Post by Jabari Woodhead on Aug 21, 2009 22:36:35 GMT -6
*A disclaimer is shown*
*The scene then opens up with Fergus and Monty. Fergus is wearing a spandex superhero suit. The suit is black and green and has "BM" on the chest. His mask consists of having beer mugs for eye holes*
Monty: What the hell are you wearing?
Fergus: I am wearing my new superhero suit.
Monty: God that concussion is really affecting you. You haven't been drinking have you?
*The camera pans to Fergus who has just finished drinking a beer*
Fergus: mmmm beer.
Monty: damn it Fergus. The doctor told you not to drink.
Fergus: Did he really?
*Flashback to Fergus and Monty in the doctor’s office. Fergus has a big bandage on his forehead*
Doctor: Okay, Mr. Callaghan you have a pretty good concussion from your match with Brad Kane. You need to make sure that you don't drink.
Fergus: Okay.
*The Flashback ends*
Fergus: Bull****. I would never turn down beer plus I thought that was a dream anyway. A really terrible dream.
*Close up on Monty*
Monty: It wasn't a dream. It was reality. You can't drink or it could kill you.
*The camera pans over Fergus who is now doing a beer bong with a couple of frat guys*
Fergus: Thanks guys. That really hit the spot.
Frat Guy 1: Yeah man. You gonna have to come party with us...um....what’s your name?
Fergus: Beer Man.
Frat Guy 2: Badass name.
*The two frat guys walk away. Monty slaps Fergus in the head*
Fergus: Don't do that you stupid ass. You could kill me.
Monty: No I can't. You are drinking and not supposed too. You are going to kill you.
Fergus: No.
Monty: Yes. Now we need to be serious so take off the stupid costume.
Fergus: Fine.
*Fergus walks off camera and puts on his normal clothes. He comes back onto screen*
Fergus: Is this better your royal highnass.
Monty: Yes. Now we need to get you focused on the task at hand so I invited Scotty to be here.
*Scotty walks on camera now. Fergus starts laughing*
Scotty Callaway: What’s so funny?
Fergus: You.
Scotty: Why?
Fergus: Because you were scared of Mark Evil.
Scotty: Don't even give me that ****. He was the scariest dude in this place. He makes Dark Prophet look like a kindergartener.
Fergus: Man I'm glad I didn't face that guy.
Scotty: Yeah. You would have died.
Fergus: You do remember that you brought that upon yourself right?
Scotty: I know but he is dead and gone now.
*Fergus and Monty look at each other*
Fergus: He has a son you know.
Scotty: ****!
Fergus: Yeah. So what do you bring to this team?
Scotty: Um...I have a hot girlfriend?
Monty: That is a true story. She is smoking hot.
Fergus: I would like to break me off a piece of that.
Scotty: Hey don't say things like that about my girlfriend.
Fergus: Fine. What else do you bring to this team?
Scotty: I used to team up with Joe Everyman.
*Fergus and Monty groan*
Fergus: Well I quit. This team is ****ed. We might as well of gone out and picked a special Olympian or Mark Evil's urn.
Monty: Yeah. I'll take a retard over Scotty it seems.
Scotty: I'm still standing here guys.
Fergus: We know. What are we gonna do with him?
Monty: Steroids?
*Fergus and Monty look at Scotty and then back to each other*
Fergus: Do we really want to make his balls any smaller?
Monty: Yeah I'm sure that won’t sit well with Amber.
*Fergus and Monty look back at Scotty again who is glaring at Fergus and Monty*
Fergus: Maybe Scotty can just be good enough to help us beat Xavier and Karras.
Scotty: We are facing the blackest World Champion ever?
Fergus: Um...
Scotty: God I hate that KFC eating, purple drink guzzling asshole.
Fergus: Um...Scotty. We are facing Xavier Cross not Xavier Williams.
Scotty: Oh...
Fergus: Jesus, if I have a concussion and knew which Xavier were facing then that must make you a full fledge retard.
Monty: Or maybe the almost being stabbed by Mark Evil really screwed him up in the head.
Scotty: **** you guys. I hope you ****ing lose.
Fergus: That will be a loss for you two but then again I guess you are a custom to that when you were teaming with Joe.
Scotty: You are an asshole.
Fergus: I'm drunk but now I can't drink anymore and I still need to get rid of the rest of my booze that I have with me. Scotty, do you want to do an alcohol bong?
Scotty: Uh...will Amber see this?
Fergus: Nah. No one actually watches this stuff. My promos are only good for background noise for when people are having sex.
Scotty: Okay.
*Scotty puts the hose in his mouth and Fergus opens a bottle of vodka and starts to pour it into the funnel. Scotty is able to keep up with it for 3 or 4 seconds and then starts choking and spitting out booze*
Scotty: What the hell was that?
Fergus: Vodka.
Scotty: You don't do Vodka bongs.
Fergus: Some people do.
Scotty: Not sane people.
Fergus: True. Ok Scotty do you know anything about our opponents?
Scotty: I guess Xavier Cross used to wrestle here back in the day.
Fergus: Anything about Karras?
Scotty: He's a priest.
Fergus: Great. God and 2x4's that are tied together. This is going to be an interesting match. Maybe we can trick the priest into sacrificing himself by crucifying him by nail him to the cross.
Monty: You mean nailing Karras to Xavier Cross?
Fergus: Yeah. He is a cross so he should be able to do the trick. Ok so how do we beat a priest?
Scotty: We can give him a little boy.
Fergus: Brilliant. We will give him a little boy, some little wafers and a bottle of ****ty wine. How do we beat a cross?
Scotty: Simple. Fire.
*Fergus pulls out a can of gas and book of matches*
Fergus: Got that bitch covered.
Scotty: Nice.
Fergus: Yeah. Holy **** is that Mark Evil?
*Fergus points and Scotty looks*
Scotty: Where?!
*Scotty then looks back to where Fergus and Monty were and both men have run off and are nowhere to be seen*
Scotty: FML.
*The scene fades to black*
*The scene then opens up with Fergus and Monty. Fergus is wearing a spandex superhero suit. The suit is black and green and has "BM" on the chest. His mask consists of having beer mugs for eye holes*
Monty: What the hell are you wearing?
Fergus: I am wearing my new superhero suit.
Monty: God that concussion is really affecting you. You haven't been drinking have you?
*The camera pans to Fergus who has just finished drinking a beer*
Fergus: mmmm beer.
Monty: damn it Fergus. The doctor told you not to drink.
Fergus: Did he really?
*Flashback to Fergus and Monty in the doctor’s office. Fergus has a big bandage on his forehead*
Doctor: Okay, Mr. Callaghan you have a pretty good concussion from your match with Brad Kane. You need to make sure that you don't drink.
Fergus: Okay.
*The Flashback ends*
Fergus: Bull****. I would never turn down beer plus I thought that was a dream anyway. A really terrible dream.
*Close up on Monty*
Monty: It wasn't a dream. It was reality. You can't drink or it could kill you.
*The camera pans over Fergus who is now doing a beer bong with a couple of frat guys*
Fergus: Thanks guys. That really hit the spot.
Frat Guy 1: Yeah man. You gonna have to come party with us...um....what’s your name?
Fergus: Beer Man.
Frat Guy 2: Badass name.
*The two frat guys walk away. Monty slaps Fergus in the head*
Fergus: Don't do that you stupid ass. You could kill me.
Monty: No I can't. You are drinking and not supposed too. You are going to kill you.
Fergus: No.
Monty: Yes. Now we need to be serious so take off the stupid costume.
Fergus: Fine.
*Fergus walks off camera and puts on his normal clothes. He comes back onto screen*
Fergus: Is this better your royal highnass.
Monty: Yes. Now we need to get you focused on the task at hand so I invited Scotty to be here.
*Scotty walks on camera now. Fergus starts laughing*
Scotty Callaway: What’s so funny?
Fergus: You.
Scotty: Why?
Fergus: Because you were scared of Mark Evil.
Scotty: Don't even give me that ****. He was the scariest dude in this place. He makes Dark Prophet look like a kindergartener.
Fergus: Man I'm glad I didn't face that guy.
Scotty: Yeah. You would have died.
Fergus: You do remember that you brought that upon yourself right?
Scotty: I know but he is dead and gone now.
*Fergus and Monty look at each other*
Fergus: He has a son you know.
Scotty: ****!
Fergus: Yeah. So what do you bring to this team?
Scotty: Um...I have a hot girlfriend?
Monty: That is a true story. She is smoking hot.
Fergus: I would like to break me off a piece of that.
Scotty: Hey don't say things like that about my girlfriend.
Fergus: Fine. What else do you bring to this team?
Scotty: I used to team up with Joe Everyman.
*Fergus and Monty groan*
Fergus: Well I quit. This team is ****ed. We might as well of gone out and picked a special Olympian or Mark Evil's urn.
Monty: Yeah. I'll take a retard over Scotty it seems.
Scotty: I'm still standing here guys.
Fergus: We know. What are we gonna do with him?
Monty: Steroids?
*Fergus and Monty look at Scotty and then back to each other*
Fergus: Do we really want to make his balls any smaller?
Monty: Yeah I'm sure that won’t sit well with Amber.
*Fergus and Monty look back at Scotty again who is glaring at Fergus and Monty*
Fergus: Maybe Scotty can just be good enough to help us beat Xavier and Karras.
Scotty: We are facing the blackest World Champion ever?
Fergus: Um...
Scotty: God I hate that KFC eating, purple drink guzzling asshole.
Fergus: Um...Scotty. We are facing Xavier Cross not Xavier Williams.
Scotty: Oh...
Fergus: Jesus, if I have a concussion and knew which Xavier were facing then that must make you a full fledge retard.
Monty: Or maybe the almost being stabbed by Mark Evil really screwed him up in the head.
Scotty: **** you guys. I hope you ****ing lose.
Fergus: That will be a loss for you two but then again I guess you are a custom to that when you were teaming with Joe.
Scotty: You are an asshole.
Fergus: I'm drunk but now I can't drink anymore and I still need to get rid of the rest of my booze that I have with me. Scotty, do you want to do an alcohol bong?
Scotty: Uh...will Amber see this?
Fergus: Nah. No one actually watches this stuff. My promos are only good for background noise for when people are having sex.
Scotty: Okay.
*Scotty puts the hose in his mouth and Fergus opens a bottle of vodka and starts to pour it into the funnel. Scotty is able to keep up with it for 3 or 4 seconds and then starts choking and spitting out booze*
Scotty: What the hell was that?
Fergus: Vodka.
Scotty: You don't do Vodka bongs.
Fergus: Some people do.
Scotty: Not sane people.
Fergus: True. Ok Scotty do you know anything about our opponents?
Scotty: I guess Xavier Cross used to wrestle here back in the day.
Fergus: Anything about Karras?
Scotty: He's a priest.
Fergus: Great. God and 2x4's that are tied together. This is going to be an interesting match. Maybe we can trick the priest into sacrificing himself by crucifying him by nail him to the cross.
Monty: You mean nailing Karras to Xavier Cross?
Fergus: Yeah. He is a cross so he should be able to do the trick. Ok so how do we beat a priest?
Scotty: We can give him a little boy.
Fergus: Brilliant. We will give him a little boy, some little wafers and a bottle of ****ty wine. How do we beat a cross?
Scotty: Simple. Fire.
*Fergus pulls out a can of gas and book of matches*
Fergus: Got that bitch covered.
Scotty: Nice.
Fergus: Yeah. Holy **** is that Mark Evil?
*Fergus points and Scotty looks*
Scotty: Where?!
*Scotty then looks back to where Fergus and Monty were and both men have run off and are nowhere to be seen*
Scotty: FML.
*The scene fades to black*