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Post by Simon Daye on Jun 17, 2010 20:48:57 GMT -6
This is where I will be doing my "Simon Says" column. It'll be a little different as it will be solely based on judging promos. You just respond to this thread with the URL of the promo you want judged, and I'll edit the post and review it based on my special scoring scale.
Rules: -request 1 roleplay a week (between all your characters). -Do not request that I review somebody else's promo, only yours. -No whining about the review, I'm going to do my best to be brutally honest, so if you can't handle criticism, then don't ask me to review it. -only request a promo you did during the days mentioned in the thread title. -I will not randomly pick promos to judge, or judge one without being asked.
Grading:
Concept: Storytelling: Promoing: Development: Creativity: Simon Factor Bonus:
All categories have a max of 10 points, except the Simon Factor and length, Simon Factor is 5 bonus points. Concept: The basic premise of the roleplay, was it good, did it make me want to keep reading, did it get it's basic point across? Storytelling: How well you did at actually telling your story. How well the promo flowed and such. Length will be judged here. Promoing: The actual down and dirty trash talking, the stuff about the match, or the reason you're supposed to be promoing. Development: How well you developed your character with your promo, and how well you stayed with your characters established history. Creativity/Originality: Did you step outside the box and try something new? Did you just rehash everything that somebody else has been saying? This is going to be a very tough category to score high in. The Simon Factor:This is the "X Factor" about a promo, sometimes a promo is just good, and you don't know exactly why but it just clicks. This is a bonus category, scored out of 5.
so 5 categories for 50 points and the Simon Factor being worth up to 5 bonus points. So the Highest possible score is 55 points for a 110% grade.
Request: Please don't storm with 30 RP requests at once, lolZ.
Grading Scale: 100+ = S 90 - 99 = A 80 - 89 = B 70 - 79 = C 60 - 69 = D --------------------- 60 and above is what I consider "Good" 50 - 59 = E 40 - 49 = F 30 - 39 = G 20 - 29 = H 10 - 19 = I 0 - 9 = SUPER FAIL
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Post by Joe Everyman on Jun 17, 2010 22:06:18 GMT -6
I have teh balls for this. ncw2k7rp.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=suspense&action=display&thread=12861&page=1Concept: I really don't understand what this RP was supposed to be about. Was it directed towards Lance Ryan who you currently not feuding with, who isn't your opponent this week or is it directed to Louis Armstrong? Then the whole daughter thing, which I'm guessing is a ghost or vision of the future? It didn't really seem to have a purpose in the roleplay after Everyman had spent the majority of it talking crap to other people, he suddenly just sees a girl and fade to black? It just felt like there was nothing to tie this RP together, no feelings, notthing. Score: 3Storytelling: You did a good job with your addressing Lance and it shows that Joe had a high opinion of Lance and that's why he's so proud of beating him, however, you left your cliff hanger at such a point that nobody has any idea where you're going. A cliffhanger is supposed to make the audience wonder what's coming next, not leave them completely dumbfounded. You went too far into the dumbfounded part and it left me thinking... "I don't care, because It could be anything." Score: 3 Promoing: This was pretty good, the stuff directed towards Lance was well done. Spent too much time on him though. Your digs at Louis though were pretty lame. First you make the crack about thinking you were facing a jazz musician at first, then you say he's your favorite jazz player at the very end... so if he was your favorite wouldn't you know about him dieing in 1971 from the beginning so it obviously wasn't your opponent... I know it was supposed to be a joke, but it fell pretty flat, a lot of people have the same names as other famous people. I really think you could of done much better here, like you did against Lance at the top half. Score: 4.5Development: There was nothing... maybe the scene with the daughter, but you left it completely ambiguous with no idea where it's going. The second half will definitely clear that up, but since you have nothing here for this half, I have to judge it as what it is. Confusing for one, and for another it wasn't interesting because there was nothing to grip us except Joe's expressions. Score: 1.5Creativity: It was pretty much your standard promo. It had some lyrics in there, that didn't really seem to tie into the promo at all. Then you had the trash talking bit that was out of nowhere, which is good for keeping things mysterious which I like, but the scene again just seemed tacked on. I wont' penalize anybody because they stayed true to form, but I do think you could of added something to make this stand out. Score: 5.5The Simon Factor: Nothing wowed me, nothing really gripped me, it was just sort of there. I was left not wanting more, but wishing there was something else in front of my face. It started out ok, but in the end it just fell flat to me. Bonus: 0Total Score: 17.5 = 35% = GOverview: I think you could of done much better than this, I've seen you do a lot better in fact. I really wish there was something more to it, it seemed to be something missing the entire read. The words felt flat and emotionless at times, and the big reveal of the twist at the end which was supposed to be the gripping point I assume, just didn't do it for me.
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Post by Daniel S. Hunter on Jun 17, 2010 22:42:21 GMT -6
ncw2k7rp.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=suspense&action=display&thread=12852CONCEPT: It was supposed to be an introduction Promo, going over the past of Max and what led him to where he is now. I get that, and you did a good job of giving some insight to his past, so well done there. I do think you went a bit too far though. It got stale and hard to read at points because all the talk was boring and honestly meaningless, but the concept was there, and you did execute it. Score: 6.5STORYTELLING: The whole RP was about Storytelling, so this is where you really had to step up and wow people and you didn't really even come close to it. Some of his stats and accomplishments seem ridiculous... left me rolling my eyes and saying "yeah right" and then the parts about being recruited and what he's done with his life just felt like they kept going and I wanted to do anything but keep reading. I really think you should of cut out the entire life story and just focused on one event in his life in the intro promo and then work everything you were saying around that event. Would of been more interesting and would of flowed better. Also you could use some work on sentences and making them work better together, it really seemed like Myers would just stop and it read for lack of a better term "jerkingly" like it was constantly stopping and restarting. Score: 2PROMOING: There was hardly anything there. What you said though addressing Falcon was good. You did a good job of portraying some cockiness and talking about how strong you are. You did a great job of getting across that this is a muscle freak who depends a lot on raw power which is good. Maybe next time, add a bit more and a bit less of the just rambling on about his past. Score: 4DEVELOPMENT: It was entirely development and you did do a good job of protraying that he is insanely cocky, and that he's used to winning. That's some good framework. This isn't the point where I rip how it was said, or how it flowed, but just the general development of the character and I think you did a well enough job there. Score: 6.5CREATIVITY: There was no creativity... he was just standing there, with his pal, talking. Like I've said, this is going to be the hardest category to judge, you can't have some awesomely creative RP every week. However, I really think you could of done something else to help this... because there was nothing to it. Score: 1.5THE SIMON FACTOR: I thought it had a touch of cockynes and a touch of meanness that really showed through. I like that, there was something about this RP that said you were headed in the right direction, so that's a very good plus. Bonus Points: 3OVERALL SCORE: 23.5 = 47% = F+ THOUGHTS: It really wasn't as bad as the score might seem, it was just a lot of little things really dragged it down for me. I think with some good work, you can really stick with this character and turn him into a good one.
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Post by Keybo Shabaz on Jun 18, 2010 0:13:29 GMT -6
ncw2k7rp.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=collision&action=display&thread=12848Shameless self promotion!! CONCEPT: The concept was great, very dark, very mysterious and very creepy. I literally felt uncomfortable reading parts of it. I think the premise of this RP was to show just how demented, how crazed and over the top Karras is truly becoming, and it showed very well. The whole sermon was cool. Score: 7STORYTELLING: There is some really good stuff in there. The navy text especially did a good job of not only setting up what's already happened but giving Karras's thoughts right there for the reader. You set up what you were saying with the scriptures and you did a good job of keeping everybody wondering what was the deal with the hood and wanting to know what she looked like under it. If I had something negative to say, It'd be that his talking was a bit hard to follow at times, like a point of being too deranged. Score: 7PROMOING: Now here's where I sorta have to be negative. Who were you facing this week? If I wouldn't of known before hand I wouldn't have a clue. I think you got maybe twenty words directed towards JFK. That isn't so bad since Karras is a character who speaks of people in general terms so anything he said could easily be thrown at JFK, I just wish it would of seemed like he was more of a wrestler at points. I kind of loses it's focus at times to me. What you ended up directly saying to Karn was pretty good though. Score: 4.5DEVELOPMENT: A lot of development there. Showed some great character stuff with Karras himself, showed a lot of great stuff with Desiree, which I think a lot of people forget that the secondary character development is just as good as the main character, because the main character can grow around them and it be a reflection of him/her. So I think this was very well done. I don't know what else to say other than... "good job" Score: 8.5CREATIVITY: There is some good stuff here. I know a lot of efedders do the quoting scripture thing, but you did it well and it tied into what you were saying so that's good. Some things were just the basic Karras formula, but done better. The reveal of what Desiree looked like was handled well, very well. Score: 7THE SIMON FACTOR: This just felt right. It fit the character, it fit the situation at hand, and it just accomplished everything I assume you set out to accomplish. Bonus: 4OVERALL SCORE: 38 = 76% = CTHOUGHTS: Just a very well done Promo. There isn't much else to say about it really. I liked where you took it, and I enjoyed reading it. Some parts could use some work, listening to Karras talk got pretty hard to follow and hard to read at times, but it was kept short so that was good. Overall, it was good.
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Post by Andrew Jacobsen on Jun 18, 2010 0:19:49 GMT -6
ncw2k7rp.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=collision&action=display&thread=12870Take your best shot. CONCEPT: The concept was good, it wasn't anything special but it laid out your intentions for the coming weeks and you did some good things with showing how Andrew Jacobsen feels about the young guns and even Rob Diamond. There really isn't anything bad to say about it. Score: 7STORYTELLING: You did fairly well here, the bits about young guns were good because you established your hatred for them, why, and then ended on a good point saying you weren't going to stray from the path you set. You got some good stuff in there, my complaint would be that it needs to flow a bit better and show a bit more emotion. It sort of read like you were reciting what you were saying and not like it was just flowing from your mouth. Score: 6.5PROMOING: Clearly the strong point of this promo, you said a lot and you made your thoughts clear and to the point. You addressed Doc and you addressed his team, it was very solid. Only thing, and sadly this is a huge point for me, you mentioned that Doc hadn't promoed yet... Doc could totally do a Promo, set it to take place Sunday... and now your promo looks stupid. My rule of thumb... never mention your opponent not having promo'ed yet. Promo's are not set in real time. Otherwise it was good stuff. Score: 7.5DEVELOPMENT: There wasn't too much deep development, but the outer stuff concerning where Jacobsen is head was there, so it was above average, but not by much. You showed a lot of good stuff about how Jocbosen is being effected by everything that's been going on around him, but it still felt lacking Score: 5.5 CREATIVITY: It was pretty much the standard for you. Jacobsen talking, a few breaks in the dialog and then more talking. I've said, I'm not going to rip people too bad on this because you have a style and you stick to it, but do think you could of done a lot more, maybe change things up, maybe more interaction with another character other than having your brother wave to the camera at the end. Score: 4THE SIMON FACTOR: There was nothing wrong with it, said some good things. It felt like it belonged in this feud that you've been slowly building with The Young Guns and even Rob Diamond. Score: 1.5OVERALL: 32 = 64% = DTHOUGHTS: I was left wanting a lot more real life development for Andrew, it felt like something was missing because it was pretty much just the standard Jacobsen sitting in front of the camera and just talking to it habit you get into. I'd also like to see some more emotion from the man, maybe have his words sting a bit more having him get a little more fired up over something, anything to make him not seem like a robot at times.
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Brad Kane
Junior Member
...::What I Get::...
Posts: 332
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Post by Brad Kane on Jun 18, 2010 7:31:32 GMT -6
ncw2k7rp.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=collision&action=display&thread=12846Do me next and do me hard! Erm, I mean... I'd like to be reviewed... CONCEPT: Awesome. It fit perfectly with everything that's going on. There was a lot of emotion in BK's words, and you really got gripped by what he was saying about everything. Brad Kane talking about his pain, then going on to tie that into the pain that Steve has been feeling, that has driven him to become distant from reality. It was very good. Score: 9STORYTELLING: You told a great story, talking about the past and working it into the present storys. Showed how BK is hurting and had him wondering out loud why, why are these men driven to do what they're doing. It was not short of fantastic if you ask me. Even the bit with Andrews at the end tied in well. Maybe however, since Andrews is the new guy and hasn't even wrestled a match... a different character would of been better there, maybe somebody who is a believable part of everything that is going on with NCW at the moment. Score: 8PROMOING: The best part, you ripped into Steve, you ripped into the Front Office, and you made some great points about the angle. I really enjoyed the stuff where you told him what he was doing is not how real people act. You really hit the nail on the head with everything you said. The whole thing flowed well, it read fast and it was entertaining. Score: 9DEVELOPMENT: Got a lot of good stuff in, with BK feeling hurt after the firing squad, with how you felt towards Steve and why, and the stuff about feeling stabbed in the back by Xavier Cross. Everything was well done. It was Brad Kane, but yet it was like he was different, more focused, more driven to be fight for something else other than himself. Score: 8CREATIVITY: Nothing too "wow" worthy here, but the basic stuff was done well. You tied all the Front Office members into what you were saying and that's a plus. It was a solid offering, but nothing really special. Score: 5 THE SIMON FACTOR: Something made this roleplay great, it was well done it portrayed your point fantastically and there isn't really anything else I can say. Bonus: 3OVERALL: 42 = 84% = BTHOUGHTS: This roleplay was great, there is no other way to say it. I didn't have the feeling that something was missing, I didn't get the feeling that it needed more fleshing out, it just belonged as it was, for the match. It tied everything together nicely, job well done.
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Post by Charlie Velez on Jun 18, 2010 9:12:23 GMT -6
I have a low self-esteem, so completely destroy it now!: www.ncw2k7rp.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=collision&action=display&thread=12860CONCEPT: It was solid, and done well. Charlie is a stoic/calculating guy so him just sort of walking through a building, and just observing the things around him works.
Score: 8
STORYTELLING: It was long, kind of "too long" What you were saying was good, really good, but towards the end it kind of felt like it was becoming a chore to read and I found myself skimming, so I would have to go back and force myself to read what I just glossed over. The individual train of thoughts, flowed from one to another nicely, but the whole promo could of used a faster pace. However, like I said, Chalie seems to me to be a pretty stoic person so it kind of fits if you think about it. Needed something to break the monotone feel of it though.
Score: 5.5
PROMOING: Very good here, you did a good job of countering what Rob said, without pulling an Ace and saying "this is what you said? Well no, this is how it is". It was well done in making some counter points to his statements and overall I have to say it was a fine job. The stuff you said felt passionate and felt like it would actually be said and wasn't written out on a piece of paper.
Score: 9.5
DEVELOPMENT: Not a lot of out there in the open development, it was pretty much Charlie being Charlie, but a lot of deeper stuff. You could tell his resentment to the XHF comparisons, and you could tell how he looked down at Diamond as being immature and not really worth Velez's time. You have to really look deep for it, but it's there and it works for Charlie's personality.
Score: 8
CREATIVITY: There wasn't anything outstanding, it was the basic stuff with Velez. You had a nice bit about that caterpillar, and you did a good job of using logic to counter the sillyness of Rob.
Score: 6
THE SIMON FACTOR: Probably where the promo really stood out was here. I can't put my finger on it, but there is something about this Promo that screams out "good".
Bonus: 2.5
OVERALL: 39.5 = 79 = C+
THOUGHTS: It would of been better had it been shortened down at points, or if there was some interaction with other characters to break out of the monotone of just charlie walking and talking. Overall, it was very good and it stood out as such.
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JFK
Senior Member
Sucks to be you.
Posts: 950
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Post by JFK on Jun 18, 2010 12:43:25 GMT -6
ncw2k7rp.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=collision&action=display&thread=12871CONCEPT: I thought this was done well, I like the idea of having your promo take place in the middle of Charlie's, it kind of shows a lot of unity between the members of the super stable. I also really liked where you went with the trash talking bits, it was very nice how you described the "big takeover" as not by fighting, but as joining. It really made the revelation of the team up seem that much more devilish. Score: 8.5STORYTELLING: I like the reveal of why the Young Guns became a part of the front office, made a lot of sense in a real evil mastermind type of way. I even liked the bit of story at the end, I'm not quite sure what you were getting at there, I have an idea but I think it needed a bit more depth to it to get the point of it across. Score: 6PROMOING: Some really good stuff, but you kind of lost me on the Messiah of Hardcore part? I'm not sure what that was supposed to mean in the conversation, the other stuff was pretty good and it flowed well. Score: 6DEVELOPMENT: Other than the explaining JFK's thinking when he joined the Front office, there wasn't too much there. However what was there was well done. Showing JFK is dedicated to his wife was a nice touch, with him not wanting to go to the strip club. There was some other things and they did a good job too, so it wasn't bad at all. Score: 6CREATIVITY: Well done here, I mean JFK comes off as a heel, but he comes off as a decent person overall at the same time. It feels like you can relate with the guy and his goals, and desires. I thought the stuff directed at Karras was good and despite it being pretty much the same approach as most take "I don't need saving" that everybody else takes, in the end it came off better for whatever reason. Score: 7THE SIMON FACTOR: This RP was a perfect example of why I added this X factor category, because it wasn't long, it wasn't just jumping out at me all the time, but something about it just felt awesome. It was well written and it was just a fun read. Bonus: 3OVERALL: 36.5 = 73 = CTHOUGHTS: It was good, it's one of those roleplays where nothing really grabs you, but everything feels right about it. If you could of done anything better, it would of been with a more in depth scene with the fellow Foff guys, I was sorta wishing there was more of that after I was done reading. Also I'd like to note, you did a great job of keeping your RP flowing, it wasn't too long at all, in fact it almost felt "short" like I wanted more there because I liked it.
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Post by Tara Fenix on Jun 18, 2010 18:23:51 GMT -6
ncw2k7rp.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=collision&action=display&thread=12885&page=1Note: You're my opponent for this week, so I'm going to do my best to be completely objective and take myself out of this equation. CONCEPT: I like the concept here, Tara is hurting because she sees Angel hurting and she's struggling with this idea that a person she loves is in pain and there isn't really much she can do about it. It's a great concept, but it seems a lot like what I was doing with Zelda just a couple of weeks ago, just to a lesser extreme with Tara's emotions. It was good and showed a lot of feeling with Tara though, so I can't knock it really. Score: 7STORYTELLING: The story was solid, like I said above, Tara is hurting because she sees Angel in pain, however I think the execution wasn't all there at times. Tara comes off as such a thinker that at times when you try to have her show true emotion it comes out flat and I felt this here. It didn't feel like Tara cared about Angel, it felt more like that's what she was supposed to say. Score: 5PROMOING: I really don't understand where you're going with Tara sometimes. One roleplay she sounds like how she did when you first brought her in. Cocky, arrogant, confident, and cunning, this roleplay she didn't come off as any of those things, she seemed more timid and just... there. Is she a heel or a face? I can't tell anymore, I do know she's listed as a heel on her app. Score: 4DEVELOPMENT: There was some good stuff there. You showed or tried to show a lot of feeling coming from Tara and it's a different side of her that maybe we haven't seen before. However, I'm just not sure how well it works, for either Angel or Tara. Very short time ago the man was choking his pregnant wife and everybody was supposed to think he actually killed her, now it seems like he and Tara are supposed to suddenly be frail and hurt humans with deep feelings. Honestly, I'm just not buying it here, maybe it's me. Score: 3CREATIVITY: I don't know if it was too creative at all really. You had some good things with Tara and Angel which is good and the ending of the scene with him smiling was a nice touch. You did show a different side of her, so that's worth something and overall it didn't disappoint so it was good. Score 7.5THE SIMON FACTOR: I don't know, it just didn't feel like it was anything special. The promoing to the match felt... lacking. You opened up by saying you wanted some revenge on Ayla for costing you a match, but then you went and just told her how good of a wrestler she was? There is sadly nothing really here that made me think this was special. Bonus: 0OVERALL: 26.5 = 53% = ETHOUGHTS: Like I said in my notes, this was hard to judge as your my opponent for the week, but I really came into reading this RP expecting more and it just seems like you're doing a lot of stuff that is already being done by other characters. Maybe I'm just too close to this and not giving it a fair shot, but I would of liked to have seen more emotion from Tara, more of her feelings and to see her taking this in a different direction than a somber like. I wasn't a big fan of this Tara and Angel pairing in the beginning because it didn't seem to come off right to me, the man had just choked his wife yet Tara is deeply in love with him... now this can be explained as she's a woman and blinded by her feelings, yet... you spent a lot of time establishing Tara as an incredibly smart and independent woman who is always thinking things through, seeing her as... whatever this is... just doesn't fit that at all.
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Post by Alex Jones on Jun 18, 2010 19:52:39 GMT -6
ncw2k7rp.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=collision&action=display&thread=12843CONCEPT: Fantastic. This is an example of how you can tell a lot about a character without ever really describing a single expression. You could feel the hatred for Angel. You could really tell what this RP was about.... getting under Angel's skin, and it did it wonderfully. Score: 9STORYTELLING: You can't get much better than that. Like I said above, there was some great emotion and there was some points where I just could put myself in Alex's shoes. The ending... amazing. The little things like Hayleigh calling him "bad daddy", I could feel that from here it hurt so much. Score: 8.5PROMOING: First off, I think you got into the habit a lot of others get into when facing Burns, with the "you were carried to the tag titles by your partner" schtick. I wouldn't take off for it, but it just seems to be done to death. Everything else you said however was great in my eyes. The things directed to Burns really stung, especially the parts about Honcho and JP Rush (which is a nice pull from the past BTW). You also did a good job of putting across that you really had nothing against him, and were just going after Angel, but that also was pretty much the exact same thing Angel said in his RP. Score: 6DEVELOPMENT: Man, you did a great job of really taking the Alex Jones character up a notch without having to say much about what he was thinking or having to walk us step by step through it, you could just tell it from his words. Which was fantastic. Then the bits with Hayleigh... well done. Score: 9CREATIVITY: Everything you did in this RP was well done, I'll still have to take off for the Generic Burns dig, but I'll have to really give you credit on how you portrayed AJ seemingly going off the deep end without having to say anything close to that. Score: 7.5THE SIMON FACTOR: This has Simon Factor written all over it. Just the little touches here and there and the great writing was really driving this RP. It wasn't long, it wasn't short, and nothing felt forced. The flow was there from beginning to end. Bonus: 3.5OVERALL: 43.5 = 87 = B+THOUGHS: I loved it.... that's pretty much it.
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Freakke
Senior Member
The PunchLine
Posts: 818
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Post by Freakke on Jun 18, 2010 22:14:49 GMT -6
ncw2k7rp.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=trauma&action=display&thread=12891&page=1CONCEPT: I liked it, I like how you're doing something different in these RPs by having Freakke being tormented by Hexx and Happy. It was well written and pretty funny too. Score: 7STORYTELLING: You did a good job at the overall story, there was some good stuff there and funny stuff on top of that. It goes well with the other RPs you've written and it stands out because it's different. Score: 6PROMOING: Was this for a match? Does Freakke wrestle this week? I don't know, I'm not sure if I even remember much of a mention of an actual show. In a heavy story promo you still have to work in some mention of the actual match, and if it not for the X-Division title being in it, I wouldn't know they were wrestlers. Score: 3DEVELOPMENT: The RP was story heavy, so there was a lot of development and I think for the most part you did a good job of doing what you intended to do. It came off nicely and smoothly. Score: 7CREATIVITY: Very creative, using Hexx and Happy wonderfully and the them kidnapping Frekke just isn't a normal everyday occurrence. The comedy bits were good, especially the bucket of KFC. Score: 7THE SIMON FACTOR: It was good, it fit, it wasn't amazing, but it really felt good. Bonus: 1.5FINAL SCORE: 31.5 = 63% = D OPINIONS: It was good, it wasn't great. I liked almost everything about it. I'd have liked to see more mention of the actual match, but overall nothing to really complain about.
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Post by Xavier Williams on Jun 18, 2010 22:16:38 GMT -6
ncw2k7rp.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=suspense&action=display&thread=12887Why not... CONCEPT: The overall feeling of the RP was good, nothing great or special but good and had some well done insight to how Xavier thinks. It had a lot of character without using many words. Score: 7.5STORYTELLING: What was there was good, but I don't know how well it works on just a storytelling basis. There wasn't anything bad about it, but there wasn't anything that stands out either other than telling how Xavier's mind works on subjects such as the big story everybody had been mentioning in their RPs. The roleplay was short, but it was a good short. Score: 6.5PROMOING: Really well done, definitely my favorite part of the promo. In every Xavier Promo you're able to say a lot about him without really saying too much, and the parts directed towards Falcon really felt strong. This was the only part of the RP where I might have wished you fleshed out a bit more, just because the stuff you did have was so well done. Score: 8DEVELOPMENT: There wasn't much, but what was there was well done. You were able to develop Xavier some in both the story and the promo parts of it, which is always good. Score: 6.5CREATIVITY: It was pretty standard here. You had some nice dry humor at parts, and you had a cool story, but they weren't anything too grand. I liked it, it was good, just not note worthy. Score: 5.5THE SIMON FACTOR: There was something here, that just clicked. It was Xavier Williams. I could actually feel like this was a real person and wasn't some dude typing on a keyboard. I like that. Bonus: 4OVERALL: 38 = 76 = C OPINION: I thought it was very good, I felt like the promo half was a little short, but it really hit it's mark. The story part, there wasn't anything bad to it, but I'd like something there to have the story and what is said tie in a bit more. Overall it was a well done effort.
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