Post by Keybo Shabaz on Mar 4, 2009 17:54:40 GMT -6
(Everybody wants you by Damone plays in the background, signaling the start of nCws favorite TV show, the Pulse! A highlight clip of nCws finest is shown for an opening montage. Fade in a soundstage, with a large desk and a neon "The Pulse" sign behind it. A man sits at the desk, black suit, grey tie, he shuffles the papers in front of him as the music fades and the camera shifts into position.)
Keybo: Welcome to the hottest show in New Championship Wrestling! That's right, forget the Fox Line, forget Over the Top, forget O-TV, this is where the legends get their primo four one one my friends. This is..
The Pulse!
Yes, yes it is week three and I am still here! You can hope, you can pray, you can send formal complaints to the front office, but I will be here telling you the what's what in New Championship Wrestling. Week two of the Crossroads fallout is on the horizon, and Soverign is fast approaching. The Revolution/Resistance war is heating up to solar proportions. So, what you've all been waiting for.. The Rundown!
(Keybo spins in the chair, stopping when he's facing the left side of the desk, looking into camera #2.)
Keybo: Chris Diamond gave Trauma another healthy shot of awesome this week by once again pitting six wrestlers against each other in an excitement filled slug fest. Steve Awesome made his triumphant return to the ring after only a one week absence. And the World Champion gave a dose of british wit to Saturday nights.
Frostbyte vs Steve Awesome
Keybo: Now, I like Frosty.. a little. I even had him in studio last week. But who believed he could take Awesome? That's right, nobody. Sorry kid, but you just didn't have it in you..
Steve Awesome 1-0
Rob Diamond vs Ron Gibson vs Shaddix vs Christopher Owens vs Scotty Calloway vs Mark Evil.
Six Man Over the Top Rope Battle Royal
Keybo: I looked around at this match and I saw a lot of things. Diet Chris Diamond, a former truck driver, some guy who apparently has warrants, two inexperienced guys and Mark Evil. All in all a great Saturday night. I picked Gibson because it looked obvious, but that little exiled super villain proved me wrong. Kudos Robbie..
Ron Gibson 1-1
Philip Burns vs Joe Everyman
Keybo: Seems like this should have been straight forward. Burns and Everyman, two mat classic wrestlers, leaving it all in the ring, like it should be. But blood ran hot and Angel and Scotty Calloway could not stay away, and in the end the ref called for the bell. Nothing was settled, and with Soverign looming closer, things will get worse before they get better.
Philip Burns 1-1 (No Contest all around.)
Jack Hammond vs The Ace
Keybo: The Ace certainly made a statement on Trauma. He showed that maybe if Xavier Williams had not been at Crossroads, he might have a couple pounds of gold to lug around. But, failure is made of should haves, and Jack Hammond should have won this match. But, he didn't.. sorry mate.
The Ace 2-1
Keybo: After the excellence that was Trauma, how could NCW top it? Well, they did. It's Collision time!
Nelly oh Nelly, where for art thou Nelly? Seriously, who are you and what have you done with Nelly Angel? Nelly Angel declared judgement day on NCW. I never thought I'd see it. Of course, I never thought I'd see Steve Awesome working the merch booth, but he complied with his contractual obligations, and he did it with a smile. And Damien Sparks took another step against Sexy Jason, using his power to threaten the job of an NCW original.
Mike Honcho vs James Preston
Keybo: The doubts were there, and the doubts were answered. Mr. James Preston does know how to wrestle, then again, so does Davey Ortega. It was an impressive debut no doubt, but in the end you can never count out the magic man. Nice job Honch. And no, you can't bribe to get on my show by offering me a spot on yours. Nice try.
Mike Honcho 3-1
Motor City Mafia vs Overdrive
Keybo: Just when you think you know things. I was so sure Rotten and Matthews would try to cheat to win this, but they kept it clean. Then again, I never thought Rotten would cheat to be evil but.. oh well. Overdrive showed they are a tag team force, but then again, anyone not under a rock already knew that.
Overdrive 4-1
Sexy Jason vs Curtis Kanyon
Keybo: Jason walked into this match with blood in his eyes, looking to take out a lil bit on Curtis Kanyon. Unfortunately, he overlooked the fact that Gibson would be at ringside and Damien would lurk out from under his rock. Mark Evil tried to help, and now he's snared in the trap as well. Nice job Damien... douchebag.
Sexy Jason 4-2
Angel vs Kristoff Liam Bates
Pick Your Poison Match
Keybo: Show of hands, who was waiting for this match? Everyone? Alright. The nearly immortal Angel against the near Invincible Bates. I'll give Angel credit, he's staying true to the Revolutions real purpose, even when Nelly isn't. Adam and Harold tried to help, and were turned away. And in the end, Angel did it himself. Now we wait to hear from Mr. Preston as to what poison he wants.
Angel 5-2
Jimmy Zane vs Homeless Harold
Special Guest Referee: Adam Knite
Keybo: I'll give Jimmy credit, he tried. He tried real hard. He blocked Adam in his locker room, keeping the match fair. And he wrestled valiantly. But Homeless Harold is still Homeless Harold no matter who the referee is. And now we wait to see what the damages are to Zanes skull. Way to almost kill the competition Harold.
Homeless Harold 6-2
Adam Knite vs JFK vs Xavier Williams
Keybo: The MAN is back! Leonard Fox makes his return to New Championship Wrestling to stop his daughters silly shenanigans. First order of business, getting a real wrestling official in. Welcome back Mitch. When the dust cleared, the Resistance took this one home. Nice job, James.
Xavier Williams 6-3
Keybo: Round two ends just a hairsbreath away from the first. But, you win some, you lose some right? That being said, I hope you didn't miss Collision, because this was one for the archives. The tides are returning to favor the company, and things are looking up. But you know what I look forward to? Yes, yes, yes kiddies.. the future!
(Keybo spins the chair again, stopping facing the other way. He reaches down and puts on weird turban, looking like the thing Johnny Carson used to do. The camera switching to #3.)
Keybo: March seventh, March seventh, down toward the tides in March seventh.
Joe Everyman vs Steve Awesome
Keybo: I support Joe Everyman. Really, I do. But come on.. it's still Steve Awesome. Sometimes you need to go with what you think is the sure thing.
Steve Awesome
Shaddix vs Mr. Preston
Keybo: Not to sound contrite, but shouldn't someone call the police on Shaddix? I really don't want a potential murderer on my roster. But then again, I support Mark Evil. Oh, the dilemma..
Preston
Sexy Jason and Mark Evil vs Dirty Deal
If Mark Evil is pinned, he is fired.
Keybo: Damien is apparently unsatisfied with ruining one mans life, he has to take out his anger on anyone who tries to help. There's a word for guys like that. I'll give you a hint, it starts with douche, and ends with bag. Come on guys, you have something to fight for, fight for it!
Sexy Jason and Mark Evil
Keybo: Here's to hoping Trauma doesn't end saying goodbye to one of NCW's own. But, whether we do or not, we have to prepare for Collision.
Kevin Kruger vs CK Owens
Keybo: All we've seen of Owens is a decent performance in a battle royal, all we've seen from Kruger is his ego landing at the airport three hours before he did. Well, let's see what happens.
CK Owens
AJ Phoenix vs Xavier Williams
Keybo: A rematch from ages past. Last time these two fought, it was for the gold, now it's for the pride. I bet on X twice, and he didn't deliver. Maybe if I bet against him?
AJ Phoenix
Overdrive vs Age of the Revolution vs Motor City Mafia vs Two Below Zero
Keybo: Four of NCWs best tag teams slug it out to see who's going to emerge from the smoke and blood with their hands raised. The Mafia behave like brothers, Angel and Burns bleed like brothers, JFK and MGK actually are brothers. Who's bond is stronger?
The Age of the Revolution
Jack Hammond vs Mike Honcho
Cardboard World Heavyweight Championship of the World Match
Keybo: The actual World Champion vs a former.. ok I can't say that on television because it "didn't" happen. Anyway, the Hamster and the Magic Man fighting it out to find out who has the funnier gimmick. Oh and the winner gets a piece of cardboard with some marker on it.
Jack Hammond
Adam Knite, Falcon and Homeless Harold vs Kristoff Liam Bates, Jimmy Zane and The Ace.
Keybo: Let's face it. Five of these men have no love for one another. Adam's going to be mad at Zane for last week. Falcon and The Ace have never gotten along. Harold and Zane aren't the best of friends. And Bates is just in it for the fun of it. Bates, Zane and Ace are all great wrestlers, but they're walking into the fire trap without a roadmap.
Adam Knite, Falcon and Homeless Harold.
(He spins around again, back to the center, and camera #1, losing the turban in the process.)
And now I'm joined in studio by New Championship Wrestlings only "normal" wrestler. The Xtreme Champion, Kristoff Liam Bates!
(Perfect Drug by Nine Inch Nails plays as Kristoff comes out, the Xtreme title perched on the left shoulder of his finely pressed suit. He takes a seat, sitting properly, and waiting for the interview.)
Keybo: Welcome to the Pulse, Mr. Bates.
Bates: My pleasure, Mr. Shabaz.
Keybo: You never struck anybody as an Xtreme wrestler when you debuted. What made you take the foray into the land of weaponry?
Bates: I wrestle in whatever match they assign me to. My job is to win each and every match that I am involved in, and that is what I try to do. Ridding the promotion of all the extreme FREAKS is just a bonus.
Keybo: I assume that worries your family. A lot of things can go wrong in that ring when you add things like barbed wire and broken glass.
Bates: They support me in whatever I do. That is what gives me my strength.
Keybo: So, you run a strict household I take it?
Bates: What gives you that idea?
Keybo: Just seems like you're entire family is wary of making you angry.
Bates: Oh I am not an angry person. My family loves me as much as I love them. You can see it in the way we interact.
Keybo: Right. Ready for some fan questions?
Bates: Ask away.
Keybo: T. Riley from New York, New York asks I'm a long time fan of perfectly normal wrestlers like Mike Rotunda and Chris Benoit. My question is, I think my wife and kid are freaks and I'm unsure of how to handle it. What would you do?
Bates: I would lead by example, become PERFECTLY NORMAL like me and eventually they will learn from your good example. Just don't mention Benoit as NORMAL, he was a FREAK.
Keybo: ...right.. F. Miller from Latrobe, Pennsylvania asks Say there Bates, what exactly would you do for a... Klondike.. bar?
Bates: Stab MYSELF with a letter opener...nah...only for Ben and Jerry's would I do that. Probably melting Harold's mask to his face.
Keybo: Not the answer he was expecting I'll bet.. M. Rotch from San Diego, California asks Have you ever had any past loves? And if so, how normal were they?
Bates: My wife has explicitly told me to leave my high school girlfriend in the past...she wasn't very normal...she was a FREAK.
Keybo: I'll bet.. Randy O. from St. Louis, Missouri asks Do you hear voices in your head? Do they counsel you? Do you understand? Do they talk to you?
Bates: Talk to Randy Orton about that one, I don't hear voices. Only FREAKS like him hear voices.
Keybo: Somehow I think he knows that already. R. Williamson from Birmingham, England asks As a jilted ex girlfriend of The Ace, I'd like to know if he pisses you off as much as he does me, I know the bastard has ripped you off a couple of times at least in his promos...how do you stand it? He never could be original, but it was funny to see him get owned by Nelly the other week...wouldn't you agree?
Bates: What Nelly did to Ace was deplorable. Ace is a family man, like myself, and he works hard. He should, like Angel, be or have been World Champion by now but things have happened and I would love to see him succeed. I don't mind if he "ripped me off" as I respect him, and I'm sure his mimicking me is just to emulate a more normal man like myself. Calling him unoriginal is like calling yourself a saint...it isn't real.
Keybo: Same could be said for calling yourself normal. Moving on.. R Monroe from England asks Mr. Bates, who was your inspiration to become a wrestler?
Bates: I've said it once, I'll say it again. Mike Rotunda AKA Irwin R. Schyster. He is my idol and one of the reasons I'm here before you now.
Keybo: Who didn't see that coming.. anyway, H. Jablowme from Brooklyn, New York asks Two Questions for Bates. What is your favorite flavor of bat **** crazy and also who would win an 80's porn star match between Sexy Jason, Mike Honcho, and Craven Moorehead?
Bates: For one I only eat Bat **** Normal. And I think Sexy Jason would win, just like he's going to win the Four way and move on to be World Champion.
Keybo: And if it wasn't for douchebag Sparks that match might be happening.
Bates: Someday, count on it.
Keybo: Ok, last one was from an anonymous fan. I normally throw these away, but this one I had to ask. How do you like your eggs?
Bates: Fried to the point of perfection, where the yolk is no longer runny. Sunny side up.
Keybo: That's all the time we have this week. I'd like to thank Kristoff Liam Bates for stopping by the studio.
Bates: My pleasure.
Keybo: Well, that's all the time we have this week. For all of us here at New Championship Wrestling, this is Keybo Shabaz, host extraordinaire of the best show on Television, The Pulse! Now, remember..
Steel Chairs are fun...
Barbed Wire is a good time..
And always tip your waitress!
Good night.
(Everybody wants you by Damone plays again as the transmission fades out.)
"Hey, tune in next week when my guest will be the messiah of the masses, that one man crusade himself, Xavier Williams! Questions? Comments? Want to ask him to emcee a block party? Send them in to:
TheShabaz@ncwentertainment.com
Or Call the studio lines at 1-866-555-3737
And I'll see you here next week!
(Reply with a question, or PM me if it's private. Just like the Fox Line you can ask ridiculous questions, just edit them for TV. Thanks for the support last week. Let's do it again this week.)