Post by Keybo Shabaz on Apr 15, 2009 16:54:24 GMT -6
(Everybody wants you by Damone plays in the background, signaling the start of nCws favorite TV show, the Pulse! A highlight clip of nCws finest is shown for an opening montage. Fade in a sound stage, with a large desk and a neon "The Pulse" sign behind it. A man sits at the desk, black suit, gray tie, he shuffles the papers in front of him as the music fades and the camera shifts into position.)
Keybo: Welcome to the hottest show in New Championship Wrestling! That's right, forget O-TV, forget the Fox Line, forget Over the Top, this is where it is at my friends.
The Pulse!
Tax day is here kiddies! Have you filed yet? Oh, did I remind you of something? Well, sit tight, then. There will still be plenty of time after the show to worry about paying off the federal government. So, get ready for the Rundown!
Keybo: There are three loves of my life, wrestling, my beautiful wife and my mistress aptly named.. Trauma. This week provided fun and excitement like none before. The Sexy one got his chance at revenge against my High Voltage competition, Damien Sparks. And the Xtremely normal faced the Xtremely Awesome to find out who would reign as the king of the show.
Sexy Jason vs Damien Sparks
Grudge Match
Keybo: Vengeance is mine so sayeth the lawd! Nice job putting that suit back in his place, Jason. Now, you just need Amber. Though a think a certain little sexpot at the Trauma commentary table has her eyes on you too.
Damien Sparks 0-1
Steve Awesome vs Kristoff Liam Bates
Keybo: Bates has been on fire since he debuted here, with very little hope of anyone ever stopping him. But, Steve Awesome is no slouch. These two met headlong in the ring and part of the universe exploded.. and it was awesome. And when the dust settled, the Awesome one took the throne of Trauma, and we will all bow before him.
Steve Awesome 1-1
Keybo: But Trauma is just the appetizer. Like a delicious breadstick before your pizza gets here. Collision is the filling deliciousness, and once again, it did not disapoint.
Everyman faced the Hamster under Xtreme rules, the contender for the tag belts was decided, Jimmy Zane would try to get revenge for last week, Kelly and Kathy settled in the ring instead of a catfight, and Angel and AJ Phoenix gave us another classic battle.
Joe Everyman vs Jack Hammond
Xtreme Rules
Keybo: Broken bones and tables, not much more you could ask for. Everyman has solidified himself as a contender for the Xtreme title, and Hammond showed that he has the heart of a Lion. This match settled the debate of heart versus courage, and heart won out. Way to go Jack.
Jack Hammond 2-1
Homeless Harold vs MGK
Keybo: A lot of people have been thrown in front of Harold. I've had faith in a couple of winning, but MGK still looks like he's gaining back something he lost in his absence. He gave it a good go, but Harold is still Harold. I just hope he's not hurt.
Homeless Harold 3-1
Dirty Deal vs The Family Diamond
#1 Contendership to the Tag Team Championship
Keybo: This started out being epic, but ended in tragedy. I knew Rob wasn't happy with the way Chris was playing favorites, but I didn't expect this. Now, Dirty Deal gets what they want, and the Diamonds get some family therapy time.
The Family Diamond 3-2
Falcon vs Jimmy Zane
Keybo: Jimmy Zane had it right. He had the drive, the motivation, the desire, but what he didn't count on was a mean streak in a little blue bird. Now, Jimmy is taking time off and Falcon gets a National title shot. Where is the justice?
Falcon 4-2
Kelly Fox vs Kathleen Conway
Keybo: Who knew Kelly Fox was a classically trained wrestler? I didn't. But, even so, Adam played a little bit of the mind games to ensure the Ace could not interfere, and that left Kathy at Kellys mercy. One roll up later, Kelly took home the win.
Kathleen Conway 4-3
AJ Phoenix vs Angel
Keybo: This would be the tenth time these two have battled, and all nine previous times AJ came up just a little bit short. But this time, with my backing, he came through. Though it didn't stop him from almost dying at the hands of Angel. And only the angellic face of a three year old stopped it.
AJ Phoenix 5-3
Week: 5-3
2009: 46-25
Keybo: And yet again, my streak continues. I'm still hot and Vegas still hates me, so get on board the Keybo bandwagon before it's too late. Oh, too late, as we look into.. The Future!
(Keybo spins the chair again, stopping facing the other way. He reaches down and puts on weird turban, looking like the thing Johnny Carson used to do. The camera switching to #3.)
Keybo: Trauma, oh Trauma where for art thou Trauma? But, never fear, probably the West Minster Dog Show on that day or something. Just means you have to have your dinner without an appetizer. But don't fret, you look like you could skip a couple crab cakes.
Chino vs Mark Evil
Xtreme Rules
Keybo: I sure hope Chino knows what he signed on for by inking his name on that contract. Facing Mark Evil is a bit unnerving in itself, but add in Xtreme rules and you're asking for a transfusion.
Mark Evil
JFK vs Jack Hammond
Keybo: An exciting match up, no doubt. JFK has always been a world class wrestler, and Hammond himself a world class showmen. I expect excitement, adventure and perhaps a broken announce table or two.
Jack Hammond
Rob Diamond, Kristoff Liam Bates and Homeless Harold vs The Ace and the Lords of Destruction.
Keybo: This one is tough to call. On one side is the World champion and two former National champions, but on the other.. is the monster Harold and the near invincible Bates. In the end, I had to flip a coin, and sorry guys, but it came up heads.
Diamond, Bates and Harold
Age of the Revolution (c) vs Dirty Deal
NCW Tag Team Championship Match
Keybo: The Revolution is a hairsbreath from walking to the gallows, but Angel and Burns have one more chance to salvage the belts for themselves and solidify themselves on top of the Tag division. Standing in the way, is Dirty Deal. A big roadblock to be sure, but I don't think it's big enough.
Age of the Revolution
Joe Everyman vs Hexx
Tables Match
Keybo: Wow. This is right before the main event? I mean, it's obvious that I support Joe Everyman in anything he does. But I can't say the same for Hexx. Really, I can't.
Joe Everyman
Steve Awesome (c) vs Falcon
I Quit NCW National Championship Match
Keybo: Here it is, the final epic battle between the Awesome one and that little blue bird. Fighting it out until one of them screams out, I Quit. It's hard to decide who to pick, and in these cases, my money is always on retention.
Steve Awesome
(He spins around again, back to the center, and camera #1, losing the turban in the process.)
Keybo: Joining me in the studio is a former NCW National Champion and debonair businessman, James Franklin Karn!
("White Knuckles" by Five Finger Death Punch plays as JFK emerges from backstage. He walks up to the barricade, touching hands with the fans, then takes a seat on the couch.)
Keybo: Welcome to the Pulse, Mr. Karn.
JFK: My pleasure Mr. Shabaz.
Keybo: How are you this fine Tax Day? Everything taken care of?
JFK: Oh, absolutely, what kind of self respecting businessman would I be if I didn't do my part?
Keybo: Good man, sir. Since you returned from injury you've been fighting for the cause of the Resistance rather than your own personal goals, now that the war is almost over, was it worth it?
JFK: Yes. The Revolution are selfish and misguided. It sounds noble, but they're just as evil as they claim we are.
Keybo: Right. Any plans for after that?
JFK: Maybe the tag belts with my brother. Maybe I'll give Steve Awesome a go for the National title. I'm keeping my options open.
Keybo: Nice. Ready for some fan questions?
JFK: Alright..
Keybo: This one is from.. oddly enough it's from Everyman. And he asks, Hi, James, my question is this...why are you so obsessed with Maria? I know you don't say it much anymore, but you tried to steal her a lot way back when. So...what the hell?
JFK: I was a different man back then Joe, in case you haven’t noticed, I have changed my ways, I won’t delve into this too much, but you want to know WHY I did what I did...it's simple really Joe, I was out to hurt you, and in doing so, hurt my brother, who at the time, was your mentor, it was nothing personal kid, and to this day, I still have the utmost respect for you and your wife, so let’s put that whole ordeal behind us ok? Good.
Keybo: Nice to see we can all get along if we try. Mary A. Richman from well.. somewhere.. asks.. Are you happily married? If so, do you know anyone in nCw who isn't that I could possibly get a hold of? I'm a BIG fan, and am super hot. I'm recently widowed and...well...I'm looking for a new man. Thanks.
JFK: My onscreen marriage is indeed truth Mary, me and Christina Kelly Kaos Karn are happily married now for the past half year, and see no signs of slowing down anytime soon. I do hear that Jack Hammond is available though; why not hit him up sometime?
Keybo: I don't think Hammonds wife would like that, but moving along. Julie Poorgirl from Kansas asks.. Why don't you have a sexy body like Sexy Jason? He turns me on.
JFK: Sorry to disappoint darlin but not all of us can put in the time and dedication to their body's like good ol Sexy Jason, the man is a machine I tell ya.
Keybo:Quite. Phil Bates asks.. Your history fighting against Angel and Falcon in nCw is well documented, my question is, once it’s all said and done, who will you war with next?
JFK: No one, and I do mean no one, has gotten under my skin like Angel and Falcon have, since my war with my little brother back in the day, that being said, who's next? I really have no hard animosity towards anyone, so if someone wants to pick a fight with me, then so be it, and who ever management wants to pit me against, I'll take on.
Keybo: Sometimes I think those two need a good beating. T-Square from Dublin asks.. Mr Karn, do you have any plans to go after the nnational or World titles?......yes I know..a serious question..how rare...
JFK: Well, I am a former National Title Champion, and as far as the World Title goes, anything's possible, Right now I trust both men who hold each respect title, so as far as me targeting them? Probably not, not unless management wants me to, but I will tell you this, if Adam Knite somehow walks out of Night to Remember as the World Champion? Ya damn right I'll be right there to take it from him. It will be a short lived title reign I guarantee that.
Keybo: You hear that Adam? Well, we're out of time this week. I'd like to thank JFK for hanging out with me today. I'll see you hear next week. Always remember..
Steel Chairs are fun...
Barbed Wire is a good time...
And always tip your waitress!
Good night.
(Everybody wants you by Damone plays again as the transmission fades out.)
"Hey, join me again next week when my guest in the studio will be the most Awesome of Awesome ones, Steve Awesome! Questions? Comments? Wanna ask him out? Send them in to:
TheShabaz@ncwentertainment.com
Or Call the studio lines at 1-866-555-3737
And I'll see you here next week!"
(Reply with a question, or PM me if it's private. Just like the Fox Line you can ask ridiculous questions, just edit them for TV.)