! Brett: What? Jules: Say what again. Say what again, mother****er, say what one more ***damn time! Jules: What does Marcellus Wallace look like? Brett: What? Jules: What country you from? Brett: What? Jules: What ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in What? Brett: What? Jules: ENGLISH, MOTHER****ER! DO-YOU-SPEAK-IT? Brett: Yes! Jules: Then you know what I'm saying! Brett: Yes! Jules: Describe what Marcellus Wallace looks like! Brett: What, I-? Jules: [pointing his gun] Say what again. SAY WHAT AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, mother****er. Say what one more ***damn time. Brett: He's b-b-black... Jules: Go on. Brett: He's bald... Jules: Does he look like a bitch? Brett: What? [Jules shoots Brett in shoulder] Jules: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH? Brett: No! Jules: Then why you try to **** him like a bitch, Brett? Brett: I didn't. Jules: Yes you did. Yes you did, Brett. You tried to **** him. And Marcellus Wallace don't like to be ****ed by anybody, except Mrs. Wallace.
Jules: The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
Jules: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... stop right there. Eatin' a bitch out, and givin' a bitch a foot massage ain't even the same ****in' thing. Vincent: It's not. It's the same ballpark. Jules: Ain't no ****in' ballpark neither. Now look, maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but, you know, touchin' his wife's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her Holiest of Holies, ain't the same ****in' ballpark, it ain't the same league, it ain't even the same ****in' sport. Look, foot massages don't mean ****.
|
|
|
Post by Davey Ortega on Mar 28, 2008 18:19:20 GMT -6
Rounders-
''It's like the saying ''In the poker game of life, women are the ****ing rake.'' They are the ****ing rake man!''-Worm
''What..what the **** are you talking about? What saying?''-Mike.
''Mike....should of played those Kings, Mike''-Worm
''You're a ****ing asshole..''-Mike.
''I know''-Worm.
|
|
|
Post by Dante Cross on Mar 28, 2008 19:57:03 GMT -6
LEFT CHEEK, LEFT CHEEK, LEFT CHEEK!!!
|
|
|
Post by Matt Shannon on Mar 28, 2008 21:14:15 GMT -6
From the Usual Suspects...
"Oswald's a fag." ;D
|
|
|
Post by Joe Everyman on Mar 28, 2008 21:15:10 GMT -6
Why do I have to be Mr. Pink?
Because you're a faggot, alright?
|
|
|
Post by Angel on Mar 29, 2008 14:05:26 GMT -6
How's it hanging Lesbos?
I got some beer, LETS DRINK'em!
(Drinks beer)
That ones not beer.
|
|
Jon Michaels
Rookie
Once killed a moose, with a q-tip
Posts: 81
|
Post by Jon Michaels on Mar 30, 2008 7:40:04 GMT -6
Seth: I know, but look at Evan, OK just look at him. I'm over here in my unit, I slave alone, eating my terrible tasting food, and I have to look over at that!! Looks like the most fun, I've ever seen in my entire life; and it's a bitch. Sorry, excuse my language, I'm just saying that I wash and dry. I'm like a single mother. Look, we all know Home Ec is a joke, no offense, it's just like everyone joins this class to get an "A". It's bull**** and I'm sorry, and I'm not putting down your profession, but its just the way I feel. I don't want to sit here all by myself, cooking the ****ty food, no offense, and I just think that I don't ever need to cook "Tiramasu." When am I gonna need to cook tiramasu? Am I gonna be a chef? No. There's two weeks left of school, just give me a ****ing break... Sorry for cursing.
|
|
|
Post by recklessjack on Apr 29, 2008 9:19:46 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by Dante Cross on Apr 29, 2008 11:18:42 GMT -6
How's it hanging Lesbos? I got some beer, LETS DRINK'em! (Drinks beer) That ones not beer. Dead Man on Campus?
|
|
|
Post by Dante Cross on Apr 29, 2008 11:25:27 GMT -6
Johnny 5 - Your mother was a snowblower ------------------------------------ Quotes From Waiting
Flloyd - Welcome To Thunderdome Bitch
Naomi - You would do that for me...That's really nice, but what I would like you to do is...WASH THE ****ING DISHES AND SHUT THE **** UP, ****ING PSYCHO BABBLE BULL****...****ING ASSHOLE.
Monty: Excuse me if I'm wrong, but haven't I been inside you?
Monty: For the record, everytime we had sex, I always had a orgasism.
Dude who name I can't remember at the moment - If it's going to be that kind of party, I'm going to stick my dick in the mash potatoes.
Flloyd: Yeah...Roast theses nuts, I can't wait to quit this job.
|
|
JFK
Senior Member
Sucks to be you.
Posts: 950
|
Post by JFK on Apr 29, 2008 12:56:09 GMT -6
"I havent been ****ed like that since grade school"
the book's version of the line is better tho.
"I want to have your abortion"
|
|
|
Post by Alex Jones on Jun 2, 2008 22:50:26 GMT -6
the departed
Gignam:: Ok, my people are out there, they're like ****in indians, you're not gonna see them, you're not gonna hear about em, except through me or captain queenin, you will not ever know the identity of our undercover people, unfortunatly this ****hole has more ****in leaks than the iraqi navy
Ellerby: Go **** yourself.
Dignam: I'm tired from ****ing your wife.
Ellerby: How is your mother? Dignam: Good, she's tired from ****ing my father
Ellerby:: You want a smoke?, how about a smoke?, you don't smoke?, what are you one of those fitness freaks?, go **** yourself
Dignam: This is unbelievable. Who put the ****in' cameras in this place?
Police Camera Tech: Who the **** are you? Dignam: I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy.
[Sullivan tries to enter Queenan's office, but Dignam blocks his way]
Colin Sullivan: Problem?
Dignam: Yeah, I got a problem. I run rat ****s like you, okay? I don't like 'em. Colin Sullivan: The day you wouldn't take a promotion, let me know. And if you'd taken care of this, I wouldn't even be here.
Dignam: **** yourself, you piece of ****.
Colin Sullivan: And I'm gonna need the identity of your undercovers. Dignam: Blow me, all right? But not literally, though. Unfortunately, there's no promotion involved for you. [Dignam leaves]
Colin Sullivan: ****ing prick.
Lethal Weapon
Martin Riggs: You want me to drive?
Roger Murtaugh: No, you're supposed to be suicidal, remember? I'LL drive.
Martin Riggs: Anybody who drives around in this town IS suicidal.
Martin Riggs: Hey, look friend, let's just cut the ****. Now we both know why I was transferred. Everybody thinks I'm suicidal, in which case, I'm ****ed and nobody wants to work with me; or they think I'm faking to draw a psycho pension, in which case, I'm ****ed and nobody wants to work with me. Basically, I'm ****ed.
Roger Murtaugh: Guess what?
Martin Riggs: What?
Roger Murtaugh: I don't want to work with you!
Martin Riggs: Hey, don't.
Roger Murtaugh: Ain't got no choice! Looks like we both been ****ed!
Martin Riggs: Terrific.
Roger Murtaugh: God hates me. That's what it is. Martin Riggs: Hate him back; it works for me.
Dog Soldiers
[to attacking werewolf] Spoon: I hope I give you the ****s, you ****ing wimp.
[Cooper tries to push Wells' intestines back into his stomach] Sergeant Harry Wells: My guts are out Coop!
Cooper: We'll just put 'em back in then!
Sergeant Harry Wells: They're not gonna ****ing fit!
Cooper: Of course they'll fit, man!
Sergeant Harry Wells: We are now up against live, hostile targets. So, if Little Red Riding Hood should show up with a bazooka and a bad attitude, I expect you to chin the bitch.
[faced by a werewolf] Cooper: Don't... stare... back.
Spoon: I can't... help... it.
Cooper: We need a decoy. Something fast and loud.
[all turn to Spoon, who wasn't listening] Spoon: What? You what?
[Cooper is trying to stitch up Wells's wounds] Sergeant Harry Wells: Cooper, knock me out. HIT ME. [Cooper hits him] Sergeant Harry Wells: I said knock me out, you ****in' pussy.
Aliens Apone: All right, sweethearts, what are you waiting for? Breakfast in bed? Another glorious day in the Corps! A day in the Corps is like a day on the farm. Every meal's a banquet! Every paycheck a fortune! Every formation a parade! I LOVE the Corps!
Hudson: Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?
Vasquez: No. Have you?
Hudson: Man, this floor is freezing. Apone: What do you want me to do, fetch your slippers for you?
Hudson: Gee, would you sir? I'd like that. [Apone pulls down the skin under his left eye with middle finger] Apone: Look into my eye.
The crow
Funboy: Jesus Christ! Eric Draven: Jesus Christ? Stop me if you heard this one: Jesus Christ walks into a hotel.
[Fun Boy shoots him] Eric Draven: Ow! He hands the innkeeper three nails, and he asks...
[Fun Boy shoots him again] Funboy: Don't you ever ****in' die?
Eric Draven: Can you put me up for the night?
Top Dollar: No, I want you to set a fire so ***damn big, the gods will notice us again, that's what I'm saying. I want all you boys to look me straight in the eye one more time and say: ARE WE HAVING FUN OR WHAT? Hey, you! What's your name? Skank? You don't feel that?
Skank: I feel like a little worm on a big ****ing hook. [All the other thugs laugh]
Top Dollar: You feel like a little worm on a big ****ing hook. Well, boy, your mama must be damn proud of you.
Blade trinity
[after Hannibal sends the vampire dogs plummeting out the high-rise's window] Jarko Grimwood: Hey, dick-face. You seen my dog?
Hannibal King: Have you tried the lobby?
Hannibal King: Her name is Danica Talos. You met her earlier. And unlike typical vampires, her fangs are located in her vagina. [uncomfortable pause]
Hannibal King: Moving on...
Hannibal King: [after watching Blade casually kill a familiar] You know, one of these days, you might want to consider sitting down with someone. You know, have a little share time? Get in touch with your inner child? Also, you just might want to consider blinking once in a while.
[Blade stops and slowly turns to look at Hannibal] Hannibal King: I'm sorry, I, uh... I ate a lot of sugar today.
Danica Talos: Enough! It's not funny anymore!
Hannibal King: No, it's not, you horse-humping bitch! But it will be in a few seconds from now. See, that tickle that you're feeling in the back of your throat right now? [Asher, Jarko, and Danica start coughing]
Hannibal King: That's atomized colloidal silver. It's being pumped through the building's air conditioning system, you cock-juggling thundercunt! [Jarko and Asher cough harder]
Hannibal King: Which means the fat lady should be singing, right... about... now!
[pause where nothing happens] Hannibal King: Heh, this is awkward. [still nothing] Hannibal King: Do you have a cell phone?
Hannibal King: What did the one lesbian vampire say to the other?
Abigail Whistler: Shut up King.
Hannibal King: See you in 28 days
|
|
|
Post by The Reverend James Bradley on Jul 29, 2008 17:56:36 GMT -6
how has nobody mentioned these? ?!!!! Taxi Driver You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talking... you talking to me? Well I'm the only one here. Who the **** do you think you're talking to? Oh yeah? OK. How's life in the pimp business? Good Fellas Henry Hill: You're a pistol, you're really funny. You're really funny. Tommy DeVito: What do you mean I'm funny? Henry Hill: It's funny, you know. It's a good story, it's funny, you're a funny guy. [laughs] Tommy DeVito: what do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What? Henry Hill: It's just, you know. You're just funny, it's... funny, the way you tell the story and everything. Tommy DeVito: [it becomes quiet] Funny how? What's funny about it? Anthony Stabile: Tommy no, You got it all wrong. Tommy DeVito: Oh, oh, Anthony. He's a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? Funny how? Henry Hill: Jus... Tommy DeVito: What? Henry Hill: Just... ya know... you're funny. Tommy DeVito: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little ****ed up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to ****in' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny? Henry Hill: Just... you know, how you tell the story, what? Tommy DeVito: No, no, I don't know, you said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the **** am I funny, what the **** is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny! Henry Hill: [long pause] Get the **** out of here, Tommy! Tommy DeVito: [everyone laughs] Ya mother****er! I almost had him, I almost had him. Ya stuttering prick ya. Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning. Henry Hill: [narrating] And then there was Jimmy Two Times, who got that nickname because he said everything twice, like: Jimmy Two Times: I'm gonna go get the papers, get the papers Henry Hill: [narrating] As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster. Scarface Tony Montana: What you lookin' at? You all a bunch of ****in' assholes. You know why? You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your ****in' fingers and say, "That's the bad guy." So... what that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy! Come on. The last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you. Come on. Make way for the bad guy. There's a bad guy comin' through! Better get outta his way! Tony Montana: I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. Tony Montana: Say hello to my little friend!
|
|
|
Post by hatebreeder on Jul 29, 2008 20:16:14 GMT -6
These are from memory, so if I screw them up forgive me
Marcellus Wallis: what now, let me tell you what now. I'm gonna get a couple of hard pipe hittin' niggas from the street to go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliars and a blowtorch. You hear me talkin' hillbilly boy, I ain't through with you by a damn sight, I'm gonna get medievil on your ass...
Alex: Ho, ho, ho! Well, if it isn't fat stinking billy goat Billy Boy in poison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap, stinking chip oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarbles, you eunuch jelly thou!
Of course:
Holy dog ****. Texas? Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Wil Rigdon. And you don't look much like a steer to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?
|
|
|
Post by Jimmy Zane on Aug 10, 2008 21:39:02 GMT -6
Gib...you are indeed a tool.....
but these are some of my favs.....
\============================================/
Gibby - I got a confession to make. I have kinda been with a few guys.
Dante Hicks: What do you mean, a few?
Gibby: Well, i haven't been, been with them, I just went down on them.
Dante Hicks: Quit playing around, and just tell me, I can take it. How many could it be?
Gibby: Well, 37.
Dante Hicks: 37?!? I'm 37?!?
Gibby: Yeah, so.
Dante Hicks: Great, everytime I kiss you, I'm gonna taste 36 other guys!
Gibby: You love it and you know it! \============================================/
Then, one that really hits home for me right now is....
Rocky Balboa - It's not how hard you get hit. It's how many of those hits you can take and keep moving forward!
|
|
|
Post by Ricky Johnson on Aug 11, 2008 19:56:24 GMT -6
King Roland: OK, I'll tell, I'll tell.
Dark Helmet: I knew it would work. Alright, give it to me.
King Roland: The Combination is...1
Dark Helmet: 1!
Col. Sander: 1!
King Roland: 2
Dark Helmet: 2!
Col. Sander: 2!
King Roland: 3
Dark Helmet: 3!
Col. Sander: 3!
King Roland: 4
Dark Helmet: 4!
Col. Sander: 4!
King Roland: .... 5
Dark Helmet: 5!
Col. Sander: 5!
Dark Helmet: So the combination is....1-2-3-4-5?
[Roland nods]
Dark Helmet: That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! That's the kinda thing an idiot would have on his luggage!
Col. Sanders: Thank you your highness.
[The movie goes dark.]
Dark Helmet: What did you do?
Col. Sanders: I turned off the screen.
Dark Helmet: No you didn't, you turned off the whole movie!
Col. Sanders: I'm sorry.
Dark Helmet: Well turn it back on!
Col. Sanders: OK!
Dark Helmet: Come on, Do it!
Col. Sanders: Yes sir, yes sir.
[The movie comes back on]
Dark Helmet: We're back, and we have the combination. SLOTKIN!
Dr. Slotkin: What?
Dark Helmet: We're done with ya. Go back to the golf course and work on your putz!
Dr. Slotkin: Fine. You know I'll be expecting full payment for this. Come Gretchin.
Dark Helmet: [to Sanders]: I'll be she gives GREAT Helmet.
Col Sanders: *Shudders*
[President Scroob enters]
Spaceballs:HAIL SCROOB!
President Scroob: What's happening? Did it work?
Col. Sanders: It worked sir, we have the combination!
President Scroob: That's Great. Now we can all the fresh air from Planet Druidia. What's the combination?
Dark Helmet: 1-2-3-4-5.
President Scroob: 1-2-3-4-5?
Col. Sanders: Yes.
President Scroob: That's amazing, I have the same combination on my luggage!
|
|