Post by Rob Diamond on May 30, 2009 23:09:40 GMT -6
Before we get started, I won't be producing anymore flashy promos this week, mostly because my big brother Chris has cut my production financing. But, on the up side of things I managed to "borrow" Steve Awesome's handi cam to film a quick little promo to my good buddy Steve Ramone. Why am I telling you all this? No real reason, other to understand that nothing super awesome is going to happen in the next five minutes. Just me, sitting in a room with some mentally handi-caped people, basically using them to garner your sympathy in a match against a guy who said the same five sentences to me over and over again. I mean really, do I need to know his kid is retarded to wrestle him? No, not at all, yet he seems to bring it up all the time.
"Man, I am gonna whoop you so bad, and yeah my retard kid just laughed at the lame joke, or maybe at Sponge Bob, but probably me."
What are you half Tard too? Now I know where she got it from. So now that your done repeating something about books seven hundred times, what are you going to do next? Tell me this match is dedicated in your kid's honor and your totally going to make me eat my own words or something equally as stupid? Look, I know what it's like to walk into a new place and be thrust right into the jobber position, but no amount of bull**** is going to get you out of that spot. See, you gotta be able to back it up. And as "dazzling" in the ring as you may or may not be, you've yet to back it up. Where as me, Mr. "I don't judge a book by it's cover, because honestly, Rain Man comes on DVD now, I don't need to read a book" I've backed it up.
See, you FAILED to even qualify for the Elite 8, me, I made it to the finals. So who is underestimating who? I'm basing my opinion of you on your past performances, which in most cases is a sound judgment. i mean, if you sucked last week, then your probably gonna suck this week, you know what I mean? Probably not. Let me put this in terms your going to understand.
Rob Diamond > Steve Ramone > Hexx > Joe Everyman
Is that simple enough for you. Now if you wouldn't mind taking a look at that for a second, it clearly states that I am better than you. There is no argument. It's just a fact, deal with it. Oh and by the way, like a side note, since you base so much of your own credibility on promo cutting, you might want to try not repeating yourself a hundred times. It gets kind of boring. I'm not going to go as far as to say it put me to sleep, but I will say that I got the point the first time.
Don't judge a retard by it's lazy eye... or something...
And I won't Steve, I promise I won't. I'll make my judgment when I get in the ring with you this Sunday and beat you faster than a Normal versus a Retard in Chess. It'll be just that easy too. Cause while your flipping around like a fairy, I'll be right in the middle of the ring waiting to snap your neck with a Diamond Cutter.
But I've gone way off topic. I said this promo was going to take place in a room full of "mentally" handicapped people, and it is. See I just turned the camera on and the scene just opened up. There's some dude to my left drooling on the floor. Theres some real ugly bitch, you know with that Sloth looking face, just staring at a Lego. Then theres this other guy and he appears to be making love to a card board cut out of Micheal J. Fox. It all just completes the scene of sympathy. How? You ask... Well... because... uhh... I'm... on screen with them... How bout this, I'm related to them some how and I spend like one day a year whipping their asses or something... Yeah, let's say that and just move on to the whole promo thing.
You know the great thing about America? We can say and do whatever the hell we want. If we want to just invade some country, we do it. If we want to just take some people's oil, we do it. If we want to just tell someone their religion sucks, we ****ing do it. And that's how I think every day life should be for American's. Why the hell should we stand in line and be polite, please and thank you bull**** when our great country pisses all over those ideals. Thats what has lead me to the decision to just do and say whatever the hell I feel like from here on out.
As for my partner Steve Ramone, a man who is hindered by his family, a man who is so blind to his own inadequacies that he has to rely on the support of his half wit child to build his own self confidence, I could care less about him.
Steve I tried to be your friend, I tried to support you, I tried to say I'd be there when you need me, but forget all that, now you've pissed me off and now all I want to do is rip your head off your shoulders. Now I'm sure your gonna go into the whole "You can't do that because it's wrestling and that would be murder and it's wrong" and that's where I tell you that I mean it figuratively you jack ass. But you being you, needs to grasp at whatever straws i hand you because you really have nothing to say to me.
i mean what can you say to me? You've lost basically every match you've been in. Again, Hexx doesn't count. You'd have to be a retard... heh... To lose to Hexx... Which means your only a few chromosomes away from losing to Hexx on any given day. I'm sure your feeling pretty heated right now, I'm sure I've got your blood pressure going and all, and I'm sure your prepping up another pointless promo where you just yammer on repeating some cliched phrase from the fifteen hundreds. So I want to to save you some time before you do all that for nothing.
Just shut up. Seriously. Zip your lip and deal with the loss I'm about to hand you. I mean whats one more loss for you anyways? You've got a pretty stellar collection going thus far, I'm just looking to help you out. And there I go being the nice guy again.
I'm gonna lay it out for you Steve. This is your last chance. Right now, I'm being nice. But if you don't watch your damn mouth, then I'm going to get mad, and well to steal a line from perhaps the greatest comic book hero of all time...
You won't like me when I'm angry.
But this Sunday, it's not going to be a comic book story. The good guy won't win. The better man won't win. I'm going to win. I'm taking a page out of America's play book Steve. And that page is the one where America will do ANYTHING to get the job done. From torture to mass murder. Because the Xtreme American Dream is no longer about realizing my own, it's abut depriving you of yours.
At this point, I get all up in the lens of the camera, knocking over the guy humping Micheal J. Fox and kicking the ugly bitch in the stomach, hitting an evenflow DDT then bypassing the drooling guy because this is a new shirt. i get all up in that lens and I'm looking at Steve like "What now bitch?" And with that, I fade the **** out.
"Man, I am gonna whoop you so bad, and yeah my retard kid just laughed at the lame joke, or maybe at Sponge Bob, but probably me."
What are you half Tard too? Now I know where she got it from. So now that your done repeating something about books seven hundred times, what are you going to do next? Tell me this match is dedicated in your kid's honor and your totally going to make me eat my own words or something equally as stupid? Look, I know what it's like to walk into a new place and be thrust right into the jobber position, but no amount of bull**** is going to get you out of that spot. See, you gotta be able to back it up. And as "dazzling" in the ring as you may or may not be, you've yet to back it up. Where as me, Mr. "I don't judge a book by it's cover, because honestly, Rain Man comes on DVD now, I don't need to read a book" I've backed it up.
See, you FAILED to even qualify for the Elite 8, me, I made it to the finals. So who is underestimating who? I'm basing my opinion of you on your past performances, which in most cases is a sound judgment. i mean, if you sucked last week, then your probably gonna suck this week, you know what I mean? Probably not. Let me put this in terms your going to understand.
Rob Diamond > Steve Ramone > Hexx > Joe Everyman
Is that simple enough for you. Now if you wouldn't mind taking a look at that for a second, it clearly states that I am better than you. There is no argument. It's just a fact, deal with it. Oh and by the way, like a side note, since you base so much of your own credibility on promo cutting, you might want to try not repeating yourself a hundred times. It gets kind of boring. I'm not going to go as far as to say it put me to sleep, but I will say that I got the point the first time.
Don't judge a retard by it's lazy eye... or something...
And I won't Steve, I promise I won't. I'll make my judgment when I get in the ring with you this Sunday and beat you faster than a Normal versus a Retard in Chess. It'll be just that easy too. Cause while your flipping around like a fairy, I'll be right in the middle of the ring waiting to snap your neck with a Diamond Cutter.
But I've gone way off topic. I said this promo was going to take place in a room full of "mentally" handicapped people, and it is. See I just turned the camera on and the scene just opened up. There's some dude to my left drooling on the floor. Theres some real ugly bitch, you know with that Sloth looking face, just staring at a Lego. Then theres this other guy and he appears to be making love to a card board cut out of Micheal J. Fox. It all just completes the scene of sympathy. How? You ask... Well... because... uhh... I'm... on screen with them... How bout this, I'm related to them some how and I spend like one day a year whipping their asses or something... Yeah, let's say that and just move on to the whole promo thing.
You know the great thing about America? We can say and do whatever the hell we want. If we want to just invade some country, we do it. If we want to just take some people's oil, we do it. If we want to just tell someone their religion sucks, we ****ing do it. And that's how I think every day life should be for American's. Why the hell should we stand in line and be polite, please and thank you bull**** when our great country pisses all over those ideals. Thats what has lead me to the decision to just do and say whatever the hell I feel like from here on out.
As for my partner Steve Ramone, a man who is hindered by his family, a man who is so blind to his own inadequacies that he has to rely on the support of his half wit child to build his own self confidence, I could care less about him.
Steve I tried to be your friend, I tried to support you, I tried to say I'd be there when you need me, but forget all that, now you've pissed me off and now all I want to do is rip your head off your shoulders. Now I'm sure your gonna go into the whole "You can't do that because it's wrestling and that would be murder and it's wrong" and that's where I tell you that I mean it figuratively you jack ass. But you being you, needs to grasp at whatever straws i hand you because you really have nothing to say to me.
i mean what can you say to me? You've lost basically every match you've been in. Again, Hexx doesn't count. You'd have to be a retard... heh... To lose to Hexx... Which means your only a few chromosomes away from losing to Hexx on any given day. I'm sure your feeling pretty heated right now, I'm sure I've got your blood pressure going and all, and I'm sure your prepping up another pointless promo where you just yammer on repeating some cliched phrase from the fifteen hundreds. So I want to to save you some time before you do all that for nothing.
Just shut up. Seriously. Zip your lip and deal with the loss I'm about to hand you. I mean whats one more loss for you anyways? You've got a pretty stellar collection going thus far, I'm just looking to help you out. And there I go being the nice guy again.
I'm gonna lay it out for you Steve. This is your last chance. Right now, I'm being nice. But if you don't watch your damn mouth, then I'm going to get mad, and well to steal a line from perhaps the greatest comic book hero of all time...
You won't like me when I'm angry.
But this Sunday, it's not going to be a comic book story. The good guy won't win. The better man won't win. I'm going to win. I'm taking a page out of America's play book Steve. And that page is the one where America will do ANYTHING to get the job done. From torture to mass murder. Because the Xtreme American Dream is no longer about realizing my own, it's abut depriving you of yours.
At this point, I get all up in the lens of the camera, knocking over the guy humping Micheal J. Fox and kicking the ugly bitch in the stomach, hitting an evenflow DDT then bypassing the drooling guy because this is a new shirt. i get all up in that lens and I'm looking at Steve like "What now bitch?" And with that, I fade the **** out.