Post by Jabari Woodhead on Aug 8, 2009 12:59:37 GMT -6
*Enter Fergus Callaghan and Monty Scotty sitting in a hotel room in Memphis Tennessee. Fergus is holding a half empty bottle of whiskey and Monty is has a bottle of water*
Monty: I'm kind of surprised that Bryten hasn't done another promo to bitch at us for making fun of his SUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR long first promo.
Fergus: I'm sure he would have had it out by now but he is probably only a quarter of the way through taping it. Mostly because he is a ****ty actor and is probably having to do more than one take on a lot of the scenes and then he has to go through it and put in the stupid Hollywood special effects and ****.
Monty: When do you think he will have it out?
Fergus: I bet by 2050.
Monty: That is quite a ways from now.
Fergus: I know. I'm sure he will probably miss his match with me unless he can pull himself away from the promo about me to actually step into the ring with me.
Monty: True. Do you think you should be drinking this early in the day?
Fergus: This isn't the first drink I've had today.
*Flashback to 7 a.m Memphis time. Fergus and Monty are sitting at a table in a restaurant. Eggs and bacon and toast sit in front of both men*
Monty: Where is your drink?
Fergus: I haven't gotten it yet.
Monty: What did you get?
Fergus: Orange Juice....
*The waitress sets the orange juice done for Fergus*
Waitress: Here is your drink.
Fergus: Thank you.
*The flashback ends*
Monty: Wait, what was in that juice?
Fergus: Vodka.
Monty: You really have a drinking problem don't you?
Fergus: I do not have a drinking problem. I figured out that I do everything better when I drink more.
Monty: That's a lie. You were ****faced last week and you lost?
Fergus: Wrong my dear Monty. I wasn't ****faced enough. If I had drunk probably 2 more bottles of whiskey or half a bottle of Everclear I would have been so good last week. I would have won the match and I wouldn't be facing this stuck up pre-Madonna waste of space and money punk this week.
Monty: Yeah. You could have been wrestling for a championship this week.
Fergus: Yeah and the worst case happened. Corvis won the match giving The Forgotten another title possibility.
Monty: Yeah but you can't dwell on the past. We need to look forward. We need to go out and beat Bryten Bourne and then face whoever you have to face next week.
*Fergus has turned away from Monty and is sitting watching TV*
Monty: Did you even hear a word I said?
Fergus: Yeah...something about not dwelling on the past and you not being able to get laid.
Monty: I didn't say anything about me not getting laid.
Fergus: I know but your wife called me drunkenly last night asking if I could "Hang out."
Monty: You know that's bull****. I was with you all night and you didn't get one phone call or text message.
Fergus: I know man. Take it easy I was just joking. You really need to chill the **** out.
Monty: Or maybe you need to learn to not drink at 1:30 in the afternoon.
Fergus: Hey it's 5 o'clock somewhere.
Monty: Where?
Fergus: It's 6:30 in Ireland right now.
Monty: Yeah but it’s not here. Now give me the bottle.
Fergus: Hell No.
*Fergus takes a big drink from the bottle*
Fergus: You can take it when you pry it from my cold dead hands!
Monty: If you keep drinking like you do then you will die soon.
Fergus: No I won't. My dad drank like this and he is still alive and kicking and he is 65 and he hasn't been sick or had any health problems.
Monty: He is lucky. Just because your dad can do it doesn't mean you can do it.
Fergus: I don't look at it as alcohol. I look at it as talent juice. The more I drink the better I do. So I got to get ****ing hammered before I face Bryten.
Monty: Okay. I will let you get hammered before the match so we can see. If you lose then you won’t drink before matches. If you win then I will give you even more booze for next week.
Fergus: Woooo HOOOO!
*Fergus finishes off the bottle of whiskey. Fergus and Monty leave the hotel room and get into his car. He puts in a CD and puts it on random. Lost in Hollywood by System of a Down starts to play as Fergus and Monty Drive away. The scene fades to black*
Monty: I'm kind of surprised that Bryten hasn't done another promo to bitch at us for making fun of his SUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR long first promo.
Fergus: I'm sure he would have had it out by now but he is probably only a quarter of the way through taping it. Mostly because he is a ****ty actor and is probably having to do more than one take on a lot of the scenes and then he has to go through it and put in the stupid Hollywood special effects and ****.
Monty: When do you think he will have it out?
Fergus: I bet by 2050.
Monty: That is quite a ways from now.
Fergus: I know. I'm sure he will probably miss his match with me unless he can pull himself away from the promo about me to actually step into the ring with me.
Monty: True. Do you think you should be drinking this early in the day?
Fergus: This isn't the first drink I've had today.
*Flashback to 7 a.m Memphis time. Fergus and Monty are sitting at a table in a restaurant. Eggs and bacon and toast sit in front of both men*
Monty: Where is your drink?
Fergus: I haven't gotten it yet.
Monty: What did you get?
Fergus: Orange Juice....
*The waitress sets the orange juice done for Fergus*
Waitress: Here is your drink.
Fergus: Thank you.
*The flashback ends*
Monty: Wait, what was in that juice?
Fergus: Vodka.
Monty: You really have a drinking problem don't you?
Fergus: I do not have a drinking problem. I figured out that I do everything better when I drink more.
Monty: That's a lie. You were ****faced last week and you lost?
Fergus: Wrong my dear Monty. I wasn't ****faced enough. If I had drunk probably 2 more bottles of whiskey or half a bottle of Everclear I would have been so good last week. I would have won the match and I wouldn't be facing this stuck up pre-Madonna waste of space and money punk this week.
Monty: Yeah. You could have been wrestling for a championship this week.
Fergus: Yeah and the worst case happened. Corvis won the match giving The Forgotten another title possibility.
Monty: Yeah but you can't dwell on the past. We need to look forward. We need to go out and beat Bryten Bourne and then face whoever you have to face next week.
*Fergus has turned away from Monty and is sitting watching TV*
Monty: Did you even hear a word I said?
Fergus: Yeah...something about not dwelling on the past and you not being able to get laid.
Monty: I didn't say anything about me not getting laid.
Fergus: I know but your wife called me drunkenly last night asking if I could "Hang out."
Monty: You know that's bull****. I was with you all night and you didn't get one phone call or text message.
Fergus: I know man. Take it easy I was just joking. You really need to chill the **** out.
Monty: Or maybe you need to learn to not drink at 1:30 in the afternoon.
Fergus: Hey it's 5 o'clock somewhere.
Monty: Where?
Fergus: It's 6:30 in Ireland right now.
Monty: Yeah but it’s not here. Now give me the bottle.
Fergus: Hell No.
*Fergus takes a big drink from the bottle*
Fergus: You can take it when you pry it from my cold dead hands!
Monty: If you keep drinking like you do then you will die soon.
Fergus: No I won't. My dad drank like this and he is still alive and kicking and he is 65 and he hasn't been sick or had any health problems.
Monty: He is lucky. Just because your dad can do it doesn't mean you can do it.
Fergus: I don't look at it as alcohol. I look at it as talent juice. The more I drink the better I do. So I got to get ****ing hammered before I face Bryten.
Monty: Okay. I will let you get hammered before the match so we can see. If you lose then you won’t drink before matches. If you win then I will give you even more booze for next week.
Fergus: Woooo HOOOO!
*Fergus finishes off the bottle of whiskey. Fergus and Monty leave the hotel room and get into his car. He puts in a CD and puts it on random. Lost in Hollywood by System of a Down starts to play as Fergus and Monty Drive away. The scene fades to black*
Lost in Hollywood by System of a Down
I'll wait here,
You're crazy,
Those vicious streets are filled with strays,
You should have never gone to Hollywood.
They find you,
Two time you,
Say you're the best they've ever seen,
You should have never trusted Hollywood.
I wrote you,
And told you,
You were the biggest fish out here,
You should have never gone to Hollywood.
They take you,
And make you,
They look at you in disgusting ways,
You should have never trusted Hollywood.
[Serj moans "now"]
I was standing on the wall,
Feeling ten feet tall,
All you maggots smoking fags on Santa Monica Boulevard,
This is my front page,
This is my new age,
All you bitches put your hands in the air and wave them like you just don't care.
All you maggots smoking fags out there on Sunset Boulevard.
All you bitches put your hands in the air and wave them like you just don't care.
Phony people come to pray,
Look at all of them beg to stay,
Phony people come to pray.
[The lines in the letter said "We have gone to Hackensack"]
Look at all of them beg to stay,
Phony people come to pray.
All you maggots smoking fags on Santa Monica Boulevard,
All you maggots smoking fags out there on Sunset Boulevard.
All you maggots smoking fags out there on Hollywood Boulevard.
You should have never trusted Hollywood.
You should have never gone to Hollywood.
All you bitches put your hands in the air and wave them like you just don't care.
You should have never trusted Hollywood.
You're crazy,
Those vicious streets are filled with strays,
You should have never gone to Hollywood.
They find you,
Two time you,
Say you're the best they've ever seen,
You should have never trusted Hollywood.
I wrote you,
And told you,
You were the biggest fish out here,
You should have never gone to Hollywood.
They take you,
And make you,
They look at you in disgusting ways,
You should have never trusted Hollywood.
[Serj moans "now"]
I was standing on the wall,
Feeling ten feet tall,
All you maggots smoking fags on Santa Monica Boulevard,
This is my front page,
This is my new age,
All you bitches put your hands in the air and wave them like you just don't care.
All you maggots smoking fags out there on Sunset Boulevard.
All you bitches put your hands in the air and wave them like you just don't care.
Phony people come to pray,
Look at all of them beg to stay,
Phony people come to pray.
[The lines in the letter said "We have gone to Hackensack"]
Look at all of them beg to stay,
Phony people come to pray.
All you maggots smoking fags on Santa Monica Boulevard,
All you maggots smoking fags out there on Sunset Boulevard.
All you maggots smoking fags out there on Hollywood Boulevard.
You should have never trusted Hollywood.
You should have never gone to Hollywood.
All you bitches put your hands in the air and wave them like you just don't care.
You should have never trusted Hollywood.