Post by Keybo Shabaz on Jul 1, 2009 18:50:50 GMT -6
(Everybody wants you by Damone plays in the background, signaling the start of nCws favorite TV show, the Pulse! A highlight clip of nCws finest is shown for an opening montage. Fade in a sound stage, with a large desk and a neon "The Pulse" sign behind it. A man sits at the desk, black suit, gray tie, his forehead is still bandaged and he looks a bit roughed up, he shuffles the papers in front of him as the music fades and the camera shifts into position.)
Keybo: Welcome to the hottest show in New Championship Wrestling! That's right, forget O-TV, forget the Fox Line, forget Over the Top, this is where it is at my friends.
The Pulse!
Picture Perfect is a mere four days away. The card is set, the matches are announced and people are getting ready for the action. Some will get what they want, and some will get whats coming to them. Hear me you Dirty clowns.. judgement day is coming.
(Keybo spins in the chair, stopping when he's facing the left side of the desk, looking into camera #2.)
Keybo: The last week before a pay-per-view is always the most suspenseful, and I can guarantee you, if you missed this, you'll be kicking yourself when I'm done.
Steve Ramone vs Jackhammer
Keybo: Ask and ye shall receive. Steve Ramone wanted a tougher challenge here in nCw, and did he ever get one. Jackhammer showed him that sometimes you just do get what you wish for, and regret it later.
Jackhammer 1-0
NAZI vs The Superfans
Keybo: Hexx has managed to eek out a win here or there, but teaming with Mimic doesn't always garner the same results. Case in point, my home boys the Superfans pick up the win with style and flair.
The Superfans 2-0
Falcon vs Philip Burns
Keybo: It can be said that spending excessive amount of time in a tag team can have a negative impact on singles wrestling. Burns may have lost this match, but he's still a piece of the best tag puzzle ever seen.
Falcon 3-0
Homeless Harold vs Chris Brock
Keybo: I take back what I said. It seems that Harold almost looked like the one in danger here, and this certainly was not good prep for the Awesome one. But, it was good prep for Chris Brock as he continues to roll his way through the ranks
Homeless Harold 3-1
And so, Trauma came to a conclusion. But, like any good program, it left you hungering for your next fix, a day later.
The Ace vs Cameron Corvis
Unsanctioned Match
Keybo: This can't be healthy for the Ace. Dangerous things happen when you remove all the rules from a bloody competition like this one, and it appears to be taking a toll on him.
Cameron Corvis 4-1
Dirty Deal vs Keybo Shabaz
Handicap Match
Keybo: I'm grateful for all of your concerning letters, but I assure you that my physical checked out fine and I am perfectly ok. What? You think they didn't learn a lesson? Oh they haven't... yet.
Dirty Deal 5-1
Steve Awesome vs "Bad Luck" Chuck
Keybo: Well, one devastating roundhouse kick and down goes Chuck. I just hope the Awesome one is truly ready for round 2 with the monster.
Steve Awesome 6-1
Joe Everyman vs Kristoff Liam Bates
Keybo: I can beg. I can plead. But I can't seem to force Everyman to win a damn wrestling match. Bates avenged his loss in the Elite 8, and Everyman gets a spot on Wired. Come on Joe, you're better than this.
Kristoff Liam Bates 7-1
Night Blade vs Shaddix
Special Guest: Jack Hammond
Keybo: I give Hammond all the credit in the world. Even after Night Blade gave him a thumping, he stayed fair, realizing that it was an accident. But, it didn't seem to help Night Blade any as Shaddix picked up the win.
Night Blade 7-2
Adam Knite and Davey Ortega vs Angel and Nero vs Sexy Jason and Fergus Callghan vs Rob Diamond and Xavier Williams
Keybo: And random fails me. Adam and Davey fought, Angel and Nero didn't even make it to the ring, Jason and Fergus looked lost. So that gave Diamond and Xavier a chance to win, not after Xavier gave that little bastard some payback.
Sexy Jason and Fergus Callaghan 7-3
Week: 7-3
2009: 100-59
Keybo: And I reach 100 wins with grace and finesse like few else possess. Yes, I am that much of a man. Let's see Curtis or Ron do anything close to that.
(Keybo spins the chair again, stopping facing the other way. He reaches down and puts on a Fergus Callaghan wig. The camera switching to #3.)
Keybo: Get the popcorn ready. Grab the sode case and call your friends because Picture Perfect is this Sunday and you should be watching it. You are going to watch it right? That's what I thought.
The Ace vs Chris Brock vs Steve Ramone vs Jackhammer
Russian Roulette Match
Keybo: Here you go Ace, this is your chance to get back in the door. Win this match and you're in. Unfortunately, any of the other three win and it's kudos to you mi amigo.
The Ace
Joe Everyman vs Night Blade
Xtreme Rules Grudge Match
Keybo: Well Joe, here's your chance. Night Blade has been picking on you for a while now, and now you need to show him what for. Show some Xtreme Ascension, I'm begging you.
Joe Everyman
Sexy Jason (c) vs Fergus Callaghan
nCw Xtreme Title Match
Keybo: After winning the Xtreme showcase, you had better believe Fergus is ready for this. But Sexy Jason knows what Xtreme is, and will be more than ready.
Fergus Callaghan
Dirty Deal vs The Superfans
Keybo: This is it. Part one of the Dirty Deal lesson. They finished the prologue of knowing I won't roll over and die, and now they get to find out what repercussions are really like. I have the utmost confidence that I will be sitting here next week, my job safe, that I can assure you.
The Superfans
Jack Hammond (c) vs Shaddix vs Xavier Williams vs Rob Diamond
Assault X for the nCw X Division Title Match[/color]
Keybo: History could very well be made here. Xavier Williams just might become the first four time X Division champion, and if I get my wish, he will. And finally get some measure of self confidence from the Hamster
Xavier Williams
Falcon vs Spike Kane
The Bird's Cage Match[/color]
Keybo: Spike Kane has been waiting for this day since he returned from injury. Now he gets his hands on the guy who put him there. Nobody can quite predict what will happen inside this structure, but I can promise you blood. Lots of it.
Spike Kane
Burning Angels (c) vs Perfect Freaks
Death Cage Match for the nCw Tag Team Titles[/color]
Keybo: Angel and Nero want to kill one another. Burns and Bates want to kill one another. What better place for that then the hellish structure that is the Death Cage? Let's just hope the aggression runs out before someone bleeds to death.
Perfect Freaks
Homeless Harold (c) vs Steve Awesome
nCw National Title Match[/color]
Keybo: Steve Awesome is pissed. I mean, beyond angry. Harold has stolen everything from him, his title, his pride, his family and now Awesome will not stop until he can take from Harold the one thing he can. His identity. If Steve wins this match, Harold has to remove his mask, and we'll know just who he really is.
Steve Awesome
Adam Knite (c) vs Davey Ortega
nCw World Title Match[/color]
Keybo: AJ may or may not be injured, but you can rest assured that either way he'll be watching this match closely. Watching as Ortega nimbly slides into his spot, and waiting for the right time to make his presence felt again.
Adam Knite
(He spins around again, back to the center, and camera #1, losing the Fergus wig in the process.)
Keybo: Now that Picture Perfect, I would like to welcome to the studio my guest this week. The Ace!
("Ace of Spades" by Bathory begins as Ace exits from backstage, his wife Kathy following behind him. He looks a little beat up, but otherwise ok. He glares at the booing crowd, before taking his seat.)
Keybo: Welcome to the Pulse, Ace.
Ace: I wish I could say its a pleasure to finally be on your show, but we both know that'd be as much a lie as saying I'm healthy enough to compete in this bull**** match Diamond expects me to compete in this Sunday...
Keybo: And you people wonder why it takes me so long to get around to you.. But about this match..
The Ace: I know some people are probably happy that my career may well come to an end this Sunday, hell those same people may even say I brought this all on myself when I refused to play the ball the suits wanted me to play, but those people are idiots and hypocrites. I don't have the luxury of boning the boss' daughter to be a success around here, I don't have friends throwing Coliseum matches for me. All I have is my family and all I want is a little respect Keybo. The World Title is my goal and once I've jumped through all of Diamond's hoops this Sunday and put not one, not two, but three of his little lap dogs down, The Ace will be the top card in the deck once again...
Keybo: What would we ever do without that legendary Ace confidence.. well, I'd ask if you're ready for fan questions, but I'm just going to ask them anyway. George J Washington from Portland, Oregon asks.. I was just wondering, why did you become such an asshole to the new guys? You were new once too, you know. I hope they all show you that they are not to be underestimated.
The Ace: Well I guess that piddly ass is happy now, huh? For the past two weeks, I've tried to stop these guys from thinking they can cash in on what should have been my success and for two weeks they kicked my ass and beat me, albeit unofficially. It was my contract money that Sampson squandered on his bull**** new talent initiative, I just tried to take back what was mine in the first place and that somehow makes me an asshole? Really? Well then I must be an asshole but an asshole who still underestimates them because ultimately they couldn't get the job done. I'm still here, I'm still breathing and I am still The Ace!
Keybo: Squandered? Nah, we just spent it on people who appreciate being here. Michelangelo Sanchez from New Brunswick, New Jersey asks.. Do you think you and I could have a future together?
The Ace: Why am I not surprised that this show is apparently a big hit with those who bat for the other team? I highly doubt I'm his first crush but if he comes near me, the only future we will share together is when I stick my sledgehammer right up his piddly ass and believe me that won't be nearly as pleasurable an experience for him as it sounds.
(Trademark Ace Smirk.)
Keybo: Why am I not surprised you failed to understand sarcasm? Mark Mckeenly from Boston, Massachusettes asks.. Ace, your career seems to be on a down turn lately, do you think it's because of the talent intiative in nCw or do you feel you just don't have it anymore? Personally I'm a huge Ace fan and would hate to see you go, I'm just wondering whats the deal lately?
The Ace: Finally a question from a real wrestling fan, not these fickle, hypocritical parasites. I thank you for your support Mark, and as long as there are people like you who respect me for what I do every week and not buy into the corporate propaganda in which I'm suddenly the bad guy, I shall continue to kick piddly asses for as long as I can. As for the initiative, they're just fly by night rookies on a hot streak right now. As for not having it anymore, I guess at 35, I need to know that answer as much for myself as you do Mark. That question will indeed be answered this Sunday, I'm in no condition to make guarantees but I just hope its an answer that we both would like to hear.
Keybo: Or not. Heathcliff P. Snuggentrousers from Tightwad.. is that a real place? In Mississippi..someplace.. asks.. Ace, why is it that you think you're better than everyone?
The Ace: I would laugh right now at that guy's obvious misunderstanding of the basic facts in life but my doctors tell me it would be excruciating, so I'll simply say this. I don't think I'm better than everyone, I know I am. The Ace is not just a fancy moniker for me to sell T-Shirts with but a way of life, and if I have to go down this Sunday, you can bet your piddly ass I won't go down without one hell of a fight. Then you will all know what I know already and that is even in defeat, I am the better man. Let's not get ahead of ourselves just yet though, you know someone once said 'To be the man you've got to beat the man and I am the man' and the same applies here. Even in my current state, I am still the man, actually I am more than a man, I am The Ace!
Keybo: So, you're still the man, after being beaten by other guys who are now 'the man', right. Anyway, Fergus Callaghan.. ooo a wrestler question, he asks.. Uh...Ace. In light of your recent actions by attacking the newer members of the roster. I guess my only question for you is whether you plan on attacking me next?
The Ace: Fergus, you can rest easy, you're not on my radar at the moment and I bet you're hoping you never will be, and the only way that is guaranteed is if I lose this Sunday, which as you know is not something that I plan to do sunshine.
Keybo: Right. Next one is from anonymous, but judging by this it's one of those tarded rednecks..Hey Ace, ask keybo what it feels like to be get his ass caved in by dirty deal? Oh Keybo, when we do beat those super fans, our first act will be to cancel this god forsaken show forever. Put your ass on the street like that other homeless mishap. It other words, it's been a pleasure.
The Ace: How does it feel Keybo? I can't imagine that it feels any worse than what I do right now, in any case I applaud Dirty Deal for their efforts, I'm just sorry they got to your smug little ass before I did.
Keybo: I'm right here if you wanna go, buddy.
(The Ace just smirks and brushes him off.)
Keybo: Next one is from Marc.. with a C.. oh, one of the Superfans. Dear Keybo, your job is safe no asshats will take it from you. P.S. Dirty Deal blows goats, I have proof. Nice to see I have some support from the people in the locker room.
The Ace: Maybe if you didn't act like such a tool to your guests.
Keybo: Maybe if you didn't act like a jackass to someone who invited you to do a show. Next is from Spike Kane.. oo nother wrestler question. He asks.. I for one am proud to see that you've dropped this whole "ladies man" bullcrap you've been doing for years. I just have one qustion, if you lose at Picture Perfect will you accept a farewell match in my coveted Dragon's Den?
(The Ace opens his mouth to respond but Kathy interrupts.)
Kathy: I am too Spike, believe me. But I am disappointed in you, I thought you of all people would have more faith in my husband when no one else does, he will not lose this Sunday because you trained him as an Xremist and as you know Spike, the breed of Xtremists that the two of you are, its always been a death before dishonour, never say die attitude. You two know each other so well and you should know that my husband will not be forced away from this business easily so he has no need to even consider accepting your challenge just yet yet.
(The Ace looks at his wife in shock.)
Kathy: What?
The Ace: I am still a ladies' man, you know...
(Kathy laughs.)
Kathy: Yeah right...
The Ace: I am!
Kathy: You need some more pain meds. You're delusional. What do you think?
(Kathy points at a woman in the front row.)
Woman: Oh no Mr Conway, you're not a ladies' man anymore, not like Dreamy Jason...
(The Ace looks on dismayed.)
The Ace: Next question Keybo!
(Kathy laughs and kisses him on the lips briefly.)
Keybo: Right.. James from Tulsa, Oaklahoma asks.. When are you going to get your piddy a*s in the ring with Sexy Jason so that he can kick your piddy a*s, that is if you are man enough to make it through this weekend.
The Ace: Can I sue for copyright infringement? The guy obviously thinks he's cool stealing my material, but ultimately he just comes off as stupid. But then what do you expect from a a Sexy Jason fan? Jason is old news, I handed Jason his ass in that steel cage match months ago, you know some guys really need to catch up on their history. The truth is I think Jason doesn't want to get in the ring with me again and who could blame him? I mean I took his girl and I destroyed his World Title aspirations last time we met, what else can I do to the man? And I'm no stranger to being underestimated against odds like these, but the more I think about it, the more confident I am that this Sunday I will prevail and silence my critics for good.
Keybo: Here's hoping someone is silenced. Anyway, another anonymous question.. probably from the other tarded redneck. Ace, how does it feel to be the last guest on this crappy show run by Hobo She-man? Well since you're crap too, and you'll be losing your job, I guess it makes sense.
The Ace: You know I never thought I'd see the day when I'd even come close to having something in common with you Keybo, but here we are. We just keep going despite being underestimated most of the time and some no talent hacks trying to threaten our jobs and as for potentially being the last guy on your show, all I can say is well done for saving the best till last.
Keybo: Yeah, I mean we totally have nothing in common. I'm rich, talented and employed, and you're totally not a complete circumstance. You do realize you people can say No when I ask you on here. Stop acting like you're doing me any damn favors.
(Ace goes to reply, but Keybo just keeps talking.)
Keybo: That's all the time we have for this week, that smug bastard over there is The Ace, and I'm your awesome host Keybo Shabaz. This is the Pulse!, always remember..
Steel Chairs are fun..
Barbed Wire is a good time..
And always tip your waitress..
Good night.
("Everybody wants you" by Damone begins to play as Keybo stands up from the desk, throws his pen down on it and walks offstage. The Ace just sits there, watching.)
"Hey, join me again next week when I'll have all the weekly recap of Reborn and my predictions for next months title races! As always, need to contact me? Try:
TheShabaz@newchampionshipwrestling.com
Or Call the studio lines at 1-866-555-3737
And I'll see you here next week!"