Post by adm on Apr 25, 2009 20:54:37 GMT -6
Part 3 – Valley of the Shadow of Death
Saturday evening and I have to go to church. Not to confess my sins, for I am not Catholic…but like every good Christian, I pray for help in my coming trials and tribulations. I pray for help, guidance…and perhaps forgiveness for what I may just do in that ring tomorrow night. I am knelt at the altar of my God, in this unfamiliar church with an unfamiliar pastor. But I care not for him, or his robes and garb. I am here on my own for a specific reason. And I do not care if I whisper my prayer to myself.
“God, may I have guidance and assistance through the trials and tribulations about to overtake me. Tomorrow is the beginning, but that is not nearly it all. My wife, she doubts, me, Lord. My wife doubts and does not believe in my dreams when I attempted very hard to help her follow hers. Her dreams did not happen, so now she is a housewife, and she fears me, Lord. She fears her husband because of what I was not too long ago, and also fears my occupation may take her from her. She’s seen the news articles about steroid abuse, she’s watched some of these matches, and she knows what could happen. Tomorrow night I could die in the ring, but I am not afraid of that, I know I will not die. I am afraid I am losing her, God. I am afraid my wife may leave me. Please give me guidance and clarity in the coming weeks and months pertaining to my wife. I thank you, God; for all that you have given me.”
God has given me much, a lovely family, great home, a nice job and a reliable car. I’ve been blessed. I also was blessed when I beat Homeless Harold three separate times and he is now my guardian angel. But yet…I am cursed as much as blessed. And it is this title that is my curse…a curse of pain to myself and others.
“God, may I have protection in my battle tomorrow at A Night to Remember. May I be blessed with the abilities to use my weapons to cast down my enemies and survive the battles with as minimal of injuries as possible so I can continue to serve you. I pray to be forgiven for the sins and atrocities I may commit when I am put in that ring with five other men and no rules. I pray for them and their protection from the things I may do to them. I pray…for everyone watching that they are not scarred by the things they may see. I pray for Joe Everyman, that he doesn’t choke and become a choke artist. I pray for Dirty Deal’s Ron Gibson that he stops hating the blacks and grows up just enough to get more than a fourth-grade education. I pray that Curtis Kanyon stops being such a testosterone and alcohol-fueled retard. I pray that Sexy Jason finds out which of Amber or Jade he loves, and marries her before his egoism and narcissism get in the way. I pray he accepts the match for what it is and whether he wins or loses, does not take it personally. I pray that no matter the outcome, this match is the best of our careers. And I pray finally for JackHammer. That he learns to stop being a dumbass and realize that he has some great competition in this match.”
And then I do it…the one thing I end every long prayer with…the prayer everyone knows and uses. I stand, looking up at the large crucifix with a fiberglass and painted Christ on it as if I were talking to Jesus himself.
“Our father, who art in Heaven. Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory. Forever and Ever. Amen.”
Half an hour later I am sitting in my hotel room, looking at the supplies I bought from Staples earlier today. I bought some mainstays in my “arsenal” once more. But I also made it to the hardware store before they closed to “beef up the old security system” as it may be said. I picked up a paperweight, stapler, staples, push-pins, manila envelopes, and some burnable CD’s for the match. I also picked up some sea salt to spread on the open wounds of my opponents and make the paper cuts and every other wound more serious than ever. I also picked up lighter fluid, gasoline, and barbed wire. Yes…barbed wire. And now…I am wrapping the newly-bought briefcase from earlier this week up to replace the damaged one I was using before.
“Yes, you catch me preparing for this match, oh good lord no. See, unlike the other people in this match, I buy my own weapons for this match and put them under the ring, some of them, before the match starts. I do it so that they are ready for me, or anyone else, to use. See, I’m what you like to call a PERFECTIONIST. I bring my own supplies because I fear the people who supply nCw are too TRADITIONAL in their Xtreme weapon inventory. Signs? Trash Cans? Steel Chairs? At least Barbed Wire can be used on ANYTHING to make it more dangerous, even a human appendage as one Mark Evil has shown us with his own psychotic intents. You see, I am a hands-on kind of guy. When I worked tech-support I got upset when my “promotion” took me from the front-lines to a desk job where I wound up, at most, working on the computers within our own company when they malfunctioned. And I will NOT allow you to bash my creative approach to being the Xtreme Champion. God forbid there be invention in a style of wrestling that isn’t really wrestling.”
I laugh to myself as I continue to wrap barbed-wire. All the while, I think about the fact that this match is no laughing matter. No…as I’ve said all week I am walking into the pits of Hell and we may not return. Many of us will go only to become battered pieces of rent and damaged flesh. We are going to go into the fires, walking down into the shadow of the valley of Death. And that is what this match is…Death…
“I understand why Dirty Deal would think they have an upper hand, I mean; they are a solid tag team, right? No worries about trust there, no. But the fact that they are opposed to my using multi-syllabic words just confuses them beyond measure when I tell them they are about as intelligent as a retarded dog with Down syndrome. But hilarious puns aside, I still know they will bring their all to this match and probably tear my body asunder if I don’t watch my back. Them and Joe Everyman as well. He says he is going to take us into his Nightmare…that he used Metallica to illustrate how his continuing psychosis and mental breakdown has brought his mind to a place where paranoia meets homicidal rage and he’s ready to drag us all into the depths. I understand, I was there when Harold said he slept with my wife and I nearly killed both of us in the two matches we had together under Xtreme Rules. But I know that we are all walking into this valley, and some of us may not return. We will all walk in with all our appendages and internal organs intact but when we walk out…IF we walk out…who knows.”
And then I realized that this is my Psalm leading into Hell. This is my song to God. My sorrowful and fearful song to a God that may not be able to protect me from the darkness that lies ahead. And then I thought…of the words I said. Yes, I am walking into the valley of the shadow of DEATH. I am walking into a trap at A Night to Remember and I could lose more than a title, I could lose my life. I could lose limbs, my ability to walk, and may be crippled the rest of my life by these five other men. I could cripple them as well. Now I understand the fear my wife had. Not because I was in nCw, or because I was Xtreme Champion. But because…this match is five men, all of whom are bigger and stronger than I am. All of them are dangerous. And now…I know.
“The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul.”
I finish wrapping the briefcase that is wrapped in barbed wire. I look around at every weapon that is here that I bought myself. I will bring this arsenal with me, and not all will be used by me, I know this. But I do not care if they use it against me I have won. I won in the reformation of Xtreme wrestling into something PERFECTED. I help make them XTREMELY NORMAL as well as myself. And I set the briefcase on my lap, my eyes growing cold as I continue.
“He leadeth me in the paths of RIGHTEOUSNESS for his name’s sake.”
I look down at my hands, and I have cut them on the barbed wire. I watch as the blood falls onto the briefcase, thinking about the prior matches I’ve had for my Xtreme title and how in just 24 hours I could lose this title and my life. I look beside me and I see the title. I begin to loosen my tie and unbutton my shirt as the blood drips down my hands.
“Yea though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I will fear no EVIL. For thou art with me.”
I take off my suit coat and my tie, holding the Xtreme title on my shoulder with one hand, and holding up the barbed-wire briefcase in the other.
“Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. You preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. You annointest my head with oil. And my cup runneth over.”
Yes, my cup will runneth over with their blood, and my blood. Tomorrow will be bloodshed. It will be the Valley of Death. The winner will bathe in our blood and emerge the Xtreme champion. Retaining or new, neither matters. The thing that matters is that the fans will get the most bloody and brutal match they have EVER SEEN.
“Surely goodness and mercy shall fallow me all the days of my life.”
Goodness? Mercy? Not tomorrow. No mercy will be had tomorrow for none shall show me mercy. Tomorrow is WAR and HELL and I will bring HELL with ME!
“And I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever. AMEN!”
Amen indeed…Tomorrow Blood. Tomorrow HELL. Tomorrow…Yeah though we walk into the shadow of the valley of DEATH. I do not fear you, or the match. But be prepared…for my cup runneth over…with YOUR BLOOD. I have God’s Rod. I have God’s Staff. And they comfort me…sleep well tonight, Joe, Jason, Ron, Curtis and JackHammer. Sleep well for tomorrow we will all be in so much pain only morphine or anesthetic will let us sleep. For this is MY psalm. This is the Psalm of Kristoff. And tomorrow…A Night to Remember…we will be remembered…for ALL TIME…for our brutality. For our bloodshed…and for the victory of ONE over five. You want a nightmare, Joe…walk into the SHADOW OF DEATH and you will be in that nightmare. Tomorrow…we fight…we bleed…we SURVIVE!