Post by JackHammer on Apr 22, 2009 0:07:32 GMT -6
A light flickered then lit up the blackness, turning dark to light within seconds, showing off the gun metal grey walls of concrete with all of their cracks and chips, the muffled sounds of a busy workforce in the background and just emptiness front and centre. The distance is nothing more than a blur, shadowy figures moving about as they work with the natural daylight shining through open double doors behind them, making them almost silhouette like as they move to and fro, some carrying large objects, others holding just smaller items in their hands, footsteps echoing through this hallway slowly, sounding as if they're moving closer to the camera until a figure with long blonde hair, a goatee and piercing green eyes steps into the clear foreground, the camera cutting him off from the shoulders down but getting a clear glimpse of his jet black shirt, watching and listennig as he takes a slow breath then exhales loudly. He stares into the lens and gently smirks for a brief few seconds, Angel Black noticeably absent from this near close up shot.
JackHammer: A Night To Remember 2009 is just around the corner, for the first time in the years, I will be involved in the Six Man Match and become Xtreme champion, making me the biggest and most talented winner in the championship's history. My A Night To Remember record at the moment is 0-0 having never suffered a loss at the event so far and that's not about to change anytime soon. Guaranteed I'll be celebrating 6-0 at A Night To Remember and with the Xtreme championship in my possession. All it takes is one elimination and I'll be once more raising my hands in victory in an NCW ring, fans booing or cheering my name as I take in their adulation, their awe, giving them what they wanna see and I know for a fact that they wanna see the greatest wrestler in the business step all over these losers to NCW and in some cases, losers to this industry, to mark step one in my road to domination, setting me on my way to heading to the top of the mountain again where I belong.
One thing got to me though, one thing that bugs the hell out of me and makes me question where the hell these opponents, these wrestlers, whoever they are get found. Joe Everyman, has he even had a match? I've heard him running his mouth and yet never seen him anywhere near a ring at all, not even to train. Ron Gibson hasn't opened his mouth for a while but nothing interesting comes out of it anyway so luckily we'll be spared until A Night To Remember. I wish the others would've taken a page out of Ron Gibson and Joe's book because what I'm hearing so far is utter crap, which I guess is fair enough as it matches the talent pool this company's had the last few years. Let me start with Curtis Kanyon, a kid who should be home looking after his homicidal baby brother and his talking dog. Let me get this straight, you think you have a chance of winning, a guy who apparently hasn't stopped throwing up for days, looks too drunk to even stay upright and writes little love letters to himself to reassure himself that he's special, worth living, not the waste of human life that everyone knows he is. Curtis, you'd be best advised to keep yourself locked away in your hotel room with your paper and pen, writing messages and shopping lists down, taking notes on what you need to do to stop failing at life, maybe you could get yourself a good book and read it? I heard Curious George is ideal for your mental age level, nice and easy, no longer will you have to put pieces of paper together to string near-coherent sentences together. I just had a revelation. Your mumbling, irreverent rantings, those things you call promos which the rest of humanity has nightmares about and dreads having to listen to or watch, the way it seems your words are just jumbled up and picked out at random......that's how you create those pieces of crap we've had to watch. You tear out a page from a book, rip it to tiny pieces then pick out random scraps to string into sentences then repeat them for the benefit of a camera. You spew out unintelligible mindless drivel as much as you spew out the contents of your stomach, which is to say 24/7 judging from the way you've been behaving the last week or so. The only part of your little video that made any sense was when you talked about me being the biggest threat in the match due to my past accomplishments. Most favoured to win? By the fans yes, by the others in the NCW locker room? Those monkeyspanks don't know real talent, that's why the "best" matches and wrestlers this company remembers are the overrated ones like Kristoff Liam Bates, Joe Everyman, the list goes on. I am the man to watch in this contest and thing is, my experience in this business, in ppv matches, I know all the tricks to stay in this type of match and it doesn't matter what you try to do, there ain't a thing you can do to hurt or eliminate me. You want it to be your night, your chance to shine, your best known moment? See me and you have differing ideas on how you'll be remembered. In your eyes you'll be remembered for winning a Six Man Match at A Night To Remember then going on to win other championships. As far as I can tell, you'll be remembered for being just another nameless face that didn't win the Six Man Match, from the wrestling industry, by the greatest athlete to enter the squared circle in history. So you wanna make us bleed, cry, torture us? Curtis, face it, the only way you could possibly torture us is to make us watch another of your promos again. You wanna bore us, violently and with impact, I know your type, cookie cutter depressive, just the same, abusing your body with alcohol to make you feel like those of us who actually suffer from depression in our every day lives. Until you have something with substance to talk about, don't bother again, spare us, ok?
Which brings me to Ron Gibson, a man with little to no talent, who doubted himself when he came in and only after encouragement from your manager did you get slightly better albeit only slightly. You're such an obscure little a*s that your importance to this world could be likened to The Goon's impact on wrestling history. You're nothing but an untalented and ungrateful kid ho smoked too much weed and suddenly thinks that just because he managed to fluke his way to a few championships he's suddenly important. We'll see how important you are when you don't win the Six Man Match.
Kristoff Liam Bates, a man who seems to have done it all but is still an underdog. "Under" and "dog" perhaps describing you perfectly. So you've been a champion in NCW huh? Wanna retain the Xtreme champion? Too bad, I'll be walking out the champ Now you and your little girlfriend are hanging up decorations, how cute. I'll be hanging something too at A Night To Remember only it won't be tinsel and pictures of Santa, it'll be you that's hanging, watching me win the Xtreme title as you swing, taking your last choked breath while I celebrate in the ring with the Xtreme championship above my head after going through you and all the others in the Six Man Match. Now you see, Kristoff, a few lies were made by yourself. Older than Dick Clark? Considering I'm not even 40 years old yet and to a lot of wrestling promoters in the past that was fairly young and starting to get into their prime then you haven't really done your homework have you? None of my accomplishments are recent?
Then we come to Sexy Jason, a man too cocky for his own good who thinks that because he was big somewhere else and didn't compete for this title in awhile, he's suddenly gonna walk into A Night To Remember a nobody and walk out as Xtreme champion. Now if I wasn't gonna be in that match then I would've agreed with you and congratulated you on being the next nobody to win that title then disappear off the face of the planet less than a year later. Now, after viewing your promo, listening to what you had to say, I came to one conclusion, the same conclusion,while you are beating no-name a*sholes who are a dime a dozen because while you're concentrating on getting rid of those and trying to make a name for yourself, I'll be having my hand raised in victory.
Until the next time I'm forced to see a sh*tty promo, I have business to attend to.
JackHammer moves towards the right side of the screen, the camera remaining fixed as it catches the side of his head moving off out of shot, the shadowy figures still working in the background as we end the promo after a few choice words from the winner of the Six Man Match for the NCW Xtreme Title .
JackHammer: A Night To Remember 2009 is just around the corner, for the first time in the years, I will be involved in the Six Man Match and become Xtreme champion, making me the biggest and most talented winner in the championship's history. My A Night To Remember record at the moment is 0-0 having never suffered a loss at the event so far and that's not about to change anytime soon. Guaranteed I'll be celebrating 6-0 at A Night To Remember and with the Xtreme championship in my possession. All it takes is one elimination and I'll be once more raising my hands in victory in an NCW ring, fans booing or cheering my name as I take in their adulation, their awe, giving them what they wanna see and I know for a fact that they wanna see the greatest wrestler in the business step all over these losers to NCW and in some cases, losers to this industry, to mark step one in my road to domination, setting me on my way to heading to the top of the mountain again where I belong.
One thing got to me though, one thing that bugs the hell out of me and makes me question where the hell these opponents, these wrestlers, whoever they are get found. Joe Everyman, has he even had a match? I've heard him running his mouth and yet never seen him anywhere near a ring at all, not even to train. Ron Gibson hasn't opened his mouth for a while but nothing interesting comes out of it anyway so luckily we'll be spared until A Night To Remember. I wish the others would've taken a page out of Ron Gibson and Joe's book because what I'm hearing so far is utter crap, which I guess is fair enough as it matches the talent pool this company's had the last few years. Let me start with Curtis Kanyon, a kid who should be home looking after his homicidal baby brother and his talking dog. Let me get this straight, you think you have a chance of winning, a guy who apparently hasn't stopped throwing up for days, looks too drunk to even stay upright and writes little love letters to himself to reassure himself that he's special, worth living, not the waste of human life that everyone knows he is. Curtis, you'd be best advised to keep yourself locked away in your hotel room with your paper and pen, writing messages and shopping lists down, taking notes on what you need to do to stop failing at life, maybe you could get yourself a good book and read it? I heard Curious George is ideal for your mental age level, nice and easy, no longer will you have to put pieces of paper together to string near-coherent sentences together. I just had a revelation. Your mumbling, irreverent rantings, those things you call promos which the rest of humanity has nightmares about and dreads having to listen to or watch, the way it seems your words are just jumbled up and picked out at random......that's how you create those pieces of crap we've had to watch. You tear out a page from a book, rip it to tiny pieces then pick out random scraps to string into sentences then repeat them for the benefit of a camera. You spew out unintelligible mindless drivel as much as you spew out the contents of your stomach, which is to say 24/7 judging from the way you've been behaving the last week or so. The only part of your little video that made any sense was when you talked about me being the biggest threat in the match due to my past accomplishments. Most favoured to win? By the fans yes, by the others in the NCW locker room? Those monkeyspanks don't know real talent, that's why the "best" matches and wrestlers this company remembers are the overrated ones like Kristoff Liam Bates, Joe Everyman, the list goes on. I am the man to watch in this contest and thing is, my experience in this business, in ppv matches, I know all the tricks to stay in this type of match and it doesn't matter what you try to do, there ain't a thing you can do to hurt or eliminate me. You want it to be your night, your chance to shine, your best known moment? See me and you have differing ideas on how you'll be remembered. In your eyes you'll be remembered for winning a Six Man Match at A Night To Remember then going on to win other championships. As far as I can tell, you'll be remembered for being just another nameless face that didn't win the Six Man Match, from the wrestling industry, by the greatest athlete to enter the squared circle in history. So you wanna make us bleed, cry, torture us? Curtis, face it, the only way you could possibly torture us is to make us watch another of your promos again. You wanna bore us, violently and with impact, I know your type, cookie cutter depressive, just the same, abusing your body with alcohol to make you feel like those of us who actually suffer from depression in our every day lives. Until you have something with substance to talk about, don't bother again, spare us, ok?
Which brings me to Ron Gibson, a man with little to no talent, who doubted himself when he came in and only after encouragement from your manager did you get slightly better albeit only slightly. You're such an obscure little a*s that your importance to this world could be likened to The Goon's impact on wrestling history. You're nothing but an untalented and ungrateful kid ho smoked too much weed and suddenly thinks that just because he managed to fluke his way to a few championships he's suddenly important. We'll see how important you are when you don't win the Six Man Match.
Kristoff Liam Bates, a man who seems to have done it all but is still an underdog. "Under" and "dog" perhaps describing you perfectly. So you've been a champion in NCW huh? Wanna retain the Xtreme champion? Too bad, I'll be walking out the champ Now you and your little girlfriend are hanging up decorations, how cute. I'll be hanging something too at A Night To Remember only it won't be tinsel and pictures of Santa, it'll be you that's hanging, watching me win the Xtreme title as you swing, taking your last choked breath while I celebrate in the ring with the Xtreme championship above my head after going through you and all the others in the Six Man Match. Now you see, Kristoff, a few lies were made by yourself. Older than Dick Clark? Considering I'm not even 40 years old yet and to a lot of wrestling promoters in the past that was fairly young and starting to get into their prime then you haven't really done your homework have you? None of my accomplishments are recent?
Then we come to Sexy Jason, a man too cocky for his own good who thinks that because he was big somewhere else and didn't compete for this title in awhile, he's suddenly gonna walk into A Night To Remember a nobody and walk out as Xtreme champion. Now if I wasn't gonna be in that match then I would've agreed with you and congratulated you on being the next nobody to win that title then disappear off the face of the planet less than a year later. Now, after viewing your promo, listening to what you had to say, I came to one conclusion, the same conclusion,while you are beating no-name a*sholes who are a dime a dozen because while you're concentrating on getting rid of those and trying to make a name for yourself, I'll be having my hand raised in victory.
Until the next time I'm forced to see a sh*tty promo, I have business to attend to.
JackHammer moves towards the right side of the screen, the camera remaining fixed as it catches the side of his head moving off out of shot, the shadowy figures still working in the background as we end the promo after a few choice words from the winner of the Six Man Match for the NCW Xtreme Title .