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Post by defunctlies on Mar 8, 2008 11:25:13 GMT -6
Jack Hammond walks in calmly, wearing a pair of heavy-duty ear mufflers and carrying a CD player and a pair of speakers. He sets them down in front of Reckoning, pressing 'play'.
"Time for Tellitubbies! Time for Tellitubbies!
Jack lets the song play until Reckoning's head explodes and flops backwards. Jack places a boot onto Reckoning's chest and pin's him, 1-2-3!
Jack sits down next to the speakers, holding the belt, leaving the brain-exploding song on loop, and playing at hugh volume, deterring any attackers.
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Post by Markus E. Reeves on Mar 9, 2008 0:02:02 GMT -6
*Mark Evil uses his mind powers to blow up the speakers. The Shrapnel from the speakers kills Jack Hammond. Mark covers*
1...2...3!
Mark Evil is now a 10x Hardcore Champion
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Post by Angel on Mar 15, 2008 15:07:56 GMT -6
Suddenly Angel walks into the room behind Mark Evil.
Angel: Hey Mark.
Mark Evil turns around, ready for a fight.
Angel: Calm down. I see your a ten time hard core champion, just like me.
Mark: Yeah, so?
Angel: Want a taco?
Mark: Whats the catch?
Angel: SPLAH!!!
Angel kicks Mark right in the balls, then drops him with an Evenfllow DDT. Angel then pulls Mark back up and nails a Twist of Fate. Pins. ONE TWO THREE!!!
Angel: Not only am I now an eleven time champion, I also used real wrestling moves. HA!!! Suck on that Slap Nuts.... s**t now Jeff Jarrett is gonna sue me....
Angel grabs the title, which some how is clean after all it's been through.
Angel: All I gotta do now is avoid zombies, headless men, sheep, Steve Awesome, and god... Shouldn't be too hard.
We fade in on Angel sitting at a bar in a gay night club. Angel is surrounded by men in clothes that are WAY too tight for men. Angel looks really uncomfortable. He looks around.
Angel: No one will find me here.
Angel suddenly he notices Falcon on the other side of the bar having a drink.
Angel: The f**k?
Falcon: What?... Uhhh....
Falcon quickly runs off and jumps into the emergancy exit door. It flies open and he takes off.
Angel: Almost no one will find me here....
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Reckoning
Full Member
White Gangsta
Posts: 545
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Post by Reckoning on Mar 15, 2008 15:24:33 GMT -6
*Reckoning, being a headless zombie, wanders aimlessly. Everyone knows that gay men have the tastiest brains, so Reckoning goes into the gay bar and finds Angel. Reckoning throws a couple of sporks as if they were ninja stars. Angel goes into slow motion but the sporks do not, stabbing him in the face. The de-headed Reckoning walks over and pins Angel for the title!*
Reckoning: BRAINS!
*Reckoning then devours everybody's brains.*
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Post by Joe Everyman on Mar 15, 2008 15:27:54 GMT -6
Joe then walks in with an old XHF's NWS shirt on. He walks over to Angel.
Joe Everyman: Hey dude, have you seen any of these guys?
Joe hands him a few photos (James Mueller, Reckless Jack, Spike Kane, Curtis Bauer, Magnus).
Angel: Can't say that I have...why are you here?
Joe Everyman: It was an old group, this was our meeting place...why are you here?
Angel: It's my new hiding place...
Joe Everyman: Hmm...
Joe and Angel stand awkwardly for a minute.
Joe Everyman: Do you mind?
Angel: Eh, just get it over with.
Joe then punches Angel in the gut and walks off to find Reckoning.
Joe Everyman: Where the hell...
Joe then walks out of the bar and finds Reckoning. He kicks him in the back and hits a reverse Twist of Fate. He pins him.1...2...3!
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Post by Angel on Mar 15, 2008 15:40:07 GMT -6
Angel gets up off the ground. He pulls the forks out of his face, the founds heal T1000 style. Angel: Son of a bitch... I'm not gay... I'M NOT! F you.... Angel walks outside. The headless Reckoning is there, walking into a wall over and over again. Angel: Hmmm... This is FOR THE DAMN SPORKS!!! Angel grabs Reckoning and throws him in front of a passing Semi. Reckoning is completely obliterated. Angel: Serves you right dick. Angel then walks across the street. He then sees Joe Everyman inside a 711, eating a snickers and drinking a slurpy, the title around his waist. Angel opens the door, and quickly puts on a hat and sun glasses. Joe looks over. Joe: That guy looks like Angel.... Your not Angel in disguise are you? Angel: Who? Me?... No... I'm... SPLAH!!!!!!! Angel clothesline Joe Everyman. Everyman gets up, Angel back body drops him on the counter. Angel climbs up on top of the counter and lands a standing moonsault. The attendant scans Everyman's ass. Muhammad: That'd be... ONE! TWO! THREE!!!!.... Dollars... Angel: Thanks count.... Angel grabs the title. Muhammad: I said three dollars sir. Angel pulls out a five and hands it to him. Muhammad gives Angel his change. Joe Everyman is up. Angel sweeps his legs damn Karate Kid style. Everyman falls off the counter. Angel: Well it was nice talking to you Joe, but I gotta be going. SINGING IN THE RAIN!!! Kicks Joe in the stomach and runs out the door. Angel: Now somewhere new to hide... Fade out, Fade in. Angel is shopping? Angel: I'm in a Kmart. Bet they don't even know where to find one... MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
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Post by Angel on Mar 15, 2008 22:24:00 GMT -6
Angel is walking around Kmart when he spots a really cheap knock off of one of his shirts.
Angel: Assholes. Didn't even ask.
A little kid taps him on the back. Angel whips around and almost punches him. He sees he's a kid.
Angel: Hey, whats up?
Kid: SPLAH!
The kid kicks him in the balls. Angel falls to his knees, the little kid DDT's Angel and pins him. The kid's mom counts. ONE TWO THREE!!!
Kid: Finally Texas Toast Terry Gordon has won the NCW Hard Core title.
The little kid grabs the belt and holds it up. His mom raises his hand. Angel is up and grabs him by the head. Angel throws the kid into a near by shelf full of shoes. Angel walks over and grabs the kid. He holds him in the air.
Angel: Your not a kid, you a midget.
Midget: TEXAS TOAST TERRRY GOR...
Angel throws the midget up and lands a massive RKO. Angel pins him. ONE TWO THREE!!!! Security starts heading towards Angel.
Angel: ****... Gotta find somewhere new now.
Angel makes a B line for the door....
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Post by Joe Everyman on Mar 15, 2008 22:48:16 GMT -6
Just then, Joe flies in though the door in a golf cart, hitting Angel at full speed. Joe jumps out and quickly pins him. 1...2...3!
Joe Everyman: SPLAH!
Joe then full on kicks Angel in the nuts as hard as he possibly can. Joe then runs over and jumps onto one of the checkout counters. He then jumps off and hits a Swanton Bomb on Angel. Joe then gets up and puts the Hardcore title between Angel's legs. He then continuously kicks Angel in the nuts.
Joe Everyman: SPLAH, SPLAH, SPLAH!
Joe then grabs the title and calmly walks off.
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Post by Xavier Williams on Mar 15, 2008 23:08:21 GMT -6
RUNNING YAKUZA KICK TAKES JOE'S HEAD OFF!!!
Jimmy Bower: DANGEROUUUSSSSS!!!!!!!!!
Xavier walks away, holding the head of Joe Everyman, he then tosses it into a trashcan and walks into the sunset
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Post by Matt Shannon on Mar 15, 2008 23:20:21 GMT -6
Jason Kidd walks in and shoots lasers out of his eyes and zaps Xavier Williams into thin air, making him the nCw Hardcore Champion by default.
Out of nowhere, a baseball is thrown 100 MPH right at Jason Kidd's head, knocking him out. George Dunpork and Craig "Senior" Mueller run over and double cover him. "The Excellent Gordie" Gordon Heath runs in and makes the count.
ONE...TWO... THREE!
The Sports Nutz are now co-holders of the Hardcore Championship!
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Post by Xavier Williams on Mar 15, 2008 23:32:03 GMT -6
In never pinned Joe... I just beheaded him
*no sells everything that just happened to him*
FIGHTING SPIRIT!!!
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Post by Angel on Mar 17, 2008 5:53:14 GMT -6
Angel gets up holding his balls. He looks around at the destruction that has just happened inside this Kmart. Joe Everyman gets up and looks at Angel, they both shrug.
Angel: What do you want to do now?
Everyman: Coffee?
The scene fades out, their sitting in Starbucks discussing how gay Falcon is.
Everyman: The little Mermaid? Really?
Angel: Yup. That so freaking strange right?
Everyman: Yeah but like all three of them were watching it together? Like three dudes just watching the Little Mermaid?
Angel: Thats what I said.
Everyman: Wow man... Wow...
Angel is looking at Joe, and it occurs to him that these two have finally become friends.
Angel: Hey Joe?
Everyman: What?
Angel ****ING SPLAH!!!!!!!
Angel throws his hot coffe in Joe's face. Lunges over the table and starts beating the hell out of him. Joe is clawing at his face. Angel gets up grabs the table and starts pounding Joe with it. Angel throws the table and starts kicking Joe. Climbs on top of another table and nails a Macho Man flying elbow drop. Angel pulls him up and irish whips him hard right through the glass to the outside. Joe starts trying to get up but Angel foot ball kicks Joe in the side of the head, Randy Orton style. Angel pins. Jeff, the clerk counts.
ONE! TWO! THREE!
Angel goes inside and grabs the belt.
Angel: Oh, Joe, movie nights is tuesdays at my place, hope to see you there.
Angel runs off through the parking lot looking for his car.
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Post by Joe Everyman on Mar 17, 2008 20:16:30 GMT -6
Joe slowly gets up, his face bloody and burned from the coffee. He holds his head for a second. He almost falls over from the hits he took.
Joe Everyman: f**king splah? Man...if Falcon was here, he would proubly take that as an invite. Now, where did Angel go...
Joe starts walking outside of the Starbucks. He goes over to his car and grabs out something that looks like an air tank. He slowly makes his way to Angel's car.
Joe Everyman: Hey Angel...I know what movie we should watch tomorrow night
Angel: What's that?
Angel turns around and faces Joe. Joe then raises the nozzle and puts it to Angel's forehead.
Angel: Oh...dear...god!
Joe then clicks the handle down and a steel rod fires in and out of Angel's forehead in less than a second. Angel falls onto the ground with a gapping hole in his forehear, pouring out blood. Joe then drops down and covers.
ONE...TWO...THREE!
Joe Everyman: But yeah, I'll be sure to be there tomorrow night
Joe grabs the title and puts it over his shoulder and grabs the tank again. He then walks off across the parking lot.
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Post by msjsn3 on Mar 17, 2008 21:34:33 GMT -6
Sexy Jason was waiting for Joe Everyman as he is walking in the parking lot.
Joe did not see Ford Pickup truck that Jason was in. Jason opens the driver side door and Joe runs straight into it!
Joe falls to the ground! The title falls off of his shoulder. Jason Picks Joe up and rams his head in the door. He then takes Joe to the front of the truck and slams him on the hood! Joe rolls off of the hood and Jason covers 1...2...3...
Jason takes the title...He notices a dent in his hood and begins to kick Joe!
Jason gets in the truck and sit there for a little bit!
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Post by Steve Awesome on Mar 18, 2008 2:33:35 GMT -6
Steve Awesome steps up and punches Sexy Jasons truck causing it to blow up.
Awesome becomes the new hardcore champion!
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Falcon
Full Member
You haven't seen anything yet.
Posts: 636
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Post by Falcon on Mar 18, 2008 16:04:46 GMT -6
The impaction from the explosion throws Steve Awesome a hundred feet from the truck. Falcon, exiting Kmart wearing a brand new knock off Angel t-shirt and holding the recently released from the disney vault Blu-ray copy of the Little Mermaid, catches his fellow employee, saving him from a painful fall. Falcon moves to call 911 like a good boy when he realizes..
Falcon: Hey.. the hardcore title..
Falcon looks left. Then right. Then quickly pins him.
1...2...3!
THEN he calls 911 like a good boy and takes off down the street before the medics arrive.
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Post by Joe Everyman on Mar 18, 2008 20:11:49 GMT -6
A car is seen rolling up to an apartment building. The car stops in one of the few opens spots in the front. The engine turns off and Joe Everyman and Angel step out. Both are wearing very nice suits. Both Joe and Angel walk around to the back of the car and open it up. Joe hands a pistol to Angel. Angel checks the ammo.
Joe Everyman: We should have shotguns for this kind of deal.
Angel: How many up there?
Joe Everyman: Three or four.
Angel: That's countin' our guy?
Joe Everyman: Not sure.
Angel: So that means there could be up to five guys up there?
Joe Everyman: It's possible.
Angel: We should have f**kin' shotguns.
Angel and Joe walk up into the apartment building. After a few minutes they reach their door. Joe then knocks and they walk inside. They see three men, Falcon sitting at a table with food infront of him. Mark Evil is sitting laying on a couch and Steve Awesome is standing in the corner.
Joe Everyman: Hey kids! How you boys doin'?
Joe looks down at Mark, who tried to get up.
Joe Everyman: Hey, keep chillin'. You know who we are? We're associates of your business partner Leonard Fox. You do remember your business partner don't you? Let me take a wild guess here. You're Falcon, right?
Falcon: Yeah.
Joe Everyman: I thought so. You remember your business partner Leonard Fox, don't you, Falcon?
Falcon: Yeah, yeah, I remember him.
Joe Everyman: Good. Looks like me and Angel caught you boys at breakfast. Sorry about that. Whatcha havin'?
Falcon: Hamburgers.
Joe Everyman: Hamburgers! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast. What kind of hamburgers?
Falcon: Ch-cheeseburgers.
Joe Everyman: No, no no, where'd you get 'em? McDonalds? Wendy's? Jack in the Box? Where?
Falcon: Big Kahuna Burger.
Joe Everyman: Big Kahuna Burger. That's that Hawaiian burger joint. I hear they got some tasty burgers. I ain't never had one myself. How are they?
Falcon: They're good.
Joe Everyman: Mind if I try one of yours? This is yours here, right?
Joe picks up the burger and takes a bite.
Joe Everyman: Mmm-mmmm. That is a tasty burger. Vincent, ever have a Big Kahuna Burger?
Angel just shakes his head.
Joe Everyman: Wanna bite? They're real tasty.
Angel: Ain't hungry.
Joe Everyman: Well, if you like burgers give 'em a try sometime. I can't usually get 'em myself because my girlfriend's a vegitarian which pretty much makes me a vegitarian. But I do love the taste of a good burger. Mm-mm-mm. You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France?
Falcon: No.
Joe Everyman: Tell 'em, Angel.
Angel: A Royale with cheese.
Joe Everyman: A Royale with cheese! You know why they call it that?
Falcon: Because of the metric system?
Joe Everyman: Check out the big brain on Falcon! You're a smart motherf**ker. That's right. The metric system. What's in this?
Falcon: Sprite.
Joe Everyman: Sprite, good. You mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down?
Falcon: Go right ahead.
Joe drains the Sprite.
Joe Everyman: Ah, hit the spot. You, flock of seagulls, you know why we're here? Why don't you tell my man Angel where you got the s**t hid?
Joe questions Mark, still laying on the couch.
Steve Awesome: It's over there.
Joe Everyman: I don't remember askin' you a damn thing! You were saying?
Mark Evil: It's in the cupboard.
Angel opens a cupboard.
Mark Evil: No, no, the one by your knees.
Joe Everyman: We happy? Angel! We happy?
Angel pulls out the nCw Hardcore title out from the cupboard.
Angel: Yeah, yeah, we happy.
Falcon: I'm sorry, I didn't get your name. I got your name, Angel, right? But I didn't get...
Joe Everyman: My name's Pith. And your ass ain't talkin' your way out of this s**t.
Falcon: No, no, I just want you to know... I just want you to know how sorry we are that things got so f**ked up with us and Mr. Fox. We got into this thing with the best intentions and I never...
Joe then whips out a pistol and shots Mark Evil in the chest.
Joe Everyman: I'm sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that. Please, continue, you were saying something about best intentions. What's the matter? Oh, you were finished. Well then, allow me to retort. What does Leonard Fox look like?
Falcon: What?
Joe Everyman: What country are you from?
Falcon: What?
Joe Everyman: What ain't no country I ever heard of. They speak English in What?
Falcon: What?
Joe Everyman: English, motherf**ker, do you speak it?
Falcon: Yes.
Joe Everyman: Then you know what I'm sayin'!
Falcon: Yes.
Joe Everyman: Describe what Leonard Fox looks like!
Falcon: What?
Joe Everyman: Say what again. Say what again, motherf**ker, say what one more damn time!
Falcon: He's w-w-white...
Joe Everyman: Go on.
Falcon: He's short...
Joe Everyman: Does he look like a bitch?
Falcon: What?
Joe shots Falcon in the shoulder.
Joe Everyman: DOES HE LOOK...LIKE A BITCH?!
Falcon: No!
Joe Everyman: Then why you try to f**k him like a bitch, Falcon?
Falcon: I didn't.
Joe Everyman: Yes you did. Yes you did, Falcon. You tried to f**k him. And Leonard Fox don't like to be f**ked by anybody, except Mrs. Fox. You read the Bible, Falcon?
Falcon: Yes!
Joe Everyman: Well, there's this passage I've got memorized that sort of fits this occasion. Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of the evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper, and the finder of lost children.
Joe starts walking away from the table.
Joe Everyman: And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.
Joe then pulls the pistol and aims it at Falcon.
Joe Everyman: And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!!"
Joe and Angel unload their clips into Falcon. Joe gets down for the cover and Angel counts. ONE...TWO...THREE! Joe gets up and Angel grabs the Hardcore title and they walk out.
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Post by Xavier Williams on Mar 19, 2008 16:27:34 GMT -6
RUNNING YAKUZA KICK TAKES ANGEL AN JOE'S HEAD OFF... LITERALLY
Xavier doesnt bother to pin them, he just steals their wallets and walks into the sunset.
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Post by Steve Awesome on Mar 20, 2008 2:58:21 GMT -6
Awesome hands Xavier a twenty and pins Joe
Uno, Dos, Tres
New Hardcore Champion!
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Post by Angel on Mar 20, 2008 5:54:47 GMT -6
OOC: OHHH MY GOD!!! Joe... That was ****ing awesome... I'm crying right now... I can't even top that....
Angel and Joe Everyman get up off the ground, there heads magically re atached.
Angel: What the hell?
Joe: Damned if I know.
In the distance Steve Awesome is seen running away with the hard core title.
Angel: You wanna see something cool?
Joe: Sure.
Angel: A while back, like two pages ago, I stole god's powers, and I still got a little juice left.
Steve Awesome is still running. Angel waves his hand and then wiggles his nose like Bewitched. Out of no where Godzilla steps right on Steve Awesome.
Joe: Cool.
Angel: I thought so.
Godzilla peels the remains of Awesome off and throws them over to Angel and Joe.
Joe: I got an idea.
Angel and Everyman both pin the remains.
ONE! TWO! THREE!
Joe: DUAL CHAMPIONS! YES! Now no one can take the belts from us.
Angel: I got something I wanted to ask you Joe.
Joe: Shoot.
Angel: Now I said I had a little bit of God's power left. However I just used some to crush Steve Awesome. What you gotta be asking yourself is "Was that all he had left? Or does he have a little more?" So tell me... Do you feel lucky?
Joe: Ummmm....
Angel points his index finger like a gun.
Angel: SPLAH!!!!
Nothing happens.
Joe: Phew... I almost thought you were going to smite me.
Angel: I get that allot. Wanna go watch Unforgiven?
Joe: Sounds like a plan.
The two begin heading towards Angel's car....
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Post by Steve Awesome on Mar 20, 2008 11:18:29 GMT -6
When we last saw our heros Angel had used the last bit of his God powers to create Godzilla and crush Awesome. Then he and Joe Everyman both pinned the blast of class and became dual champions. They thought that nothing could stop them, they thought that they had it all but little did they know.......
As the new team "Movie Quoters Anonymous" head towards there car, out of the corner of his eye Everyman notices something.
Joe: Oh CRAP!
He extends his arm to stop Angel who does and looks around for the reason.
Angel: What's the matter?
Joe: I thought I just saw a.....a......"squirrel"!
Angel: What? Thats impossible. We just saw Steve Awesome die. Your losing it man.
Joe: How can you be so sure Angel? This is the damned Hardcore title thread. Dude, you know as well as I do that anything can f****ing happen in this thread!
Angel: I watched him die with my own eyes! I know some crazy s**t happens within these pages but he was crushed by Godzilla. If Japanese people can't come back from that, NOBODY can!
Joe shakes his head frantically, grabbing his partners shirt and pulling him close.
Joe: I don't know man. I mean, what if it really is him? What if he is stalking us right now? What if he is standing there with that infuriating smirk and he's waiting for us to let our guard down? Then when we least expect it he will strike. I know how he works dude! I like being Hardcore Champion! I really do. I don't want to lose it right now. I'm too young to die! I'm to youn-
Angel slaps Joe.
Joe: Thanks. I needed that. Back to Unforgiven.
Angel: In a bit. Do you wanna see what you were so afraid of?
Angel points behind Joe and Joe turns to see.....a regular cute little squirrel.
Joe: Awwwwwwww! Thats like...Pagnus cute!
Angel: Who's Pagnus?
Joe: Nevermind. Hey look he is coming over.
Angel: Should we feed it?
Joe: I can't I got no nuts.
Angel: Me either. I left them in my other pants.
Once the squirrel realizes there is no food it gets angry. It then leaps into the air stretches its arms out and launches two VERY GIANT nuts! Taking out Joe in a heartbeat and Angel tries to run but apparently these nuts are heat seekers and eventually they take out Angel as well. The nuts pin!
1....2......3!
Moral of the story: Always, Always, ALWAYS[/i], Bring your nuts.
Meanwhile, the crushed Steve Awesome lies motionless and dimenionless when suddenly the giant nuts appear and attached themselves onto Steve Awesome! Then suddenly.....Awesome fingers begin to move and Awesome nips up and smirks. Walking off into the horizon, happy that his nuts are now the dual champion.
Moral of the story 2: Steve Awesome's nuts are the source of Steve Awesome's power!
oh and also....Xavier walks up and steals Joe and Angels wallets again.
P.S: This is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated.
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Post by Angel on Mar 21, 2008 10:24:14 GMT -6
Angel is seen pulling into a gas station. He gets out, and begins fueling up. When he is done he heads inside. Behind the counter is a man who looks very much like Steve Awesome in a squrriel suit. Angel goes up to the counter.
Angel: [indicating bag of cashews] How much?
Awesome: Sixty-nine cent.
Angel: This. And the gas.
Awesome: Y'all gettin' any rain up your way?
Angel: What way would that be?
Awesome: I seen you was from Dallas.
Angel: What business is it of yours where I'm from, friendo?
Awesome: I didn't mean nothin' by it.
Angel: Didn't mean nothin'.
Awesome: I was just passin' the time.
Angel: Just passin' the time.
Awesome: Well sir I apologize. If you don't wanna accept that I don't know what else to do for you. Will there be something else?
Angel: I don't know. Will there?
Awesome: Is somethin' wrong?
Angel: With what?
Awesome: With anything?
Angel: Is that what you're asking me? Is there something wrong with anything?
Awesome: Will there be anything else?
Angel: You already asked me that.
Awesome: Well... I need to see about closin'.
Angel: See about closing.
Aweosme: Yessir.
Angel: What time do you close?
Awesome: Now. We close now.
Angel: Now is not a time. What time do you close?
[Angel looks at Awesome intently. Awesome seems nervous.]
Angel: What's the most you ever lost on a coin toss.
Awesome: Sir?
Angel: The most. You ever lost. On a coin toss.
Awesome: I don't know. I couldn't say.
[Angel flips a quarter from the change on the counter and covers it with his hand]
Angel: Call it.
Awesome: Call it?
Angel: Yes.
Awesome: For what?
Ang: Just call it.
Awesome: Well, we need to know what we're calling it for here.
Angel: You need to call it. I can't call it for you. It wouldn't be fair.
Awesome: I didn't put nothin' up.
Angel: Yes, you did. You've been putting it up your whole life you just didn't know it. You know what date is on this coin?
Awesome: No.
Angel: 1958. It's been traveling twenty-two years to get here. And now it's here. And it's either heads or tails. And you have to say. Call it.
Awesome: Look, I need to know what I stand to win.
Angel: Everything.
Awesome: How's that?
Angel: You stand to win everything. Call it.
Awesome: Alright. Heads then.
[Angel removes his hand, revealing the coin is indeed heads]
Angel: Well done.
[Steve Awesome in disguise nervously takes the quarter with the small pile of change he's apparently won while Angel starts out]
Angel: Don't put it in your pocket, sir. Don't put it in your pocket. It's your lucky quarter.
Awesome: Where do you want me to put it?
Angel: Anywhere not in your pocket. Where it'll get mixed in with the others and become just a coin. Which it is.
[Angel leaves and Steve Awesome stares at him as he walks out]
Awesome: That was.... strange....
[Several minutes go by when all of a sudden Angel's Acura RSX comes screaming through the building and strait into Steve Awesome. Awesome is pinned against the wall as Angel keeps hitting the gas. Angel backs up and Awesome falls to the ground. Angel gets out and pins him.]
ONE! TWO! THREE!
Angel: S to the P to the L to the A to the damn H bitch.
[Angel grabs the hard core title and gets back in his car.]
Angel: Keep the change.
[Angel goes peeling out of the gas station.]
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Post by Dante Cross on Mar 21, 2008 12:09:54 GMT -6
Angel is driving away suddenly the sky becomes Dark and Galactus himself steps onto the Earth, catching the back bumper of Angel car flipping it high into the air as he falls out of it, as Trent Helms jumps off Galactus shoulder, with a Corkscrew 630 Senton, and pins Angel for the title.
As Trent is about to climb back on Galactus, he slips on a Banana peel and hits his head.
Then Angel car lands ontop of him, Angel pins the car and Trent to win back the belt.
Galacus just leaves but not without consuming Vertigo Dirtmurder first.
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Post by Angel on Mar 21, 2008 19:30:23 GMT -6
OOC: Did I just lose and win the title without doing anything? Nice.
Angel starts to run from the scene hoping not to get attacked by any other marvel heroes or villains.
Angel: I'd give anything to have super powers....
Suddenly Mephisto appears in front of Angel.
Mephisto: Anything?
Angel: If your going to take my soul I want to be real unoriginal and become Ghost Rider.
Mephisto: Soul? I'm not in the business anymore.
Angel: Then what do you want?
Mephisto: Personally, I'd like to Retcon about 20 years of your back story, cool?
Angel: And in return I can be Ghost Rider?
Mephisto: Of course.
Angel: Deal.
The two shake hands. A black mist surrounds Angel. When the mist is gone so is Mephisto. Angel is left standing there wearing strange gray pants, a blue leather jacket, and his skull is engulfed in flames. His skin comes back, but now he has red hair and looks gay.
Angel: YOU BASTERD!!! YOU MADE ME DAN KETCH!!! I WANTED TO BE JOHNNY BLAZE!!! f**k YOU!!!!!!!
Angel then storms off like a pissed off child.
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Post by Angel on Mar 21, 2008 19:32:04 GMT -6
Yeah, comic nerd, so?
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Post by Spike Kane on Mar 22, 2008 5:59:17 GMT -6
Spike walks past. Stops, turns. faces the camera.
"ONLY IN AMERICA!"
Spike walks off.
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Post by Steve Awesome on Mar 22, 2008 13:22:25 GMT -6
*Feed Missing*
1....2.....3!
Steve Awesome is the new hardcore champion!
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Post by Angel on Mar 22, 2008 14:24:29 GMT -6
Angel is walking around.
Angel: Thats weak, feed missing. I don't even know how he beat me... DAMMIT!!!!!
Without notice Angel transform into the gay Dan Ketch version of Ghost Rider. His gay looking Jap bike comes rolling up.
Angel: This sucks, stupid Dan Ketch. Stupid Mephisto. Strupid marvel retconing Spiderman....
Angel gets on the bike.
Angel: I'll find you Awesome. I am the Spirit of Vengeance...
Angel rides off into the sunset looking for Steve Awesome.
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Post by Joe Everyman on Mar 22, 2008 14:40:48 GMT -6
Later that day, Angel is filling up his motercycle at a 7-11. Then, Joe walks out of the building area. Angel gets a confused look on his face as Joe walks up. Joe has fire coming out of his feet, his eyes are glowing a bright green and he is holding the Twin Warglaives of Azzinoth.
Joe Stormrage: Hey Angel
Angel: Um...where did you get those?
Joe Stormrage: Oh, the guys at Blizzard were experimenting to see if they could actually make Illidan real. I signed up and got the job.
Angel: That's pretty cool.
Joe Stormrage: Yeah. They changed my last name and I'm starting to warm up to it. Watch this.
Joe then sees a squirrel and fires a huge blast of green energy at it. The squirril explodes like a Pikmin, with the colored ghost and everything.
Angel: That's even cooler.
Joe Stormrage: Yeah, now watch this.
Then, Awesome walks out of the store with a slurpie in hand. He is still wearing the squirrle suit. He looks at Joe and drops the Hardcore title and the slurpie. Joe then transforms into the full demon form and blasts Awesome. He is completely desinigrated. Joe walks over and put his foot on the crator. Angel counts.
1...2...3!
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Post by Steve Awesome on Mar 22, 2008 15:37:55 GMT -6
Joe Everyman celebrates his victory!
Joe: God that was so sweet! I feel like yelling!
Joe opens his mouth wide and yells towards the heavens when suddenly a large gust of wind blows the dust of Steve Awesome up and into Joes mouth, causing Joe to gag.
Joe: Bleh...what the hell?
Suddenly Joes right arm moves up and punches himself in the face.
Joe: Ow...what the hell?
Angel: Looks like the remains of Steve Awesome is trying to use your body as a host.
Joe: Well thats dumb and completely illogical.
Angel just shrugs.
Angel: Blame this rediculous thread, man.
Joe: Ha ha! I am the blast of.....No IM NOT! Yes I am. No im not.
And thusly.....the newly formed Joe Awesome argues into the horizon wear a representitive from Fox appears and offers Joe Awesome a TV show. Since you know...they will air anything!
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