Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Apr 24, 2009 2:37:27 GMT -6
*We open to find Curtis drinking a beer in the Dirty Deal locker room. Ron comes walking in with Amber on a leash. Russell follows behind holding a plastic bag.*
Curtis: Took you long enough.
Ron: Just walking Amber. She took too long sniffing around a tree.
Amber: I was trying to get away.
Ron: She eventually did her business. Russell picked it up because it's apparently the law.
Russell: Well, it is with dogs. I assume its the same deal.
Ron: And I'm pretty sure he liked it.
Amber: You guys are so gross.
Ron: What the hell were you doing!?
Curtis: Just training.
*Curtis takes another swig.*
Curtis: You know, I just don't get it. I don't get why we're seen as repeat offenders? We're fresh! We're kick ass! We go at things old school style of fight first, ask questions later. Who the **** are these *****s to tell us we're untalented and boring? I happen to think you sir are quite the bad ass and very grounded, and make a lot of sense.
Ron: So now, which beer are you on?
Curtis: Twelth? Maybe...
Ron: You son of a *****! You couldn't wait for me!
*Ron runs to the kitchen, jerking Amber and causing her to run behind him in order not to fall.*
Curtis: But you know what's worse? Incessant rambling like that Jake Hamburger guy! He went on about me for fifteen minutes, and I think the only thing he got right was the drinking. Where the **** is my talking dog!? I wish I had a talking dog! And I don't keep a ***** journal! What the **** is up with that!
Russell: You are just racking up the fines.
Ron: SHUT UP!
Curtis: You know what, I can do the same thing!
*Curtis looks at the camera.*
Curtis: Hey Jake! You know what I'm sick and tired of!? I'm sick and tired of you prancing around in your dress, singing Mary Poppins songs all day and then kicking baby seals in the face! What the hell is your problem man! That doesn't win you matches! Maybe I'll bring a baby seal down to the ring and beat the **** out of you with it to show you the other side of the fence!
Ron: ****ing baby seal killing jack ***.
Curtis: Right!?
Russell: You guys need to quit the cursing or you're going to be out of money.
Curtis: Shut up Russell, I got **** you money all right! That means I got enough money to say "**** YOU!"
Russell: That...was...just mean...
*Russell runs off crying.*
Curtis: Back to Jake, Jake, you suck. You had the drop on us, and you still lost, plain and simple. But I'm not going to douche it up like some people and say, "don't bother showing up, shut up now, k thnx by!" Talk all you want, make up whatever you want, I don't care. Show up, because I'm going to level you. I'm going to hammer your *** through the **** ring if you try and step up to me!
Amber: I don't see that happening.
Curtis: Woman! Seriously...okay? You still trippin' on Jason? Jason doesn't love you! Jason is a womanizing son of a ****! If this Sunday's match was a "who can bang the most chicks and get gonorrhea first" he'd have the Xtreme title two weeks ago! But nah, he's a bitch. He's going to get schooled. Give me a weapon, I'm gonna kill a *****. Give Ron a weapon, whoever is in front of him is dead! Put us both in there, nobodies going to have an open casket funeral! Especially a pretty boy like Jason. Let Jason worry about Jade, let him get all roided up, let him come at us with his man boobs and his hat and his glasses and his charm, and we will tear it all down. We will rip it all away, just like we've done every time we've fought him before! Nothing changes with Jason. Maybe that's why we repeat? Doesn't matter.
Amber: Maybe...maybe Jason isn't all that...
Ron: Finally! A break through! You'll get a doggy bone!
*Ron pulls out a dog bone from under the sofa and tries to force it in Amber's mouth, but she tries to push him away.*
Russell: Have you...stopped being mean yet...
*Russell pokes his head in.*
Curtis: Why don't you leave and NEVER come back!
Russell: YOU DON'T MEAN THAT!
*Russell runs off crying again.*
Curtis: Now Joe, Joe what is there to say about Joe? Will Joe be there!? Oh ****, I made a no show joke! Look at me and how awesome I am! BA HA HA H--SHUT UP! Joe, I know you're going to show up, because frankly, you'd be an idiot not too! You've taken our beatings before, you're going to take them again. But you want that brass ring don't you boy? So you're going to show up. And it's going to be my great pleasure to make sure YOU don't reach it! If there's anything better then winning, its winning and watching your opponents heart break and shatter into millions of tiny pieces. That's what's going to happen to you Joe! You want to be the best, like no one ever was? Well I want to bash your head in with a chair! And I will this Sunday, just you wait and see!
Ron: I want to bash him good too.
Curtis: Oh you will Ron, you will.
Ron: Excellent.
Curtis: And then the Champ. Mr. Bates. How can you believe in yourself when your wife, your woman, your soul mate, doesn't? What the hell is that? My woman believes in me one thousand percent! I could call her right now and she'll tell you the same thing. So if you keep your mind on your hooker and your little brats, you're not walking out champion. You've got a big match ahead, you're the guy with the target, and yeah, we're going to beat the ever loving **** out of you, no bones about it man! But if everyone fights over you, that gives you an advantage. **** that! Dirty Deal is going to maim you for certain, but we're going to maim everyone equally. That's how we roll! And I guarantee you, YOU will get seriously injured Bates! So if you want to keep your promises, if you want to be able to go home and make love to your tramp, then maybe the best thing for you to do is walk away or play dead or whatever and leave the fighting to the big boys who can keep there *****es in line! You beat some guy named Harold? Like I give a ****! I ain't Harold, you haven't beaten me buddy!
Ron: I ain't Harold either.
Curtis: But on the other hand, please don't lie down. Please don't leave the ring mid-match. Please let us hurt you and destroy your life Bates. Because then we'll have another feather in our cap.
Ron: Another one to bite the dust.
Curtis: We're going to break each and every adversary in that match, and when it boils down to Ron and I, then the real show begins. Then the NCW audience will finally get to see some REAL talent fighting. Ron and I are true competitors, true gladiators! We hit each other with various weapons throughout the day just to keep our game up! You think we're going to get divided by being in one match where we're pitted sort of against each other? No! If Ron gets a good pin, I don't mind standing back and watching if he gets the three. But I'm also not going to stop someone else from stopping the pin.
Ron: Fair is fair, I'm doing the same.
Curtis: But the plan is to destroy every mother ****** in that ring first and foremost. We are out there to prove that those punk ass ****es Burns and Angel got a fluke win. We are not done with them! Those tag titles will be around our waists sooner than later, and this match will prove it. When we win the Xtreme title, that just gives us another bargaining chip. When team NCW ****s up the Revolution idiots and then Leo names Dirty Deal the new CEOs, that just another bargaining chip.
Ron: Well actually, then we can just make the match ourselves.
Curtis: Oh right...so yeah! That! But this Sunday, this is the step in the right direction. We got knocked back a bit by the current officially lame tag team champs, but this match is going to leap us back to the top! And there is not a damn thing any of you sons of whores can do about it!
Ron: Wow, I've never seen you as an angry drunk! Well, not unless it was in mid bar fight.
*Ron sips his beer.*
Curtis: Hell yeah, we gotta be in the game! I feel the hate rushing through me!
*Curtis and Ron toast there beers as the scene fades out.*
Curtis: Took you long enough.
Ron: Just walking Amber. She took too long sniffing around a tree.
Amber: I was trying to get away.
Ron: She eventually did her business. Russell picked it up because it's apparently the law.
Russell: Well, it is with dogs. I assume its the same deal.
Ron: And I'm pretty sure he liked it.
Amber: You guys are so gross.
Ron: What the hell were you doing!?
Curtis: Just training.
*Curtis takes another swig.*
Curtis: You know, I just don't get it. I don't get why we're seen as repeat offenders? We're fresh! We're kick ass! We go at things old school style of fight first, ask questions later. Who the **** are these *****s to tell us we're untalented and boring? I happen to think you sir are quite the bad ass and very grounded, and make a lot of sense.
Ron: So now, which beer are you on?
Curtis: Twelth? Maybe...
Ron: You son of a *****! You couldn't wait for me!
*Ron runs to the kitchen, jerking Amber and causing her to run behind him in order not to fall.*
Curtis: But you know what's worse? Incessant rambling like that Jake Hamburger guy! He went on about me for fifteen minutes, and I think the only thing he got right was the drinking. Where the **** is my talking dog!? I wish I had a talking dog! And I don't keep a ***** journal! What the **** is up with that!
Russell: You are just racking up the fines.
Ron: SHUT UP!
Curtis: You know what, I can do the same thing!
*Curtis looks at the camera.*
Curtis: Hey Jake! You know what I'm sick and tired of!? I'm sick and tired of you prancing around in your dress, singing Mary Poppins songs all day and then kicking baby seals in the face! What the hell is your problem man! That doesn't win you matches! Maybe I'll bring a baby seal down to the ring and beat the **** out of you with it to show you the other side of the fence!
Ron: ****ing baby seal killing jack ***.
Curtis: Right!?
Russell: You guys need to quit the cursing or you're going to be out of money.
Curtis: Shut up Russell, I got **** you money all right! That means I got enough money to say "**** YOU!"
Russell: That...was...just mean...
*Russell runs off crying.*
Curtis: Back to Jake, Jake, you suck. You had the drop on us, and you still lost, plain and simple. But I'm not going to douche it up like some people and say, "don't bother showing up, shut up now, k thnx by!" Talk all you want, make up whatever you want, I don't care. Show up, because I'm going to level you. I'm going to hammer your *** through the **** ring if you try and step up to me!
Amber: I don't see that happening.
Curtis: Woman! Seriously...okay? You still trippin' on Jason? Jason doesn't love you! Jason is a womanizing son of a ****! If this Sunday's match was a "who can bang the most chicks and get gonorrhea first" he'd have the Xtreme title two weeks ago! But nah, he's a bitch. He's going to get schooled. Give me a weapon, I'm gonna kill a *****. Give Ron a weapon, whoever is in front of him is dead! Put us both in there, nobodies going to have an open casket funeral! Especially a pretty boy like Jason. Let Jason worry about Jade, let him get all roided up, let him come at us with his man boobs and his hat and his glasses and his charm, and we will tear it all down. We will rip it all away, just like we've done every time we've fought him before! Nothing changes with Jason. Maybe that's why we repeat? Doesn't matter.
Amber: Maybe...maybe Jason isn't all that...
Ron: Finally! A break through! You'll get a doggy bone!
*Ron pulls out a dog bone from under the sofa and tries to force it in Amber's mouth, but she tries to push him away.*
Russell: Have you...stopped being mean yet...
*Russell pokes his head in.*
Curtis: Why don't you leave and NEVER come back!
Russell: YOU DON'T MEAN THAT!
*Russell runs off crying again.*
Curtis: Now Joe, Joe what is there to say about Joe? Will Joe be there!? Oh ****, I made a no show joke! Look at me and how awesome I am! BA HA HA H--SHUT UP! Joe, I know you're going to show up, because frankly, you'd be an idiot not too! You've taken our beatings before, you're going to take them again. But you want that brass ring don't you boy? So you're going to show up. And it's going to be my great pleasure to make sure YOU don't reach it! If there's anything better then winning, its winning and watching your opponents heart break and shatter into millions of tiny pieces. That's what's going to happen to you Joe! You want to be the best, like no one ever was? Well I want to bash your head in with a chair! And I will this Sunday, just you wait and see!
Ron: I want to bash him good too.
Curtis: Oh you will Ron, you will.
Ron: Excellent.
Curtis: And then the Champ. Mr. Bates. How can you believe in yourself when your wife, your woman, your soul mate, doesn't? What the hell is that? My woman believes in me one thousand percent! I could call her right now and she'll tell you the same thing. So if you keep your mind on your hooker and your little brats, you're not walking out champion. You've got a big match ahead, you're the guy with the target, and yeah, we're going to beat the ever loving **** out of you, no bones about it man! But if everyone fights over you, that gives you an advantage. **** that! Dirty Deal is going to maim you for certain, but we're going to maim everyone equally. That's how we roll! And I guarantee you, YOU will get seriously injured Bates! So if you want to keep your promises, if you want to be able to go home and make love to your tramp, then maybe the best thing for you to do is walk away or play dead or whatever and leave the fighting to the big boys who can keep there *****es in line! You beat some guy named Harold? Like I give a ****! I ain't Harold, you haven't beaten me buddy!
Ron: I ain't Harold either.
Curtis: But on the other hand, please don't lie down. Please don't leave the ring mid-match. Please let us hurt you and destroy your life Bates. Because then we'll have another feather in our cap.
Ron: Another one to bite the dust.
Curtis: We're going to break each and every adversary in that match, and when it boils down to Ron and I, then the real show begins. Then the NCW audience will finally get to see some REAL talent fighting. Ron and I are true competitors, true gladiators! We hit each other with various weapons throughout the day just to keep our game up! You think we're going to get divided by being in one match where we're pitted sort of against each other? No! If Ron gets a good pin, I don't mind standing back and watching if he gets the three. But I'm also not going to stop someone else from stopping the pin.
Ron: Fair is fair, I'm doing the same.
Curtis: But the plan is to destroy every mother ****** in that ring first and foremost. We are out there to prove that those punk ass ****es Burns and Angel got a fluke win. We are not done with them! Those tag titles will be around our waists sooner than later, and this match will prove it. When we win the Xtreme title, that just gives us another bargaining chip. When team NCW ****s up the Revolution idiots and then Leo names Dirty Deal the new CEOs, that just another bargaining chip.
Ron: Well actually, then we can just make the match ourselves.
Curtis: Oh right...so yeah! That! But this Sunday, this is the step in the right direction. We got knocked back a bit by the current officially lame tag team champs, but this match is going to leap us back to the top! And there is not a damn thing any of you sons of whores can do about it!
Ron: Wow, I've never seen you as an angry drunk! Well, not unless it was in mid bar fight.
*Ron sips his beer.*
Curtis: Hell yeah, we gotta be in the game! I feel the hate rushing through me!
*Curtis and Ron toast there beers as the scene fades out.*