Post by Steve Awesome on Jun 13, 2008 19:27:12 GMT -6
Spinning tires. Twenty inch rims, shredding on top of concrete , spitting rocks every each way with every RPM. The camera pans out a bit more, revealing that these tires are connected to what appears to be another limo. Long and sleek, white and worthy of your complete attention. Not so much for the hilarious novelty license plate but more so for the occupant of said limo. You try to peak through the tinted windows but its useless. It’s installed with hater block so your pretty much screwed on that note. Though, thanks to the magic of cinema, your able to get a good look at the man that’s better than you. All it took was just a simple cut.
The camera cuts inside and your jaw just drops. This limousine has absolutely everything. A champagne and appetizer bar. Plasma screen monitors mounted in places that nobody would even look for one. You drop your keys? Well for that split second you reach down to grab them you can watch TV thanks to the screen implanted underneath the seat. There’s a chandelier hanging from the ceiling and a fountain in the back corner. The radio is XM, and tuned to a special station that plays nothing but praises that announcers have said about Steve Awesome.
What else do you think Steve would listen too?
Well, right now he isn’t actually listening to the radio but it’s nice to have background noise while your taking care of personal business. Steve Awesome lays back on the padded seat, decked out in a pair of hip hugger blue jeans and a zip up hoodie that’s currently unzipped. Hey look, Awesome is showing off his abs. How does it feel to be right, Trent? Awesome carefully pours himself a small glass of champagne as he listens closely to his headset.
“Mmhmm. Yeah, babe. I know I have that photo shoot next week. What time do they need me? EIGHT O’CLOCK? Who in the hell takes pictures at eight O-****ing-Clock?”
He sighs an accepting sigh as he turns and fixes a stray hair in the mirror.
“Yeah, I know. It’s the price I pay for being so damn beautiful. People go to great extents to snap a photo of the prettiest player in the game. I once had this guy offer to give me a blow job if I posed for a picture with him.”
He pauses for a few seconds, allowing the person on the other end, presumably Layla, to speak.
“That’s what I thought to. You know I don’t swing that way. So I had to set the dude straight, so I walked up to him and I say to the guy I say, “I’ll allow a free picture, just this one time. But I’m just not like that. Next time, pay five bucks like the rest of them, AJ.”
He rolls his eyes.
“Yeah, I’ve always had AJ Phoenix under homo suspicion. But don’t worry, you’re the only one for me. No girl…or effeminate male….is going to get me to change my mind. I can hardly wait, next week after Picture Perfect were finally going to be the most dominate couple in nCw. I can just imagine it, we walk into the arena and everybody instantly turns there head to see us. They see the sparkle of the world championship that’s hanging from my right shoulder and then you on my left, adding symmetry to the whole deal. It’s what I’ve strived for my whole life and nobody is going to stop me from getting it. Not Trent and not Lance.”
At this point the window that separates the driver from the passenger comes sliding down. The driver, a small “Danny Devito” type cranks his short, fat little neck towards our hero.
“Driver: “Um….sir?”
“Hold on.”
Steve says, placing his palm on the speaker of his headset so that the other side can’t hear.
“Hey! What did I tell you about looking at me?”
The driver lowers his head.
The Driver: “Until I actually own something that costs more than a grand, I’m not allowed to make eye contact.”
“Exactly. Now apologize you little chicken McNugget.”
Driver: “Sir, I was only trying to tell you that-”
“I said apologize!”
Driver: “I’m sorry sir. It will never happen again.”
The driver turns to face forward.
Driver: “I was just trying to tell you that were almost at the-”
But the Driver couldn’t even finish his sentence since Steve decided to close up that little window before he could. Man, Awesome is an asshole. Ridding himself of the irritating driver problem, he goes back to the headset.
“Okay, I’m back. Oh, okay. Well you go ahead and do that. Make sure you get me a medium. Alright, I love you. Bye. OH! Hey Layla wait!”
He pauses to make sure she comes back on the phone.
“Make sure you fire my ass wiper guy. Somehow Lance Ryan found about that and it kind of makes me out to look like a lazy, spoiled rich kid. Can’t have that sort of thing for my public image, you know? Thanks babe, bye.”
Awesome pulls the headset out of his ear and sets it off to the side. Finally, he looks into the camera that had been pointing at him the whole time.
“Sorry about that folks. As a pending champion of the world, sometimes work gets in the way of play. But hey, even before all this crap about me not being able to handle the work load of being a champion came up, not only was I STILL busy as hell with company work. Posing for posters and autograph signings and owning my own strip club. I’m just as busy as you are Lance, despite taking weeks off at a time to cope with what ever family crisis you pull out of your ass at that point in time. In fact, I might even be more busy, trying to fit every little thing that I have to do to make sure this company flourishes. The only difference that will happen when I win that world title from you this Sunday is that I have to carry around a belt.”
Steve does a scan around the limo. Liking what he sees he gives one of those “getting comfortable” sighs as he leans back into the seat.
“God, I love being rich. I love being able to tell people that I could buy them and actually mean it. I love having all the latest breakthroughs in technology, being on top of all the latest fashions, the biggest house on my block. It all comes with being rich. All that work I do, the work for this company and the work I choose to do in my free time makes it so I’m so damn loaded. But check this out, being rich has this great perk. As it turns out, when your rich, people want to give you more free crap. This limo I’m riding in, I didn’t even have to freaking pay for it. I just say I need to go somewhere and a limo arrives not even twenty minutes later, filled to the brim with TVs and food and alcohol. I get all this stuff, free. No charge. Even when I could totally afford to buy like three of these with all the stuff inside it. Nope, people still go out of there way to please me. This is why I love being better than everybody so much. The free **** is grand.”
He chuckles.
“Trent, you know how that sort of thing goes. Well, you used to know all about it. Me and you, we used to terrorize the town. Bang the hottest chicks, drink the most expensive alcohol, party in the best clubs, wear the best fur coats from animals nobody’s ever herd of. But somewhere, Trent, you went soft. You stopped caring about only yourself and you went and grew a conscious. You started caring what the guys thought, what the people thought of you. You started to want to do the right thing like your some kind of boy scout. Really dude, you kind of became a bitch. And I don’t hang out with bitches. Just ask Sexy Jason.”
“But really dude, that’s not why our friendship died. It’s not why I want to ****ing tear you apart this Sunday. It’s not even my fault dude. It’s yours. You were the one who screwed our bond up the ass when you decided that you wanted a title shot too. You could have had it any time you wanted it Trent, any ****ing time. But instead, you had to stick your big fat Canadian nose into things and weasel your way into my title shot. You knew how much that belt means to me. You know that I’m going to do whatever I have to do to win it in our match at Picture Perfect. That world title, being able to call myself a world champion, it’s what I strive on. It’s what I need to live. But the air is thin up here on this mountain peak already. And I’m not going to let you suck up anymore of my air. That’s why this Sunday, I’m going to have to break you into nothing. That’s good for me, since really your nothing already.”
He takes a moment to look out the window. Trees pass by rapidly and other cars whiz by the window as they pass.
“You think it’s easy for me to say something like that to a guy who I used to call my best friend? To tell the one guy that I trusted more than The Ace that I’m going to have to take him out of the game this Sunday? God, I tried to keep that friendship going. Of all the friendships I’ve faked in this industry mine and yours was actually real. During the mid-card army, I was so distraught about the fact that you put yourself out of action. I wanted to come visit you but I couldn’t. I had to be the one that was strong and continue down the path that we set for ourselves. I sent you a few get well cards but I guess they must have gotten lost in the mail or something. Or maybe you just didn’t care at that point. Somehow, during that stint in the blue dress, you developed this jealousy towards me. I mean it’s easy to be jealous of somebody like me, but I never thought that you’d grow those feelings towards me. Not my best friend Trent.”
“Then, when you came back and started attacking me behind the mask. When I found out it was you and Adam, I was extremely pissed. Then to find out you did it because Ace and I were tag champs, I was confused. Sure, me and you, but mostly I, got a shot at the tag belts. But you were injured, so I got help from another member of the mid-card army to help me out during your absence. But you still wanted it your way. You still chose to attack us anyways. It took a lot of me to do it, but I forgave you for that. I don’t usually forgive that easily, but I did so because I’d rather be your friend. I wanted back what we had. Somebody to wreak havoc with. My own personal wingman. I wanted that friendship to work so much Trent, that I was even breaking kayfaybe with you. Doing something that could have costed both of us our jobs.”
But then, on that fateful Collision when I took it upon myself to demand a shot at the title that I deserve, to finally get a chance to breathe the only air I should be breathing, you had to waddle your broken down midget ass to the ring and stick your nose in something that didn’t concern you. Nobody called you out, nobody wanted anything to do with you in that moment Trent, but you came out anyway. Effectively killing my one on one shot . Riding my coat tails to another title shot. One that you’ll actually make it too, but unfortunately one that you’ll lose. Was it worth it best friend? Was it worth the beatings, the assaults, the sharp pains in your rib cage, the fighting just to breathe through the pain? Was getting this title shot worth all that? Those were just petty beat downs, imagine what I could do to you this Sunday, when my intention is to take you out for good? When I’m actually trying to hurt you!”
He pauses again. Thinking about this Sunday. The match, the moment when he holds the belt high above his head. Will that actually happen, nobody can say for sure. Except for Steve.
“You think I like saying that sort of stuff to you Trent? Do you?”
A cocky smirk grows on his face.
“You’re *** damn right I am. I love every second of it. Because you Trent, are dead weight. An anchor that was always holding me down. And now, I finally get a chance to put you out of your tenth grade misery. Look on the Brightside, at least you don’t have to take the SAT’s you vertically challenged, circus act looking bastard.”
“You know….the more I think about it Trent. Me putting you out of action is the best thing anybody could do for you now Trenticles. You’ve gone weak, soft, became a bitch. You’ve shown exactly what happens when you step out on your own. When best buddy Steve Awesome isn’t there to pick up the pieces for you. You end up a battered mess hanging out with a porn start in a crappy little shack in Georgia. Trying to scare people by living in a murderers house. Pathetic. With me, you at least lived in luxury. Hanging out with girls with a bit of class, instead of a porn star who has sex for money! But, it was upsetting to learn that Mercedes’ was in a comma awhile ago. How in the hell she managed to get inside punctuation is beyond me.”
He shrugs. He was about to speak some more but at that point his limo door swung open. The small egg shaped limo driver stood at the end of the door, doing his best to not look at Steve.
Driver: “We’re here sir.”
“It’s about damn time.”
Awesome snaps as he steps out of the door and takes a look around. Were at a cemetery. And right at the entrance of the graveyard was a gigantic puddle.
“Oh…your joking right? If you think I’m stepping in that puddle and ruining these shoes you have another thing coming.”
He says to nobody even though the driver was standing next to him.
“Don’t just stand there, fix this problem.”
The driver thinks for a second, must be hard with Steve always yelling at him, and eventually comes up with a plan. He takes off his driving jacket and places it flat on top of the puddle. It doesn’t cover the whole spot but it was enough to step on and jump top the other side.
“That’s it? God your useless. Useless and FAT! Looks like I have to solve this on my own.”
Awesome quickly levels the driver with a punch that knocks him clean out. Then Steve drags his limp body into the puddle and proceeds to step on the limo driver to get into the cemetery.
We cut to Steve walking somewhere in the cemetery.
“Why am I here you ask? No, I’m not exploring my dark side or anything dumb like that. I’m just…paying a certain someone a visit.”
He keeps his eyes on the names on the gravestones. After a few, he stops on the one he was looking for.
“Ah-Ha! Here we go.”
He looks around.
“Oh, would you look at the cheap layout. That’s just disrespectful. They could have at least got somebody to keep up with the landscaping.”
He shakes his head in disappointment. Afterwards, you can see him gaze into the headstone.
“So…..”
He said with a confident smirk.
“…..This is the great John Ryan. No, no. Don’t get up.”
He starts to laugh at his own joke. I thought it was pretty funny myself.
“Sorry. Maybe that one was a little too soon. Sir. I mean no disrespect to you by coming here. I want you to know that right off the bat.”
Steve walks up the side of the grave and lowers himself into a crouching position, so that its him and the gravestone in the shot.
“So your probably asking yourself why I came here then. Well it probably sounds like “mmmm mmmm mmmmmm”
Again he starts to laugh. But catches himself and stops.
“Sorry. No more jokes. Sir, I came here to visit you because I guess I wanted a chance to speak with you. Lance was saying that you pretty much raised Lance, you acted like a father to Lance in the times that he needed you and I guess, since I’m only a few days away from facing your grandson in a title match, I wanted to get to know the man that made Lance who he is today.”
He pauses.
“But that’s not going to happen is it? I’m sorry you had to go sir. From what I hear you kept yourself healthy. That’s why it was such a shock to Lance’s system when you left us. Everyone keeps telling him that your in a better place, this cemetery doesn’t count, but I don’t think that he is accepting that cliché as the closure he needs.”
“Did you know that Lance checked himself into a mental institution? Yeah, he was afraid that he was going to kill himself. The big bad world champion was worried that he might end his own life. I know, pathetic right? Some stability, right? Was his mind always this warped? Was he always this far off from the picture?”
“You see the way he tried to Dr. Phil me? Tried to go that “I was just like you when I was younger” route. Yeah, that’s why as soon as he stopped acting like me he started to suck. Did you see the way he tried to make me look like a fool? Unbelievable. I mean no disrespect by this Sir, but what did you fill that poor boys mind up with? What did you teach him? What kind of man did you raise him to be? Because the Lance Ryan that I know isn’t the Lance Ryan that Lance Ryan thinks he is. You understand that right? He is sitting there trying to chastise me for things that I pretty much learned from him. Saying that me relying on the Corporate Empire to get where I am today. What about No Warning Shots? Insurrection Inc, Age of the Revolution? Stables that Lance has been apart of. But since he is now not part of a group that makes him this big bad man that stands alone. Pfft, the kid can’t even kill himself successfully without going to find help.”
“I just feel like Lance is grasping at straws, right now. Trying to say anything he can to sway my outlook on this match-up. He even said that he knows my weaknesses. As if I had any. The only weakness I have is leggy females and blueberry muffins and Lance Ryan is neither of those things. The thing I want to ask him though, is if he really does know my weakness then why in the hell has he yet to beat me in a match? I mean, if Lance feels so secure that he can beat me this weekend even though he never has, why couldn’t he do it before? Because after all his years in this business beating the best there is and winning belts he finally found somebody that is better than he is. How come the great Lance Ryan can barely eek out a victory over Dave Holland or Reckless Jack and I can beat them with no problems? Lance, you KNOW your reign is over this Sunday. You know it.
He shrugs.
“You know, I don’t think I need to, but maybe I’ll accept Trent’s rickety alliance this Sunday. Lance’s time in the sun is over with. I don’t need Trent’s help to do anything, but I’d much rather see one of us walk out as champ instead of Lance. No offence to you, sir. I don’t mean any disrespect, just so you know. I just really don’t like your grandson is all. He’s kind of whiny. Bitchy. The type of guy you don’t want to have fighting for your honor, I can tell you that much. You deserve a man that actually has a chance. A man that is actually going to win. That man is me. And It would be an honor and a privilege to also dedicate this match to your name.”
He takes another pause.
“That belt is mine, sir. It’s gotta be.”
He reaches into his pocket and tosses a wad of bills onto the grave.
“And for God’s Sake get somebody to buy you a better landscaper.”
“Steve Bates?”
This mysterious voice causes Steve to turn around.
“Who in the hell told you my real last- uh-oh.”
Standing before him was three police men.
“Your coming with us.”
The police begin to handcuff Steve as the scene cuts to…..
Static.
The camera cuts inside and your jaw just drops. This limousine has absolutely everything. A champagne and appetizer bar. Plasma screen monitors mounted in places that nobody would even look for one. You drop your keys? Well for that split second you reach down to grab them you can watch TV thanks to the screen implanted underneath the seat. There’s a chandelier hanging from the ceiling and a fountain in the back corner. The radio is XM, and tuned to a special station that plays nothing but praises that announcers have said about Steve Awesome.
What else do you think Steve would listen too?
Well, right now he isn’t actually listening to the radio but it’s nice to have background noise while your taking care of personal business. Steve Awesome lays back on the padded seat, decked out in a pair of hip hugger blue jeans and a zip up hoodie that’s currently unzipped. Hey look, Awesome is showing off his abs. How does it feel to be right, Trent? Awesome carefully pours himself a small glass of champagne as he listens closely to his headset.
“Mmhmm. Yeah, babe. I know I have that photo shoot next week. What time do they need me? EIGHT O’CLOCK? Who in the hell takes pictures at eight O-****ing-Clock?”
He sighs an accepting sigh as he turns and fixes a stray hair in the mirror.
“Yeah, I know. It’s the price I pay for being so damn beautiful. People go to great extents to snap a photo of the prettiest player in the game. I once had this guy offer to give me a blow job if I posed for a picture with him.”
He pauses for a few seconds, allowing the person on the other end, presumably Layla, to speak.
“That’s what I thought to. You know I don’t swing that way. So I had to set the dude straight, so I walked up to him and I say to the guy I say, “I’ll allow a free picture, just this one time. But I’m just not like that. Next time, pay five bucks like the rest of them, AJ.”
He rolls his eyes.
“Yeah, I’ve always had AJ Phoenix under homo suspicion. But don’t worry, you’re the only one for me. No girl…or effeminate male….is going to get me to change my mind. I can hardly wait, next week after Picture Perfect were finally going to be the most dominate couple in nCw. I can just imagine it, we walk into the arena and everybody instantly turns there head to see us. They see the sparkle of the world championship that’s hanging from my right shoulder and then you on my left, adding symmetry to the whole deal. It’s what I’ve strived for my whole life and nobody is going to stop me from getting it. Not Trent and not Lance.”
At this point the window that separates the driver from the passenger comes sliding down. The driver, a small “Danny Devito” type cranks his short, fat little neck towards our hero.
“Driver: “Um….sir?”
“Hold on.”
Steve says, placing his palm on the speaker of his headset so that the other side can’t hear.
“Hey! What did I tell you about looking at me?”
The driver lowers his head.
The Driver: “Until I actually own something that costs more than a grand, I’m not allowed to make eye contact.”
“Exactly. Now apologize you little chicken McNugget.”
Driver: “Sir, I was only trying to tell you that-”
“I said apologize!”
Driver: “I’m sorry sir. It will never happen again.”
The driver turns to face forward.
Driver: “I was just trying to tell you that were almost at the-”
But the Driver couldn’t even finish his sentence since Steve decided to close up that little window before he could. Man, Awesome is an asshole. Ridding himself of the irritating driver problem, he goes back to the headset.
“Okay, I’m back. Oh, okay. Well you go ahead and do that. Make sure you get me a medium. Alright, I love you. Bye. OH! Hey Layla wait!”
He pauses to make sure she comes back on the phone.
“Make sure you fire my ass wiper guy. Somehow Lance Ryan found about that and it kind of makes me out to look like a lazy, spoiled rich kid. Can’t have that sort of thing for my public image, you know? Thanks babe, bye.”
Awesome pulls the headset out of his ear and sets it off to the side. Finally, he looks into the camera that had been pointing at him the whole time.
“Sorry about that folks. As a pending champion of the world, sometimes work gets in the way of play. But hey, even before all this crap about me not being able to handle the work load of being a champion came up, not only was I STILL busy as hell with company work. Posing for posters and autograph signings and owning my own strip club. I’m just as busy as you are Lance, despite taking weeks off at a time to cope with what ever family crisis you pull out of your ass at that point in time. In fact, I might even be more busy, trying to fit every little thing that I have to do to make sure this company flourishes. The only difference that will happen when I win that world title from you this Sunday is that I have to carry around a belt.”
Steve does a scan around the limo. Liking what he sees he gives one of those “getting comfortable” sighs as he leans back into the seat.
“God, I love being rich. I love being able to tell people that I could buy them and actually mean it. I love having all the latest breakthroughs in technology, being on top of all the latest fashions, the biggest house on my block. It all comes with being rich. All that work I do, the work for this company and the work I choose to do in my free time makes it so I’m so damn loaded. But check this out, being rich has this great perk. As it turns out, when your rich, people want to give you more free crap. This limo I’m riding in, I didn’t even have to freaking pay for it. I just say I need to go somewhere and a limo arrives not even twenty minutes later, filled to the brim with TVs and food and alcohol. I get all this stuff, free. No charge. Even when I could totally afford to buy like three of these with all the stuff inside it. Nope, people still go out of there way to please me. This is why I love being better than everybody so much. The free **** is grand.”
He chuckles.
“Trent, you know how that sort of thing goes. Well, you used to know all about it. Me and you, we used to terrorize the town. Bang the hottest chicks, drink the most expensive alcohol, party in the best clubs, wear the best fur coats from animals nobody’s ever herd of. But somewhere, Trent, you went soft. You stopped caring about only yourself and you went and grew a conscious. You started caring what the guys thought, what the people thought of you. You started to want to do the right thing like your some kind of boy scout. Really dude, you kind of became a bitch. And I don’t hang out with bitches. Just ask Sexy Jason.”
“But really dude, that’s not why our friendship died. It’s not why I want to ****ing tear you apart this Sunday. It’s not even my fault dude. It’s yours. You were the one who screwed our bond up the ass when you decided that you wanted a title shot too. You could have had it any time you wanted it Trent, any ****ing time. But instead, you had to stick your big fat Canadian nose into things and weasel your way into my title shot. You knew how much that belt means to me. You know that I’m going to do whatever I have to do to win it in our match at Picture Perfect. That world title, being able to call myself a world champion, it’s what I strive on. It’s what I need to live. But the air is thin up here on this mountain peak already. And I’m not going to let you suck up anymore of my air. That’s why this Sunday, I’m going to have to break you into nothing. That’s good for me, since really your nothing already.”
He takes a moment to look out the window. Trees pass by rapidly and other cars whiz by the window as they pass.
“You think it’s easy for me to say something like that to a guy who I used to call my best friend? To tell the one guy that I trusted more than The Ace that I’m going to have to take him out of the game this Sunday? God, I tried to keep that friendship going. Of all the friendships I’ve faked in this industry mine and yours was actually real. During the mid-card army, I was so distraught about the fact that you put yourself out of action. I wanted to come visit you but I couldn’t. I had to be the one that was strong and continue down the path that we set for ourselves. I sent you a few get well cards but I guess they must have gotten lost in the mail or something. Or maybe you just didn’t care at that point. Somehow, during that stint in the blue dress, you developed this jealousy towards me. I mean it’s easy to be jealous of somebody like me, but I never thought that you’d grow those feelings towards me. Not my best friend Trent.”
“Then, when you came back and started attacking me behind the mask. When I found out it was you and Adam, I was extremely pissed. Then to find out you did it because Ace and I were tag champs, I was confused. Sure, me and you, but mostly I, got a shot at the tag belts. But you were injured, so I got help from another member of the mid-card army to help me out during your absence. But you still wanted it your way. You still chose to attack us anyways. It took a lot of me to do it, but I forgave you for that. I don’t usually forgive that easily, but I did so because I’d rather be your friend. I wanted back what we had. Somebody to wreak havoc with. My own personal wingman. I wanted that friendship to work so much Trent, that I was even breaking kayfaybe with you. Doing something that could have costed both of us our jobs.”
But then, on that fateful Collision when I took it upon myself to demand a shot at the title that I deserve, to finally get a chance to breathe the only air I should be breathing, you had to waddle your broken down midget ass to the ring and stick your nose in something that didn’t concern you. Nobody called you out, nobody wanted anything to do with you in that moment Trent, but you came out anyway. Effectively killing my one on one shot . Riding my coat tails to another title shot. One that you’ll actually make it too, but unfortunately one that you’ll lose. Was it worth it best friend? Was it worth the beatings, the assaults, the sharp pains in your rib cage, the fighting just to breathe through the pain? Was getting this title shot worth all that? Those were just petty beat downs, imagine what I could do to you this Sunday, when my intention is to take you out for good? When I’m actually trying to hurt you!”
He pauses again. Thinking about this Sunday. The match, the moment when he holds the belt high above his head. Will that actually happen, nobody can say for sure. Except for Steve.
“You think I like saying that sort of stuff to you Trent? Do you?”
A cocky smirk grows on his face.
“You’re *** damn right I am. I love every second of it. Because you Trent, are dead weight. An anchor that was always holding me down. And now, I finally get a chance to put you out of your tenth grade misery. Look on the Brightside, at least you don’t have to take the SAT’s you vertically challenged, circus act looking bastard.”
“You know….the more I think about it Trent. Me putting you out of action is the best thing anybody could do for you now Trenticles. You’ve gone weak, soft, became a bitch. You’ve shown exactly what happens when you step out on your own. When best buddy Steve Awesome isn’t there to pick up the pieces for you. You end up a battered mess hanging out with a porn start in a crappy little shack in Georgia. Trying to scare people by living in a murderers house. Pathetic. With me, you at least lived in luxury. Hanging out with girls with a bit of class, instead of a porn star who has sex for money! But, it was upsetting to learn that Mercedes’ was in a comma awhile ago. How in the hell she managed to get inside punctuation is beyond me.”
He shrugs. He was about to speak some more but at that point his limo door swung open. The small egg shaped limo driver stood at the end of the door, doing his best to not look at Steve.
Driver: “We’re here sir.”
“It’s about damn time.”
Awesome snaps as he steps out of the door and takes a look around. Were at a cemetery. And right at the entrance of the graveyard was a gigantic puddle.
“Oh…your joking right? If you think I’m stepping in that puddle and ruining these shoes you have another thing coming.”
He says to nobody even though the driver was standing next to him.
“Don’t just stand there, fix this problem.”
The driver thinks for a second, must be hard with Steve always yelling at him, and eventually comes up with a plan. He takes off his driving jacket and places it flat on top of the puddle. It doesn’t cover the whole spot but it was enough to step on and jump top the other side.
“That’s it? God your useless. Useless and FAT! Looks like I have to solve this on my own.”
Awesome quickly levels the driver with a punch that knocks him clean out. Then Steve drags his limp body into the puddle and proceeds to step on the limo driver to get into the cemetery.
We cut to Steve walking somewhere in the cemetery.
“Why am I here you ask? No, I’m not exploring my dark side or anything dumb like that. I’m just…paying a certain someone a visit.”
He keeps his eyes on the names on the gravestones. After a few, he stops on the one he was looking for.
“Ah-Ha! Here we go.”
He looks around.
“Oh, would you look at the cheap layout. That’s just disrespectful. They could have at least got somebody to keep up with the landscaping.”
He shakes his head in disappointment. Afterwards, you can see him gaze into the headstone.
“So…..”
He said with a confident smirk.
“…..This is the great John Ryan. No, no. Don’t get up.”
He starts to laugh at his own joke. I thought it was pretty funny myself.
“Sorry. Maybe that one was a little too soon. Sir. I mean no disrespect to you by coming here. I want you to know that right off the bat.”
Steve walks up the side of the grave and lowers himself into a crouching position, so that its him and the gravestone in the shot.
“So your probably asking yourself why I came here then. Well it probably sounds like “mmmm mmmm mmmmmm”
Again he starts to laugh. But catches himself and stops.
“Sorry. No more jokes. Sir, I came here to visit you because I guess I wanted a chance to speak with you. Lance was saying that you pretty much raised Lance, you acted like a father to Lance in the times that he needed you and I guess, since I’m only a few days away from facing your grandson in a title match, I wanted to get to know the man that made Lance who he is today.”
He pauses.
“But that’s not going to happen is it? I’m sorry you had to go sir. From what I hear you kept yourself healthy. That’s why it was such a shock to Lance’s system when you left us. Everyone keeps telling him that your in a better place, this cemetery doesn’t count, but I don’t think that he is accepting that cliché as the closure he needs.”
“Did you know that Lance checked himself into a mental institution? Yeah, he was afraid that he was going to kill himself. The big bad world champion was worried that he might end his own life. I know, pathetic right? Some stability, right? Was his mind always this warped? Was he always this far off from the picture?”
“You see the way he tried to Dr. Phil me? Tried to go that “I was just like you when I was younger” route. Yeah, that’s why as soon as he stopped acting like me he started to suck. Did you see the way he tried to make me look like a fool? Unbelievable. I mean no disrespect by this Sir, but what did you fill that poor boys mind up with? What did you teach him? What kind of man did you raise him to be? Because the Lance Ryan that I know isn’t the Lance Ryan that Lance Ryan thinks he is. You understand that right? He is sitting there trying to chastise me for things that I pretty much learned from him. Saying that me relying on the Corporate Empire to get where I am today. What about No Warning Shots? Insurrection Inc, Age of the Revolution? Stables that Lance has been apart of. But since he is now not part of a group that makes him this big bad man that stands alone. Pfft, the kid can’t even kill himself successfully without going to find help.”
“I just feel like Lance is grasping at straws, right now. Trying to say anything he can to sway my outlook on this match-up. He even said that he knows my weaknesses. As if I had any. The only weakness I have is leggy females and blueberry muffins and Lance Ryan is neither of those things. The thing I want to ask him though, is if he really does know my weakness then why in the hell has he yet to beat me in a match? I mean, if Lance feels so secure that he can beat me this weekend even though he never has, why couldn’t he do it before? Because after all his years in this business beating the best there is and winning belts he finally found somebody that is better than he is. How come the great Lance Ryan can barely eek out a victory over Dave Holland or Reckless Jack and I can beat them with no problems? Lance, you KNOW your reign is over this Sunday. You know it.
He shrugs.
“You know, I don’t think I need to, but maybe I’ll accept Trent’s rickety alliance this Sunday. Lance’s time in the sun is over with. I don’t need Trent’s help to do anything, but I’d much rather see one of us walk out as champ instead of Lance. No offence to you, sir. I don’t mean any disrespect, just so you know. I just really don’t like your grandson is all. He’s kind of whiny. Bitchy. The type of guy you don’t want to have fighting for your honor, I can tell you that much. You deserve a man that actually has a chance. A man that is actually going to win. That man is me. And It would be an honor and a privilege to also dedicate this match to your name.”
He takes another pause.
“That belt is mine, sir. It’s gotta be.”
He reaches into his pocket and tosses a wad of bills onto the grave.
“And for God’s Sake get somebody to buy you a better landscaper.”
“Steve Bates?”
This mysterious voice causes Steve to turn around.
“Who in the hell told you my real last- uh-oh.”
Standing before him was three police men.
“Your coming with us.”
The police begin to handcuff Steve as the scene cuts to…..
Static.