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Post by Andrew Jacobsen on Nov 1, 2009 13:27:11 GMT -6
I figured it was about time I started one of these up. Feel free to leave any suggestions or comments on my RPs here.
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Post by Andrew Jacobsen on Nov 26, 2009 22:45:55 GMT -6
Bump, seeing as I have had not ONE SHRED of feedback. Please, people. I need this. I know I'm not the best, and I want to improve, so please feel free to leave any comments or suggestions about my RPs for either Andrew or Tempestad.
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Post by Maniac on Nov 27, 2009 6:24:34 GMT -6
First bit of feedback, please label which rps belong to AJ or Temp, I took the liberty of doing so to your last one I hope you don't mind.
Second, I liked the Temp one, I liked where this character could go.
Third, any advice I could give at this moment is perhaps try to give your rps a little more beef, if you know what that means. Their good but I feel like they could have something else, something more. Perhaps a bit more talking or maybe some action going on or even a little bit of a story going on. I know some people hate to do story rps but sometimes they can be very fun.
I hope this helped, I'll be sure to feedback you more in the future too.
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Post by Andrew Jacobsen on Nov 29, 2009 22:41:22 GMT -6
FEED ME, SEYMOUR!
New RPs for Tempestad and Andrew up. Make with the comments.
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Post by Andrew Jacobsen on Jan 5, 2010 21:21:11 GMT -6
[bump=shameless]Ayup.[/bump]
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Post by Steve Awesome on Jan 13, 2010 21:04:42 GMT -6
Dude.....I'm a fan of Andrew Jacobsen. I think you have a good grasp on things and the only thing you can do is improve as time goes on.
Good job beating Rob and when you beat Bates, i'll evolve from big fan to obsessed stalker.
Pressures on.
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Atreyu
Rookie
We'll wear our scars, like medals of hope
Posts: 15
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Post by Atreyu on Jan 15, 2010 8:24:51 GMT -6
I've been pretty impressed with you since you came in. i prefer the Andrew character to the Temp one, but that's just personal taste. +20 Bonus Points for the Little Shop of Horrors quote. Your latest rp was an enjoyable read, first thing I did when I got to work this morning Worth the wait, most defintely. It's obvious why your X-Division Champion, and to be honest there really isn't much to say. I can't really think on anything to improve on, just gotta develop the character as much as you can now.
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Post by Keybo Shabaz on Jan 22, 2010 10:56:47 GMT -6
They couldn't sell a ticket if every one came with a free blowjob from...okay, slut of the week is Ayla St. James, so I'll go with her.”
You have officially lost my support in any and all things.
[/madface]
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Post by Maniac on Jan 22, 2010 19:37:00 GMT -6
YOUR AWESOME!
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Post by adm on Jan 27, 2010 8:26:02 GMT -6
I really enjoy rping against you. The appeal to intellect and looking up of words for humor's sake is just...golden. If only I knew other words to hit on Emma without being discovered so easily...
Good job man, we're gonna kill em.
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Post by Andrew Jacobsen on Feb 3, 2010 9:31:58 GMT -6
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Post by Andrew Jacobsen on Feb 9, 2010 23:48:54 GMT -6
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Post by Maniac on Feb 12, 2010 5:27:56 GMT -6
For the record, Angel was kidding when he said he was going to kill you, hence the inner monologue laughter.
Otherwise, fantastic week and good luck.
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Post by disdonn on Mar 4, 2010 0:12:41 GMT -6
Wasn't letting me post in Cbox when you were on so....nice job this week vs Brad, if you win, I'll be taking notes
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Post by Andrew Jacobsen on Mar 23, 2010 21:22:41 GMT -6
*insert shameless plug for feedback here*
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Post by adm on Mar 23, 2010 23:34:02 GMT -6
Ok, Mcawesome...here's your feedbacks: Of my OPPONENTS (not counting Zane) You're the best rp so far
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Post by Andrew Jacobsen on Mar 29, 2010 12:04:34 GMT -6
First X-Division Title match RP up, "All Too Human". Read and feed, ladies.
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Post by doc on Aug 20, 2010 7:29:15 GMT -6
I liked the direction you took AJ in your last RP. I know you're aware that some people thought it was hard to get a feel for the AJ character's personality in the past, but I could definitely get a feel for him there. Somtimes you still slip in stuff like
"I can make you tap out in pretty much any situation. I know all thousand and four holds."
which read more like someone writing an RP than a person speaking. If you can cut that stuff out and keep going you'll be a monster in no time. Keep it up.
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Post by doc on Sept 25, 2010 3:22:52 GMT -6
Both of your RPs were awesome. I enjoyed the match a lot and I hope we get the chance to do it again sometime.
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Post by Cliff Clinton on Feb 6, 2011 20:15:26 GMT -6
Hey dude....I just wanted to say that I was very impressed with your rps this week bromes. You went hard this week and I'm proud of you.
It was a pleasure to work with you Jason.
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Post by Angel on Feb 11, 2011 23:32:12 GMT -6
Just wanted to say that your AJ rp this week was amazing and I really enjoyed the direction you took AJ and look forward to the story growing and evolving going forward.
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Post by Paul Star on Mar 5, 2011 5:01:09 GMT -6
I really enjoyed your RP this week. It was a good read, and the interaction between AJ and Emma is well done and very much believable. Good work mate.
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Jack Manson
Senior Member
It's the one that kills, not me!
Posts: 914
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Post by Jack Manson on Mar 5, 2011 12:43:42 GMT -6
Nice work AJ. Hopefully we get to go at again soon! I think you've got this one this week
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Post by Andrew Jacobsen on Mar 19, 2011 21:13:24 GMT -6
What am I doing wrong?
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Post by Paul Star on Mar 20, 2011 7:41:31 GMT -6
I think your first RP of this week was great. Andrew had some great attitude, and there was some edgy wit. I liked that a lot. After both our first RPs had been posted, I thought you were on your way to beating me. In my opinion, your second RP is where you dropped the ball a bit. Although still a fairly good RP, it didn't measure up to your first.
Your writing style is great. I can't fault it, and I enjoy reading your RPs because of your writing style. What I think you need to focus on is that attitude and wit that Andrew showed in your first RP this week. Don't hold back from saying what Andrew is thinking, like you did in your second RP. Just go for it, and insult the Hell out of every opponent you face.
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Post by Andrew Jacobsen on Mar 26, 2011 23:03:07 GMT -6
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Post by Paul Star on Mar 27, 2011 6:44:18 GMT -6
Your RPs were both brilliant this week. I'd go as far as to say your RPs are the best this week.
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Post by Paul Star on Mar 30, 2011 3:51:50 GMT -6
Your first RP this week is another great one. All you said about Venom was very well delivered. You've really raised your game recently, and you deserve another title run.
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Post by Cliff Clinton on Mar 30, 2011 6:06:57 GMT -6
Great job son! ;D
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Post by Emma Danielson on Jul 5, 2011 23:34:48 GMT -6
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