Post by jjbiggs on Jul 31, 2007 9:41:35 GMT -6
JJ Biggs' 2008 Chevrolet Avalanche slows to a stop at the curb in front of his home. He looks at his house and all seems just as he left it. He chuckles a bit as he turns off the ignition and exits the vehicle. Leaving his bag in the truck; he walks up to the front door and he tries to unlock it. However, before he can even put his key in the handle, the door comes off it's hinges and falls onto the living room floor.
JJ Biggs: Son of a bitch.
He steps onto the door and he doesn't like what he sees. His house is an absolute mess. The coffee table is covered with empty pizza boxes and empty beer bottles, the television is covered with spray paint, and there is a random man passed out on top of his entertainment center. He proceeds to walk into the kitchen. Everything that was in his refrigerator has been thrown around the kitchen, food and the shelves. Even his plates and glasses have been taken from their cabinets and there are pieces of glass everywhere. He's ready to blow up, but a faint snoring sound causes him to put that on hold. He searches for the sound before coming to the conclusion that it's inside of the refrigerator. He opens it, and Jose Jose is sleeping upright with a beer in his hand.
----
Jose Jose. He's an illegal alien from Mexico who has dreams of becoming a professional wrestler. He used to know very little English, but after attempting to blend in with society, he took three weeks of speech classes and now he's fluent. He's currently on the run from Immigration and he's staying with JJ Biggs for a while until everything calms down. He used to wrestle in a small promotion that held their events in the basement of City Hall.
----
JJ Biggs: What the hell happened?
Jose Jose takes in a sharp breath as he slowly opens his eyes. It takes him a moment, but events from the night before slowly start coming back to him.
Jose Jose: BIGGSIE! YOU'RE HOME!
JJ Biggs: What the hell is your problem, Jose? I told you right before I left for the weekend -- not to do anything that would piss me off. So, what do you do? You ****ing do something that pissed me off!
Jose Jose: Well, it's not like I didn't listen to everything you told me. You said, and I remember this clearly, not to get any Mexican prostitutes. Well, I had every race of prostitutes but Mexican! See? I listen to what you say!
JJ Biggs: What? Get the hell out of my refrigerator.
Biggs moves to the side so Jose Jose can get out. Biggs is about to close the door, but he notices a puddle of yellow liquid at the bottom of the 'fridge.
JJ Biggs: You pissed yourself? Seriously?
Jose Jose: I'm sorry! Did you know you can't open a refrigerator door from the inside? I panicked! Jose's sorry. I'll clean it up!
JJ Biggs: You're damn right you'll clean it up. However, I want you to go upstairs and take a twenty minute shower first. With your clothes on. I don't want your nasty ass naked anywhere in my house.
Jose Jose: Good thing you weren't here last night.
JJ Biggs: GET UPSTAIRS!
Jose Jose runs out of the kitchen and he's upstairs in the blink of an eye. Suddenly, JJ's cell phone begins to ring and he pulls it out of his pocket. He flips it open and places it on his ear.
JJ Biggs: Yeah?
Jake Hudson: How come you haven't been to the gym lately?
JJ Biggs: I don't know. I just don't have enough time.
Jake Hudson: You need to make time, JJ. You do realize you're a professional wrestler, right? Professional wrestlers don't have the luxury of sitting on their asses all of the time. You have to train, and you have to train hard. You have a match this week with a company you just signed with! The ink isn't even dry on your contract yet. You don't want your first match in nCw or whatever to be crap, do you?
JJ Biggs: You're always trying to give me this speech, Jake. There's nothing I can do, I'm busy. My house is a mess right now because I left an illegal Mexican by himself for a weekend. I've learned my lesson.
Jake Hudson: What happened?
JJ Biggs: Apparently, they had one giant orgy.
Jake Hudson: Oh, that's....nice. But seriously, I know you have some **** on your plate, but do you even know who you're facing this week?
JJ Biggs: No.
Jake Hudson: Hexx.
JJ Biggs: That was a pretty decent television show. But, why the hell are you trying to talk to me about a T.V. show?
Jake Hudson: No, you're facing a wrestler named Hexx. He's into voodoo and stuff like that. I don't know, he's a whack job.
JJ Biggs: Oh. I remember! nCw sent me a tape of a message he recorded earlier this week! It cured my Insomnia. Man, I owe that guy.
Jake Hudson: Really? That's great news.
JJ Biggs: Yeah. But seriously, I'm not really worried going into my match this week, Jake. I find it very immature that a professional wrestler would waste his time arguing with an employee of a grocery store. If anything, I think it's embarrassing! He knows nothing about me and I think he should be using his spare time to see what he can find. He's coming into this match like it's a big joke, like he's going to roll over me like I'm nothing. You know, I don't see that happening. I don't care what kind of "magic" this idiot claims he has, but it won't be able to help him get the victory. The management of this company must not like him too much because if they did, he'd be wrestling someone other than myself. I am the best wrestler that has ever put on the boots!
Hexx has no idea what he's getting himself into, Jake. No idea.
Jake Hudson: I'm glad you think it'll be an easy victory. I still want to see you down at the gym between now and Saturday. It's not only your first match, but you're also in a tournament. Everyone is. This tournament will end with the crowning of the nCw World Heavyweight Champion. The belt wouldn't look good on anyone but yourself.
JJ Biggs: I agree. I'm The Champ. It's just a matter of time before I collect the gold.
Jake Hudson: Indeed. I wish I could be there to see it.
JJ Biggs: We've talked about this, Jake. The gym takes up too much of your time and you're not able to leave it to attend these wrestling events.
Jake Hudson: Yeah. Well, I am going to let you go. It seems you have a lot of work to do at home.
JJ Biggs: No, Jose Jose has a lot of work to do.
Biggs closes his phone and he drops it back into his pocket. He walks through the rest of the rooms on the first floor and just like the kitchen and living room; they are a complete mess. He shakes his head before walking back into the living room and Jose Jose has made his way back down.
Jose Jose: Are you still mad?
JJ Biggs: No, I'm not mad. In fact, I'm going to go in my backyard and enjoy a nice swim.
Jose Jose: CAN I COME?!
JJ Biggs: No. You're to stay inside and clean this place up. I mean it. I want everything back to normal.
Jose Jose: Fine.
JJ Biggs: Thank you.
JJ pats Jose Jose on the back as he walks by. He slowly makes his way up the stairs which is worse than downstairs!
JJ Biggs: JOSE!!!
Jose Jose: He's not here right now!
JJ cusses up a storm as Jose Jose slowly makes his way over to the staircase. He walks up them slowly and disappears down the hallway after he reaches the top.
JJ Biggs: Son of a bitch.
He steps onto the door and he doesn't like what he sees. His house is an absolute mess. The coffee table is covered with empty pizza boxes and empty beer bottles, the television is covered with spray paint, and there is a random man passed out on top of his entertainment center. He proceeds to walk into the kitchen. Everything that was in his refrigerator has been thrown around the kitchen, food and the shelves. Even his plates and glasses have been taken from their cabinets and there are pieces of glass everywhere. He's ready to blow up, but a faint snoring sound causes him to put that on hold. He searches for the sound before coming to the conclusion that it's inside of the refrigerator. He opens it, and Jose Jose is sleeping upright with a beer in his hand.
----
Jose Jose. He's an illegal alien from Mexico who has dreams of becoming a professional wrestler. He used to know very little English, but after attempting to blend in with society, he took three weeks of speech classes and now he's fluent. He's currently on the run from Immigration and he's staying with JJ Biggs for a while until everything calms down. He used to wrestle in a small promotion that held their events in the basement of City Hall.
----
JJ Biggs: What the hell happened?
Jose Jose takes in a sharp breath as he slowly opens his eyes. It takes him a moment, but events from the night before slowly start coming back to him.
Jose Jose: BIGGSIE! YOU'RE HOME!
JJ Biggs: What the hell is your problem, Jose? I told you right before I left for the weekend -- not to do anything that would piss me off. So, what do you do? You ****ing do something that pissed me off!
Jose Jose: Well, it's not like I didn't listen to everything you told me. You said, and I remember this clearly, not to get any Mexican prostitutes. Well, I had every race of prostitutes but Mexican! See? I listen to what you say!
JJ Biggs: What? Get the hell out of my refrigerator.
Biggs moves to the side so Jose Jose can get out. Biggs is about to close the door, but he notices a puddle of yellow liquid at the bottom of the 'fridge.
JJ Biggs: You pissed yourself? Seriously?
Jose Jose: I'm sorry! Did you know you can't open a refrigerator door from the inside? I panicked! Jose's sorry. I'll clean it up!
JJ Biggs: You're damn right you'll clean it up. However, I want you to go upstairs and take a twenty minute shower first. With your clothes on. I don't want your nasty ass naked anywhere in my house.
Jose Jose: Good thing you weren't here last night.
JJ Biggs: GET UPSTAIRS!
Jose Jose runs out of the kitchen and he's upstairs in the blink of an eye. Suddenly, JJ's cell phone begins to ring and he pulls it out of his pocket. He flips it open and places it on his ear.
JJ Biggs: Yeah?
Jake Hudson: How come you haven't been to the gym lately?
JJ Biggs: I don't know. I just don't have enough time.
Jake Hudson: You need to make time, JJ. You do realize you're a professional wrestler, right? Professional wrestlers don't have the luxury of sitting on their asses all of the time. You have to train, and you have to train hard. You have a match this week with a company you just signed with! The ink isn't even dry on your contract yet. You don't want your first match in nCw or whatever to be crap, do you?
JJ Biggs: You're always trying to give me this speech, Jake. There's nothing I can do, I'm busy. My house is a mess right now because I left an illegal Mexican by himself for a weekend. I've learned my lesson.
Jake Hudson: What happened?
JJ Biggs: Apparently, they had one giant orgy.
Jake Hudson: Oh, that's....nice. But seriously, I know you have some **** on your plate, but do you even know who you're facing this week?
JJ Biggs: No.
Jake Hudson: Hexx.
JJ Biggs: That was a pretty decent television show. But, why the hell are you trying to talk to me about a T.V. show?
Jake Hudson: No, you're facing a wrestler named Hexx. He's into voodoo and stuff like that. I don't know, he's a whack job.
JJ Biggs: Oh. I remember! nCw sent me a tape of a message he recorded earlier this week! It cured my Insomnia. Man, I owe that guy.
Jake Hudson: Really? That's great news.
JJ Biggs: Yeah. But seriously, I'm not really worried going into my match this week, Jake. I find it very immature that a professional wrestler would waste his time arguing with an employee of a grocery store. If anything, I think it's embarrassing! He knows nothing about me and I think he should be using his spare time to see what he can find. He's coming into this match like it's a big joke, like he's going to roll over me like I'm nothing. You know, I don't see that happening. I don't care what kind of "magic" this idiot claims he has, but it won't be able to help him get the victory. The management of this company must not like him too much because if they did, he'd be wrestling someone other than myself. I am the best wrestler that has ever put on the boots!
Hexx has no idea what he's getting himself into, Jake. No idea.
Jake Hudson: I'm glad you think it'll be an easy victory. I still want to see you down at the gym between now and Saturday. It's not only your first match, but you're also in a tournament. Everyone is. This tournament will end with the crowning of the nCw World Heavyweight Champion. The belt wouldn't look good on anyone but yourself.
JJ Biggs: I agree. I'm The Champ. It's just a matter of time before I collect the gold.
Jake Hudson: Indeed. I wish I could be there to see it.
JJ Biggs: We've talked about this, Jake. The gym takes up too much of your time and you're not able to leave it to attend these wrestling events.
Jake Hudson: Yeah. Well, I am going to let you go. It seems you have a lot of work to do at home.
JJ Biggs: No, Jose Jose has a lot of work to do.
Biggs closes his phone and he drops it back into his pocket. He walks through the rest of the rooms on the first floor and just like the kitchen and living room; they are a complete mess. He shakes his head before walking back into the living room and Jose Jose has made his way back down.
Jose Jose: Are you still mad?
JJ Biggs: No, I'm not mad. In fact, I'm going to go in my backyard and enjoy a nice swim.
Jose Jose: CAN I COME?!
JJ Biggs: No. You're to stay inside and clean this place up. I mean it. I want everything back to normal.
Jose Jose: Fine.
JJ Biggs: Thank you.
JJ pats Jose Jose on the back as he walks by. He slowly makes his way up the stairs which is worse than downstairs!
JJ Biggs: JOSE!!!
Jose Jose: He's not here right now!
JJ cusses up a storm as Jose Jose slowly makes his way over to the staircase. He walks up them slowly and disappears down the hallway after he reaches the top.