Post by Keybo Shabaz on Aug 26, 2009 18:54:23 GMT -6
(No flashy opening, no cute graphics, just Keybo Shabaz, sitting behind a standard desk you can buy at Ikea, in a room that could be anywhere, there isn't even a couch to sit on. He's looking pretty annoyed and disheveled.)
Keybo:Two weeks in and Battlegrounds is setting up to be another spectacular TV event that will leave any crowd breathless. Two warfare matches are set, a briefcase may be cashed in, and the main event is looking better every week.
Freakke the Clown vs Bryten Bourne
Keybo: Who's better equipped to be a wrestler, a clown or an actor? Clown.
Freakke 1-0
JFK vs Bad Luck Chuck
Keybo: This went over about as well as can be expected.
JFK 2-0
Brad Kane vs Kevin Hardaway
Keybo: Brad Kane is back in force. But Kevin Hardaway doesn't look like a pushover, he'll get up from this, guaranteed.
Brad Kane 3-0
Xavier Cross and Gabriel Karras vs Fergus Callaghan and Scotty Calloway
Keybo: Well, that was shortlived. Scotty Calloway has one match back and takes a broken ankle as a parting gift. Better luck next time kid.
Cross and Karras 4-0
Keybo: Perfection on Suspense. How long can I go?
Seth Evans vs Daredevil
Keybo: Daredevil tries hard, but he seems less focused the longer time goes on. Now, he's left the company. But Seth Evans is here to stay. Hopefully for good.
Seth Evans 5-0
Tommy Victor and Nathan Doe vs Dirty Deal
Keybo: How about that douches? Some new team walks through the door and hands you a solid whooping, and there's nothing you can say about it.
Victor and Doe 6-0
Angel vs Dark Prophet
Xtreme Rules
Keybo: Wow, out of all the matches to prove me wrong, who would have thought it would have been Prophet to do so?
Angel 6-1
Mike Honcho vs Adam Knite
Keybo: He wouldn't let that happen, and it didn't. Sorry Honch, but you're gonna need some serious training to handle the big boys.
Adam Knite 7-1
Keybo: So one slight scar marrs my perfection, but how high can I climb?
Jimmy Zane vs Chris Brock
Keybo: Zane makes his statement that he's coming for that X Division title, and beating Brock just cemented the point a little further.
Jimmy Zane 8-1
Jackhammer vs Joe Everyman vs Mark Murder vs Xavier Williams
Battle Royal
Keybo: Wait. What? Did he really? Did the X man win a match I picked him too? WOOHOO!!
Xavier Williams 9-1
The Syndicate vs Falcon and Cameron Corvis
Keybo: Gonna be kinda hard to prove you earn a tag title shot if you don't win matches boys. I'll give you that Falcon and Corvis aren't pushovers, but sometimes you gotta find a way to overcome the impossible.
The Syndicate 9-2
Lance Ryan vs Rob Diamond
Keybo: One kid plus one sock equals one shut mouth. I don't hate Rob Diamond, but sometimes I wish he'd think before he spoke. Way to go Lance.
Lance Ryan 10-2
Kristoff Liam Bates vs Sexy Jason
Xtreme Rules
Special Commentator: Adam Knite
Keybo: I don't get Adam Knite. He'll do something so dickish you think he sold his principles for a 3 musketeers, then something so honorable you're about to declare him a saint. Kristoff might not have needed help, but he got it anyway.
Kristoff Liam Bates 11-2
Steve Awesome vs The Ace
Keybo: This was a fantastic match. Fought back and forth between two skilled men, Honcho interfered and distracted Steve long enough for Ace to pull a Falcon and roll him up. Then Corvis blasted both Steve and Mike with the briefcase, declaring without words what his plans were.
Steve Awesome 11-3
Week: 11-3
2009: 152-91
Keybo: And so another week of wrestling action ended in dramatic fashion. But no fear, you're already halfway to more, right? RIGHT!?
Corey Shane vs Glen Nodoveit
Keybo: Two of our most recent hires square off to open the week. Not much is seen or known yet, so this will surprise me just as much as you.
Glen Nodoveit
Nathan Doe vs Mark Murder[/color]
Keybo: Two of our recent hires.. wait.. I just said that. Anyway, Doe steps away from Victor and polishes his skills against the no nonsense Mark Murder. Make sure you got your drinks and your snacks before the commercials end.
Nathan Doe
Kevin Hardaway vs Chris Brock[/color]
Keybo: Both men come off losses against proven nCw superstars, but the point of it is to learn from it and get back on that horse.
Chris Brock
Keybo: And Suspense will end as the prime appetizer. Next up is your pre dinner entree, Trauma.
Freakke the Clown vs Hexx
Xtreme Rules
Keybo: A clown, a voodoo shaman and xtreme rules? What an opener.
Freakke
Jackhammer vs Ricky Johnson[/color]
Keybo: The rock star returns! And immediately he's thrown to the wolves against da Hamma. This could go wrong in a hurry. Or it could be super awesome. My bet is on the latter.
Ricky Johnson
Dark Prophet vs Xavier Cross vs Xavier Williams
Keybo: DP vs XC vs XDub. If this isn't the formula for awesome, I don't know what it is.
Xavier Williams
The Ace vs JFK
Xtreme Rules
Keybo: And Trauma comes to a close with two of the best going at it under the banner of blood and sweat, Xtreme rules. Come on James, show the world just how back you are.
JFK
Keybo: Your pre dinner entree left you hungry for the mouth watering main course that is.. Collision.
Nick Logan vs Tommy Victor
Keybo: The contenders for the tag belts have been pretty vocal, but now its time to give a little show of force. But with Doe and Bane at ringside, I doubt either team will be focused on trying to win this match.
Nick Logan
Seth Evans vs Jimmy Zane
Lumberjack match
Keybo:[/color] The fatal four way is already set, so this is just for head games and bragging rights. But with Karras and Callaghan at ringside, someone might not walk away in the best shape.
Jimmy Zane
Sexy Jason and Rob Diamond vs Adam Knite
Keybo:[/color] Alright, who booked this match? Sure, Adam is a bit of an ass, but does he deserve this? I have no idea how this is even gonna go.
Jason and Diamond
Angel and Kristoff Liam Bates vs Philip Burns and
Keybo:[/color] A match to prove who really carried the Burning Angels for a hundred and seventy plus days. Angel is backed by the ever reliable Bates, but Burns has been mum on his partner and time is running out.
Angel and Bates
Lance Ryan vs Falcon
Keybo:[/color] A former two time World Champion takes on the current number one contender for that same title. But Everyman is on the commentary table, and I can't imagine he cares for either of them.
Falcon
Dirty Deal vs Spike and Brad Kane
Keybo:[/color] The Kanes team up for the first time in months, taking on the Tag champs and resident douches. Teach those retards a lesson boys.
Spike and Brad
Keybo: And that will end the awesomeness for the next week. Now I'm off to that giant house of Jimmy Zane. Be right back.
(Fade on the studio. Back in on Jimmy Zanes house. Zane is chillin in one of those large armchairs, Keybo on the couch. Boswell sets a tray of drinks on the coffee table and exits to the left.)
Keybo: Thanks for agreeing to this Jimmy.
Jimmy Zane: Sure thing buddy. Make it quick though.
Keybo: Gonna have to, damn time restraints. Jeremy Miller from Gobblers Knob, Pennsylvania asks.. Hey, Zane, I was just wondering if you'd like to buy some moonshine from my brother Jimmy-James Miller. He says that since you got the same first name...you should really try some and then put your name on it and we could get rich together. That'd be awesome.
Jimmy Zane: Thanks for the question. It seems to be a two parter, so let me address both questions. No, I don't drink moonshine, and no, you can't gobble my knob. Next question.
Keybo: Yeah, cuz towns can't have weird names or anything. Bill from Michigan asks... Do you ever get tired of figthing the stigma of living in your father's shadow? Maybe if you just embraced it you'd find an inner peace I feel you greatly lack?
Jimmy Zane: Bill, to be quite honest, the daily grind of trying to pull myself from the depths of his shadow is almost unbearable. I just keep pushing forward and hopefully someday I can forge my own road here in nCw. Maybe win the Road to the Gold tournament. Maybe win the world title. Who knows? Next.
Keybo: Always good to dream big. Maybe too big. Next one is from Zanerulez@hotmail.com asks.. Dude, Jimmy. I watched your dad and I've watched you and I gotta say im a big fan. My question is, out of the entire nCw roster new and old alike, who do you think would give you the best match and why?
Jimmy Zane: Best match, huh? I don't know, it's hard to say. There are so many great athletes in nCw. I have had great matches with some of the top superstars here. From Falcon to Angel. Beating Angel for the XDivision championship last year was a huge moment for me. But if I could pick someone for a perfect match, it would be someone I have never faced as a member of nCw. So honestly I would have to say Spike Kane or Steve Awesome. Or both of them? Next question.
Keybo: More big dreams. Valentine Dark from.. now that's gotta be fake.. anyway, Fakie is from Rockford, Illinois and asks.. What would you be if you wasn't a wrestler?
Jimmy Zane: Ha, not be a wrestler? There isn't anything on this planet i would rather do than wrestle, and that's a fact. So, I can't answer this one.
Keybo: I could suggest a couple things. Well, that's it. There were a bunch more, but none of them were airable, even on the web.
Jimmy Zane: Doesn't surprise me. Find your own way out.
(Jimmy Zane skitters in the seat to get comfortable, then settles down for a nap. Keybo looks at the camera, then stands up.)
Keybo: Alright, I'm Keybo Shabaz.. he's Jimmy Zane.. always remember..
Steel Chairs are fun..
Barbed wire is a good time..
And always tip your waitress...
I'm out.
(Fade.)
"Hey, join me again next week when my guest in the studio will be the perennial machine, Xavier Williams! Questions? Comments? Want him to rock the house at your bro's wedding? Send them in to:
TheShabaz@ncwentertainment.com
Or Call the studio lines at 1-866-555-3737
And I'll see you here next week!"
(You know the deal.)
Keybo:Two weeks in and Battlegrounds is setting up to be another spectacular TV event that will leave any crowd breathless. Two warfare matches are set, a briefcase may be cashed in, and the main event is looking better every week.
Freakke the Clown vs Bryten Bourne
Keybo: Who's better equipped to be a wrestler, a clown or an actor? Clown.
Freakke 1-0
JFK vs Bad Luck Chuck
Keybo: This went over about as well as can be expected.
JFK 2-0
Brad Kane vs Kevin Hardaway
Keybo: Brad Kane is back in force. But Kevin Hardaway doesn't look like a pushover, he'll get up from this, guaranteed.
Brad Kane 3-0
Xavier Cross and Gabriel Karras vs Fergus Callaghan and Scotty Calloway
Keybo: Well, that was shortlived. Scotty Calloway has one match back and takes a broken ankle as a parting gift. Better luck next time kid.
Cross and Karras 4-0
Keybo: Perfection on Suspense. How long can I go?
Seth Evans vs Daredevil
Keybo: Daredevil tries hard, but he seems less focused the longer time goes on. Now, he's left the company. But Seth Evans is here to stay. Hopefully for good.
Seth Evans 5-0
Tommy Victor and Nathan Doe vs Dirty Deal
Keybo: How about that douches? Some new team walks through the door and hands you a solid whooping, and there's nothing you can say about it.
Victor and Doe 6-0
Angel vs Dark Prophet
Xtreme Rules
Keybo: Wow, out of all the matches to prove me wrong, who would have thought it would have been Prophet to do so?
Angel 6-1
Mike Honcho vs Adam Knite
Keybo: He wouldn't let that happen, and it didn't. Sorry Honch, but you're gonna need some serious training to handle the big boys.
Adam Knite 7-1
Keybo: So one slight scar marrs my perfection, but how high can I climb?
Jimmy Zane vs Chris Brock
Keybo: Zane makes his statement that he's coming for that X Division title, and beating Brock just cemented the point a little further.
Jimmy Zane 8-1
Jackhammer vs Joe Everyman vs Mark Murder vs Xavier Williams
Battle Royal
Keybo: Wait. What? Did he really? Did the X man win a match I picked him too? WOOHOO!!
Xavier Williams 9-1
The Syndicate vs Falcon and Cameron Corvis
Keybo: Gonna be kinda hard to prove you earn a tag title shot if you don't win matches boys. I'll give you that Falcon and Corvis aren't pushovers, but sometimes you gotta find a way to overcome the impossible.
The Syndicate 9-2
Lance Ryan vs Rob Diamond
Keybo: One kid plus one sock equals one shut mouth. I don't hate Rob Diamond, but sometimes I wish he'd think before he spoke. Way to go Lance.
Lance Ryan 10-2
Kristoff Liam Bates vs Sexy Jason
Xtreme Rules
Special Commentator: Adam Knite
Keybo: I don't get Adam Knite. He'll do something so dickish you think he sold his principles for a 3 musketeers, then something so honorable you're about to declare him a saint. Kristoff might not have needed help, but he got it anyway.
Kristoff Liam Bates 11-2
Steve Awesome vs The Ace
Keybo: This was a fantastic match. Fought back and forth between two skilled men, Honcho interfered and distracted Steve long enough for Ace to pull a Falcon and roll him up. Then Corvis blasted both Steve and Mike with the briefcase, declaring without words what his plans were.
Steve Awesome 11-3
Week: 11-3
2009: 152-91
Keybo: And so another week of wrestling action ended in dramatic fashion. But no fear, you're already halfway to more, right? RIGHT!?
Corey Shane vs Glen Nodoveit
Keybo: Two of our most recent hires square off to open the week. Not much is seen or known yet, so this will surprise me just as much as you.
Glen Nodoveit
Nathan Doe vs Mark Murder[/color]
Keybo: Two of our recent hires.. wait.. I just said that. Anyway, Doe steps away from Victor and polishes his skills against the no nonsense Mark Murder. Make sure you got your drinks and your snacks before the commercials end.
Nathan Doe
Kevin Hardaway vs Chris Brock[/color]
Keybo: Both men come off losses against proven nCw superstars, but the point of it is to learn from it and get back on that horse.
Chris Brock
Keybo: And Suspense will end as the prime appetizer. Next up is your pre dinner entree, Trauma.
Freakke the Clown vs Hexx
Xtreme Rules
Keybo: A clown, a voodoo shaman and xtreme rules? What an opener.
Freakke
Jackhammer vs Ricky Johnson[/color]
Keybo: The rock star returns! And immediately he's thrown to the wolves against da Hamma. This could go wrong in a hurry. Or it could be super awesome. My bet is on the latter.
Ricky Johnson
Dark Prophet vs Xavier Cross vs Xavier Williams
Keybo: DP vs XC vs XDub. If this isn't the formula for awesome, I don't know what it is.
Xavier Williams
The Ace vs JFK
Xtreme Rules
Keybo: And Trauma comes to a close with two of the best going at it under the banner of blood and sweat, Xtreme rules. Come on James, show the world just how back you are.
JFK
Keybo: Your pre dinner entree left you hungry for the mouth watering main course that is.. Collision.
Nick Logan vs Tommy Victor
Keybo: The contenders for the tag belts have been pretty vocal, but now its time to give a little show of force. But with Doe and Bane at ringside, I doubt either team will be focused on trying to win this match.
Nick Logan
Seth Evans vs Jimmy Zane
Lumberjack match
Keybo:[/color] The fatal four way is already set, so this is just for head games and bragging rights. But with Karras and Callaghan at ringside, someone might not walk away in the best shape.
Jimmy Zane
Sexy Jason and Rob Diamond vs Adam Knite
Keybo:[/color] Alright, who booked this match? Sure, Adam is a bit of an ass, but does he deserve this? I have no idea how this is even gonna go.
Jason and Diamond
Angel and Kristoff Liam Bates vs Philip Burns and
Keybo:[/color] A match to prove who really carried the Burning Angels for a hundred and seventy plus days. Angel is backed by the ever reliable Bates, but Burns has been mum on his partner and time is running out.
Angel and Bates
Lance Ryan vs Falcon
Keybo:[/color] A former two time World Champion takes on the current number one contender for that same title. But Everyman is on the commentary table, and I can't imagine he cares for either of them.
Falcon
Dirty Deal vs Spike and Brad Kane
Keybo:[/color] The Kanes team up for the first time in months, taking on the Tag champs and resident douches. Teach those retards a lesson boys.
Spike and Brad
Keybo: And that will end the awesomeness for the next week. Now I'm off to that giant house of Jimmy Zane. Be right back.
(Fade on the studio. Back in on Jimmy Zanes house. Zane is chillin in one of those large armchairs, Keybo on the couch. Boswell sets a tray of drinks on the coffee table and exits to the left.)
Keybo: Thanks for agreeing to this Jimmy.
Jimmy Zane: Sure thing buddy. Make it quick though.
Keybo: Gonna have to, damn time restraints. Jeremy Miller from Gobblers Knob, Pennsylvania asks.. Hey, Zane, I was just wondering if you'd like to buy some moonshine from my brother Jimmy-James Miller. He says that since you got the same first name...you should really try some and then put your name on it and we could get rich together. That'd be awesome.
Jimmy Zane: Thanks for the question. It seems to be a two parter, so let me address both questions. No, I don't drink moonshine, and no, you can't gobble my knob. Next question.
Keybo: Yeah, cuz towns can't have weird names or anything. Bill from Michigan asks... Do you ever get tired of figthing the stigma of living in your father's shadow? Maybe if you just embraced it you'd find an inner peace I feel you greatly lack?
Jimmy Zane: Bill, to be quite honest, the daily grind of trying to pull myself from the depths of his shadow is almost unbearable. I just keep pushing forward and hopefully someday I can forge my own road here in nCw. Maybe win the Road to the Gold tournament. Maybe win the world title. Who knows? Next.
Keybo: Always good to dream big. Maybe too big. Next one is from Zanerulez@hotmail.com asks.. Dude, Jimmy. I watched your dad and I've watched you and I gotta say im a big fan. My question is, out of the entire nCw roster new and old alike, who do you think would give you the best match and why?
Jimmy Zane: Best match, huh? I don't know, it's hard to say. There are so many great athletes in nCw. I have had great matches with some of the top superstars here. From Falcon to Angel. Beating Angel for the XDivision championship last year was a huge moment for me. But if I could pick someone for a perfect match, it would be someone I have never faced as a member of nCw. So honestly I would have to say Spike Kane or Steve Awesome. Or both of them? Next question.
Keybo: More big dreams. Valentine Dark from.. now that's gotta be fake.. anyway, Fakie is from Rockford, Illinois and asks.. What would you be if you wasn't a wrestler?
Jimmy Zane: Ha, not be a wrestler? There isn't anything on this planet i would rather do than wrestle, and that's a fact. So, I can't answer this one.
Keybo: I could suggest a couple things. Well, that's it. There were a bunch more, but none of them were airable, even on the web.
Jimmy Zane: Doesn't surprise me. Find your own way out.
(Jimmy Zane skitters in the seat to get comfortable, then settles down for a nap. Keybo looks at the camera, then stands up.)
Keybo: Alright, I'm Keybo Shabaz.. he's Jimmy Zane.. always remember..
Steel Chairs are fun..
Barbed wire is a good time..
And always tip your waitress...
I'm out.
(Fade.)
"Hey, join me again next week when my guest in the studio will be the perennial machine, Xavier Williams! Questions? Comments? Want him to rock the house at your bro's wedding? Send them in to:
TheShabaz@ncwentertainment.com
Or Call the studio lines at 1-866-555-3737
And I'll see you here next week!"
(You know the deal.)