Post by Rob Diamond on Sept 27, 2009 23:42:16 GMT -6
( Chris Diamond sits in his office enjoying a Late' when all of a sudden his door gets kicked in, like NYPD style kicked in. Chris doesn't even flinch as Rob storms in the room, slamming his X-Division Title down on the table. He leans in as close to Chris as you can get without kissing him. )
Rob: What... The... ****!!??
Chris: Oh, hey Rob, long time no see. How have you been?
( Rob lets out a "Heh." But thats it. )
Rob: Oh, me? I'm real ****ing good, how bout you, how's that neck?
Chris: Feels pretty good actually, why, you looking to try and end my life along with my career?
Rob: That depends on your next answer brother... Why...The... Hell... AM... I.. ON... SUSPENSE!?
( Chris makes like he's wiping spit out of his eyes. )
Chris: Which answer would you like? The "I hate you Rob so I put you on Suspense." Or how bout "I actually think your a top competitor and think you being on Suspense would save the show from being canceled."
( Rob steps back a little. )
Rob: Canceled?
Chris: Yeah, last weeks episode with Dirty Deal tanked. The network said fix it or dump it.
Rob: So you put me on there against some newb?
Chris: I figure we got some new dark gimmicky guy taking on, and I quote "The greatest X-Division Champion of all time." How could that make the ratings worse?
( Rob now takes a seat across from Chris, crossing his legs and putting his hands behind his head. )
Rob: I see your point. Hell, it'll probably be the highest rated episode of Suspense yet.
Chris: But try not to take this guy lightly, you know how much you hate that.
Rob: Chris, if there's one thing I learned hanging out with you and Honcho all those months, its to never take someone lightly, even if their entire career is based on getting their ass handed to them by a clown. Seriously, whats up with that? I read this losers bio, he's pissed at Freakke so he hides behind a mask with a locking mechanism? Their called dikes dumb ass, cut the damn thing off, or how bout scissors you moron? What kind of tards is nCw hiring these days? Its enough to make a guy want to jump over to that backyard hardcore wrestling fetish fed that Angel now calls home.
( Chris lets out a chuckle. )
Chris: Hey bro, don't say things you can't take back.
Rob: Yeah, your right, I'd kill myself before wrestling for them. I mean they look at people like Seth Evans and see TALENT! Are you kidding me? He couldn't wrestle his way out of a wet paper bag with a knife a flash light and a goddam map.
Chris: Maybe, I guess we'll have to wait and see if he makes it through Cross.
Rob: Thanks by the way for going along with that.
( Chris leans forward on his desk and smiles. )
Chris: In two years you haven't asked me for a single favor, you didn't even ask me to make this match, so I figured what the hell? Its a good match, it makes sense, book it.
Rob: Honestly, I could care less if Seth wins or loses, all that really matters is keeping my title where it belongs, around my waist. Who I beat at Road to the Gold to keep it makes little difference. Hell, it could be Freakke or his nemesis or even Hexx. Regardless of who, the result will be the same, this guy *points at self* will still be the X-Division Champion.
( Rob gets up from the chair. )
Rob: Catch ya later Chris.
Chris: It was good to talk to you Rob.
Rob: Yeah, it was good talking to you, maybe we'll do it again sometime.
Chris: Maybe.
( Rob grabs his title and exits Chris' office. He tries to close the door he basically broke off the hinges but it doesn't happen, he gives a sublte wave and leaves. Chris goes back to enjoying his delicious Late'. )
Blackheart? Really? The best name you could come up with was Blackheart? What'd you do, think about it for ten whole seconds, pick up a issue of Ghost Rider volume 2 and just go "Hey that guys name sounds pretty sinister, JUST LIKE ME!?" What kind of a royal douche bag are you? And whats up with all these dark morons climbing out of the wood work all of a sudden? And whats up with stealing Corey Taylor's damn mask? GIVE ME SOME ANSWERS YOU BASTARDS!!!!
Sorry, I sorta lost my place for a second, its just between Glen Nodoveit's obsession with blood, Will Washington's obsession with crying about shedding blood, Dark Prophet's hard on for blood and now this Blackheart guy who is surely out for blood, I'm just a little sick of the whole dark and brooding character thing. I mean, Batman is pretty cool and all, but after a while watching some 30 something year old man sulk around with a 12 year old who wears green underwear and rides bitch on his motorcycle just gets a little stupid... and creepy.
So I guess what I'm saying is if Blackheart says one thing about blood, brooding, or little kids riding bitch on his Harley, I may just have to buy a gun and start taking people out from the fifth floor of the local library.
Thats not a threat.
But hey, lets be serious for a second and try and break this whole thing down. I'm facing some loser nobody with a clown fetish in a match that means absolutely nothing on a show thats about to get canceled. I'm thinking my brother Chris is giving me an early Christmas present because this is going to be my easiest win since Mark Evil. And believe me, that dead son of a bitch went down like nothing. I mean, I've never beaten someone that quickly or that easily. But I'm expecting Blackheart to break Evil's record and earn his place among nCw's wall of shame, right along side the clown.
By the way, I can see how losing to Freakke could make any man hide his face from public view until the day he dies, but was it really bad enough to dedicate your life to kicking his ass? Cause... I could like totally just walk down the hall to his locker room and take care of him for you. It wouldn't even be a challenge. The hardest part would be walking down the hall way and remembering which room he was in. The ass kicking part would be like punching a baby, easy.
Alright, I got an idea. How about you try not being just like every other Undertaker wannabe thats come a walking through the nCw doors and I promise to not make fun of you until you just give up and quit. Sound good? I personally think thats a sweet deal, my insults have been known to cause certain emos to cut themselves quite dramatically.
I'll give you exactly five seconds to reply, after those five seconds you will have to deal with every single mean, rotten joke I can think of. And just to be honest pal, I can think of allot of them rather quickly, and not all of them are your momma jokes. But if you'd rather do this the old fashioned way, where you don't act like a douche bag and I don't just mock your whole life, we could actually get down to some wrestling and give the people in the crowd and watching at home, no matter how few of them their are, a good match...
Well... A decent match, I'm not exactly sure how good a Six foot even, two hundred and sixty pound guy is going to move in the ring. I'd imagine it looks something similar to the blob if it were in a slipknot mask trying to hit me with a clothes line... *shudders*
But hey, nothing a quick jaunt at the gym can't take care of, and by jaunt I mean several years of hard training and a proper diet. Who'd of thought a loss to Freakke also causes eating disorders? I'm going to have to keep in mind to never get pinned by that guy. It's like he has super secret clown powers that total destroy your whole life. Wow... I almost feel sorry for you... But then I remember your just another jackass in a mask who probably can't wrestle and I feel all good about myself again.
Try not to follow in Mark Evil's foot steps and die on us, I'd hate to see you go before I really got the mockery going.
Rob: What... The... ****!!??
Chris: Oh, hey Rob, long time no see. How have you been?
( Rob lets out a "Heh." But thats it. )
Rob: Oh, me? I'm real ****ing good, how bout you, how's that neck?
Chris: Feels pretty good actually, why, you looking to try and end my life along with my career?
Rob: That depends on your next answer brother... Why...The... Hell... AM... I.. ON... SUSPENSE!?
( Chris makes like he's wiping spit out of his eyes. )
Chris: Which answer would you like? The "I hate you Rob so I put you on Suspense." Or how bout "I actually think your a top competitor and think you being on Suspense would save the show from being canceled."
( Rob steps back a little. )
Rob: Canceled?
Chris: Yeah, last weeks episode with Dirty Deal tanked. The network said fix it or dump it.
Rob: So you put me on there against some newb?
Chris: I figure we got some new dark gimmicky guy taking on, and I quote "The greatest X-Division Champion of all time." How could that make the ratings worse?
( Rob now takes a seat across from Chris, crossing his legs and putting his hands behind his head. )
Rob: I see your point. Hell, it'll probably be the highest rated episode of Suspense yet.
Chris: But try not to take this guy lightly, you know how much you hate that.
Rob: Chris, if there's one thing I learned hanging out with you and Honcho all those months, its to never take someone lightly, even if their entire career is based on getting their ass handed to them by a clown. Seriously, whats up with that? I read this losers bio, he's pissed at Freakke so he hides behind a mask with a locking mechanism? Their called dikes dumb ass, cut the damn thing off, or how bout scissors you moron? What kind of tards is nCw hiring these days? Its enough to make a guy want to jump over to that backyard hardcore wrestling fetish fed that Angel now calls home.
( Chris lets out a chuckle. )
Chris: Hey bro, don't say things you can't take back.
Rob: Yeah, your right, I'd kill myself before wrestling for them. I mean they look at people like Seth Evans and see TALENT! Are you kidding me? He couldn't wrestle his way out of a wet paper bag with a knife a flash light and a goddam map.
Chris: Maybe, I guess we'll have to wait and see if he makes it through Cross.
Rob: Thanks by the way for going along with that.
( Chris leans forward on his desk and smiles. )
Chris: In two years you haven't asked me for a single favor, you didn't even ask me to make this match, so I figured what the hell? Its a good match, it makes sense, book it.
Rob: Honestly, I could care less if Seth wins or loses, all that really matters is keeping my title where it belongs, around my waist. Who I beat at Road to the Gold to keep it makes little difference. Hell, it could be Freakke or his nemesis or even Hexx. Regardless of who, the result will be the same, this guy *points at self* will still be the X-Division Champion.
( Rob gets up from the chair. )
Rob: Catch ya later Chris.
Chris: It was good to talk to you Rob.
Rob: Yeah, it was good talking to you, maybe we'll do it again sometime.
Chris: Maybe.
( Rob grabs his title and exits Chris' office. He tries to close the door he basically broke off the hinges but it doesn't happen, he gives a sublte wave and leaves. Chris goes back to enjoying his delicious Late'. )
Blackheart? Really? The best name you could come up with was Blackheart? What'd you do, think about it for ten whole seconds, pick up a issue of Ghost Rider volume 2 and just go "Hey that guys name sounds pretty sinister, JUST LIKE ME!?" What kind of a royal douche bag are you? And whats up with all these dark morons climbing out of the wood work all of a sudden? And whats up with stealing Corey Taylor's damn mask? GIVE ME SOME ANSWERS YOU BASTARDS!!!!
Sorry, I sorta lost my place for a second, its just between Glen Nodoveit's obsession with blood, Will Washington's obsession with crying about shedding blood, Dark Prophet's hard on for blood and now this Blackheart guy who is surely out for blood, I'm just a little sick of the whole dark and brooding character thing. I mean, Batman is pretty cool and all, but after a while watching some 30 something year old man sulk around with a 12 year old who wears green underwear and rides bitch on his motorcycle just gets a little stupid... and creepy.
So I guess what I'm saying is if Blackheart says one thing about blood, brooding, or little kids riding bitch on his Harley, I may just have to buy a gun and start taking people out from the fifth floor of the local library.
Thats not a threat.
But hey, lets be serious for a second and try and break this whole thing down. I'm facing some loser nobody with a clown fetish in a match that means absolutely nothing on a show thats about to get canceled. I'm thinking my brother Chris is giving me an early Christmas present because this is going to be my easiest win since Mark Evil. And believe me, that dead son of a bitch went down like nothing. I mean, I've never beaten someone that quickly or that easily. But I'm expecting Blackheart to break Evil's record and earn his place among nCw's wall of shame, right along side the clown.
By the way, I can see how losing to Freakke could make any man hide his face from public view until the day he dies, but was it really bad enough to dedicate your life to kicking his ass? Cause... I could like totally just walk down the hall to his locker room and take care of him for you. It wouldn't even be a challenge. The hardest part would be walking down the hall way and remembering which room he was in. The ass kicking part would be like punching a baby, easy.
Alright, I got an idea. How about you try not being just like every other Undertaker wannabe thats come a walking through the nCw doors and I promise to not make fun of you until you just give up and quit. Sound good? I personally think thats a sweet deal, my insults have been known to cause certain emos to cut themselves quite dramatically.
I'll give you exactly five seconds to reply, after those five seconds you will have to deal with every single mean, rotten joke I can think of. And just to be honest pal, I can think of allot of them rather quickly, and not all of them are your momma jokes. But if you'd rather do this the old fashioned way, where you don't act like a douche bag and I don't just mock your whole life, we could actually get down to some wrestling and give the people in the crowd and watching at home, no matter how few of them their are, a good match...
Well... A decent match, I'm not exactly sure how good a Six foot even, two hundred and sixty pound guy is going to move in the ring. I'd imagine it looks something similar to the blob if it were in a slipknot mask trying to hit me with a clothes line... *shudders*
But hey, nothing a quick jaunt at the gym can't take care of, and by jaunt I mean several years of hard training and a proper diet. Who'd of thought a loss to Freakke also causes eating disorders? I'm going to have to keep in mind to never get pinned by that guy. It's like he has super secret clown powers that total destroy your whole life. Wow... I almost feel sorry for you... But then I remember your just another jackass in a mask who probably can't wrestle and I feel all good about myself again.
Try not to follow in Mark Evil's foot steps and die on us, I'd hate to see you go before I really got the mockery going.