Post by Keybo Shabaz on Aug 12, 2009 16:40:36 GMT -6
(No flashy opening, no cute graphics, just Keybo Shabaz, sitting behind a standard desk you can buy at Ikea, in a room that could be anywhere, there isn't even a couch to sit on. He's looking pretty annoyed and disheveled. We open with a slow clap, a long, condescending, slow clap.)
Keybo: Dirty Deal finally managed to luck their way into being the Tag champs. It's amazing that even retards like they can find someone else's bull**** tolerance and keep picking at them until they break. Congratulations boys, it took you several tries you didn't deserve, but you got it.
Other than that, Fallout was as impressive as it was promised to be, as is all of this companys pay-per-views. From Wired to the Main event, non stop action and wall to wall excitement. Come on, you expected anything less? Shame on you.
Wired
Cameron Corvis vs Mike Honcho
Briefcase on a Pole Match
Keybo: Cheaters never prosper and thieves never get what they want. Sorry Honch, but you can't just take whatever you want and get away with it. Not here anyway.
Cameron Corvis 1-0
Gabriel Karras vs Daredevil
Xtreme Rules
Keybo: There's apparently more to this priest than I give him credit for. He took everything Daredevil dished out and gave it back in spades, and a theological debate became a great wrestling match.
Daredevil 1-1
Bryten Bourne vs Fergus Callaghan
Keybo: As I said, success in Hollywood does not mean auto success in wrestling. But he has the promise to stay around, and with a lot of training and a little bit of luck, he'll turn out just fine.
Fergus Callghan 2-1
Fallout
Joe Everyman and Jack Hammond vs Nick Logan and Mac Bane
Keybo: Just goes to show you that you can't just put two talented wrestlers together and expect gold to happen. You got your wish trying to hide behind Hammy, Joe, and it turned and bit you in the ass.
Logan and Mac Bane 3-1
Rob Diamond (c) vs Chris Brock vs Xavier Williams
nCw X Division title match
Keybo: For as much of a douche Diamond appears to be, he's still a good wrestler. Why he feels the need to groin shot all his competition is beyond me, but I can't stop him from being an ass.
Rob Diamond 4-1
The Ace vs Jimmy Zane
Natural Selection Match
Keybo: It goes to show that you can be too confident. The Ace had everything he thought he needed, the upper hand, his specialty match, the mental edge, and it wasn't enough to put down the determined Jimmy Zane.
Jimmy Zane 5-1
Jackhammer (c) vs Sexy Jason
nCw Xtreme title Junkyard match
Keybo: Sexy Jason corrected what may have been a mistake, at least a mistake in his eyes. And he now sits on top of the Xtreme Division as the first 3 time belt holder.
Jackhammer 5-2
Falcon vs Dark Prophet
No Limits Ladder match
Keybo: Falcon now stands at the forefront of the battlefield, waiting to see which man he shall attempt to dethrone as champion.
Falcon 6-2
Burning Angels (c) vs Dirty Deal
nCw Tag Team title Lynch Mob match
Keybo: They finally did it. They kept poking at Angel and Burns until one of them broke, and unfortunately for Phil, it was him. Now not only has he lost his tag strap, but apparently lost a friend as well. R.I.P. Burning Angels.
Burning Angels 6-3
Steve Awesome (c) vs Spike Kane
nCw National title match
Keybo: Steve and Spike almost stole the show, easily giving the people one of the top ten matches of recent memory. And when the smoke cleared the Awesome one managed to dig down and find the heart to withstand the God of Xtreme and retain the National title.
Steve Awesome 7-3
Adam Knite (c) vs Kristoff Liam Bates
nCw World Heavyweight title match
Keybo: And the King stands tall again. Kristoff gave it his all, but his lack of ring expertise showed through and he just fell short. Now Adam moves onto Battlegrounds and his next challenge, Falcon.
Kristoff Liam Bates 7-4
Week: 7-4
2009: 134-83
Keybo: Suspense is back! For the first time in well over a year, Suspense returns to the airwaves as a podcast on Friday nights. Let's go N C Dub!
Bryton Bourne vs Mark Murder
Keybo: The Hollywood kid takes on an unknown enigma in Mark Murder. Nothing like testing the new kid early.
Bryton Bourne
Seth Evans vs Freakke the Clown
Keybo: nCw has a knack for attracting high priced free agents from other promotions, we also have a knack for attracting talent from virtually anywhere. Both get their chance to make a great first impression on your mobile devices.
Seth Evans
Gabriel Karras vs Chris Brock
Keybo: The priest takes on his biggest challenge in the form of X Division contender Chris Brock. Brock will be looking to get back on the saddle, and shutting up a loudmouth priest will go a long way.
Chris Brock
Keybo: And that's it for the redebut episode of Suspense. A day later we invade your TV screens and present to you.. Trauma.. live and in color.
Tommy Victor and Xavier Cross vs Nathan Doe and Kevin Hardaway
Keybo: Right out the gate we see if any of these four men are team players. Can four strangers get along in a volatile business? We'll wait and see.
Victor and Cross
Mike Honcho vs Daredevil
Keybo: Both are coming off tough matches on Wired, and both will be looking to make a statement. Honcho will want to be remembered, and Daredevil will want to make himself known. Unfortunately, only happens for one..
Daredevil
Xavier Williams vs Cameron Corvis
Keybo: Cam had a big win at Fallout, recovering his title briefcase. Now he faces a big challenge in the X man, who is beginning his resurgance, and he doesn't care against who.
Cameron Corvis
Brad Kane vs Fergus Callaghan
Keybo: This isn't fair. Brad Kane, a former alchoholic, returns to the business and the first guy they put him up against is the one dude who drinks more on camera than Courtney Love. Not fair at all, and now Fergus has to pay the price.
Brad Kane
Keybo: Our preliminary assault on your television sets is over. But wait, that was just the feint of the frontal assault. Now the large force comes over the horizon, that Collision banner flying high.
Jackhammer vs Rob Diamond
Keybo: Hammer has shown again and again that he avenges his losses against whoever he faces next. Well, Diamond is a slippery one, and I wouldn't count out a kick to the balls on this one. Maybe we should call him Ortega V2.
Rob Diamond
Dirty Deal and Sexy Jason vs The Syndicate and Dark Prophet
Keybo:[/color] The Syndicate has been harping about deserving a tag title shot for some time now, I don't see why, but they're harping about it. Here's your chance, defeat Dirty Deal and you just might get it. Jason and Prophet will probably be more concerned with each other anyway.
Dirty Deal and Sexy Jason
Jimmy Zane vs Joe Everyman
Keybo:[/color] A week after taking a thumping from the Syndicates tag team, Everyman finds himself standing face to face with the leader. If Joe is going to keep making the statement about what he deserves, he's going to have to start showing something.
Jimmy Zane
Lance Ryan vs Jack Hammond vs The Ace
Keybo:[/color] Lance Ryan makes his return to an nCw ring, bringing his old school talent against two of the next gen World Champions. Has he kicked the rust completely off, or will one of the new blood solidify his position by defeating a legend on TV?
Lance Ryan
Adam Knite and Steve Awesome vs Falcon and Spike Kane vs Angel and Kristoff Liam Bates
Keybo:[/color] The World and National Champions team up to take on their biggest contenders and two other men also worthy of such a praise. Many relations have come and gone between these six men, and that makes this entirely unpredictable.
Angel and Bates
Keybo: And with that, we'd be done for the week. Another action packed week of wrestling greatness. And now, after Fallout, let's look at where the titles stand.
World Championship
Champion: Adam Knite
#1 Contender: Falcon
Dark Horse: Kristoff Liam Bates
Keybo: Falcon officially moves into the #1 spot after defeating Dark Prophet, but Bates' performance at Fallout showed that he can hang with the best of them. He just might get that itch for another go round.
National Championship
Champion: Steve Awesome
#1 Contender: Spike Kane
Dark Horse: Angel
Keybo: Steve Awesome got by Spike Kane once, but without another official contender, he retains that spot. But Angel is now removed from a tag team, and if he wants a title, this one might be right for him.
X Division Championship
Champion: Rob Diamond
#1 Contender: Jimmy Zane?
Dark Horse: Daredevil?
Keybo: Nothing is official for the X Division champ, but Jimmy Zane held that title once, and he's coming due for a reward. Also Daredevil has put in enough work to where he should be getting something. So, it's up for grabs, really.
Xtreme Championship
Champion: Sexy Jason
#1 Contender: Jackhammer
Dark Horse: Cameron Corvis
Keybo: Jackhammer, as a former champion, may be entitled a rematch, but Corvis has that briefcase, and if I know Cam, this is exactly where he intends to cash it in at.
Tag Team Championship
Champion: Dirty Deal
#1 Contender: The Syndicate
Dark Horse: Nobody
Keybo: Dirty Deal finally managed to pull off an upset against Angel and Burns, and at the same time, drove them apart. That puts a damper on our tag division until some of the new blood here decide to team up for the greater good.
Well, that's all my time.. Next week, I'll have another interview. And hopefully, a little more progress into getting my job back. Remember..
Steel Chairs are fun..
Barbed Wire is a good time..
And always tip your waitress..
I'm out..
"Hey, join me again next week when my guest in the studio will be the man with the master plan, Chris Diamond! Questions? Comments? Want to give him a neck massage? Send them in to:
TheShabaz@ncwentertainment.com
Or Call the studio lines at 1-866-555-3737
And I'll see you here next week!"
(You know the deal.)
Keybo: Dirty Deal finally managed to luck their way into being the Tag champs. It's amazing that even retards like they can find someone else's bull**** tolerance and keep picking at them until they break. Congratulations boys, it took you several tries you didn't deserve, but you got it.
Other than that, Fallout was as impressive as it was promised to be, as is all of this companys pay-per-views. From Wired to the Main event, non stop action and wall to wall excitement. Come on, you expected anything less? Shame on you.
Wired
Cameron Corvis vs Mike Honcho
Briefcase on a Pole Match
Keybo: Cheaters never prosper and thieves never get what they want. Sorry Honch, but you can't just take whatever you want and get away with it. Not here anyway.
Cameron Corvis 1-0
Gabriel Karras vs Daredevil
Xtreme Rules
Keybo: There's apparently more to this priest than I give him credit for. He took everything Daredevil dished out and gave it back in spades, and a theological debate became a great wrestling match.
Daredevil 1-1
Bryten Bourne vs Fergus Callaghan
Keybo: As I said, success in Hollywood does not mean auto success in wrestling. But he has the promise to stay around, and with a lot of training and a little bit of luck, he'll turn out just fine.
Fergus Callghan 2-1
Fallout
Joe Everyman and Jack Hammond vs Nick Logan and Mac Bane
Keybo: Just goes to show you that you can't just put two talented wrestlers together and expect gold to happen. You got your wish trying to hide behind Hammy, Joe, and it turned and bit you in the ass.
Logan and Mac Bane 3-1
Rob Diamond (c) vs Chris Brock vs Xavier Williams
nCw X Division title match
Keybo: For as much of a douche Diamond appears to be, he's still a good wrestler. Why he feels the need to groin shot all his competition is beyond me, but I can't stop him from being an ass.
Rob Diamond 4-1
The Ace vs Jimmy Zane
Natural Selection Match
Keybo: It goes to show that you can be too confident. The Ace had everything he thought he needed, the upper hand, his specialty match, the mental edge, and it wasn't enough to put down the determined Jimmy Zane.
Jimmy Zane 5-1
Jackhammer (c) vs Sexy Jason
nCw Xtreme title Junkyard match
Keybo: Sexy Jason corrected what may have been a mistake, at least a mistake in his eyes. And he now sits on top of the Xtreme Division as the first 3 time belt holder.
Jackhammer 5-2
Falcon vs Dark Prophet
No Limits Ladder match
Keybo: Falcon now stands at the forefront of the battlefield, waiting to see which man he shall attempt to dethrone as champion.
Falcon 6-2
Burning Angels (c) vs Dirty Deal
nCw Tag Team title Lynch Mob match
Keybo: They finally did it. They kept poking at Angel and Burns until one of them broke, and unfortunately for Phil, it was him. Now not only has he lost his tag strap, but apparently lost a friend as well. R.I.P. Burning Angels.
Burning Angels 6-3
Steve Awesome (c) vs Spike Kane
nCw National title match
Keybo: Steve and Spike almost stole the show, easily giving the people one of the top ten matches of recent memory. And when the smoke cleared the Awesome one managed to dig down and find the heart to withstand the God of Xtreme and retain the National title.
Steve Awesome 7-3
Adam Knite (c) vs Kristoff Liam Bates
nCw World Heavyweight title match
Keybo: And the King stands tall again. Kristoff gave it his all, but his lack of ring expertise showed through and he just fell short. Now Adam moves onto Battlegrounds and his next challenge, Falcon.
Kristoff Liam Bates 7-4
Week: 7-4
2009: 134-83
Keybo: Suspense is back! For the first time in well over a year, Suspense returns to the airwaves as a podcast on Friday nights. Let's go N C Dub!
Bryton Bourne vs Mark Murder
Keybo: The Hollywood kid takes on an unknown enigma in Mark Murder. Nothing like testing the new kid early.
Bryton Bourne
Seth Evans vs Freakke the Clown
Keybo: nCw has a knack for attracting high priced free agents from other promotions, we also have a knack for attracting talent from virtually anywhere. Both get their chance to make a great first impression on your mobile devices.
Seth Evans
Gabriel Karras vs Chris Brock
Keybo: The priest takes on his biggest challenge in the form of X Division contender Chris Brock. Brock will be looking to get back on the saddle, and shutting up a loudmouth priest will go a long way.
Chris Brock
Keybo: And that's it for the redebut episode of Suspense. A day later we invade your TV screens and present to you.. Trauma.. live and in color.
Tommy Victor and Xavier Cross vs Nathan Doe and Kevin Hardaway
Keybo: Right out the gate we see if any of these four men are team players. Can four strangers get along in a volatile business? We'll wait and see.
Victor and Cross
Mike Honcho vs Daredevil
Keybo: Both are coming off tough matches on Wired, and both will be looking to make a statement. Honcho will want to be remembered, and Daredevil will want to make himself known. Unfortunately, only happens for one..
Daredevil
Xavier Williams vs Cameron Corvis
Keybo: Cam had a big win at Fallout, recovering his title briefcase. Now he faces a big challenge in the X man, who is beginning his resurgance, and he doesn't care against who.
Cameron Corvis
Brad Kane vs Fergus Callaghan
Keybo: This isn't fair. Brad Kane, a former alchoholic, returns to the business and the first guy they put him up against is the one dude who drinks more on camera than Courtney Love. Not fair at all, and now Fergus has to pay the price.
Brad Kane
Keybo: Our preliminary assault on your television sets is over. But wait, that was just the feint of the frontal assault. Now the large force comes over the horizon, that Collision banner flying high.
Jackhammer vs Rob Diamond
Keybo: Hammer has shown again and again that he avenges his losses against whoever he faces next. Well, Diamond is a slippery one, and I wouldn't count out a kick to the balls on this one. Maybe we should call him Ortega V2.
Rob Diamond
Dirty Deal and Sexy Jason vs The Syndicate and Dark Prophet
Keybo:[/color] The Syndicate has been harping about deserving a tag title shot for some time now, I don't see why, but they're harping about it. Here's your chance, defeat Dirty Deal and you just might get it. Jason and Prophet will probably be more concerned with each other anyway.
Dirty Deal and Sexy Jason
Jimmy Zane vs Joe Everyman
Keybo:[/color] A week after taking a thumping from the Syndicates tag team, Everyman finds himself standing face to face with the leader. If Joe is going to keep making the statement about what he deserves, he's going to have to start showing something.
Jimmy Zane
Lance Ryan vs Jack Hammond vs The Ace
Keybo:[/color] Lance Ryan makes his return to an nCw ring, bringing his old school talent against two of the next gen World Champions. Has he kicked the rust completely off, or will one of the new blood solidify his position by defeating a legend on TV?
Lance Ryan
Adam Knite and Steve Awesome vs Falcon and Spike Kane vs Angel and Kristoff Liam Bates
Keybo:[/color] The World and National Champions team up to take on their biggest contenders and two other men also worthy of such a praise. Many relations have come and gone between these six men, and that makes this entirely unpredictable.
Angel and Bates
Keybo: And with that, we'd be done for the week. Another action packed week of wrestling greatness. And now, after Fallout, let's look at where the titles stand.
World Championship
Champion: Adam Knite
#1 Contender: Falcon
Dark Horse: Kristoff Liam Bates
Keybo: Falcon officially moves into the #1 spot after defeating Dark Prophet, but Bates' performance at Fallout showed that he can hang with the best of them. He just might get that itch for another go round.
National Championship
Champion: Steve Awesome
#1 Contender: Spike Kane
Dark Horse: Angel
Keybo: Steve Awesome got by Spike Kane once, but without another official contender, he retains that spot. But Angel is now removed from a tag team, and if he wants a title, this one might be right for him.
X Division Championship
Champion: Rob Diamond
#1 Contender: Jimmy Zane?
Dark Horse: Daredevil?
Keybo: Nothing is official for the X Division champ, but Jimmy Zane held that title once, and he's coming due for a reward. Also Daredevil has put in enough work to where he should be getting something. So, it's up for grabs, really.
Xtreme Championship
Champion: Sexy Jason
#1 Contender: Jackhammer
Dark Horse: Cameron Corvis
Keybo: Jackhammer, as a former champion, may be entitled a rematch, but Corvis has that briefcase, and if I know Cam, this is exactly where he intends to cash it in at.
Tag Team Championship
Champion: Dirty Deal
#1 Contender: The Syndicate
Dark Horse: Nobody
Keybo: Dirty Deal finally managed to pull off an upset against Angel and Burns, and at the same time, drove them apart. That puts a damper on our tag division until some of the new blood here decide to team up for the greater good.
Well, that's all my time.. Next week, I'll have another interview. And hopefully, a little more progress into getting my job back. Remember..
Steel Chairs are fun..
Barbed Wire is a good time..
And always tip your waitress..
I'm out..
"Hey, join me again next week when my guest in the studio will be the man with the master plan, Chris Diamond! Questions? Comments? Want to give him a neck massage? Send them in to:
TheShabaz@ncwentertainment.com
Or Call the studio lines at 1-866-555-3737
And I'll see you here next week!"
(You know the deal.)