Post by Keybo Shabaz on May 13, 2009 18:00:56 GMT -6
(Everybody wants you by Damone plays in the background, signaling the start of nCws favorite TV show, the Pulse! A highlight clip of nCws finest is shown for an opening montage. Fade in a sound stage, with a large desk and a neon "The Pulse" sign behind it. A man sits at the desk, black suit, gray tie, he shuffles the papers in front of him as the music fades and the camera shifts into position.)
Keybo: Welcome to the hottest show in New Championship Wrestling! That's right, forget O-TV, forget the Fox Line, forget Over the Top, this is where it is at my friends.
The Pulse!
Reborn is shaping up nicely. The Elite 8 X Division tournament is moving along at breakneck speed and a number one contender for the World title has been decided. Plus, a Tag title defense! Who knew a standard week could be so awesome? That's right, you do if you tune in here! Time for the Rundown!
(Keybo spins in the chair, stopping when he's facing the left side of the desk, looking into camera #2)
Keybo: Trauma started strong and finished stronger. The Tag titles were contended, the first round of the Elite 8 got underway, and two of nCws finest challenged each other for the ruler of Trauma.
NAZI vs Angel and Philip Burns*
nCw World Tag Team Championship Match
Keybo: Well the euphoria of a NAZI Tag Team Title shot was shortlived. One Heavens Gates was opened, and then closed, and the Burning Angels remained Tag Team Champions. Hooray.
Burning Angels 1-0
Mike Honcho vs Jackhammer
Keybo: Jackhammer comes off a loss and immediately finds vengeance by physically destroying the lovable Diamond Dallas Honcho. And well, hopefully Honcho's hospital stay isn't long.
Mike Honcho 1-1
Kristoff Liam Bates vs Joe Everyman
Elite 8 First Round Singles Match
Keybo: Round one of the elite 8 began with a giant surprise that nobody expected. I mean, I like Joe Everyman, I really do, but I never expected him to win. Maybe I should bet against him more often, maybe that works.
Kristoff Liam Bates 1-2
Adam Knite vs Steve Awesome
Keybo: Knite - Awesome, two names synonomous with top tier quality wrestling. And they did not disapoint. But, even after all that awesomeness, Harold stuck his face into something it didn't belong, and gave Knite the win.
Steve Awesome 1-3
Keybo: Collision saw the continuation of the Elite 8. Three more classic matches for the tournament, and a contender match for Adam Knites world title. Who would come out on top? Well, if you missed Collision, here's where to find out!
Shaddix vs Xavier Williams
Elite 8 First Round Singles Match
Keybo: Wow, this is turning out to be a tournament of Dark Horses. Oddly enough, each vying for a chance to take on the ultimate underdog, how odd. Anyway, nice try X, but the kid just wanted it a bit more. Well, the Pale Horse just wanted him to have it a bit more.
Xavier Williams 1-4
Sexy Jason vs Steve Ramone
Keybo: Ok, so I can be a little off at times. I thought that Ramone would find the courage to pull out a win here and show that his contract signing was worth it. But Sexy Jason needed a win to make a point, and a point was definately made.
Steve Ramone 1-5
Rob Diamond vs JFK
Elite 8 First Round Singles Match
Keybo: Beat the card booker, and he gives you what you want. Maybe Chris thought JFK could teach Rob a lesson that he himself could not, but in the end, it was Karn who found a lesson learned.
Rob Diamond 2-5
Falcon vs Nero
Elite 8 First Round Singles Match
Keybo: Nero is trying to become the first wilcard to make it into the tournament and win it, and well, it didn't happen. It seems the Pale Horse was so concerned with Xavier Williams that he let the bird boy have round 1. Don't worry Nero, your time is coming.
Nero 2-6
Homeless Harold vs AJ Phoenix
Keybo: AJ did it! Hallelujah. He survived an interfering hand from Adam Knite, and got a little help for himself from the Awesome one. And now, the date is set for Reborn. Will Adam falter to the Phoenix? Or will he make sure it stays ashes?
AJ Phoenix 3-6
Week: 3-6
2009: 65-35
Keybo: So I had an off week, ok it was a really off week, but that's no reason to lose faith as I'm still up 30 for the year. But, time for me to get back on track as we head into The Future!
(Keybo spins the chair again, stopping facing the other way. He reaches down and puts on an Angel dreadlock wig (See last week. The camera switching to #3.)
Keybo: Remember, remember the 16th of May!? Ah well, when it's Trauma time!
Hexx vs Steve Ramone
Keybo: And it comes down to this. After close battles with both Nero and Sexy Jason, Ramone finds himself faced with the greatest challenge... ok I can't even lie about this, he's facing Hexx. And well, he had better win this one.
Steve Ramone
Dirty Deal vs Perfect Freaks
Keybo: After week of practically destroying anyone who stepped in his way, Kristoff is finally bored with beating one guy a night and is now going for two. At his side? Nero. And the step right to the plate with one of the best nCw has to offer.
Perfect Freaks
MGK vs Mark Evil
Keybo: MGK seems to be back in the swing of things now, but he faces a test in the hardcore badass. It's hard to pick this one out, but without Xtreme rules in effect, I need to lean toward the classic wrestler.
MGK
Xavier Williams vs Angel
Keybo: Months ago these two put on the greatest spectacle nCw had ever seen in it's young life inside the first Death Cage. Now, there's nothing on the line, just pure old fashion respect. Can X do it? Yes. But not with the roll Angel has been on lately.
Angel
Keybo: And so Trauma ends on that high note. But Collision promises to pick up the slack and leave you wanting more. As always.
JFK and The Ace vs Lords of Destruction
Keybo: The Sexy Hammer redebuts after that whole Xtreme title fiasco, making a promise to find the way to the promised land. But in the way stand two legendary Vets who want to show them the way back out the door.
JFK/Ace
Shaddix vs Joe Everyman
Elite 8 - Round 2
Keybo: Round 2 begins with the battle of the underdogs. Shaddix defeated the amazing Xavier Williams, and Everyman got by the unstoppable KLB. But the road ends for one of them, and this time, I'm putting my money on Everyman. Don't let me down buddy.
Joe Everyman
Philip Burns vs Jack Hammond
Keybo: One half of the tag champions taking on the X Division champion. This promises to be a classic show of talent and athleticism that has the capability of overshadowing every match before and after it.
Jack Hammond
Rob Diamond vs Falcon
Elite 8 - Round 2
Keybo: The other semi final match promises to be an epic battle of will and determination. Diamond has the talent to be sure, but Falcon has proven time and time again you can't keep him down. Will the Pale Horse get involved? Or will he wait and watch from the shadows?
Falcon
Adam Knite and Homeless Harold vs Steve Awesome and AJ Phoenix
Keybo: And Collision will end with the same intensity that it opens with. Adam and AJ want each others blood so bad they might as well be vampires. And Steve and Harold have no love lost between them either. This one is going to be a war like no other, that I promise you.
Steve Awesome and AJ Phoenix
(He spins around again, back to the center, and camera #1, losing the Angel wig in the process.)
(Homeless Harold enters the room, looking around, his arms hugging his sides, Keybo motions for him to sit and he does, Keybo looks uncomfortable, and he begins twirling his fingers in Steve Awesome's hair)
Keybo: Thanks for being on the show Harold.
(Harold cocks his head at Keybo, but says nothing.)
Keybo: I guess the question on everyones mind is, you've been wrestling for quite some time now, surely.. you've made enough to rent an apartment somewhere?
Harold: ..............
Keybo: Not one for small talk I see.
Harold: ..............
Keybo: Let's.. just get to the fan submissions.
(Harold nods.)
Keybo: K.L. Bates from You know where I live.. you stalker? Oh, it's Kristoff.. he asks I was just wondering when you will come to talk to me, man. You're thing with Steve is very disturbing and I think we really need to get you some help. Cutting his hair and putting him in the hospital is not good. Please, Harold...stop it.
Harold: Bates is a good friend of mine. Bates, at this current point in time I am unable to talk to you. I am focused on something, and I am sorry that I haven't been spending much time on the billboard across the road. Please, don't take this the wrong way. I love watching you and your family. I love it when you throw the ball for your dog, and it runs to the ball, but then doesn't bring it back. I love the way your children run and jump through the sprinkler. But, I saved you already Bates. I have moved on, and now I am working on Steve's life. See, you thought I was a monster too, I did some messed up things to you, granted not nearly as messed up as the hair thing but regardless of that in the long run, you are a better person for it. If Steve follows your lead, he will also be better in the long run and will live a long, happy and productive life with his family. Otherwise, he will have to watch good old Uncle Harold take over.
Keybo: And Steve thought Falcon was invasive. L. Ranalt from good old Philly asks.. Hi Harold, I'm a big fan, but I've noticed ever since your loss to Bates a few months back, it seems more and more wrestlers are prepared to stand up to you, knowing you can be defeated. Does this at all bother you that so many "little" guys feel they can beat you? And when, if ever, will you go after the World Title?
(Harold chuckles to himself.)
Harold: See, having the guts to stand up to me, and being successful while doing it are two separate things. Yes, I lost to the smaller Kristoff, but he is something special. Mr. Ranalt, I want you to look at what happened to those I faced after. The Ace, Hammond, MGK and the top superstars in this company. I have little by little beaten them and proven them wrong. If I lose, I lose. My only concern is that during that match change occurs, and people will become better because of me. That is my ultimate goal, to cleanse humanity by being the enemy. As far as the World Title, I have beaten the champions. The last five champions of this federation have all been beaten by me at some point. That includes our current champion. Let's put it this way, if I ever want the title I will have it, but I am happy doing what I am doing now.
Keybo: Nothing like quiet confidence. D. Sanchez from.. over in the other alley.. how are these people affording postage? Anyway, he asks.. Harold, being homeless like yourself, I was wondering what's the best make shift house? I have a Panasonic big screen TV box I'm housed in right now, but it's getting old and beaten up, and with all these flat screens, giant livable boxes are harder to come by. Any suggestions?
Harold: I find that picking cans out of the garbage for nickels can quickly purchase you a roll of post office grade packing tape. This stuff works great for home repairs. Otherwise, I normally stalk the appliance department at Sears until someone buys a washer or dryer, I then wait for them to load it in the truck, then I cause a distraction, normally by defecating in the parking lot. Then when they go inside to inform security I hoist the appliance on my shoulder in the box and run away. I put a bathroom addition on my house this way, but I recommend a bag of lime if you are going that route. Also, if that was you eating franks and beans out of a can across the road last week, feel free to invite the neighbor over once in awhile, I love franks and beans.
Keybo: Well that explains the postage. That's all the time we have for this week. I'd like to thank Harold for dropping by this week.
(Harold nods.)
Keybo: Always remember..
Steel chairs are fun..
Barbed Wire is a good time..
And always tip your waitress..
Good night.
(Everybody wants you by Damone plays again as the transmission fades out.)
"Hey, join me again next week when my guest in the studio will be the next winner of Make Me a Supermodel, Sexy Jason! Questions? Comments? Wanna offer to oil him up? Send them in to:
TheShabaz@ncwentertainment.com
Or Call the studio lines at 1-866-555-3737
And I'll see you here next week!"
(Reply with a question, or PM me if it's private. Just like the Fox Line you can ask ridiculous questions, just edit them for TV.)