Post by Mike Honcho on Aug 8, 2009 11:35:12 GMT -6
The scene opens in a crowded dojo. There are about 100 men of different shapes, sizes, colors, and creeds. They all have on a black karate gees with a big, red foot on the back. They are in perfect, single file rows with about two feet between each man. They stand in attention as suddenly a loud gong sound fills the dojo. From the darkness, Mike Honcho walks up to podium and addresses his Foot Soldiers.
MH: Thank you for volunteering to become a Foot Soldier in the Mike Honcho Army. You may notice that I will also refer to you as the “Honcho-teers” or the group of bad-asses that I pay to be bad-ass. As the final test to join the Honcho-teers, I need you to split up to groups of two and fight to the death. BEGIN!!!
The scene cuts to Mike walking back into his office with a brief case hand cuffed to both hands. He walks over to his business manager, Charles Foster, and grabs the bottle of Dr. Pepper that is being offered. He opens it and takes a drink as the brief case in his left hand clangs around.
Charles Foster: Honch… Why do you have two brief cases hand cuffed to you?
Mike: Don’t you get man? If some douche tries to steal the brief case that I stole from that dude then they don’t know which one to take. Plus they have to wonder, “Is one of those brief cases even the one with the title shot in it?” and the answer is… maybe…
Foster: Um… I guess that’s a good idea. Listen, as your Chief Financial Officer, I must implore you to reconsider this “Foot Army” or “Honcho-teers” that you have going. I know that the fans love you and are literally killing for you.
Honcho: What are you? Some sort of robot?
Charles: No, I’m just saying that…
Honcho-Man: ROBOT!!!
The CFO for Honcho gives up on that and goes on to the next thing on his agenda. He has pretty much became an executive baby sitter for the now filthy rich Honcho.
CF: Ok then… Let’s talk about your return to the wrestling ring. I must say that your latest actions could rub people the wrong way. In fact, I know that it vexed Cameron Corvis.
Honcho-Man: Who? I’ve never drank that before. Is it any good?
Charles: It’s not a drink. He’s a wrestler named Cameron Corvis… The guy who you stole the brief case from… The guy that claims he will find you… Ring any bells?
Mike:I don’t watch the “Cosby Show”. Sorry.
The now frustrated Foster just shakes his head in disgust. He throws his hands in the air and looks to his right.
CF: Can you talk to him.
Then a familiar voice rings out from behind a turned swivel chair. It’s the News.
News: I didn’t think that you would be able to handle the Stache. It’s more powerful then even he can comprend. So you just need to BACK OFF!!! ROBOT!!!
To avoid any further frustration, Charles Foster walks out of the office and leaves the old friends to themselves. It’s a bit of an awkward silence until News breaks it.
News: Did you see where that dude you face this weekend at Wired is also the guy you beat the crap out of and stole that brief case?
Mike: Yeah, I saw that. I’ll try and fit it into my schedule to beat the dog piss out of him again. I’m not worried though. He looks stupid and smells of bologna. Normally Bologna doesn’t smell so bad but he give that smell a bad name.
News: He said that he was going to find you and had what looked like an impressive dossier on you. I’m just saying you should be a little perturbed.
The Stache: I’m not scared of a pee on like him. Don’t he know who I are? Don’ t he know who I be?
Mike looks into the camera
Honcho: Look here bro-ham! I party like a rock star, look like a movie star, play like an all-star, screw like a porn star. Baby, I’m a superstar! You can see me posted at the bar, always with a couple of broads because I’m just that raw. You can check my resume, I hit something everyday! Ask around and they’ll say that the Stache runs the USA.
You want to know why I took your brief case? Because you don’t deserve it. You cry about “I work too hard!” and “I’ve worked too long!”… Do you know how many people have said that over the years? Hell, I’ve said it homes. So I’ll give you a pass this time. But don’t let it happen again.
But back to why I took this (holds up both brief cases). I was not invited to the party so I figured “Hey, Mike Honcho likes to party, so lets party”. Long story short homes, I’m better than you so I took it. You couldn’t stop me then, and you won’t stop me at Wired. When I hit you with the Magic Trick, I’ll be sure to read you a bed time story before you go to sleep… Abracadabra homes…
The scene fades to black
MH: Thank you for volunteering to become a Foot Soldier in the Mike Honcho Army. You may notice that I will also refer to you as the “Honcho-teers” or the group of bad-asses that I pay to be bad-ass. As the final test to join the Honcho-teers, I need you to split up to groups of two and fight to the death. BEGIN!!!
The scene cuts to Mike walking back into his office with a brief case hand cuffed to both hands. He walks over to his business manager, Charles Foster, and grabs the bottle of Dr. Pepper that is being offered. He opens it and takes a drink as the brief case in his left hand clangs around.
Charles Foster: Honch… Why do you have two brief cases hand cuffed to you?
Mike: Don’t you get man? If some douche tries to steal the brief case that I stole from that dude then they don’t know which one to take. Plus they have to wonder, “Is one of those brief cases even the one with the title shot in it?” and the answer is… maybe…
Foster: Um… I guess that’s a good idea. Listen, as your Chief Financial Officer, I must implore you to reconsider this “Foot Army” or “Honcho-teers” that you have going. I know that the fans love you and are literally killing for you.
Honcho: What are you? Some sort of robot?
Charles: No, I’m just saying that…
Honcho-Man: ROBOT!!!
The CFO for Honcho gives up on that and goes on to the next thing on his agenda. He has pretty much became an executive baby sitter for the now filthy rich Honcho.
CF: Ok then… Let’s talk about your return to the wrestling ring. I must say that your latest actions could rub people the wrong way. In fact, I know that it vexed Cameron Corvis.
Honcho-Man: Who? I’ve never drank that before. Is it any good?
Charles: It’s not a drink. He’s a wrestler named Cameron Corvis… The guy who you stole the brief case from… The guy that claims he will find you… Ring any bells?
Mike:I don’t watch the “Cosby Show”. Sorry.
The now frustrated Foster just shakes his head in disgust. He throws his hands in the air and looks to his right.
CF: Can you talk to him.
Then a familiar voice rings out from behind a turned swivel chair. It’s the News.
News: I didn’t think that you would be able to handle the Stache. It’s more powerful then even he can comprend. So you just need to BACK OFF!!! ROBOT!!!
To avoid any further frustration, Charles Foster walks out of the office and leaves the old friends to themselves. It’s a bit of an awkward silence until News breaks it.
News: Did you see where that dude you face this weekend at Wired is also the guy you beat the crap out of and stole that brief case?
Mike: Yeah, I saw that. I’ll try and fit it into my schedule to beat the dog piss out of him again. I’m not worried though. He looks stupid and smells of bologna. Normally Bologna doesn’t smell so bad but he give that smell a bad name.
News: He said that he was going to find you and had what looked like an impressive dossier on you. I’m just saying you should be a little perturbed.
The Stache: I’m not scared of a pee on like him. Don’t he know who I are? Don’ t he know who I be?
Mike looks into the camera
Honcho: Look here bro-ham! I party like a rock star, look like a movie star, play like an all-star, screw like a porn star. Baby, I’m a superstar! You can see me posted at the bar, always with a couple of broads because I’m just that raw. You can check my resume, I hit something everyday! Ask around and they’ll say that the Stache runs the USA.
You want to know why I took your brief case? Because you don’t deserve it. You cry about “I work too hard!” and “I’ve worked too long!”… Do you know how many people have said that over the years? Hell, I’ve said it homes. So I’ll give you a pass this time. But don’t let it happen again.
But back to why I took this (holds up both brief cases). I was not invited to the party so I figured “Hey, Mike Honcho likes to party, so lets party”. Long story short homes, I’m better than you so I took it. You couldn’t stop me then, and you won’t stop me at Wired. When I hit you with the Magic Trick, I’ll be sure to read you a bed time story before you go to sleep… Abracadabra homes…
The scene fades to black