Post by Keybo Shabaz on Mar 18, 2009 21:44:50 GMT -6
(Everybody wants you by Damone plays in the background, signaling the start of nCws favorite TV show, the Pulse! A highlight clip of nCws finest is shown for an opening montage. Fade in a soundstage, with a large desk and a neon "The Pulse" sign behind it. A man sits at the desk, black suit, grey tie, he shuffles the papers in front of him as the music fades and the camera shifts into position.)
Keybo: Welcome to the hottest show in New Championship Wrestling! That's right, forget the Fox Line, forget Over the Top, forget O-TV, I am the only one who matters when it comes to weekly informative television in New Championship Wrestling!
The Pulse!
Keybo: Another week, more death threats, and yet, here I am. As enlightening and glowing as ever. But, more importantly, it was the final week before a major pay-per-view event. Tell me you watched, lie to me if you have to. Two more dynamic quality shows set the tone for an epic showdown. But that's just the beginning, because it's time for The Rundown!
(Keybo spins in the chair, stopping when he's facing the left side of the desk, looking into camera #2.)
Keybo: Traumas word for this week. Gold. The Xtreme title was defended, and the National Champion brought a bit of top tier flavor to the show. Jimmy Zane lost what was left of his sanity, and managed to set a date with NCWs beast du jour.
Ron Gibson vs Kevin Kruger
Keybo: Dirty Deal might be one of the best tag teams NCW has ever seen, but the seem to do alright by themselves, even if they don't like it. But in the end, not even an appearance by Sexy Jason could stop Gibson from picking up the win. Kudos.
Ron Gibson 1-0
Falcon and Steve Awesome vs Overdrive
Keybo: There comes a time when you have to set aside disbelief and see things happen that you thought never would. Never in a million years did I think Steve Awesome would play along with this match, but not only did he, they won. I'm not sure what happened after Trauma went off the air, but it didn't look like a beatdown to me.
Overdrive 1-1
Kristoff Liam Bates (c) vs Homeless Harold
Xtreme Championship Match
Keybo: The time had come to answer the doubts of all those who questioned whether Bates could defeat Harold on his own. Well, he certainly proved all of you wrong didn't he? Not me though.
Kristoff Liam Bates 2-1
Keybo: After the excellence that was Trauma, what could possibly be next? That's right it's Collision time!
You know, I'm starting to think Jimmy Zane wants someone to finish what Harold started. After attacking a demon the day before, he ammended his match with Adam Knite to Xtreme rules. Falcon failed to show proof of any wrongdoing by Steve Awesome, and thus, Steve was handed a rematch for the National title. The blood ran red between the Resistance and the Revolution, and everything heated to nuclear proportions.
Mike Honcho vs Curtis Kanyon
Keybo: Mike Honcho to me is a mystery. You'll never know how far he can go until he gets stopped. He gave Kanyon a valiant effort, but in the end, it just wasn't enough.
Mike Honcho 2-2
Adam Knite vs Jimmy Zane
Xtreme Rules Match
Keybo: I don't know, maybe Zane thought Xtreme rules would help him a little, but it didn't seem to do very much. Sure, it looked like it helped, but it went from good to worse at the speed of light. When things like that happen, it always looks like a bad decision, but hindsight is 20/20 and Adam is one more healthier in the win column.
Adam Knite 3-2
Nelly Angel vs Shaddix and Xavier Williams
Handicap Match
Keybo: The rules are simple. Nelly wins, he gets a free pass at Soverign. Whoever pins Nelly faces him again next week at the pay-per-view. Nelly gave it a good go, but in the end, the X trained rolled back into town. Hallelujah.
Xavier Williams 4-2
Age of the Revolution vs Echoes of Freedom
Tag Team Championship Match
Keybo: The day Everyman and Calloway have been dreaming about. Well, at least since Crossroads. It was a rough go for a minute, when Burns took an ECD it was all but over, if not for some late match heroics by Angel, it would have been. But two minutes and one Revelations later, The Age retained. Sorry Joe and Scotty, maybe next time.
Age of the Revolution 5-2
Jack Hammond vs AJ Phoenix
Keybo: After winning a fake title, shortlived as it was, last week. Hammond gets a chance to put a demon to rest by facing AJ Phoenix again. He hasn't beaten AJ for quite some time, a fact that was repeated over and over. Would he be the Hammond we know and rule the ring, or would he be the Hammond we expect and drop the ball? Rule on you crazy Diamonds.
AJ Phoenix 5-3
The Ace vs Rob Diamond vs Mark Evil vs Sexy Jason
#1 Contender for the World Title.
Keybo: This was it. All the marbles were in the center of the ring, and it was anybodys game. Until Dirty Deal stuck their hand in and kept Jason from having a chance. Rob and Mark tried real hard, but The Ace would not be denied this time, nailing a FameAcer on Evil and picking up the win, and a dance with the champ at Soverign.
The Ace 6-3
Week: 6-3
2009: 20-14
Keybo: Back on top and above .500 for the week. Am I good or what? Oh, you're so nice. But, that's just the first half the show people. Now, we get a glimmer of the future!
(Keybo spins the chair again, stopping facing the other way. He reaches down and puts on weird turban, looking like the thing Johnny Carson used to do. The camera switching to #3.)
Keybo: All the way to the twenty second. Soverign is on the horizon and it promises to be three hours of fantastic entertainment. Six of NCWs finest slug it out in the Coliseum, Steve and Falcon settled a grudge, Xavier returns to triumph his division, plus plenty more where that came from. Including Wired!
NAZI vs Motor City Mafia
Loser Leaves NCW match
Keybo: Wait. I thought Nazi would always have jobs here. I guess not. Well Rotten, Matthews, time to do some spring cleaning of the roster I guess. God help us.
MCM
Shaddix vs Kevin Kruger
Keybo: Kevin Kruger has been chock full of promise so far in NCW, and Shaddix has done everything he could to just avoid being arrested. But I guess all that running from the police has given him mad ring skills. Or, so they say in the hood.
Kevin Kruger
Echoes of Freedom vs Mike Honcho
Keybo: After putting up a great showing with their tag team title shot last week, Echoes needs to dominate here to prove they deserved that spot. Not to me of course, everyone knows I have a man crush on Joe Everyman. But, sadly, Rob and Mike look overfocused this week.
Rob Diamond and Mike Honcho
Keybo: And that would be the end of Wired. But not to worry, for right around the corner is the deliciousness that would be Soverign!
Kristoff Liam Bates (c) vs Mark Evil
Xtreme Championship Match
Keybo: One week after putting down the beast to retain the Xtreme title, Kristoff is tested again in the form of the King of barbed wire in Mark Evil. He did it once, can he do it again? My magic eight ball says yes.
Kristoff Liam Bates
Dirty Deal vs Sexy Jason and Unknown
Rights to Amber Ashe Match
Keybo: This is what it all came down to. After threatening her job, then his, then Mark Evils, Damien has deigned himself to give Sexy Jason a chance at redemption. He won't lose this one, even if he stops breathing.
Sexy Jason and Unknown.
Nelly Angel (c) vs Xavier Williams
X Division Championship Match.
Keybo: The X one returns to the division that made him great. Maybe this is a little bit of karma for Nelly Angel. Continue to taunt the devil and eventually he shows up at the doorstep. Xavier knows all the underhanded tricks Nelly, not going to work this time.
Xavier Williams
Jimmy Zane vs Homeless Harold
Grudge Match
Keybo: If Zane wanted this, he got it. Though I can't imagine why he would want this. But hey, he's allowed to do anything he wants, far be it from me to tell him how bad of a decision I thought this was. Just hope he's concious at the end of this one.
Homeless Harold
Falcon (c) vs Steve Awesome
Street Fight National Championship Match
Keybo: Maybe this is the vindication Steve was told he would get. His name cleared, his purpose fulfilled, anger and murder in his eyes, Steve gets his hands on that slippery bird again. This time, in a place Steve is more than willing to go. Sorry Falcon, you waved that steak in front of the dog too much, and now you're trapped in his yard.
Steve Awesome
Jack Hammond vs The Ace
NCW World Heavyweight Championship Match
Keybo: It comes down to the ultimate veteran, versus the ultimate underdog. This is the Ace's third go round in this type of dance, and you know what they say about the third time. But Hammond is a scrappy kid, and he won't go down easily. The question is, how long can he keep fighting?
The Ace
Adam Knite vs Angel vs Philip Burns vs MGK vs JFK vs AJ Phoenix
Coliseum Match for the #1 Contender spot for the World Title
Keybo: Everybody in here will tell you the same thing, mostly. The Resistance guys don't care who wins as long as it's one of them. The Revolution guys don't care who wins as long as it's Adam Knite. It's been three days and already we've seen dissesntion, so the dilemma is, who's going to play along? And who's going to fight back? It could very well be anyones time to shine, including Adams. And in a close set-up like this, I go with my gut.
Adam Knite
(He spins around again, back to the center, and camera #1, losing the turban in the process.)
Keybo: Now that all of that fun stuff is out of the way. Joining me in the studio is the Hero of your Heart, Joe Everyman!
("The Pretender" by the Foo Fighters play as Joe Everyman steps through the curtain. He and Keybo fist bump before Joe takes his seat on the couch.)
Keybo: Welcome to the Pulse, Joe.
Joe: Hey, great to be here.
Keybo: Now, you know I support you. But sometimes even I wonder where your head is at. I mean, you seem to have a lot of fun during the week. Do you think that hinders you in any way?
Joe: I don't think so. I have fun during the week sure, but so do a lot of people. In the ring, I'm all business.
Keybo: I know that. But it seems that since your injury, you've lost some of your step. Before then you were a two time National Champion, now you barely seem to scrape by.
Joe: I know I'm not the prime I was back then, but I'm getting there. Nothing is going to stop me. We'll get those tag belts, you'll see.
Keybo: I'll be waiting for it. Ready for some fan mail?
Joe: Sure, hit it.
Keybo: \Walter Kovacs from New York City asks; why are there so few of you left active, healthy and without personality disorders from XHF?
Joe: Because so many of the backstage stuff that went on, the weird ass matches and the fact that the staff was really "off", it seemed like it really got into their heads. I don't know if you can classify it as a post-XHF disease, but it was some sort of disorder. I was just lucky I didn't get infected.
Keybo: Well, I brought my breather mask just in case. A. Blake from West Hartford, CT asks; How does my fist taste anyways?
Joe: Well.. I have no idea who you are. I've never met you in my life... so I would say non-existant. Like North Dakota.
Keybo: You do realize that's Angel.. right? You just saw him the other day.
Joe: Nope, no idea.
Keybo: O...k.. Moving along. Some random guy asks; What's the funniest no show joke you've ever heard?
Joe: Well, I don't know exactly why you would be asking me this question. I always show up each week, win or lose. But, to answer your question, the funniest no show joke I've ever heard is, "The only way Scott Hall would show up to a show is if they were giving away free blowjobs, but even then, it's a flip of a coin guess".
Keybo: I have an idea why, but nevertheless. H. Jablome from Las Vegas, NV asks; Why is Mark Evil so awesome?
Joe: Well Mr. Jablome, this Mark Evil guy and I have alot of history. And to answer your question, there is no awesome part about Mark Evil. He is a washed up, waste of a person. He should just quit wrestling now to save him the shame of a 'Loser Leaves Town' match. It's just around the corner if you ask me. But, I still hope he beats Kristoff this Sunday...that guy is too...normal.
Keybo: Unresolved issues maybe?
Joe: No idea what you're talking about.
Keybo: And on that note that's all the time we have this week. For all of us here at New Championship Wrestling, this is Keybo Shabaz, host extraordinaire of the best show on Television, The Pulse! Now, remember..
Steel Chairs are fun...
Barbed Wire is a good time..
And always tip your waitress!
Good night.
(Everybody wants you by Damone plays again as the transmission fades out.)
"Hey, tune in next week for the aftermath of Soverign, and a special in guest in studio when I interview the card master himself, Chris Diamond! Questions? Comments? Want to ask where he keeps his mask? Send them in to:
TheShabaz@ncwentertainment.com
Or Call the studio lines at 1-866-555-3737
And I'll see you here next week!
(Reply with a question, or PM me if it's private. Just like the Fox Line you can ask ridiculous questions, just edit them for TV. Thanks for the support last week. Let's do it again this week. Everyone applaude Joe for showing up! Yay!)