Post by destroyyou555 on Apr 5, 2008 21:09:38 GMT -6
I want to know what you cherish the most Davey, so I can have the pleasure of taking it away from you.
That was my most bone chilling message I gave to you, as for the fourth time in two months, we step inside a nCw ring together, but this would only be the second time we have battled in singles action, the first time, is well documented, was a fluke win on your part, the other two times, were in tag team action, where one delusional primate with Purple hair made his appearance, the other, my pet and friend of the prehistoric kind, gave you a Trailblazer, and not of the chevy kind.
I’m sorry, my manners were so rude that I forgot to formally introduce my pet, some people call him Adam Knite, one of the men who knows how to beat someone like Dave Holland, something I hope Lance Ryan can learn so that here soon, I have the pleasure of retiring him and taking the key to my global domination of this world, the nCw Championship, something that will always and continue to remain out of your gasps you filthy money stealing carbon based lifeform.
I could explain why my pet deceided to return to this promotion after months of absence, well despite one appearance to lose to my former tag team partner, but that is neither here nor there, and will be forgotten.
What people won’t forget is the wounds I will open on your flesh, as I sacrifice you to the gods, namely Leonard Fox and Dante Cross in my bid to finally gain a shot at the championship that has eluded me for years, I’m sure Mr. Cross will be more then happy to access my donation, since it’s rather common knowledge, he isn’t too fond of your tactics, and the only friend that you had that calls the shot, you pissed off when you deceided that being the attention whore that you are, was the best way to go, to keep the spotlight that was never meant to shine upon you, focused on you. You defy orders, deceided that you would try to become the under-dog hero to fight off the Age Of The Revolution, you bought this fate all upon yourself Ortega, You will know exactly what it feels like to force the spotlight on yourself, and be a sacrifice to a far superior being.
I’m still waiting for you to tell me, what is the most treasured thing in your life, Your Empire? Hopes of being nCw Champion, to be something more then a underarchiver?
Tell me Primate, before I force myself to take everything away from you.
I can tell your lifeforce is already being to slip from taking all the beatings you received, and not doing yourself any favors by just slowly dying off, or taking a temporary leave of absence.so that the future you tried to destroy can come to be.
If only you did that, I wouldn’t have to crush your dreams, shatter your ego, and bend your limbs to my liking, if only you stayed away, I could have had my clear path to the promise land, but you showed your face once again, now I’m forced to deal with you.
This was your fault, not mine, I wasn’t about to let some primate who couldn’t manage to defeat me, without his gods watching over him take the spotlight from me, espically when he was so proud of his countout victory in the 2 Out Of Three falls match.
Just Go away, don’t even bother to show your face on my planet, this planet, The one that I will ultimately take over, go back to Las Vegas, focus solely on your Casino, buy some tigers to eat other primates, get that guy who managed to survive in Mar Attacks, that sings that song…
You know the one.
It’s Not Unusual.
Hire Him, in fact, Mr. Tom Jones will be used as a reference for my mental beatdown of yourself, I could of went the easy route, used my mind powers to turn you into a soft taco that s**ts Ice Cream, I could of acted like I was compacted and had my hair turn all yellow and Spikey and flew to outer space, and yelled something extremely stupid like Kame-Hame-Ha and watched and laughed as your casino was turned into rubble, but I’ll go this route, just so you primates can actually relate to it.
Oh It’s not Un-Usual for me to kick you in the face.
It’s not unusual to strap you like my ex-wife.
When I see you crying in the ring.
It won’t be un-usual for me to give a Close Encounter
(Trent Whispers)
Of the 630 kind.
Uh-Huh
I like singing, and I’m going to continue to do so, why? Because it makes me happy, and because I sound so horrible doing so, you primates are going to be bleeding from your eardrums, which also makes me happy to watch your species suffer at my hands.
So….What annoying why can I sing to cause you to want to kill yourselves.
Well…
Well….I got it.
(A Graphic quickly appears on the screen, showing the planet Earth, suddenly in the upper right hand corner, the words, Trent Helms in, as red lettering appears over the Earth, saying Trapped on This Planet)
Saturday Night, it’s midnight and I lay in this bed, just one more day until I beat you Ortega.
{Suddenly a dark haired female enters the room)
I sit there and think to myself, Why isn’t this primate on her knees?
{She looks at me and says)
Sire why don’t I help you get your mind off things?
I think to myself, damn I wish this chick was Jean Grey.
(So I stand up and begin to go to the door)
She quickly grabs my hand and says, Sire don’t go to the door.
I say, move it primate, I’m getting out of this room.
Please, Don’t go out that door, I say I’m opening the door, I’m reaching for the handle, I’m turning the handle, I turned the handle, I’m opening the door, It’s opening now, It’s almost open…I open the door, She pulls out a beretta, why the f**k does she have a beretta, you’re proberly asking, This s**t makes no sense, well it’s a Trent Helms promo, when the hell does it ever make any sense, but I’m still going to be singing it anyways.
So I turn around, facing the door, guess what I see, my ex-wife who is really a close friend of mine, but for storyline purposes she is my ex-wife.
She slaps me across my face, I turn around and yell, You’re not supposed to be on TV.
She says, I can’t believe I got fired, all I’m thinking was, damn I wish I could still pretend to have sex with you.
The other woman primate is still sitting in the corner, She says, Why wasn’t I given more talking time for this ridicious promo?
I say, because I didn’t think it through, because it’s not like people are going to view this anyways.
Mercedes looks at both of us and says, You know we could just have a threesome.
I say, s**t please, people think I’m already gay, I mean I pretend I’m from another planet, and am a part-time voice actor, plus we wouldn’t be allowed to show that on here anyways, I’m not trying to get fired just yet.
Suddenly things begin to get weirder as the story goes on.
As Mercedes looks at me and says, Why does it all of a sudden smell like cabbage?
I turn around, I won’t believe what I saw, now there was a bald headed guy now in the room.
I think to myself, I only got 3 minutes left before I have to wrap this stupid promo up, and I can’t be introducing other friends from rival promotions, especially considering I still have to make a fool of myself and talk about Davey Ortega at the same time.
Mercedes says, Well it sounds like you’re s**t out of luck, well good luck with that loser, because I’m out of here.
So I turn around, look at the camera, and yell, damn I don’t know where I’m going with this, so I’m just going to yell stupid things out for the next twenty seconds, like how I got a bad itch from the one time I accidently bumped into Roxi Jamison in the hallway, and how I’m teaming with someone who thinks he’s a dinosaur, but I’m not much better, because I’m done ripping off R.Kelly, so now I can just say something like.
I’m Trent Helms and I’m out of this World.
I’m Trent Helms and you’re just had to sit thru this horrible rip-off of trapped in the closet.
That was my most bone chilling message I gave to you, as for the fourth time in two months, we step inside a nCw ring together, but this would only be the second time we have battled in singles action, the first time, is well documented, was a fluke win on your part, the other two times, were in tag team action, where one delusional primate with Purple hair made his appearance, the other, my pet and friend of the prehistoric kind, gave you a Trailblazer, and not of the chevy kind.
I’m sorry, my manners were so rude that I forgot to formally introduce my pet, some people call him Adam Knite, one of the men who knows how to beat someone like Dave Holland, something I hope Lance Ryan can learn so that here soon, I have the pleasure of retiring him and taking the key to my global domination of this world, the nCw Championship, something that will always and continue to remain out of your gasps you filthy money stealing carbon based lifeform.
I could explain why my pet deceided to return to this promotion after months of absence, well despite one appearance to lose to my former tag team partner, but that is neither here nor there, and will be forgotten.
What people won’t forget is the wounds I will open on your flesh, as I sacrifice you to the gods, namely Leonard Fox and Dante Cross in my bid to finally gain a shot at the championship that has eluded me for years, I’m sure Mr. Cross will be more then happy to access my donation, since it’s rather common knowledge, he isn’t too fond of your tactics, and the only friend that you had that calls the shot, you pissed off when you deceided that being the attention whore that you are, was the best way to go, to keep the spotlight that was never meant to shine upon you, focused on you. You defy orders, deceided that you would try to become the under-dog hero to fight off the Age Of The Revolution, you bought this fate all upon yourself Ortega, You will know exactly what it feels like to force the spotlight on yourself, and be a sacrifice to a far superior being.
I’m still waiting for you to tell me, what is the most treasured thing in your life, Your Empire? Hopes of being nCw Champion, to be something more then a underarchiver?
Tell me Primate, before I force myself to take everything away from you.
I can tell your lifeforce is already being to slip from taking all the beatings you received, and not doing yourself any favors by just slowly dying off, or taking a temporary leave of absence.so that the future you tried to destroy can come to be.
If only you did that, I wouldn’t have to crush your dreams, shatter your ego, and bend your limbs to my liking, if only you stayed away, I could have had my clear path to the promise land, but you showed your face once again, now I’m forced to deal with you.
This was your fault, not mine, I wasn’t about to let some primate who couldn’t manage to defeat me, without his gods watching over him take the spotlight from me, espically when he was so proud of his countout victory in the 2 Out Of Three falls match.
Just Go away, don’t even bother to show your face on my planet, this planet, The one that I will ultimately take over, go back to Las Vegas, focus solely on your Casino, buy some tigers to eat other primates, get that guy who managed to survive in Mar Attacks, that sings that song…
You know the one.
It’s Not Unusual.
Hire Him, in fact, Mr. Tom Jones will be used as a reference for my mental beatdown of yourself, I could of went the easy route, used my mind powers to turn you into a soft taco that s**ts Ice Cream, I could of acted like I was compacted and had my hair turn all yellow and Spikey and flew to outer space, and yelled something extremely stupid like Kame-Hame-Ha and watched and laughed as your casino was turned into rubble, but I’ll go this route, just so you primates can actually relate to it.
Oh It’s not Un-Usual for me to kick you in the face.
It’s not unusual to strap you like my ex-wife.
When I see you crying in the ring.
It won’t be un-usual for me to give a Close Encounter
(Trent Whispers)
Of the 630 kind.
Uh-Huh
I like singing, and I’m going to continue to do so, why? Because it makes me happy, and because I sound so horrible doing so, you primates are going to be bleeding from your eardrums, which also makes me happy to watch your species suffer at my hands.
So….What annoying why can I sing to cause you to want to kill yourselves.
Well…
Well….I got it.
(A Graphic quickly appears on the screen, showing the planet Earth, suddenly in the upper right hand corner, the words, Trent Helms in, as red lettering appears over the Earth, saying Trapped on This Planet)
Saturday Night, it’s midnight and I lay in this bed, just one more day until I beat you Ortega.
{Suddenly a dark haired female enters the room)
I sit there and think to myself, Why isn’t this primate on her knees?
{She looks at me and says)
Sire why don’t I help you get your mind off things?
I think to myself, damn I wish this chick was Jean Grey.
(So I stand up and begin to go to the door)
She quickly grabs my hand and says, Sire don’t go to the door.
I say, move it primate, I’m getting out of this room.
Please, Don’t go out that door, I say I’m opening the door, I’m reaching for the handle, I’m turning the handle, I turned the handle, I’m opening the door, It’s opening now, It’s almost open…I open the door, She pulls out a beretta, why the f**k does she have a beretta, you’re proberly asking, This s**t makes no sense, well it’s a Trent Helms promo, when the hell does it ever make any sense, but I’m still going to be singing it anyways.
So I turn around, facing the door, guess what I see, my ex-wife who is really a close friend of mine, but for storyline purposes she is my ex-wife.
She slaps me across my face, I turn around and yell, You’re not supposed to be on TV.
She says, I can’t believe I got fired, all I’m thinking was, damn I wish I could still pretend to have sex with you.
The other woman primate is still sitting in the corner, She says, Why wasn’t I given more talking time for this ridicious promo?
I say, because I didn’t think it through, because it’s not like people are going to view this anyways.
Mercedes looks at both of us and says, You know we could just have a threesome.
I say, s**t please, people think I’m already gay, I mean I pretend I’m from another planet, and am a part-time voice actor, plus we wouldn’t be allowed to show that on here anyways, I’m not trying to get fired just yet.
Suddenly things begin to get weirder as the story goes on.
As Mercedes looks at me and says, Why does it all of a sudden smell like cabbage?
I turn around, I won’t believe what I saw, now there was a bald headed guy now in the room.
I think to myself, I only got 3 minutes left before I have to wrap this stupid promo up, and I can’t be introducing other friends from rival promotions, especially considering I still have to make a fool of myself and talk about Davey Ortega at the same time.
Mercedes says, Well it sounds like you’re s**t out of luck, well good luck with that loser, because I’m out of here.
So I turn around, look at the camera, and yell, damn I don’t know where I’m going with this, so I’m just going to yell stupid things out for the next twenty seconds, like how I got a bad itch from the one time I accidently bumped into Roxi Jamison in the hallway, and how I’m teaming with someone who thinks he’s a dinosaur, but I’m not much better, because I’m done ripping off R.Kelly, so now I can just say something like.
I’m Trent Helms and I’m out of this World.
I’m Trent Helms and you’re just had to sit thru this horrible rip-off of trapped in the closet.