Post by Nick Logan on Aug 8, 2009 13:20:23 GMT -6
(The scene fades in on the front door to the Penthouse Suite of the Memphis Hilton. A hand reaches up and bangs on the door. A few seconds go by and no response. He beats on the door again, no response. He beats on it a third time, and Nick Logan swings the door open)
WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUCK!
JW Whittle - SURPRISE! Rise and Shine jackass!
What the hell are you doing here?
JW Whittle - I figured you boys needed a hand this week.
Get your ass in here, brother!
(JW walks in, and he and Nick "man hug" as the door closes. Nick walks over to the bed and sits down on the edge. Mac Bane comes from the other bedroom with his hair all in a mess, and a not so happy look on his face.)
Mac Bane - What asshole was banging on the damn door at 7 in the morning?
(He turns the corner to see JW there with his big smile on his face.)
JW Whittle - Nice to see you too, Mac.
Mac Bane - You son of a gun! I didn't think you were gonna make it.
JW Whittle - Yeah, me either. But here I am just the same. They got a mean breakfast buffet going downstairs. Why dont you two lazy asses get dressed and lets grab some grub.
(They all three laugh and the scene fades as the two throw on some clothes. They all go downstairs and into the dining room of the hotel. There is a huge breakfast buffett. They go through the line, loading up their plates and go and sit at a large circular table. As they sit down, a waitress asks what they would like to drink. They place their orders and she fetches their drinks.)
JW Whittle - Damn, Nick. You get enough pancakes, buddy?
Hell no! I love pancakes. Pancakes are yummy.
Mac Bane - They call those hotcakes where I come from.
I don't care. They are pancakes. Or hotcakes. Hell, you could call them fat crepes if you want.
JW Whittle - Crepes are totally different.
Look, it doesn't matter what you call them. They are good eatin.
Mac Bane - But not without butter and syrup.
....
Mac Bane - What?
What's on your plate, smart ass? Five big pieces of sausage? Man, there are a whole lot of metaphors in there that I don't even want to think about.
Mac Bane - ......
Oh, it's OK for you to jack with my pancakes, but I can't point out that all you got on your plate was MEAT?
Mac Bane - I love sausage, Nick!
JW Whittle - Good thing you didn't say you love Nick's sausage!
(All three men laugh as the waitress drops their drinks off. Nick looks at his plate and snickers a little bit.)
JW Whittle - What are you laughing at?
I was thinking that this match Mac and I are in this week is a lot like pancakes.
Mac Bane - What the hell?
It's a good match with the Hamster and Joe Behotch. (Grabbing the butter and spreads it with a knife) but when you add BUTTER! (pointing at Mac Bane) It gets that much better! (Grabbing the container of syrup) Then when you add syrup (pointing to himself) It becomes great!
JW Whittle - Then what?
(Cutting into them with his fork and taking a bite) Then we eat their sorry asses for breakfast!
Mac Bane - You ate their asses for breakfast?
Better than eating their sausage!
(JW cracks up laughing as both men eye each other for a moment. They both start to laugh and enjoy the rest of their breakfast. They sit around talking for a few moments before JW excuses himself to go to the restroom. Mac runs to the gift shop for some post cards. Nick sits there a moment, pondering this week's match and looks directly into the camera.)
You know, boys, last week was a fluke. An outright fluke. Joe, you pinned me. You did it, and I can't run from it. It happened. But I can tell you it won't happen again. It won't happen EVER again. I know you have been silent all week, and I can tell you that's how most people around nCw like it. Nobody wants to hear you flapping your gums about how awesome you are, and generally being a dick to everyone. It get's kind of annoying after a while, especially from a super under achiever like you. I think the best thing for you guys to do is just not even show up. Seriously, because the last thing you guys want to do is get in the ring with Mac and I. This week we are hungry. We are determined, and we are going to dismantle you two piece by piece. You have your nice little "talk show" Spotlight on America or whatever. It should be Spotlight on a Jackass if you ask me. You see, you want to run your mouth, talk this and that, and the bottom line is, you are just avoiding the inevitable. But hey, if you want to live in denial, then by all means, go right ahead. Mac and I will see you at Fallout, and in the end, it will be the Syndicate standing on top.
(Nick laughs and gets up as Mac and JW return. They throw a 20 on the table and walk off as the scene fades to black.)
WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUCK!
JW Whittle - SURPRISE! Rise and Shine jackass!
What the hell are you doing here?
JW Whittle - I figured you boys needed a hand this week.
Get your ass in here, brother!
(JW walks in, and he and Nick "man hug" as the door closes. Nick walks over to the bed and sits down on the edge. Mac Bane comes from the other bedroom with his hair all in a mess, and a not so happy look on his face.)
Mac Bane - What asshole was banging on the damn door at 7 in the morning?
(He turns the corner to see JW there with his big smile on his face.)
JW Whittle - Nice to see you too, Mac.
Mac Bane - You son of a gun! I didn't think you were gonna make it.
JW Whittle - Yeah, me either. But here I am just the same. They got a mean breakfast buffet going downstairs. Why dont you two lazy asses get dressed and lets grab some grub.
(They all three laugh and the scene fades as the two throw on some clothes. They all go downstairs and into the dining room of the hotel. There is a huge breakfast buffett. They go through the line, loading up their plates and go and sit at a large circular table. As they sit down, a waitress asks what they would like to drink. They place their orders and she fetches their drinks.)
JW Whittle - Damn, Nick. You get enough pancakes, buddy?
Hell no! I love pancakes. Pancakes are yummy.
Mac Bane - They call those hotcakes where I come from.
I don't care. They are pancakes. Or hotcakes. Hell, you could call them fat crepes if you want.
JW Whittle - Crepes are totally different.
Look, it doesn't matter what you call them. They are good eatin.
Mac Bane - But not without butter and syrup.
....
Mac Bane - What?
What's on your plate, smart ass? Five big pieces of sausage? Man, there are a whole lot of metaphors in there that I don't even want to think about.
Mac Bane - ......
Oh, it's OK for you to jack with my pancakes, but I can't point out that all you got on your plate was MEAT?
Mac Bane - I love sausage, Nick!
JW Whittle - Good thing you didn't say you love Nick's sausage!
(All three men laugh as the waitress drops their drinks off. Nick looks at his plate and snickers a little bit.)
JW Whittle - What are you laughing at?
I was thinking that this match Mac and I are in this week is a lot like pancakes.
Mac Bane - What the hell?
It's a good match with the Hamster and Joe Behotch. (Grabbing the butter and spreads it with a knife) but when you add BUTTER! (pointing at Mac Bane) It gets that much better! (Grabbing the container of syrup) Then when you add syrup (pointing to himself) It becomes great!
JW Whittle - Then what?
(Cutting into them with his fork and taking a bite) Then we eat their sorry asses for breakfast!
Mac Bane - You ate their asses for breakfast?
Better than eating their sausage!
(JW cracks up laughing as both men eye each other for a moment. They both start to laugh and enjoy the rest of their breakfast. They sit around talking for a few moments before JW excuses himself to go to the restroom. Mac runs to the gift shop for some post cards. Nick sits there a moment, pondering this week's match and looks directly into the camera.)
You know, boys, last week was a fluke. An outright fluke. Joe, you pinned me. You did it, and I can't run from it. It happened. But I can tell you it won't happen again. It won't happen EVER again. I know you have been silent all week, and I can tell you that's how most people around nCw like it. Nobody wants to hear you flapping your gums about how awesome you are, and generally being a dick to everyone. It get's kind of annoying after a while, especially from a super under achiever like you. I think the best thing for you guys to do is just not even show up. Seriously, because the last thing you guys want to do is get in the ring with Mac and I. This week we are hungry. We are determined, and we are going to dismantle you two piece by piece. You have your nice little "talk show" Spotlight on America or whatever. It should be Spotlight on a Jackass if you ask me. You see, you want to run your mouth, talk this and that, and the bottom line is, you are just avoiding the inevitable. But hey, if you want to live in denial, then by all means, go right ahead. Mac and I will see you at Fallout, and in the end, it will be the Syndicate standing on top.
(Nick laughs and gets up as Mac and JW return. They throw a 20 on the table and walk off as the scene fades to black.)