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Post by Bannedingo on Feb 18, 2008 20:09:26 GMT -6
*walks around on namek collecting dragon balls, finally when i gather them all i call the dragon*
Dragon: what are your wishes bunghole?
Vertigo: bunghole!?
Dragon: thats the name i have on file for you..
Vertigo: whatever, ok, i wish i was Vercurkurck Norris again, i wish i had a cheeseburger. and i wish Angel was here but had no lungs.
*Vertigo transforms into Vercurkurck Norris holding a cheeseburger then angel appears on his back under Vertigo's foot gasping for air. the dragon drops to the ground and counts. 1..2..3 Vercurkurck flys off on namek then throws a spirit bomb onto Namek*
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Post by Angel on Feb 18, 2008 22:17:27 GMT -6
Angel: Dammit... Lucky for me I'm Angel Christ, and I can do anything.... But in the meantime I'm going home, gonna have a burrito, perhaps give Jesus his powers back, then take a nap. See you tomorrow...
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Post by Bannedingo on Feb 19, 2008 19:55:33 GMT -6
*Legion blows Vertigo right to hell and pins his ashes. 1..2..3*
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Post by Joe Everyman on Feb 20, 2008 21:47:55 GMT -6
*Joe runs in and superkicks Vert...er Legion...er...V?*
Joe Everyman: Eh, whatever
*Joe pins all three, 1...2...3! and runs off with the title*
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Post by Bannedingo on Feb 20, 2008 23:40:02 GMT -6
*the second he turns around he runs right into Legion and the knife he was holding. Joe slowly falls to the ground bleeding and legion pins. 1..2..3. Legion pulls a batman with his cape and disappears*
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Post by Steve Awesome on Feb 22, 2008 13:15:38 GMT -6
Zombie Steve Awesome walks up and tosses his severed head at Legion who is secretly in a tree. Legion falls out and Awesome pins. 1...2.....3!
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Post by Joe Everyman on Feb 23, 2008 0:59:27 GMT -6
*Curtis Kanyon comes flying in and GORES! Awesome*
Curtis Kanyon: BANG!
*Curtis, now as DDK, walks off, allowing Joe to pin Awesome. 1...2...3!*
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Post by Steve Awesome on Feb 23, 2008 21:57:07 GMT -6
Zero Tolerance runs in and "Face Manglers" DDK. Then he proceeds to beat up four more of Joe's friends because he is that badass. Then Steve Awesome sneaks in and makes the pin.
1....2.....3!
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Post by Angel on Feb 23, 2008 23:25:41 GMT -6
*Angel is in the middle of having a burrito when Steve Awesome comes running into taco bell with the hard core title. Angel takes one of the crappy hard tacos that comes with the burrito, and nails Awesome in the face. Awesome falls over grabbing his eyes. *
Awesome: MY EYES!!!!
Angel: Yes, your eyes.
* Angel qucikly pins him, the clerk, Brad, counts. *
1..2..3
Brad: NEW HARD CORE CHAMPION! Ow, here's your change.
Angel: It was a tip, a good one too, for such a ****ty taco.
* Angel grabs his burrito, takes one more bite and throws it out. *
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Post by Joe Everyman on Feb 23, 2008 23:35:25 GMT -6
*Joe then comes flying in our of nowhere and hits an RKO on Angel onto the trash can with the burrito in it. He covers. 1...2...3!*
Joe Everyman: Woo! Well...off to Burger King
*Joe walks outside with the Hardcore title, gets in a car and drives to a local Burger King*
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Post by Angel on Feb 23, 2008 23:52:20 GMT -6
Angel: Every damn time... This is why I stopped coming here.
Brad: How was I to know?
* Angel punches Brad. Gets in his car and rips out of the parking lot. Angel pulls into Burger King. He takes out a picture of Joe Everyman and heads inside. He sees an old couple, and approaches. *
Angel: Have you seen this... Everyman?
Old people: Not a funny reference.
* Angel sees Everyman in the drive through. He lunges over the counter, and right out the window. The cameras can't see whats going on. All we can hear is...
1..2..3
* The back door opens, and Angel goes running through the parking lot with the hard core title. *
Joe Everyman: I think... I think I was raped...
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Post by Steve Awesome on Feb 24, 2008 19:35:18 GMT -6
Angel finds himself in a forest. He gazes affectionately into his hardcore title.
Angel: Nobody will find me here.
But something in the reflection gets his attention. He turns to look.
Angel: A giant squirrel?
On a closer look its Steve Awesome ins a squirrel costume. Steve leaps up into action hiting Angel with his nuts!
1....2.......3!
Moral of the story: Steve Awesome's nuts will kill you!
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Post by Bannedingo on Feb 25, 2008 0:39:25 GMT -6
ok, Angel and Awesome are the best hardcore champs..period. but anyway.
*Chuck Norris comes in and kicks Awesome's nuts off. then pins him, a REAL squirrel, Foamy The Squirrel. counts the pin. 1..2..3
*Chuck Norris flys away into the sunset with the hardcore title on his back, gripping Awesome's nuts in his left hand*
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Post by Joe Everyman on Feb 25, 2008 22:18:19 GMT -6
I agree with Vert...for once...also!
*Joe aims a magical sniper rifle, which was fired from behind Chuck but made the side of his head explode*
Joe Everyman: Suck that Chuck!
Scotty Callaway: Dude, where did you find that rifle?
Joe Everyman: It was laying behind some crate in a warehouse in Dallas.
Scotty Callaway: So...it's the gun that killed JFK?
Joe Everyman: Wasn't there like three shooters?
JFK: Hey!
Joe Everyman: Oh, hey James.
JFK: Did you say I got shot?
Joe Everyman: No, I meant the former president.
JFK: Oh...
*Joe then shots JFK's knee out. He and Scotty get into a car, drive over to Chuck's now exploded head, and Joe pins him. 1...2...3! They drive off*
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Post by tylerjacobs on Feb 26, 2008 11:34:22 GMT -6
*God smites everyman and scotty and pins.
1...2....3
Spike then spike impailers god and pins....1...2...3!
Woooo.
Spike steals God's power and ascends to heaven
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Post by Steve Awesome on Feb 26, 2008 17:16:48 GMT -6
Spike stands in Heaven looking down at the onslaught. Then suddenly with his new God like powers his spider sence tingles and he looks behind him.
Spike: A giant Squirrel?
On a closer look its Steve Awesome still in his squirrel costume and he leaps up and smacks Spike with his nuts!
1.....2......3
Moral: Steve Awesome's nuts will STILL kill you.
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Post by defunctlies on Mar 1, 2008 8:43:02 GMT -6
Jack Hammond is wheeled in actually playing a Hammond Organ, and breaks into some free-form Belgian jazz. Awesome is then flattened by a crowd of Belgians who rush in with cheese toasties to enjoy the music, clicking fingers and making approving noises.
Jack presses a button keep a loop playing and jumps over to Awesome, covering him, one of the Belgians turning around wearing a ref's t-shirt, clicks his fingers; 1-2-3!
Jack jumps back up onto the wheeled organ and is pushed off, still playing jazz, followed by the crowd of Belgians.
(thank you Bill Bailey)
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Post by Markus E. Reeves on Mar 1, 2008 9:25:57 GMT -6
*Mark Evil steps up and sees Jack Hammond surrounded by Belgians. Mark Evil summons his evil powers and obliterates all of the Belgians leaving on himself and Jack Hammond but Mark teleports away and finds Steve's nuts.*
Jack Hammond: Where did he go?
*Just after he says this Mark Evil hits Jack in the back of the head with steve's nuts and goes for the cover*
1...2...3!
Moral of the Story: Even in other people's hands Steve Awesome's nuts will still kill you
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Post by Spike Kane on Mar 1, 2008 9:59:59 GMT -6
Mark bumps into Spike who ducks as a swarm of welsh people charge towards him and a stand he hasbehind him shouting
"HAM AND CHEESE!" (© Bill Bailey)
Spike steps on Evil and does Jericho's cocky pin...1.....2......3!
Spike picks up the title and runs off into the large group of welsh people.............and sheep.
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Post by Steve Awesome on Mar 1, 2008 13:08:12 GMT -6
Meanwhile the squashed steve awesome in a squirrel costume pulls his head off the cement and gives himself a big shake to reinflate himself. He looks around and sees his hardcore belt is missing.
Awesome: "Well it's about damn time. Can't believe I was champ for five days. Tell me thats a record!"
He smirks.
Awesome: "All thanks to my trusty nuts. I keep them stashed away in my sack down here and I......."
He looks up into the camera all wide eyed and scared like as dramatic music cresendos in the background.
Awesome: "They're Gone!"
Awesome gets up from the ground and runs off in a random direction. And thus the search was on. His nuts far greater than the hardcore title for now. Besides he was it for five days and with this title thats a-freaking-mazing! So now he must somehow reclaim his lost nuts becase his nuts can kill. And the slightest touch can be dealy.
So when you put Steve Awesome's nuts in somebody elses hands, you have to be gentle.
We fade on Steve Awesome dissapearing on the horizon.
"Not Without My Nuts"
Fall 2008
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Post by Markus E. Reeves on Mar 2, 2008 9:35:58 GMT -6
*Mark Evil jumps out of a tree and dropkicks Spike in the face*
Mark Evil: How you dare you use welsh people against me.
*Mark Evil Superkicks one of the welsh people who explodes*
Mark Evil: You are no match for me Spike.
*Mark then uses his mind powers to kill all of the welsh people but leaves the sheep alive*
Spike Kane: Don't hurt me too bad Mark.
Mark Evil: Oh I won't
*Mark Superkicks Spike and then hits the Hardcore Revelation on Spike and covers*
1...2...3!
Ref: Here is your winner and new Hardcore Champion "The Human Genocide Machine" Mark Evil.
*Mark then notices Spike laying on his stomach. Mark then picks up the sheep and places it onto Spike back*
Mark Evil: I see who the real sheep of this relationship is.
*Mark takes a picture of the scene and sends it too everyone in the nCw*
Joe Everyman: What the Hell. Oh My God Spike is getting plowed by a sheep.
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Post by Spike Kane on Mar 2, 2008 14:21:59 GMT -6
Hmm....
Spike wakes up from his sheep raping to find Mark Evil beating his meat.
Mark Evil: I can't help it, your just so attractive Spike, and I love beastiality!
Spike; not now douchefag!!
Spike rips off Mark Evils head and shoves it up the ass of one of the sheep before pinning Mark Evils carcass. 1....2.....3.
Spike then cuts up Mark Evil and places each body part up the ass of an individal sheep, before kicking Joe Everyman in the balls and walking away. Traumatised forever, but hardcore champ again.
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Post by Markus E. Reeves on Mar 2, 2008 14:28:31 GMT -6
Spike turns around and walks right into a Mark Evil Superkick*
Mark Evil: I can't believe you killed Mark Goode like that.
*Mark Evil pins Spike*
1...2..Kickout!
Mark Evil: What the ****!
*Mark the shoots Spike in the head with a shotgun and covers*
1...2...3!
*Mark Evil becomes a 8 time Hardcore Champion*
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Post by Spike Kane on Mar 2, 2008 14:30:14 GMT -6
Spike: Why'd you pin me if it was Mark Goode? R-Tard!
*Dies*
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Post by Markus E. Reeves on Mar 5, 2008 0:46:13 GMT -6
Mark Evil: Wow I've been Hardcore Champion for over 57 hours. I guess its time to take out the trash.
*Mark takes Jack's mom out to dinner*
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Reckoning
Full Member
White Gangsta
Posts: 545
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Post by Reckoning on Mar 5, 2008 19:53:28 GMT -6
*Drives over Mark Evil in a Semi and technically pins him with the truck for a three count*
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Post by Joe Everyman on Mar 5, 2008 22:31:39 GMT -6
*Joe pops up and fires an RPG at Reck's semi, blowing it and him up. Joe runs over and finds what he thinks is Reck's torso. He pins it. 1...2...3! Joe runs off with the title*
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Post by Steve Awesome on Mar 6, 2008 10:38:19 GMT -6
Steve Awesome then runs up and clips Joe's infected toe nail with his clippers of doom.
Joe thusly dies and Steve thusly pins. 1....2......3
Then Awesome jumps to his feet cluthcing the hardcore title. And thusly he slaps Scott Calloway and then purposely misspells his name directly in front of him because he is a jerk.
Awesome: Hey Evil! Try being hardcore champ for a whole week and then talk junk!
He scurries away to a place that nobopdy will ever find him. But of course they will because this is a spam bored!
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Post by Markus E. Reeves on Mar 6, 2008 23:29:56 GMT -6
*Mark Evil finds Steve because Mark is money. Mark drops Awesome on his head paralyzing Steve and covers*
1...2...3!
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Reckoning
Full Member
White Gangsta
Posts: 545
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Post by Reckoning on Mar 8, 2008 8:36:45 GMT -6
*Reckoning re-animates himself as a zombie on Hard on Resident Evil 4, making himself unkillable. Reckoning then proceeds to bite into the flesh of Mark Evil, and then tea bags him, before siting down one last time for a ball-in-the-face pin. 1, 2 ,3*
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