Post by Matt Shannon on Apr 5, 2008 11:54:50 GMT -6
Continued from "Do You Even Know Me?"
Matt Margera has just left the Night To Remember press conference, and Chad Lights was discussing the Night To Remember card with the wrestling media on hand. Chad is about to announce the next person to come out, but before he can even say anything, out come "The Excellent Gordie" Gordon Heath, along with the Sports Nutz(George Dunpork and Craig "Senior" Mueller). They just take their seats as if they're supposed to be there, even though they're not.
CHAD LIGHTS
Excuse me, guys, but you're not scheduled to be out here. In fact, nCw Champion Lance Ryan is scheduled to make an appearance at this time?
CRAIG MUELLER
So?
CHAD LIGHTS
So?! Lance Ryan is the nCw Champion, and the next time he loses the nCw Title, he loses his career!
GEORGE DUNPORK
Well cry me a river! Craig and I don't even get to wrestle on the PPV itself, just the pre-show. But nobody's crying for us.
CHAD LIGHTS
That's because you haven't accomplished much of anything here in nCw.
GORDON HEATH
Just shut up and let us go about the press conference.
Chad throws his arms up in the air in frustration, muttering "Whatever."
GORDON HEATH
OK, at this time, we'll go ahead and take any questions you have.
REPORTER #1
Even though your match against Shot in the Dark is on the pre-show, I'm sure you're still approaching this match as a must win.
CRAIG MUELLER
No, we thought we'd take it easy and maybe lose this match! Of course we're approaching this match as a must win, just like we do every match you creton!
REPORTER #2
How do you feel about Dark Tiger using the Orange Crush?
CRAIG MUELLER
You mean MY move, Riding the Pine? I feel that he's lucky that I don't sue him for wrestling move infringement. And besides, my move is more devastating. In fact, I'll beat him with it this Sunday!
REPORTER #2
But Craig, Dark Tiger is 7' 1". Kinda hard to get him up in that move.
CRAIG MUELLER
You forget that I am a true athlete.
REPORTER #3
Are you at all worried about getting in the ring with someone who's known to have anger issues in Shawn Payne?
GEORGE DUNPORK
Of course we're worried because he could bring a gun to the ring and go crazy! Why Leonard Fox signs someone who's such a hazard to the rest of the nCw roster is beyond me. Seriously, Shawn wonders why he may never see his kid again?!
REPORTER #4
On nCw.com, Shot in the Dark had some choice words about the way you choose to spell "Nutz" with a "z" instead of an "s." What do you have to say in response?
GORDON HEATH
Seriously?! There are kids starving in Africa, psychopaths terrorizing our schools because "nobody saw any signs of pyschotic behavior in them," yet we're worried about how someone spells their team name?! Give me a break! Shot in the Dark thinks they can waltz in here and keep the Sports Nutz from having their rightful place on the actual Night To Remember PPV. Mutt and Jeff are going to...
On cue, Gordie, George and Craig all stand up, grab their crotches and shout "CHOKE ON DEEZ NUTZ!" They storm off as the scene fades to black.
Matt Margera has just left the Night To Remember press conference, and Chad Lights was discussing the Night To Remember card with the wrestling media on hand. Chad is about to announce the next person to come out, but before he can even say anything, out come "The Excellent Gordie" Gordon Heath, along with the Sports Nutz(George Dunpork and Craig "Senior" Mueller). They just take their seats as if they're supposed to be there, even though they're not.
CHAD LIGHTS
Excuse me, guys, but you're not scheduled to be out here. In fact, nCw Champion Lance Ryan is scheduled to make an appearance at this time?
CRAIG MUELLER
So?
CHAD LIGHTS
So?! Lance Ryan is the nCw Champion, and the next time he loses the nCw Title, he loses his career!
GEORGE DUNPORK
Well cry me a river! Craig and I don't even get to wrestle on the PPV itself, just the pre-show. But nobody's crying for us.
CHAD LIGHTS
That's because you haven't accomplished much of anything here in nCw.
GORDON HEATH
Just shut up and let us go about the press conference.
Chad throws his arms up in the air in frustration, muttering "Whatever."
GORDON HEATH
OK, at this time, we'll go ahead and take any questions you have.
REPORTER #1
Even though your match against Shot in the Dark is on the pre-show, I'm sure you're still approaching this match as a must win.
CRAIG MUELLER
No, we thought we'd take it easy and maybe lose this match! Of course we're approaching this match as a must win, just like we do every match you creton!
REPORTER #2
How do you feel about Dark Tiger using the Orange Crush?
CRAIG MUELLER
You mean MY move, Riding the Pine? I feel that he's lucky that I don't sue him for wrestling move infringement. And besides, my move is more devastating. In fact, I'll beat him with it this Sunday!
REPORTER #2
But Craig, Dark Tiger is 7' 1". Kinda hard to get him up in that move.
CRAIG MUELLER
You forget that I am a true athlete.
REPORTER #3
Are you at all worried about getting in the ring with someone who's known to have anger issues in Shawn Payne?
GEORGE DUNPORK
Of course we're worried because he could bring a gun to the ring and go crazy! Why Leonard Fox signs someone who's such a hazard to the rest of the nCw roster is beyond me. Seriously, Shawn wonders why he may never see his kid again?!
REPORTER #4
On nCw.com, Shot in the Dark had some choice words about the way you choose to spell "Nutz" with a "z" instead of an "s." What do you have to say in response?
GORDON HEATH
Seriously?! There are kids starving in Africa, psychopaths terrorizing our schools because "nobody saw any signs of pyschotic behavior in them," yet we're worried about how someone spells their team name?! Give me a break! Shot in the Dark thinks they can waltz in here and keep the Sports Nutz from having their rightful place on the actual Night To Remember PPV. Mutt and Jeff are going to...
On cue, Gordie, George and Craig all stand up, grab their crotches and shout "CHOKE ON DEEZ NUTZ!" They storm off as the scene fades to black.