Rp Improvement Essay Series

[Joe Everyman]

You know, what you said is completely true. It's unbelievably hard to stay complete, 100% face all the time. I tend to say some "heelish" things in my RPs, but I try to stay as face as possible. Maybe I should be a tweener

[adm]

Oh, and before I forget...please give me more ideas for essays or suggest an rp you did and think could be improved for a more complete set of feedback from me, including a "score".

If you don't have any ideas I only got 2 "good" ideas left...unfortunately, so I'm trying to space them out as much as possible till someone recommends something, even if it's a retread of my CD or Description essays.

[Maniac]

On a side note, I consider Angel a face based on what I call the "Raven Factor" where there are a large number of fans who love him no matter what he's doing.

As for Rob, HE'S NOT RACISTS!

I'm done.

[adm]

Roleplay Evaluation Essay #1 – KLB rp; “Breaks My Heart”


Ok, here’s what I’m going to do, just so I can be as “fair” as I can be as far as giving you an idea of what I look for in an rp, and also try and explain what some of the staff told me about an rp…I will be one to rail and fully evaluate one of my own rps as to show you the method to the madness that will come with any of the RP evaluations to try and “better” what you are doing. This isn’t feedback, so much as picking apart a roleplay and trying to find what is good, bad, and ugly with it. I will be rating it based on a system of 50 points. 5 Categories, 10 points per category and they do NOT have to be whole numbers.

The categories are: Originality, Entertainment Value, Grammar, Character Development/Fitting to the Char or style, and finally Descriptions.

Of the five categories none are “weighed higher” in point values, but some are more personal preference than others, such as Originality and Entertainment. Fitting the character would also mean I’d have to, if not be fully familiar with your character, have my own “assumptions” of what the character may or may not do. A lot of these areas are covered in other essays, save the entertainment, as that is very hard to teach.

Also, a few staff members have told me a few things about rps and how they judge. Most don’t IGNORE grammar, but if there are so few errors that don’t interfere with the roleplay, they will overlook it. They also don’t like repeating yourself too much in one or multiple rps during a week so overdoing it with a certain phrase or idea, could push some of them to get angry…but this is only what I was told, it may not be 100% FACT…so don’t worry if you try to use a cinematic “rule of 3’s” approach like me where you say something 3 times and try to make it impact more each time.

ncw2k7rp.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=collision&action=display&thread=8546&page=1 If you want to look over my roleplay and grade as you go along with me, go right ahead…but it’s just for reference so you know why I gave grades I did.


Originality: 9.0/10
To be honest, I do feel reading this rp…after writing so many LIKE it…that after a while some of the ways I write Bates get old after say…20 or thirty roleplays. The way the descriptions are all monologue and voiceovers, the way it is structured as most of the CD near the beginning then work on promo near the end. It is why I occasionally add a song to tie the rp together to mix it up a bit. It’s still a very original style…but occasionally, even to the guy who WRITES the damn things…you need to freshen it up. I suggest possibly doing a more comprehensive “mild changeups for an rp” essay in the future…something like the RP styles but…for adjusting the style a little so it gives it more flavor.

Entertainment: 9.8/10
Again, not perfect, but somewhat close. Seriously, I did feel it drag just a little bit near the end…perhaps a bit too wordy, maybe a few things coulda been cut here and there, but overall it was really really good. I’m actually surprised I can hold my own attention re-reading something a few weeks old…amazing.

Grammar: 9.3
Indeed, I am not blameless. I could definitely fix the way Bates speaks, either in internalized monologue or out loud. He speaks in a few fragmented sentences, and there are a few cases where “and” could be placed before words. Not perfect…close…but no cigar… Though a good thing is…most people voting on the match will completely overlook anything over an 8 or 8.5…so…proves maybe I might need to lower the standards from “novel” to “rp” somewhere down the line…or maybe I could just stop being a hardass to all of you in feedback.

Char Devo/Fits Char or Style: 8.7/10
Yes, sad to see me grade myself less than a 9 on my own rp…but I must say I break character a little bit by possibly restraining him too much. I’ve also noticed, looking back, that the code I used of roman numerals and binary to say “BATES” and “Bates wins 7509” could have been better placed like they are in more recent rps of mine. It shows that even going back…a few weeks, I can see that there are issues that I am still working on within my rps and style as I grow, evolve and change to suit a match/story arc. But on the GOOD side of this, the way I used the bold to reiterate the “Breaks my Heart” ties together the overall feeling of the roleplay, and his feelings, giving it a way to fit him in his usual unique fashion of INCREASING VOLUME of his voice for what some may think are random words, but are actually well-thought points where words may be used to help.

Descriptions: 9/10
Meh…some got wordy…too wordy. I understand where Ed comes from when he tells me to tone some of it down now. Some of them were right size, some could have been expanded just a word or two more, and some…need to be trimmed about a sentence or two…and let me remind you…that week I was in a tag match where I lost…though now that I know what happened with AJ, I know I did my best and that’s all you ever can do is that and be happy, win or lose, and I am still happy.


Total Score out of 50: 45.8 - 91.6% or an A-


I got an A-. Great…even I fail to be perfect and to be honest, it’s one of the best rps I’ve ever done. My grading may be harsh…but I do realize that yes…it needs constant improvement, even week to week. But looking back, maybe I may be a bit more…relaxed on some of these for future examples…not TOO relaxed, just…a little.


Other notes: Indeed my grading scale is tough…but most people would get at least a B, as it is very hard to screw up some of these categories even with the utmost nitpicking (specifically the fitting of the character and use of CD elements). I task the admins, if they want after a few of these, see if I need to put more of a “curve” on the grading…even though I realize I probably should grade a bit easier and maybe provide better feedback when I do one that is not my own.


Usual plug: And here we go...Send in suggestions for rp improvement essays, or nominate yourself or a specific rp of yourself for evaluation if you so desire, but be warned, I will give more in-depth feedback and criticisms(as well as for others besides myself possible points of what could be done to improve) than I would in the typical feedback thread...considering this took like an hour to do...

[Xavier Williams]

i nominate me.... I need a reason to punch my computer...

[adm]

Jun 30, 2009 23:15:50 GMT -6 Xavier Williams said:

i nominate me.... I need a reason to punch my computer...

You think you suck that bad? nah...if you want a reason to punch your computer...read a recent Diamond rp...as a black man you'll be so offended you wanna choke him through the screen.

[Joe Everyman]

I nominate one of my RPs to get picked apart...I don't care which one or how old, but preferably one I did good ish on

[adm]

Before I forget to say something...NO I will not do rps during the week that they are voting...cuz I feel it may keep admins from being able to leave feedback on what they thought of my review, positive or negative. So only for weeks that the results have already been posted...so the one you did this week, Joe...I'll get next week or later if I do it. I'll have to write you and X down for noms...along with your brother

[Cliff Clinton]

I already put in my request too.

[adm]

Lesson # 10 – Double-Digits time…Dark Characters…a Hoppy requested how-to


How did I not realize that Hoppy (Fergus Callaghan formerly Mark Evil) would ask me to do this one? I mean…really. ANYWAY, it’s time to TRY to evaluate what makes a good, “Dark” character. Now to tell you the truth, even I wonder why the hell I’m doing this, but I cannot neglect a good solid request and feel that with my experience on what does NOT work, maybe I’d have a few ideas. Now…before I go and piss everyone off by going off on why my dark characters worked/didn’t, I’m going to go through OTHER PEOPLE’S good and bad ones first. And after that…I will try and assemble a list of good attributes.

Homeless Harold – OMFG, why did you stop being Homeless Harold, Gib? You were the nightmare of everyone here…truly, we feared you. You were the monster under Bates’ bed, and in Steve Awesome’s closet. Harold was a nightmare come to life. He did whatever he wanted, stalked people, and wore that creepy ass mask. And add the sheer size and badassery of him mixed with the awesome grammar and writing of Gib’s many years of experience and BAM…pure gold.

Mark Evil – Sucked…not because he wasn’t DARK but because most of what he did was shock value. I constantly felt like he wasn’t being dark, but…just trying to be a cliché of what is and isn’t dark. I know he tried, hell I even tried to help him sometimes…but sometimes you can’t save things that shouldn’t be…and Evil…should stay dead…

Shaddix – Shadow master, huh…kinda “cliché” right there too. He did a good job with some of the dark stuff in his early rps, before he took it down the drama/police story type of direction and completely loses me. And then…he goes out of his way to do shock value stuff in his rps like having his friend shot and killed, or showing up in a room with a dead body…it just seems like the later Fate stuff I did, all shock, no real true horror. I like you better non-dark...seriously.

Angel (Yes…I’ve considered a lot of his rps on this vein) – When he, Burns, and Perfect Freaks were feuding the last few months, he took a turn down probably the darkest path he’s gone in forever. He was UNSTOPPABLE, and still is. He mixed Angel’s troubled past, home life, and elements of Tommy from Rescue Me into one amalgam of a man that was nothing short of the “ghost whisperer” on steroids. Read the rp where he talks to the many ghosts of his wife…if you don’t get creeped out just a little, you have no soul.

Nero – Do I need to tell you where my tutoring and suggestion of using Raven as inspiration gave AJ an edge while he was rping as Nero…I miss you buddy, come back! But seriously, he took elements from Raven, and some elements he liked from DP and put his own spin on it. You can’t get much better(or shorter) than a Nero rp…and the conciseness of some of them just made him stand out so much I incorporated the short length into DP’s revamp.


Ok…time to get hard on myself and really hammer down…time to unveil my reviews of my own chars…oh ****ing god…it’s gonna get brutal.


Disdonn – Nobody really knows about this guy very much, but I did use him in a rookie fed for a while. He was…OK…he had a decent gimmick with the tarot cards and I incorporated some stuff I did in the past with DP/Fate using the Silent Hill type town of Dwayberry to my advantage. He came from an imaginary place…he saw the future through tarot cards…and he was really freaking emo. He had pros, and cons.

Fate - Ok, I will enclose a link to most of Fate’s rps that were out of nCw below. Let’s just say…everything else is on the boards from the months of July 08-Septemberish 08. He had some good to him. He was creative, inventive, and really freaky. The only PROBLEM was how freaky he was, doesn’t fit a fed like nCw which prides itself on realism. Killing homeless people that were really trash bags while on a psychotic hallucination and being chased by cops only to crawl through a hole in the wall to Iowa…great. Fighting with his inner demons and alternate personality that can move/change the world around him, AWESOME. His trip to hell and back when he won the MECCA World Title in the GoldRush Match with the 3-rp Badassery…Gold. But most of everything after the War Games match where I did 4 rps in a week, detailing his re-rise from nearly being suicidal…really wasn’t that great. I’m kinda glad he blew his brains out when he lost the match for the GWF world title…he’s dead…and gone..forever.
admfate.741.com/

Dark Prophet – I don’t have most of his older rps…anywhere. I’ve had him in so many feds it’s unreal…but…DP is ****ing classic. I dunno, he’s like the Coca Cola or Pepsi of Dark Efed chars that never die. He’s taken a few long hiatuses, and more recently “been crippled” only to come back slightly creepier than ever. With every revamp comes a completely different “spin” so…I’m gonna try and evaluate most of them.

Old School DP – From the beginning in 2002-2004ish when he won his first title. He was a lot like he is now…just…lamer. He was a good start…but really didn’t have some of what he needed to win.

Middle-of-the-road – Yeah…DP in 2005 was probably the best DP till today. He had been in DBW, and finally won a world title cuz he actually deserved it… He also was probably more heavy and hardcore than ever. First Asylum…balls-out great. Though…not THAT great.

The downward Spiral – 2006-2008 was a spiral of crazy short-term gimmicks that didn’t pan out. He was a crazy doctor that was hell-bent on killing his former foes from feds and /or turning them into blood/gore human art. He was a raping/murdering psycho who won the WVWF title before raping/killing his mom and then trying to have a match in the house he murdered her in. He was a psycho that really didn’t come off as too psycho in nCw where he feuded with Spike claiming to be the God of Xtreme…pretty much, all suck with a few moments of great here and there.

New DP 2009 – I like this guy. I LOVE this guy. Short…to the point. Dark poetry, like DP classic started and carried through many incarnations. He is narrated by “The Prophecy” or some other omniscient force outside himself that sees past/present/future and the incorporation(thanks to Ed suggesting) of the Doc Manhattan chapter in Watchmen Graphic Novel…he’s just going to keep on being pretty damn difficult to combat with his creepy poetry that throws people off and the way he can..at least for now…predict the future. I think this is what DP should have always been but I sucked/was too much a rookie to do. Now…he is whole. But Homeless Harold still would trump him any day!


REAL Wrestlers I suggest anyone who is thinking about doing dark either avoiding or mimicking:

Boogeyman – Avoid him like the plague. It reminds me of early DP so bad I wanted to sue WWE. Eating worms…speaking in rhymes, talking about being the boogeyman…yup…that’s old DP for you…era 2004/2005. Plus…he really was more funny than scary.

Undertaker – I know Pav will hate me, and I hate to do this, but AVOID AT ALL COSTS! Undertaker is/was/will always be one of the best, if not the best, dark real wrestler. But do NOT mimmick him fully in any fed…it’s become so cliché to do that…if you do look to him for anything, think of ways to take it in your own direction

Raven – Use him for reference…he’s amazing. Especially with the “NEVREMORE” thing…I seriously modeled a lot of Fate’s “Vestri Fortuna Est Supervenio” stuff at the end of every promo he did for so long cuz of Raven. He’s one of the best.

Abyss – Hit and miss here…take some, throw some away. He’s a good example at points, but sometimes he’s just nuts.

Mankind – Abyss on steroids…the original madman. Foley is God…nuff said, use him.

Sting (The silent one) – Yup…you hear it from me right now, best sting EVER. I loved him when he just popped out of nowhere and was quiet. I really don’t know how to use this except for segments on shows, but it’s good stuff to use…

Kane – Same as Taker in many ways as far as the “cliché” but there is some stuff he did around the See No Evil movie that was great, and when he came back as the Big Red Monster in like mid to late 2008 he had some monstrously creepy promos.


Ok…now that I’ve gotten most of that out of the way…the “Who is good real and efed”, I want to get to the brass tacks. What makes a good/great dark character?

Number 1 – Avoid Clichés: This should be obvious, but try to avoid the cliché dark stuff like Taker has done for so many years. Just appearing out of nowhere and not talking or saying they will “rest in peace” is so overdone by fed guys it’s not even funny. Also try to avoid using graveyards, morgues, and other “typical dark venues” for an rp. Try to build contrast by using something happier, hell even a playground, to have your dark character in as a backdrop…that or just do the standard “in hotel” promo or “in gym” promo and go from there.

Number 2 – ORIGINALITY: If the Cliché part wasn’t enough to tell you, you need a character that is at least partly original. They need something that isn’t seen much (which isn’t a lot these days) and they need to be able to latch onto one or two good things that make them dark, that can keep them going for a long time. Not many people have ever really successfully mimicked DP’s rhymes…and very few people can have a hallucination like Fate. And nobody can be just as out-right scary as Harold standing outside your window or infiltrating your house. You gotta find something that works, something that is original (or mostly original) and work from there.

Number 3 – The Look: Ok…so everyone realizes most people use a specific generic dark look. Hell, even most of my dark characters have been goth/emo looking guys. But…if you are going to stand out, you need to at least TRY to be different. The way DP and Fate did it, though they were goth…they had the non-traditional pic bases of musicians like Danzi, Trent Reznor (at times for DP) and Chris Cornell. Stuff like the pic base can help. Another thing…maybe just having their attire being a contrast to the darkness. Have them wear bright colors, but be this evil thing inside.

Number 4 – Being Dark isn’t about Shock Value: Seriously…if this isn’t a cliché by now in nCw it feels like one. It seems just about every “dark” Character including my own (Fate) has done something of shock value to get attention of people when he’s falling out of “the limelight”. Screwing dead bodies, finding dead bodies, having people die in your rp either via cop killing them, drive by, suicide, whatever…as well as being against the rules, is also not anything more than shock value. Mark Evil stabbed and nearly killed Scotty Callaway a few months ago. It was more shock than actual dark or “horror/scary”. Watch a horror movie…the real horror isn’t the killing, it’s what happens before…or if you leave the killing to your imagination. Think about the end to Se7en. You never SEE what’s in the box, but you know. You know and you can’t prove it but you KNOW. And…it scares you, it hurts you, you feel things cuz of it. That’s what you need…to do something off-camera or through that to be scary, if you want to be scary…

Number 5 – Scary isn’t Dark…not always: Well about the scary thing…Dark doesn’t have to be scary. It can be cryptic. The kind of crawl-up-spine that makes you think there’s a ghost in the room. Think of it like the difference between something being happy and sad. Dark…is not always scary, it can be a good thing. It could be Tarot, it could be ghosts, it could be mythology…anything “unexplainable” and slightly creepy or “unknown and unexplainable” if in the right hands could be dark. Morbidity is just one aspect of it…an aspect so often used sometimes a non-dark dark like KLB when he gets a bit…psychotic…could be used.


That’s all I can think of for now. Hopefully this helps someone…and hopefully Mark Evil stays dead…damnit.

[Maniac]

Amen brother.

I got a suggestion for you, team role plays. Be it tag teams or stables. Meaning, someone using his partner(s) charcter in his role plays and using them out of charcter, accidently making them something their not. For example, someone in a stable, in another person's rp, being treated less than steller, and you knowing as the reader that that character would slap the taste out of the other guys mouth.

[adm]

I'll probably get to that one sometime then...I'll put it down lol.

Also as far as Rp requests right now I've got generals from just about everyone and Steve wants me to tell him why he won rp of the year last year. So...fun fun fun.

[adm]

Lesson #11 – Team Rps (About using other people’s chars in your rps)


Ok, this is a special request from Ed…who is on staff. Apparently this happens a lot so I will take a quick moment to address it and also to try and give some pointers on this one.

Apparently lots of people, who are in tag teams or stables, will use the characters of their partners in crime (whoever they may be) and do a half-assed job as it. Well for one, I will tell you this right now, part of it is probably poor research or that they just ARE NOT THAT CHARACTER. But…that doesn’t make it excusable to go and make your “friend” look like a mook while you handle them as a cameo in your rp. This isn’t going to be too long but I have some suggestions for improving the “use of other characters you can use in your rp” for you.


One – Start talking it over with them. If you talk it over with your partner, whatever, and let them see how you portray them to get approval, suggestions, it might help.

Two – Read their latest rps and get a feel for how they would react and use them according to the recent events.

Three – Just don’t use them. You don’t HAVE to have your “partner” or “Friend” in your roleplay if you are in a stable. Even if you are a tag team like Dirty Deal, you don’t HAVE to have the other guy…always with you. It actually looks BAD when he is because it makes us wonder…just why they never get time ALONE (even married couples need that).


It sounds simple, but I’m sure cuz it’s short and simple…nobody will get it right…so on to the next topic…


Lesson #12 – LENGTH (nother special request…)


OK! As if my “Quality over quantity” short wasn’t enough…it’s time to revisit that nagging subject of LENGTH. Now…I’m sure you who will be reading and want to know “how long should my rp be?” will get no answers. I cannot TELL you outright what is a good length that will win you matches, or keep you from getting long-winded and, let’s face it, possibly boring.

Let’s start it simple: How much is TOO much…well, I’ll tell you this right now. 5000 words is TOO MUCH. The ONLY time that should ever be allowed is if this were a 1rp a week fed and it’s technically 2 or 3 rps smashed into one giant cluster**** that you are meant to read in parts. But even then…it is TOO DAMN LONG! We’re not writing novels, we’re writing roleplays. And…think of it this way, people, EVERY staff member who votes on matches (Ed, Mark, Steve, Adam, and Josh) has to read your rp…possibly TWICE! Now they read EVERY rp. EVERY one of the rps…for EVERY match…now they have lives, girlfriends, jobs, etc too. This is not their JOB, this is their FUN. We should write rps that ENTERTAIN them and don’t bore them so much they fall asleep and can’t read anymore. So…if you think everyone does like 2000 word rps…everyone who rps for a match does at least one, on a good week, 2 (PPV is 3) and you multiply it out…that’s 4000 words PER CHARACTER PER MATCH! There are like, 20 active members and at least 10-15 of them rp full load, every week. 30 rps…2k words each, that’s 60k words the staff has to read just to vote on matches. That doesn’t include people trying to leave feedback, reading for fun, or killing time, whatever. So…just think before you write exceedingly long rps.

Also…I guess I should point out…the AVERAGE rp length for most members of the roster is about 1500 words…give or take. I didn’t go in and actually COUNT the words on every rp just posted, but…let’s just say from the ones I HAVE it’s ABOUT 1500…and I’m sure most people could do what they do in just a little less to.

But LENGTH is not going to win you matches…chances are being longer, doesn’t make it better. Chances are you are more prone to make the simple mistakes of repeating yourself and your “threats” against your opponent, bogging it down with extra details and extra CD that could be taken and done over time or…whatever.


But remember, the rps are based on QUALITY…and the LONGER they are…the more chance your quality throughout can start to drag is greater. So for those who really WANT to know what I think is a good rp length to shoot for…for MOST characters, between 1000 and 1800 words…more than that tends to drag, even if you are a vet of however many years like Spike…go over 1800 and you start dragging (unless of course it’s a cluster where you’ve got like 4 opponents)


There…a ****ing two-for…now to get on to finding then ripping apart the best rp of 2008…


Suggest topics or specific rps of yours to be fully evaluated (I will wait at least till after a match is done before evaluating the latest batch if you so want that recent of rp grading).


So have fun…and *** damnit…I’m not perfect so please…if any other staff wants to hop in here and give their opinions on these matters I will definitely appreciate the feedback/input

[adm]

Roleplay Evaluation Essay #2 – Steve Awesome’s Rp of 2008: "Ironic"


Ok for those following at home here’s the categories and the link to the rp. The categories are: Originality, Entertainment Value, Grammar, Character Development/Fitting to the Char or style, and finally Descriptions.

And his rp can be found here: ncw2k7rp.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=ppv&thread=6302&page=1


Ok on to the evaluation:

Originality: 9/10
I dunno…something about Steve and Kaos is original enough though it’s an old-hat type of humor to keep this out of the gutter. It’s pretty much a “reply all to Angel” rp…so it’s not entirely original but it definitely gets the job done.


Entertainment: 10/10
Yeah, you got me…I actually laughed at a LOT of this, and didn’t feel it dragged too much. Notice…my scale hasn’t changed but my grading is just a little less strict than on my own rps…I wonder WHY (looks at anyone who criticizes me for being a hard-ass).


Grammar: 9.5/10
Sorry, Steve…but you’ve made a few mistakes using wrong words in wrong places…but be happy I’m not as stingy about this as I could be…Examples: Waists should be Wastes; a few Your that could be You’re; etc etc…I know…I know…****ing grammar nazi…be upset if you must…but be happy I gave you a nice solid number. (Looks again at anyone who called me a nazi lol)


Char Devo/Fits char or Style: 9.8/10
Why .2 shy of 10? Why? Why? Uh…cuz there was an odd break in the middle that kinda switched the rp style up a bit and that can indeed be a bit jarring? Also…I felt the link to youtube was…well…completely unnecessary. I mean…really…Step by step? Oh well…call it me being a bit of a hard-ass again.


Descriptions: 9.5/10
Some really good ones, but I feel there were a few of the longer ones that were…well…really short for a lot of time and then long periods of talking. It sorta fit the style but…just a pet peeve of mine to see too many of the “Smiles, Smirks, tilts head and talks more” stuff or HUGE blocks of paragraphs without description breaks, even if it’s something as simple as him taking a breath and winking...


Total: 47.8/50 or 95.6% a NICE SOLID A.
A great score, nice solid A for Awesome Yes…it’s probably one of the better rps I will be grading…and I have NEVER READ IT BEFORE IN MY LIFE…swear to god.


Final words: I’m still not sure…whether or not he’ll actually like what I had to say or not, but he did ask me to try and grill him and tell him this rp sucked. Well it didn’t…but it was multi-parted and an amalgam of styles that fit the situation Steve was in at the time of last November. Seriously…it was really good. I haven’t re-read or read enough from 2008 to say it was the best of 2008 but…it definitely is a lot better than most, and somehow…you managed a LONG RP without getting too boring.

[Spike Kane]

How about rp of the year 2007? ....mine

[adm]

Jul 23, 2009 16:28:46 GMT -6 Spike Kane said:

How about rp of the year 2007? ....mine

Do they actually "yearly awards" for the 5 months or so it was open in 2007? Wow...I feel old now...so should you. I'll get to it...eventually lol...I already did enough today...

[Spike Kane]

Yes 2007 had a whole "yearly awards" thing, hence why Trent decided to do half year awards in 08

[Cliff Clinton]

LOL.....I forgot that I put that Step by Step link in there. I guess it was to show how much fun they had on there date.....but really...you can attribute that to me being weird.

I could have just used a break instead, without the link...but yeah...

Thanks Bates....I didn't think that rp would get as good a score as it did. I guess it did deserve to at least be nominated.

[Maniac]

It's not from 2008, but I'd like to have you evaluate the "I Sold my Soul" series of rps I did going into Sovereign

part 1 ncw2k7rp.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=ppv&thread=7660&page=1
part 2 ncw2k7rp.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=ppv&thread=7696&page=1
part 3 ncw2k7rp.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=ppv&thread=7727&page=1

and if you get the chance this one
I am Become Death ncw2k7rp.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=collision&thread=7911&page=1

actually, just pick the one you like the best and evaluate it, if you will.

[Spike Kane]

Man I've only just read this whole thing, I can't believe I'd never read it properly before. I'd like to think I do a lot of the stuff mentioned in Jeff's posts but there are times when we all just lose it and go off the track. Take for example when fighting Dark Prophet my roleplay was far too long, far longer than it needed to be. Luckily it was decent enough to pull the win out but that's a one off, if I did that every week I'd burn out, and as has been obvious in nCw's past I have burnt out.

Now I have a rought estimate per rp on how many words it should be. If I reach that limit but find I still have a lot to say then I'll carry on but try and limit it.

You truly are the man for doing this, above and beyond the call of a roleplayer or even a fed vet. Props dude.

And you never did evaluate my rp which has a lot from this tbh, different styles, using a movie and a book for inspiration

[adm]

Thanks,

And there's a reason I haven't done any in a while...I kinda ran out of stuff to say...and nobody's been really reading/requesting stuff.


I think I even remember the exact reason was cuz of all the new guys who showed last spring/summer.

[Freakke]

I'm almost tempted to say evaluate my performance thus far but I believe it a shallow farce so far as I haven't done anything of real value. I changed gimmicks so early because I feared I was going to eventually play it out and I wanted to save the clown for some later date. Plus, I wanted to make the character more assertive.

[adm]

Roleplay Evaluation Essay #3 – Spike Kane’s Rp of 2007: Reopened Wounds


Before I get into the actual evaluation, I’d like to make a comment about the OOC comment about his rp being partially re-used material, which I will ignore for the purpose of this review, but usually look down upon as re-using pieces to an rp just seems like cheating to me.

Now…for those following at home here’s the categories and the link to the rp. The categories are: Originality, Entertainment Value, Grammar, Character Development/Fitting to the Char or style, and finally Descriptions. And his rp can be found here:
ncw2k7rp.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=collision&action=display&thread=4953


Ok on to the evaluation:

Originality: 10/10
There was a lot of stuff here that could have honestly come from ****ing E.R. or some other show that’s on TV. And that is not a bad thing, this is something that tugs at the heartstrings and brought a tear to my eye with how realistic it was portrayed, even with old rp parts used for flashbacks, it was really damn good.

Entertainment: 10/10
I’m going back to what I said on the last one here, this was a very superb rp. The way you described the past effecting him, then cutting to it, and going back. The way you talked about how Lance was screwing with your head and didn’t care, I could feel for Spike, and that’s what you call a great rp.

Grammar: 9/10
The stuff that was newer was a lot better grammar, but the stuff from the XHF/Past rp/flashbacks had areas where a quick once-over on the grammar would have given it a perfect ten for this as well. Easy to miss, easy to forgive…I mean a 9 is still a low A if you go by percentages.

Char Devo/Fits char or Style: 10/10
From what I recall of old Spike in XHF days and such, this fits right in with what I associate with a poignant and emotional Spike. When he’s badass he’s different, but when it comes to his one dead son…well…he goes ape **** and doesn’t care.

Descriptions: 10/10
As said before with the first two categories, I loved the descriptions, and even the way the words used from talking just…gave the feeling of breakage in Spike about this whole incident. It is a very good and well-laid out rp, and I kind of miss Spike in action a lot because of this. Not that Atreyu sucks or anything, I like him too, it just kinda reminds me what happens when people need to move on from the older, veteran characters. It’s something you definitely could aspire to do after a while with Atreyu for sure.

Total: 49/50
I’m pretty sure this is like the highest score I’ve given…and Spike, don’t think I gave it to you cuz it’s you, I poured over this rp two reads over the course of the day (morning before class, night after eating supper) and couldn’t find anywhere else to really take away. This was by far, the most nearly-perfect rp I’ve seen out of you, ever. Good job, and hopefully if people read the rp through the link, they’ll agree with me and want to improve to get to that standard.


Final words: Well…other than that I am open to suggestions so I can start back up with doing these things (as for topics, rps you want evaluated and for the love of god don’t do like Mark/Ed have done and give me “series” to evaluate). I’m open to suggestions, save doing series rps…if you want one of a series, let me do it as a stand-alone, and pick the “best”. I’d crit my own work again just to give more ideas of what I’m looking for/at, but there’s enough here now to get the idea. So till next time, keep improving, and keep looking for ways to get on to the next big thing.

[Ayla St. James]

Me next! Me next!

ncw2k7rp.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=ppv&action=display&thread=9484

[adm]

You're on the list...top of it even...I'll get to it...sometime soonish I guess.

[Joe Everyman]

Feb 4, 2010 21:36:38 GMT -6 @adm said:

You're on the list...top of it even...I'll get to it...sometime soonish I guess.

I should be at the top, I asked for it like, a year ago >.>

[adm]

ask again, I'm too lazy to look for your rp you wanted...and link it so It will be easier

[Maniac]

Review anyone of my rps you think is the best, I'd love to know what you think.

[adm]

you both are making me have to do a lot of work looking for a 'best" rp...cuz that'll take some digging. Seriously, for Angel and/or Rob it'll be Riot or sooner, Joe might be vs Lance or sooner

[Joe Everyman]

Either pick one of them when I faced Lance (And won preferably ) or when I was in the World title match. Either will work