Post by Joe Everyman on Mar 22, 2009 1:39:48 GMT -6
The scene opens up with Toad's bloody body thrown across the room. He slightly twitches, just to show he's not completely dead. Joe is holding a sword he pulled off the wall with blood on it. He then walks out into the hallway where Scotty is sitting on top of the Panzer.
Scotty Callaway: Was our prize in there?
Joe Everyman: No...our princess is in another castle...
Scotty Callaway: Oh god dammit. That always happens!
Joe then walks up and gets up onto the Panzer.
Scotty Callaway: What are we ganna do now?
Joe Everyman: We're ganna kill some video game bitches!
Joe and Scotty close the hatch as the tank rolls around and drives out of the hallway.
Robser: This is an absolute outrage!
Honchandorf: But sir, they didn't get the princess.
Robser: I know, but now their coming for us!
Honchandorf: How do you know that?
Robser: I'm the final boss of this game, I know and see all!
Honchandorf: Who says you're the final boss? Maybe it's me.
King Ev-Ve-De: Or me!
Jessie Kane and James Kane: Or us!
Robser: Shut up Spike.
Jessie Kane: It's Jessie! And I look pretty...
Vickie Gruntilda: What about me?
Assdross (Kelly Fox): Or me!
Robser: Ok, everyone shut up! I'm the final ****ing boss god dammit!!!
Everyone in the room gets up and walks out.
Robser: Assholes!
Joe and Scotty are driving the Panzer up an abnormally large flight of stairs, one that fits the tank.
Joe Everyman: This is abnormal, but very convenient.
Scotty Callaway: Yeah, it's very nice.
CRUNCH!
Scotty Callaway: What the hell was that?
Joe pops the hatch and looks behind them and sees the mangled body of Jessie and James Kane. Joe tries to not let the smile out...but can't help it anymore.
Joe Everyman: Oops.
Scotty Callaway: What was that?
Joe Everyman: I think we just ran over Spike and Brad Kane.
Scotty Callaway: Really?
Joe Everyman: Yeah...but Spike was dressed like a chesty broad.
Scotty Callaway: I heard he does that in real life, not just in the video game world. But, onward and upward!
Joe puts the tank in full throttle and powers up the stairs.
CRUNCH!
Joe Everyman: Oh god dammit! How can these people miss our tank this badly?
Joe then pulls the tank forward and looks behind him.
Joe Everyman: ...why does Evil look like a weird ass duck?
Scotty Callaway: Does he have a huge hammer?
Joe Everyman: Yeah, he does.
Scotty Callaway: Crap, he was King DeDeDe, I love the guy!
Joe Everyman: Come on, let's just go...
CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH!!
Joe Everyman: Oh my god...
Joe looks behind the tank and sees the mangled bodies of Vickie Gruntilda, Assdross and Honchandorf.
Joe Everyman: Um...we just ran over Vickie Guerrero, Kelly Fox wearing an Andross mask...and that one guy who is in Talladega nights.
Scotty Callaway: Will Ferrell?
Joe Everyman: Yeah, I think that's him.
Scotty Callaway: But...why are Vickie Guerrero and Kelly Fox here?
Joe Everyman: I guess there wasn't enough weird ass whores here.
Joe and Scotty pause for the studio audience to laugh.
Joe Everyman: Ok, we're almost at the top of this huge staircase.
The tank finally hits the top of the stairs and levels out. Instead of stoping and getting out, he blasts the door to the throne room open! Joe then rolls the tank in and parks it right before the table, where Robser sits alone.
Robser: I see you're here to fight...so let's fight!
BAM!!!
The Panzer fires a round, blowing the table and most of the room apart, making Robser fly out into the fields below.
Robser: You bastard.....
Robser then flies down and slams into the lake below.
Joe Everyman: Wow...that was simple.
Scotty Callaway: Yeah, I've never seen a final boss lose that quickly.
Scotty then puts the tank into gear, but it starts rolling forward.
Joe Everyman: Um, Scotty?
Scotty Callaway: Yesum?
Joe Everyman: The tank is rolling forward!
Scotty Callaway: What?!
The tank gets closer and closer to the edge, and then rolls off.
Joe Everyman and Scotty Callaway: Ahhhhhh!
BAM!
Joe Everyman: Blah!
Joe sits up in his arm chair quickly, and tries to figure out his surroundings. He is sitting in his basement with Scotty, the lights are out and the room littered with trash and game controllers.
Joe Everyman: What...the hell?
Joe looks at the flickering television, and a paused scene from Super Mario Brothers is waiting to be played.
Joe Everyman: Oh my god...it was just a dream.
Robser: Or was it?!?
Joe Everyman: Ahhh!
Fade to black.
Scotty Callaway: Was our prize in there?
Joe Everyman: No...our princess is in another castle...
Scotty Callaway: Oh god dammit. That always happens!
Joe then walks up and gets up onto the Panzer.
Scotty Callaway: What are we ganna do now?
Joe Everyman: We're ganna kill some video game bitches!
Joe and Scotty close the hatch as the tank rolls around and drives out of the hallway.
Robser: This is an absolute outrage!
Honchandorf: But sir, they didn't get the princess.
Robser: I know, but now their coming for us!
Honchandorf: How do you know that?
Robser: I'm the final boss of this game, I know and see all!
Honchandorf: Who says you're the final boss? Maybe it's me.
King Ev-Ve-De: Or me!
Jessie Kane and James Kane: Or us!
Robser: Shut up Spike.
Jessie Kane: It's Jessie! And I look pretty...
Vickie Gruntilda: What about me?
Assdross (Kelly Fox): Or me!
Robser: Ok, everyone shut up! I'm the final ****ing boss god dammit!!!
Everyone in the room gets up and walks out.
Robser: Assholes!
Joe and Scotty are driving the Panzer up an abnormally large flight of stairs, one that fits the tank.
Joe Everyman: This is abnormal, but very convenient.
Scotty Callaway: Yeah, it's very nice.
CRUNCH!
Scotty Callaway: What the hell was that?
Joe pops the hatch and looks behind them and sees the mangled body of Jessie and James Kane. Joe tries to not let the smile out...but can't help it anymore.
Joe Everyman: Oops.
Scotty Callaway: What was that?
Joe Everyman: I think we just ran over Spike and Brad Kane.
Scotty Callaway: Really?
Joe Everyman: Yeah...but Spike was dressed like a chesty broad.
Scotty Callaway: I heard he does that in real life, not just in the video game world. But, onward and upward!
Joe puts the tank in full throttle and powers up the stairs.
CRUNCH!
Joe Everyman: Oh god dammit! How can these people miss our tank this badly?
Joe then pulls the tank forward and looks behind him.
Joe Everyman: ...why does Evil look like a weird ass duck?
Scotty Callaway: Does he have a huge hammer?
Joe Everyman: Yeah, he does.
Scotty Callaway: Crap, he was King DeDeDe, I love the guy!
Joe Everyman: Come on, let's just go...
CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH!!
Joe Everyman: Oh my god...
Joe looks behind the tank and sees the mangled bodies of Vickie Gruntilda, Assdross and Honchandorf.
Joe Everyman: Um...we just ran over Vickie Guerrero, Kelly Fox wearing an Andross mask...and that one guy who is in Talladega nights.
Scotty Callaway: Will Ferrell?
Joe Everyman: Yeah, I think that's him.
Scotty Callaway: But...why are Vickie Guerrero and Kelly Fox here?
Joe Everyman: I guess there wasn't enough weird ass whores here.
Joe and Scotty pause for the studio audience to laugh.
Joe Everyman: Ok, we're almost at the top of this huge staircase.
The tank finally hits the top of the stairs and levels out. Instead of stoping and getting out, he blasts the door to the throne room open! Joe then rolls the tank in and parks it right before the table, where Robser sits alone.
Robser: I see you're here to fight...so let's fight!
BAM!!!
The Panzer fires a round, blowing the table and most of the room apart, making Robser fly out into the fields below.
Robser: You bastard.....
Robser then flies down and slams into the lake below.
Joe Everyman: Wow...that was simple.
Scotty Callaway: Yeah, I've never seen a final boss lose that quickly.
Scotty then puts the tank into gear, but it starts rolling forward.
Joe Everyman: Um, Scotty?
Scotty Callaway: Yesum?
Joe Everyman: The tank is rolling forward!
Scotty Callaway: What?!
The tank gets closer and closer to the edge, and then rolls off.
Joe Everyman and Scotty Callaway: Ahhhhhh!
BAM!
Joe Everyman: Blah!
Joe sits up in his arm chair quickly, and tries to figure out his surroundings. He is sitting in his basement with Scotty, the lights are out and the room littered with trash and game controllers.
Joe Everyman: What...the hell?
Joe looks at the flickering television, and a paused scene from Super Mario Brothers is waiting to be played.
Joe Everyman: Oh my god...it was just a dream.
Robser: Or was it?!?
Joe Everyman: Ahhh!
Fade to black.