Post by Mike Honcho on Apr 25, 2009 19:15:08 GMT -6
The on the streets outside of Gary, Indiana, we find the Honcho-Man walking calmly down the sidewalk in the pale moonlight. Honcho comments to himself about how friendly everybody in Gary is to him. This lady offered to "love you long time" for only 20 bucks, a guy asked him if he wanted to give him some dust that Angel had made, and a five year old boy offered him ''skunk''... what ever that is. Honcho is wearing his fine, expensive suit that seems bulkier then it has before, but has not hampered his stride.
Suddenly, a large group of people come strolling around a corner and cut him off. It is a very diversified group of young men and women that stop Honcho, as he has no room to walk around them without stepping into the street. He sees a crack-head looking guy stays off to the side next to a chain-linked fence. He has old, glass Coke-a-Cola bottles on his fingers and begins to clank them together.
Check-Head Looking Guy: Honchooooo! Come out and plaaayaaa!
Honcho: Can I help you?
An older man emerges from the group of people, clearly establishing himself as the leader. Mike is perplexed by the man because he looks like Jim Brown, the Hall of Fame football player.
Jim Brown: In case you don't know who I am, I'm Jim brown. Maybe you've heard of me?
The star-struck Magic Man stands in utter shock has Jim continues.
Brown: You see here, we know who you are and what you do, Magic Man. And we don't like you coming on our turf.
Looking around and judging his potential enemies, he crunches up his face and makes a hissing noise. The weaker ones of the gang yell "LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" as they run off with a trail of urine behind them.
Brown: You think something like that is going to scare me? You must be as stupid as you look and act if you think you scare me. We don't want to have to hurt you, Mike, but there is a toll. A toll is a toll; and a roll is a roll; if you don't pay no toll, then we don't eat no rolls.
Mike: Did you make that up?
Brown: No, I wish I had but somebody thought of it first.
Honcho-Man: It's cleaver, I'll give you that.
Brown: Yeah, I thought it was pretty catchy and we all like rolls around here... WAIT A MINUTE, DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT! Pay up Honcho-Man or we will beat you to a bloody pulp worse then Rob Diamond could ever dream of!
Spreads his arms out in a spread-eagle
MH: You're a daisy if you do...
The young men next to Jim Brown begin to run forward but Jim lets a roar and holds them back.
Brown: HE'S MINE!
The very imposing and muscular former gridiron great takes off his jacket. For being an old man, he is still built like a brick house and looks meaner then ever. But Honcho stays standing with his arms out stretched and a goofy look on his face, mocking Brown and his gang of hoods.
As Jim walks up to him, Mike is still unwavering in his stance of mockery. When Brown get close enough, he takes a swing and lands a punch right into the Magic Man's chest. It knocks Honcho back a few steps, but the impact of the punch sounded... unusual. Jim Brown grabs his right arm in bent over pain and looks down at his already swelling hand.
Pealing off his jacket and shirt in slight pain, Honcho reviles that he had a thick lead plate hanging from a chain around his neck. He then pulls out what appears to be a 9mm hand gun and points at Brown.
Mike: I don't think I'll be paying any toll on these streets, homes.
Brown: Where's the honor in this? Where's the honor?
Honcho: You were trying to rob me. So, you tell me where the honor is at.
Brown: You just don't get, Mike. I'm teaching these kids to fight with fists... not guns. Too many people are dying in the streets because they are too scared to get in a fist fight. You are teaching these kids the coward’s way. FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!
Magic Man: Who ever said I had a gun?
That's were Mike made mistake number one. He begins to pull the trigger, squirting water into the face of Brown. Now that everybody knew that the gun was a fake, Mike had few options left. The next mistake he made was he started to run. Thinking that Brown was out shape and old, he thinks it is a foot race that he could easily win. But little did he know that Jim Brown is still faster then 90% of 18 year olds. Quickly, Brown chases down Mike and the two engage in an epic brawl.
The two men beat the hell out of each other for several minutes with neither one gaining the upper hand. It isn't until a blue Mini-cooper comes out of nowhere and hits the Magic Man. Mike somehow gets his clothes caught on the car and begins to be dragged down the road with sparks flying everywhere from where he still has a lead plate strapped to his back.
The car drags him for several miles, running red lights and stop signs. Mike his highly disorientated from the brutal hits from Jim Brown and the impact of the car hitting him. The horrifying car ride was finally ended when the jacket finally rips and sends Mike sailing into a line up of trashcans that ironically were set up like bowling pins. The Magic Man hits the front trash can with a thud and knocks the rest of them down in spectacular fashion. Homeless Harold jumps out from the bushes and yells "Strike!!!" and disappears as quickly as he appeared.
A staggered Honcho stands up, clothes ripped and filthy, and starts to walk to corner liquor store.
He steps inside the bar-windowed corner store and walks to the sparkling wine section. He grabs a bottle of Santana DVX and starts to walk to the exit. He just grabs a hundred dollar bill and throws it on the counter and walks out as the Asian store clerks stands in disgust. As he staggers down the road, Honcho starts to think of the big weekend ahead of him.
Honcho-Man: Rob, you see this bottle of DVX? This is my joint. I love me some DVX. But I'm not drinking it until after I destroy you. You like to talk don't you Robbie boy? I like to party and talk time is over, homes. You might have been able to fool Charlene, but you can't fool me. There's something I've never told Rob. Something that makes us more then just Uncle and Nephew. You see, there is one bond that can't be broken by anything. We are wiener cousins.
When two men sleep with the same woman, they become wiener cousins forever. Two weeks ago, I bumped uglies with Sara Walker. How do you think she got the number to the home phone? I tell you, she is one piece of ace!
(Pops out of nowhere) Ace: What?
Honcho: Sorry Ace, I'm talking about a girl again saying that she's a piece of ace. I'm not addressing you at the moment. I'll try and use a different word to describe woman from now on.
Ace: That's like the third time this week. You do need a new word. I'll see you later. (Disappears)
Magic Man: Rob Diamond, my wiener cousin... This is the moment that we end this, this hate. We end the feud and we go about our lives. Do you remember our trip to the zoo? I want to go back to that. I want it to be like when we were CSI trying to figure out who killed Scooby. I want my Uncle Rob back. But until you stop being a douche bag and start being who you really are, you will never be anything like my other wiener cousins Xavier and Jack Hammond. You know what they are, homes? Winners...CHAMPIONS! This Rob that you have become will never do it. But the Rob that was at the zoo, he can. The Rob that I'm going to bury is a shell of my former number two best friend. You might have dad on your side, BUT I'VE GOT STUPID AND CRAZY ON MY SIDE AND THEY WILL DISTROY YOU! Abracadabra homes...
The scene fades to black
Suddenly, a large group of people come strolling around a corner and cut him off. It is a very diversified group of young men and women that stop Honcho, as he has no room to walk around them without stepping into the street. He sees a crack-head looking guy stays off to the side next to a chain-linked fence. He has old, glass Coke-a-Cola bottles on his fingers and begins to clank them together.
Check-Head Looking Guy: Honchooooo! Come out and plaaayaaa!
Honcho: Can I help you?
An older man emerges from the group of people, clearly establishing himself as the leader. Mike is perplexed by the man because he looks like Jim Brown, the Hall of Fame football player.
Jim Brown: In case you don't know who I am, I'm Jim brown. Maybe you've heard of me?
The star-struck Magic Man stands in utter shock has Jim continues.
Brown: You see here, we know who you are and what you do, Magic Man. And we don't like you coming on our turf.
Looking around and judging his potential enemies, he crunches up his face and makes a hissing noise. The weaker ones of the gang yell "LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" as they run off with a trail of urine behind them.
Brown: You think something like that is going to scare me? You must be as stupid as you look and act if you think you scare me. We don't want to have to hurt you, Mike, but there is a toll. A toll is a toll; and a roll is a roll; if you don't pay no toll, then we don't eat no rolls.
Mike: Did you make that up?
Brown: No, I wish I had but somebody thought of it first.
Honcho-Man: It's cleaver, I'll give you that.
Brown: Yeah, I thought it was pretty catchy and we all like rolls around here... WAIT A MINUTE, DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT! Pay up Honcho-Man or we will beat you to a bloody pulp worse then Rob Diamond could ever dream of!
Spreads his arms out in a spread-eagle
MH: You're a daisy if you do...
The young men next to Jim Brown begin to run forward but Jim lets a roar and holds them back.
Brown: HE'S MINE!
The very imposing and muscular former gridiron great takes off his jacket. For being an old man, he is still built like a brick house and looks meaner then ever. But Honcho stays standing with his arms out stretched and a goofy look on his face, mocking Brown and his gang of hoods.
As Jim walks up to him, Mike is still unwavering in his stance of mockery. When Brown get close enough, he takes a swing and lands a punch right into the Magic Man's chest. It knocks Honcho back a few steps, but the impact of the punch sounded... unusual. Jim Brown grabs his right arm in bent over pain and looks down at his already swelling hand.
Pealing off his jacket and shirt in slight pain, Honcho reviles that he had a thick lead plate hanging from a chain around his neck. He then pulls out what appears to be a 9mm hand gun and points at Brown.
Mike: I don't think I'll be paying any toll on these streets, homes.
Brown: Where's the honor in this? Where's the honor?
Honcho: You were trying to rob me. So, you tell me where the honor is at.
Brown: You just don't get, Mike. I'm teaching these kids to fight with fists... not guns. Too many people are dying in the streets because they are too scared to get in a fist fight. You are teaching these kids the coward’s way. FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!
Magic Man: Who ever said I had a gun?
That's were Mike made mistake number one. He begins to pull the trigger, squirting water into the face of Brown. Now that everybody knew that the gun was a fake, Mike had few options left. The next mistake he made was he started to run. Thinking that Brown was out shape and old, he thinks it is a foot race that he could easily win. But little did he know that Jim Brown is still faster then 90% of 18 year olds. Quickly, Brown chases down Mike and the two engage in an epic brawl.
The two men beat the hell out of each other for several minutes with neither one gaining the upper hand. It isn't until a blue Mini-cooper comes out of nowhere and hits the Magic Man. Mike somehow gets his clothes caught on the car and begins to be dragged down the road with sparks flying everywhere from where he still has a lead plate strapped to his back.
The car drags him for several miles, running red lights and stop signs. Mike his highly disorientated from the brutal hits from Jim Brown and the impact of the car hitting him. The horrifying car ride was finally ended when the jacket finally rips and sends Mike sailing into a line up of trashcans that ironically were set up like bowling pins. The Magic Man hits the front trash can with a thud and knocks the rest of them down in spectacular fashion. Homeless Harold jumps out from the bushes and yells "Strike!!!" and disappears as quickly as he appeared.
A staggered Honcho stands up, clothes ripped and filthy, and starts to walk to corner liquor store.
He steps inside the bar-windowed corner store and walks to the sparkling wine section. He grabs a bottle of Santana DVX and starts to walk to the exit. He just grabs a hundred dollar bill and throws it on the counter and walks out as the Asian store clerks stands in disgust. As he staggers down the road, Honcho starts to think of the big weekend ahead of him.
Honcho-Man: Rob, you see this bottle of DVX? This is my joint. I love me some DVX. But I'm not drinking it until after I destroy you. You like to talk don't you Robbie boy? I like to party and talk time is over, homes. You might have been able to fool Charlene, but you can't fool me. There's something I've never told Rob. Something that makes us more then just Uncle and Nephew. You see, there is one bond that can't be broken by anything. We are wiener cousins.
When two men sleep with the same woman, they become wiener cousins forever. Two weeks ago, I bumped uglies with Sara Walker. How do you think she got the number to the home phone? I tell you, she is one piece of ace!
(Pops out of nowhere) Ace: What?
Honcho: Sorry Ace, I'm talking about a girl again saying that she's a piece of ace. I'm not addressing you at the moment. I'll try and use a different word to describe woman from now on.
Ace: That's like the third time this week. You do need a new word. I'll see you later. (Disappears)
Magic Man: Rob Diamond, my wiener cousin... This is the moment that we end this, this hate. We end the feud and we go about our lives. Do you remember our trip to the zoo? I want to go back to that. I want it to be like when we were CSI trying to figure out who killed Scooby. I want my Uncle Rob back. But until you stop being a douche bag and start being who you really are, you will never be anything like my other wiener cousins Xavier and Jack Hammond. You know what they are, homes? Winners...CHAMPIONS! This Rob that you have become will never do it. But the Rob that was at the zoo, he can. The Rob that I'm going to bury is a shell of my former number two best friend. You might have dad on your side, BUT I'VE GOT STUPID AND CRAZY ON MY SIDE AND THEY WILL DISTROY YOU! Abracadabra homes...
The scene fades to black