Post by Spike Kane on Oct 17, 2009 12:18:28 GMT -6
Gather ye round ladies and gentlemen, allow me to tell you a thrilling tale.
A tale of two star crossed lovers....
A tale of two star crossed lovers.... no wait.....that's not right.
A tale of two brothers? Yes...that's it, twin brothers, born in the moments where the moon sets and the sun rises.
One born with the lust of a vampire, and the other born with the curse of the lycanthropes.
One born with the lust of a vampire, and the other born with the curse of the lycanthropes. No dammit, that's not it either.
Right....here we go. Two brothers right? Twins to be exact? The story goes that one was born of night and the other is gay? OK...who's messing with my scripts because this is just getting stupid. Oh...there's more.
One was born with awesome skills and the other is a giant douche bag who's only real claim to fame is his wife's tits bouncing around in their porn video. OK guys, when I was asked to narrate a story, I wasn't expecting this kind of garbage!
*Whisper whisper*
Yes I know I've already excepted half of the money already but guys....
*Whisper whisper*
You'll do WHAT to my corn hole? Gee....you guys really are messed up. OK, OK....I'll do it.
Ahem.
Yes, it seems that the twin brothers would share likenesses but that is where it would end. Whilst both would enjoy their vices and fall victim to them during their life one would cope on his own and heal his own wounds without destroying others lives, whilst the other would use it to entrap some random slut and trick her into marrying him before having loads of kids so he could pleasure himself whi-oh come on! This is ridiculous! No, I don't care, I'm not reading about paedophilia that's just wrong! Is this guy even-
*Whisper*
Yes of course I like my Johnson where he is what do yo-oh....I see.
Well, moving on. It seems the one brother, often labelled as the “dark” brother would go on to enjoy great success in his working career, becoming a world wide superstar and being a great role model for kids, whilst the often labelled “latter” brother would be the worlds greatest flop and become a role model for half assers, quitters, emo kids, and obese and depressed world of warcraft players.
What's World of Warcraft?
A game? Where you? ….why would anybody spend that much time on a simple point and click adv-oh, sorry, I digress, I mean it's not like we're talking about the monkey island games are we? Now that pointing and clicking is worth the time, just like Sam and Max. Aaah...good times.
OK, OK...the real story is that three siblings two twin brothers and their younger sister were separated early into their childhoods. One was sent to an insane asylum, another to an orphanage where he would be forced to engage in child fighting rings and abused on a daily basis, the other sent to America to live life like most Americans do. Later in their lives they would be reunited, the younger brother would be jealous of the older and do everything he could to try an one up his elder sibling, but when the dust settled he always failed.
Thus is the tale of Reckless Jack. He would always fail, and from the hearts and souls of Spike Kane's friends comes the message that Jack will fail once more.
Right....now....the matter of my fee?
Scene opens now, Morgan Freeman, Falcon and Rob Diamond standing behind a huge black curtain. Freeman with the script in his hands and the others trying to stifle back their laughter. Falcon nods and Rob hands some cash to Morgan Freeman who stuffs it in his pocket and walks off.
So you think he'll appreciate this?
Maybe, maybe not. Spike's a weird kind of guy but at the very least I enjoyed that.
Yeah it was kinda fun, I mean that Brad guy is a complete and utter tool.
Yep. I hope Spike destroys the douche.
He better do, else we'll never get him out of this rage kinda state he's in. And...he'll stop bitching about his wife and son at long last.
Yeah, but more importantly, he'll be free of this mental block at long last and can move on with both his career and his life.
OK...that was rather “leaderey” ….but I'll let it go.
Speaking of going, fancy some food?
A smirk and a nod later, and then Rob and Falcon walk of screen. The scene fades away...
...before fading in to an image of Spike. He's sitting on a stool in a small room lit only by the open light bulb and his face is not a happy one. He doesn't even wait for the viewer to get used to the image before he begins roaring through his prepared speech.
Jack there's so much I want to say to you, so much I want to talk to you about but the words just won't come out. It's like every time I see you rage just takes over and shuts everything else down. There's just no way around it Jack, nothing to do with the state of my mind, nothing to do with the state of our careers, or should I say your career as mine is quite the legacy.
It just doesn't compute for you does it Jack? Yeah we're brothers, yes we looks alike but we both know that's where it ends. You value life on how many times you can knock up the nearest whore and how fast, whereas my life is valued by the championships I have held, the young stars I have mentored, and my family too. Broken right now, unlike yours but let's take a closer looks Jack. I have a wife, the one woman I've had sex with since Nola passed away, yet you you've knocked up two women in the same *** damn household! One of which is supposedly a lesbian, you know it really wouldn't surprise me if Freya's child is yours.
Because that's all you do Jack is f*ck people. Whether it be literally or metaphorically. Freya was an innocent girl before you came along, before you corrupted her with you're deviant ways. Honestly Jack, before you she may have had a crush on a guy or two but as soon as she moves in with you she's caught masturbating, she's caught romping on the floor in the middle of the house, in the pool....she gets used by some dick and you do nothing about it. I don't know why she never came to me, I don't know why she always decides to buzz around you like a fly on sh*t but I guess I could put it all down to the new and exciting thing, she likes you because your new....but trust me wants she has her kids she won't want her deviant freak brother anywhere near them.
Just like I don't want you near mine.
But that's besides the point Jack, I couldn't care less about Freya right now, all I care about is my wife and son. They mean more to me than anything, more than life itself. You are up to your old tricks and trying to turn my family against me, screw the fans they mean f*ck all as far as this is concerned, this is purely personal. It's because of one thing....
You will never be as good as I am.
I know you think your “winning” because you have a slut for a wife and several bastard children. Great man, yeah, you're “winning” at being white trash maybe. You like to think that your better than me because your vice was simply alcohol? Come on Jack, really? You fell for the easy one, the most readily available.....but it's not your only vice is it Jack? You claim to be straight edge but you know more than anybody else how insatiable your sex drive is, you practise promiscuous sex and damn...well, surprised you haven't tried to hump me yet! Your a hypocrite Jack, a fraud and quite frankly a failure.
This all began the moment you did something worthwhile didn't it Jack? When you copied me, when you did exactly what I did the year before....won the rumble and won the world title only to lose it to the first challenger to come along. Except this time you lost it to your brother, the older, more handsome and defiantly more skilled brother. Hell you barely even had it in you to go through with the match because you knew you didn't stand a chance, you couldn't compete with me and ever since that day ever since I pinned you squarely in the middle of the ring, clean 1....2....3...you've had a mad desire to beat me, at anything. Christ you'd take having a bigger penis as a huge victory, but the truth be told Jack....you've never beaten me one on one.
Ever.
And you never will, not if I have anything to do with it. This match you've put together is designed for mass amounts of pain, physical pain not the emotional and mental pain that we have to go through day to day. You think Conrad screwed you over? You think you got the raw end of the deal? You never had to go through what I did Jack....you were never beaten by him....you were never....
YOU WERE NEVER ABUSED BY YOUR OWN FATHER!
And you try and talk to me about wrong and right? You can go f*ck yourself for all I care Jack. In my eyes your a reminder of everything horrible that has ever happened to me, a constant annoying f*cking reminder and I'd have no greater pleasure than finally getting rid of you. Hell I'll be doing both you and nCw a favour, instead of them waiting for you to throw your next hissy fit and walk out the door because you can't handle losing, how about I just straight up cripple you on Sunday night? It wouldn't be too hard, or too bothersome for me...hell you know what? I think I may just waive my salary for Sunday Night. That's right nCw management, you don't need to pay me for Road to the Gold, hell no...because you Jack?
I'd destroy you for free.
Road to the Gold usually has significant meaning for championships, for those finally reaching the pinnacle of their career. Yes, I am sad to say that the peak of my career is behind me, but even in my darkest days I could beat you Jack. You like to believe your some kind of technical master, that your the greatest light heavyweight in the world, besides Venom of course....whom I took to a time out draw. Yeah, I took Venom to his limits, I've out wrestled two thirds of the young guns in straight up wrestling matches, I out wrestled AJ Phoenix in a submission match, and then of course we come to the people I've annihilatedlike Dark Prophet, Jack Manson, Davey Ortega and Vertigo Dirtmurder, to name but a few.....and each and every one of them is better than you.
OK, maybe not Vertigo.
No, you know what? Yeah including Vertigo! F*ck you Jack....
I hated you from the moment I laid eyes on you, I used our connection to steal the world title from you, and now I'll use that connection to finally end the nuisance that is the career of Worthless Jack.
Once...
…...and....
…............for all!
Cut. End.
A tale of two star crossed lovers....
A tale of two brothers? Yes...that's it, twin brothers, born in the moments where the moon sets and the sun rises.
One born with the lust of a vampire, and the other born with the curse of the lycanthropes.
Right....here we go. Two brothers right? Twins to be exact? The story goes that one was born of night and the other is gay? OK...who's messing with my scripts because this is just getting stupid. Oh...there's more.
One was born with awesome skills and the other is a giant douche bag who's only real claim to fame is his wife's tits bouncing around in their porn video. OK guys, when I was asked to narrate a story, I wasn't expecting this kind of garbage!
*Whisper whisper*
Yes I know I've already excepted half of the money already but guys....
*Whisper whisper*
You'll do WHAT to my corn hole? Gee....you guys really are messed up. OK, OK....I'll do it.
Ahem.
Yes, it seems that the twin brothers would share likenesses but that is where it would end. Whilst both would enjoy their vices and fall victim to them during their life one would cope on his own and heal his own wounds without destroying others lives, whilst the other would use it to entrap some random slut and trick her into marrying him before having loads of kids so he could pleasure himself whi-oh come on! This is ridiculous! No, I don't care, I'm not reading about paedophilia that's just wrong! Is this guy even-
*Whisper*
Yes of course I like my Johnson where he is what do yo-oh....I see.
Well, moving on. It seems the one brother, often labelled as the “dark” brother would go on to enjoy great success in his working career, becoming a world wide superstar and being a great role model for kids, whilst the often labelled “latter” brother would be the worlds greatest flop and become a role model for half assers, quitters, emo kids, and obese and depressed world of warcraft players.
What's World of Warcraft?
A game? Where you? ….why would anybody spend that much time on a simple point and click adv-oh, sorry, I digress, I mean it's not like we're talking about the monkey island games are we? Now that pointing and clicking is worth the time, just like Sam and Max. Aaah...good times.
OK, OK...the real story is that three siblings two twin brothers and their younger sister were separated early into their childhoods. One was sent to an insane asylum, another to an orphanage where he would be forced to engage in child fighting rings and abused on a daily basis, the other sent to America to live life like most Americans do. Later in their lives they would be reunited, the younger brother would be jealous of the older and do everything he could to try an one up his elder sibling, but when the dust settled he always failed.
Thus is the tale of Reckless Jack. He would always fail, and from the hearts and souls of Spike Kane's friends comes the message that Jack will fail once more.
Right....now....the matter of my fee?
Scene opens now, Morgan Freeman, Falcon and Rob Diamond standing behind a huge black curtain. Freeman with the script in his hands and the others trying to stifle back their laughter. Falcon nods and Rob hands some cash to Morgan Freeman who stuffs it in his pocket and walks off.
So you think he'll appreciate this?
Maybe, maybe not. Spike's a weird kind of guy but at the very least I enjoyed that.
Yeah it was kinda fun, I mean that Brad guy is a complete and utter tool.
Yep. I hope Spike destroys the douche.
He better do, else we'll never get him out of this rage kinda state he's in. And...he'll stop bitching about his wife and son at long last.
Yeah, but more importantly, he'll be free of this mental block at long last and can move on with both his career and his life.
OK...that was rather “leaderey” ….but I'll let it go.
Speaking of going, fancy some food?
A smirk and a nod later, and then Rob and Falcon walk of screen. The scene fades away...
~~~~~~~~~~
...before fading in to an image of Spike. He's sitting on a stool in a small room lit only by the open light bulb and his face is not a happy one. He doesn't even wait for the viewer to get used to the image before he begins roaring through his prepared speech.
Jack there's so much I want to say to you, so much I want to talk to you about but the words just won't come out. It's like every time I see you rage just takes over and shuts everything else down. There's just no way around it Jack, nothing to do with the state of my mind, nothing to do with the state of our careers, or should I say your career as mine is quite the legacy.
It just doesn't compute for you does it Jack? Yeah we're brothers, yes we looks alike but we both know that's where it ends. You value life on how many times you can knock up the nearest whore and how fast, whereas my life is valued by the championships I have held, the young stars I have mentored, and my family too. Broken right now, unlike yours but let's take a closer looks Jack. I have a wife, the one woman I've had sex with since Nola passed away, yet you you've knocked up two women in the same *** damn household! One of which is supposedly a lesbian, you know it really wouldn't surprise me if Freya's child is yours.
Because that's all you do Jack is f*ck people. Whether it be literally or metaphorically. Freya was an innocent girl before you came along, before you corrupted her with you're deviant ways. Honestly Jack, before you she may have had a crush on a guy or two but as soon as she moves in with you she's caught masturbating, she's caught romping on the floor in the middle of the house, in the pool....she gets used by some dick and you do nothing about it. I don't know why she never came to me, I don't know why she always decides to buzz around you like a fly on sh*t but I guess I could put it all down to the new and exciting thing, she likes you because your new....but trust me wants she has her kids she won't want her deviant freak brother anywhere near them.
Just like I don't want you near mine.
But that's besides the point Jack, I couldn't care less about Freya right now, all I care about is my wife and son. They mean more to me than anything, more than life itself. You are up to your old tricks and trying to turn my family against me, screw the fans they mean f*ck all as far as this is concerned, this is purely personal. It's because of one thing....
You will never be as good as I am.
I know you think your “winning” because you have a slut for a wife and several bastard children. Great man, yeah, you're “winning” at being white trash maybe. You like to think that your better than me because your vice was simply alcohol? Come on Jack, really? You fell for the easy one, the most readily available.....but it's not your only vice is it Jack? You claim to be straight edge but you know more than anybody else how insatiable your sex drive is, you practise promiscuous sex and damn...well, surprised you haven't tried to hump me yet! Your a hypocrite Jack, a fraud and quite frankly a failure.
This all began the moment you did something worthwhile didn't it Jack? When you copied me, when you did exactly what I did the year before....won the rumble and won the world title only to lose it to the first challenger to come along. Except this time you lost it to your brother, the older, more handsome and defiantly more skilled brother. Hell you barely even had it in you to go through with the match because you knew you didn't stand a chance, you couldn't compete with me and ever since that day ever since I pinned you squarely in the middle of the ring, clean 1....2....3...you've had a mad desire to beat me, at anything. Christ you'd take having a bigger penis as a huge victory, but the truth be told Jack....you've never beaten me one on one.
Ever.
And you never will, not if I have anything to do with it. This match you've put together is designed for mass amounts of pain, physical pain not the emotional and mental pain that we have to go through day to day. You think Conrad screwed you over? You think you got the raw end of the deal? You never had to go through what I did Jack....you were never beaten by him....you were never....
YOU WERE NEVER ABUSED BY YOUR OWN FATHER!
And you try and talk to me about wrong and right? You can go f*ck yourself for all I care Jack. In my eyes your a reminder of everything horrible that has ever happened to me, a constant annoying f*cking reminder and I'd have no greater pleasure than finally getting rid of you. Hell I'll be doing both you and nCw a favour, instead of them waiting for you to throw your next hissy fit and walk out the door because you can't handle losing, how about I just straight up cripple you on Sunday night? It wouldn't be too hard, or too bothersome for me...hell you know what? I think I may just waive my salary for Sunday Night. That's right nCw management, you don't need to pay me for Road to the Gold, hell no...because you Jack?
I'd destroy you for free.
Road to the Gold usually has significant meaning for championships, for those finally reaching the pinnacle of their career. Yes, I am sad to say that the peak of my career is behind me, but even in my darkest days I could beat you Jack. You like to believe your some kind of technical master, that your the greatest light heavyweight in the world, besides Venom of course....whom I took to a time out draw. Yeah, I took Venom to his limits, I've out wrestled two thirds of the young guns in straight up wrestling matches, I out wrestled AJ Phoenix in a submission match, and then of course we come to the people I've annihilatedlike Dark Prophet, Jack Manson, Davey Ortega and Vertigo Dirtmurder, to name but a few.....and each and every one of them is better than you.
OK, maybe not Vertigo.
No, you know what? Yeah including Vertigo! F*ck you Jack....
I hated you from the moment I laid eyes on you, I used our connection to steal the world title from you, and now I'll use that connection to finally end the nuisance that is the career of Worthless Jack.
Once...
…...and....
…............for all!
Cut. End.